Topic: A Loss Gained

Mara Mallory

Date: 2013-04-23 10:48 EST
((Contains reference to adult situations.))

Dreven City; Late Spring 1259

The day Duncan had been dreading for the last few years had finally come. His mother's already ailing health had taken a turn for the worse, and no matter how much money his father spent on healers and Vivomancers, nothing could be done. A fever, they'd called it. A wasting illness, but Duncan knew better. He knew that at the heart of it all, it had been his sister's death that had broken his mother's spirit and finally taken her life. She had drowned her sorrows in serky for too long, and it had finally taken her from him.

Duncan knew it was his fault. He knew because that was what he'd been told since his sister's death. He couldn't have saved her if he'd tried. He'd only been a boy. It had been his parents' responsibility to keep an eye on her, and yet, somehow it had been easier for them to blame him than take that blame onto themselves. It had been that one single tragedy that had turned a happy family into a disaster. And now that Duncan's mother - his one saving grace - was gone, he knew his relationship with his father would only become that much more difficult.

Fittingly, it was a cold, dreary, rainy day when they'd put her in the ground, surrounded by people Duncan hardly knew and cared for even less. Not a friendly face in the crowd, save for a servant or two who'd come to pay their respects to the woman who'd been the mistress of the house and the only thing that had stood between the master and his son. Duncan remained at the grave well past the time when those gathered had dispersed, and not even his father's gruff reminder that he was expected home could budge him from her side. He remained there for what seemed like hours, until the sun was growing dark in the sky and a roll of thunder could be heard in the distance. Warm tears mingled with cold rain. No matter, it was all moisture, it was all the same to him. He stumbled blindly at last from the place, not knowing where to go, not caring where he arrived.

He'd have gone to the cottage, but it was too far on foot and he was too weary to make the walk on his own. He dreaded going home, knowing the lecture that awaited him now that his mother was gone. He expected no kindness from his father, but only harsh rules and reminders of what was expected of him. There was only one person he wanted to see and one place he wanted to go. It was nearly dark by the time he arrived there, shivering with cold, soaked to the skin, pale and weary and grief-stricken. He sagged and rested his head against the door, not even bothering to knock, only standing there, waiting for someone to answer, to rescue him from his own misery.

There were voices audible from within, both easy to recognise for the young man leaning heavily against the door that kept both from his sight. Mara and Elise were arguing - again - something which had happened all too frequently since the girl had turned sixteen and been told that she had only a single year before she was expected to support herself with the skills she was still learning. She had started to rebel, and though Elise often won these arguments, today she was losing. Because today, all Mara wanted to do was see Duncan, to be with him. The whole city knew of the death of his mother, that she was interred on this day, and only consideration for his father's recriminations had kept the girl from being at the graveside with her friend.

As the moments passed, footsteps sounded beneath the familiar, ranting voice, and the latch on the door was lifted, revealing Mara wrapped in a cloak, intending to run out into the rain to find him. Instead, she found him standing there, weak, shivering with cold, and her gasp was lost beneath the deafening roar of the spring rain. "Duncan ..." For a moment, she didn't know what to do, what to say. Then she reached for him, taking his cold hand in hers and pulling him inside. "Elise, build up the fire in my room," she called, pushing the door closed to lock it tight, turning her attention to her darling. "Duncan, you're wet to the skin. Come ....come to the fire, let me get you out of those wet clothes."

He offered no argument, letting her lead him where she would, half dazed and sick at heart. Though his mother's death had come as no great surprise, it had still hit him hard, a blow from which he had not yet recovered. He was unaware of the argument that had been going on between them, because of him, and perhaps it was better that way. He had piled too much guilt upon himself already, for the deaths of his sister and mother. Had he known he was a source of contention between the two women, it would have only heaped more guilt upon his young shoulders and made him grieve further. Though finely dressed, he was all in black, the color of mourning, a color that matched the shadow in his heart.

Elise paused in the passageway, her mouth opening to object only to fall silent when she saw the state of her charge's friend and lover. Without a word, she hurried to Mara's room ahead of them, working to build up the fire and lay out warm blankets.

Mara herself walked with Duncan, careful not to push him too hard or move him too fast, her fingers casting aside her own cloak on the nearest surface before turning her attention to removing the sodden cloth from around his shoulders. She could feel his grief, the sadness that weighed him down, touching soft kisses to his cold face as her fingers worked at the fastenings that held him in the chafing, fine cloth he wore. She didn't ask him to speak, or fill the silence with thoughtless chatter, having learned comfortable silence over the year that had passed. As his sodden, dripping clothes fell away, they were taken up by Elise, to be dried and laundered, leaving Duncan in Mara's care. She led him to a chair before the fire, wrapping him up in warm blankets. "Here," she told him softly, offering a glass of warmed wine that Elise had intended for her to drink before she slept. "Have you eaten?"

Duncan seemed to move woodenly, as if lost in a daze, barely aware that his wet, sodden clothes were being stripped away. No attempt was made to argue or resist. It was as if he was only half there, his thoughts far away, in a state of half-frozen shock and heart-wrenching grief. He said nothing, his face pale and strained, his body cold to the touch. He let her lead him to a chair and wrap him up in blankets, not saying a single word or even acknowledging her presence, until at last she somehow drew him out of his thoughts with a simple question and the offer of wine.

He looked confused for a moment, as though he hadn't understood the question, hardly remembering how he'd come to be there. "Eaten?" he echoed, as if the very thought of food had been the farthest thing from his mind. He couldn't remember when he'd eaten last, though he supposed it must have been recently enough. His eyes filled with tears as he looked up at her, though he thought he had cried himself out. "I..." He broke off, swallowing hard, unable to steady the tremor in his voice

She had only seen him cry once, and even then, it had been more anger than anything. She had no idea how to take this suddenly lost little boy he had become, hurting and grieving and unable to speak even a few words without that pain welling up. She twisted for a moment, grasping another chair to pull it close to where he sat, sweeping down onto it as her arms moved to wrap around him. "Sweetheart, it's all right," she promised him in a quiet murmur, her fingers stroking through his wet curls. "It's just me."

If she had not possessed his heart before, she most certainly did now, as she took him into her embrace. He had lacked open affection from anyone but her since his sister's death, feeling more broken and alone than ever now that his mother had died. There would be no words of praise or fondness from his father, that he knew, and Duncan had stopped trying to win the man's love long ago, preferring indifference to disapproval. He let her wrap him up in her embrace, made no effort to try and hide the anguish he was feeling, not from the one person who knew him better than anyone. In that moment, he lost his heart to her completely, drawing comfort from her to ease the pain that was wrenching his heart and crushing his spirit.

Mara didn't know what to say, much less what to do. This wasn't something any amount of training could have prepared her for, and in a way, she was glad of that. She didn't want to remind him of something else that raked over his last nerve, not when he was like this. Dragging her chair right up against his with one foot, she nestled as close as she could, gathering him into her arms without a care for the drip of water from his hair into the thin silk of her chemise and dress. All she could do was hold him, murmur the same reassurances that she was there for him, and hope that Duncan found his way back to her from the midst of the darkness he was lost in.

Mara Mallory

Date: 2013-04-23 10:48 EST
Somewhere along the way, he started to talk, quietly at first, brokenly, not making much sense perhaps until it all came together. "It wasn't my fault," he murmured, as though he had somehow been to blame for his mother's death, but the feelings of guilt and grief went so much deeper than that, so much further back in his history that he could hardly remember the early days when his family had known joy and contentment. Those days were like a dream, almost like they never really happened, overshadowed by the tragedy that had changed everything.

"It wasn't my fault," he muttered over and over, between heaving sobs, his voice breaking. "It's not fair." Little by little, the story started to come out and the pieces started to fall together, the pain he'd kept hidden from everyone, even from her. "I couldn't save her. I tried. It wasn't my fault. They should have been there. It was them, not me." As the grief was slowly shed, it was replaced by anger and a realization that he really wasn't to blame - not for his sister's death, not for his father's rage, not for his mother's cowardice. He lifted his head at last from her shoulder, his eyes bright with tears, but seeing the truth clearer than he had in years. "It was their fault, not mine." For anyone else, that unhappy litany would have been a shock. For Mara, though she didn't know all the details, she knew enough to know what he meant even before he began to grow angry at the injustice. He'd never told her before that his parents blamed him for his little sister's death, but it was not such a surprise to hear. After all, she'd seen and heard how they both had fallen into darkness of their own since that fateful day. "You were just a child," she murmured to him, her fingers never stilling in their gently soothing caress through his hair as he lifted his head from her shoulder, her green eyes meeting his with sad, tender understanding, so focused on him that she barely noticed Elise slipping back inside to leave a tray of simple food close by before closing the door firmly behind her, leaving them alone once more. "It wasn't your fault. It's wrong that they blamed you."

Once he realized that and she confirmed it for him, the years of guilt and grief seemed to melt slowly away. They'd never be gone completely. It would take years for him to understand and accept what had happened, but it was a beginning. It was the start of healing a heart that had been badly broken for so long. He didn't have to ask her if she really believed that. He could see it in her eyes. She had never once lied to him, and he trusted her more than anyone. He wiped the tears from his face, his body starting to thaw from the heat of the fire and the warmth of her body close to his. "I'm-I'm sorry," he apologized, feeling a little ashamed that he'd laid this burden on her, that he'd brought his troubles to her door without hardly realizing he'd done it. "I shouldn't be here."

Her brow rose, daring him to repeat that. "Don't," she told him, firm but quiet, rubbing her hands over the blanket to warm him with friction for a long moment as her lips brushed to his temple. "I'm glad you came. I never would have been able to find you on my own, and ....I was going to come find you anyway." Her palm stroked gently against his cheek, confident to touch him even in this shaken moment. "You're staying here tonight. I don't care what anyone says or thinks. I want you whole again before you leave me."

He frowned at her, relieved she was insisting he stay and yet worried what would happen when he went home. "I wish I could stay here with you. You're lucky to have Elise. She cares about you. She takes care of you. I've-I've never had that." It wasn't like him to speak of such things, to feel sorry for himself. He usually chose to focus on the future, on how he was determined to change things, to make his life what he wanted it to be, but there were times like these when he just felt trapped. He dreaded going home to face his father's wrath alone, and now that his mother was gone, there was very little reason for his father to keep the peace. "If he finds me here..." He trailed off, leaving the rest unsaid. They both knew what would happen in that case. He turned from her to watch the flames dance in the hearth. If it wasn't for her, he might have left home long ago, but they had a plan, and he was growing restless for that plan to be put in motion.

"I'll take care of you." It seemed like such a simple, childlike thing to offer from the lips of a teen girl who was more a woman now than she had been a year before. Her fingers trailed fondly against Duncan's cheek as she leaned in closer, nuzzling a soft kiss to his jaw. "He won't find you," she promised in a fervent tone. "He'll be too deep in his cups tonight to notice, and too hungover in the morning to care. You've got tonight, Duncan. Just be." She made to rise, to move to where Elise had left the tray. "You need to eat."

I'll take care of you. His heart swelled at that very simple promise, falling deeper in love with this slip of a girl who was fast becoming a woman. His eyes followed her as she touched him and kissed him and moved about the room. For one night, at least, he'd feel safe and loved and cared for. For one night, he wouldn't feel so alone. There was no point in arguing when he knew she was right. He would worry about it in the morning. For now, he had a brief respite from his father, to take a little time to grieve his mother's death and put her memory to rest. "I don't deserve you," he said, gathering the blankets tighter about his bare shoulders, hardly remembering how he'd come to be that way.

Elise had heated some of the beef stew that had been their supper, cutting bread and even leaving some of their precious butter for Duncan to enjoy at his leisure. Mara brought it all over to him, setting it out on the table by his side. "I think you've got that the wrong way round," she smiled faintly, resuming her place by his side. "Eat something, Mal. You're cold and tired, and it'll be morning before your clothes are ready to wear anyway." She didn't need to add that he would be sharing her bed tonight, the bed that lay along the wall behind them. It was taken as read, however much of a gentleman he was going to try to be.

He'd been about to argue with her and point out the reasons he didn't deserve her, when she mentioned his clothing. Suddenly alarmed, he peered beneath the covering of blankets, as if just realizing that his clothes were missing and the blankets were the only thing keeping his nakedness hidden from her view. It wasn't like she'd never seen him before, but never completely exposed the way he must have been when she'd stripped him. When had that happened and why didn't he remember it' He glanced with equal alarm to the only bed in the room. Again, it wasn't as if they had never shared sleeping arrangements before. They'd spent a few nights at the summer cottage, but always fully dressed, never like this. "I don't-I don't think this is a good idea, Mara."

The look she gave him was one that really wasn't going to brook any argument. "Well, tough," was her rather childish answer to his stammered objection. "Either you stay, or you walk home naked. But either way, you're going to eat before you do anything." Her fingertips tapped the table beside him, a tiny teasing smile touching her face. "And don't think I won't force-feed you if I have to."

"I can see what kind of wife you're going to make," he remarked, teasing her back, with only the tiniest hint of a gleam in his eyes. In truth, he was enjoying the way she was trying to take care of him, and he was only too happy to put himself in her care. It was his father's ire he was dreading, knowing if the man found out where he'd been spending his free time, there'd be hell to pay, but now that his mother was gone, maybe it was time he stood up for himself and became a man in his own right. He turned his body toward the table, pulling the blankets with him. Whether he consciously felt hungry or not, his stomach rumbled, reminding him he hadn't eat in over a day.

"Yours, obviously," was her slowly drawled answer to that teasing remark, but her smile grew at the way he seemed to be relaxing. She hadn't liked seeing him so withdrawn, so entrapped in guilt and shame and pain that wasn't his to carry, deeply grateful that he had come back to her. From another room in the house came the sound of Elise settling herself down for the night. In another hour, they might as well be completely alone together. And for some reason, Mara felt just a little bit nervous about that - a delicious kind of nervous, but still nervous.

He, too, heard the sound of her nursemaid moving about in another room, presumably readying for bed. The rain continued outside, hammering on the roof and against the windows, muffled thunder in the distance. If he left now, he'd only be soaked again and risk falling ill. He purposely lowered his voice as he spoke again. "Is she upset that I'm here?" he asked, worried his presence might cause her some trouble.

Mara shook her head, leaning into his side as she buttered the bread for him. She didn't know for certain, of course, but if Elise had truly been upset at Duncan's presence, she wouldn't have left them to it. "No," she assured him softly. "No, she's just worried about you. I've been trying to get away to see you all day."

Mara Mallory

Date: 2013-04-23 10:49 EST
"Worried about me?" he echoed, sounding surprised as he pulled a bare arm out of the blanket to pick up the spoon and take in a bit of warm stew. He furrowed his brows as she continued, wondering if it was really Mara who'd been worried about him, not Elise. "I don't know what made me come here." The spoon hovered in front of him as he got lost in his thoughts again. "I don't remember."

"I'm not surprised." She set the buttered slices down, brushing crumbs from her fingers as she deliberately leaned against his side, braving the chill of his wet hair against her forehead to rest her cheek on his shoulder. "You scared me when you got here," she admitted. "I've never seen you like that, so closed off. I don't think you hear anything I said at all." Not to mention the fact that he didn't seem to have realized that it had been Mara who had stripped him down.

He seemed to realize with another start that she had been worried for him and he lowered the spoon to turn his head to face her, his face etched with worry. The color was slowly coming back into his cheeks, and he no longer felt as cold as marble. The grief and guilt that had hung so heavily like a dark cloud over his heart and mind had receded a little. His eyes still betrayed his sadness, but everything was easier to bear when she was by his side. "I'm sorry," he apologized again. "I didn't mean to make you worry." He leaned to brush a kiss against her forehead, both possessive and protective. He would do everything in his power to keep her safe, even if it came at risk to his own safety.

She felt exactly the same way about him, though as it stood neither of them could even imagine a situation where she would be the one doing the protecting. Raising her head, she smiled softly to him. "Stop apologizing," she told him firmly. "I'd rather you were here for me to worry over, than wandering around in the rain the gods alone know where."

His brows knit together again as he tried to remember where his head had been these last few hours since they had laid his mother in the ground. "I was going to go to the cottage, but....it was too far in the rain." He shuddered briefly with a glance at the rain that was beating against the windows. He'd always hated the cold, thriving beneath the summer sun. "I didn't want to go home, and....there was no place else to go."

"You've always got a place with me," she objected quietly, disliking the way even that sounded like an apology of sorts, as though he didn't want to be here with her at all. "Finish the stew," she suggested softly. "Do you want a bath, or something" I don't want you getting ill, Mal." Again, her fingertips stroked against his cheek, fingers that were familiar with almost every part of his body, with strangely innocent warmth.

That wasn't what he'd meant at all and wasn't even true, really. In his shock and grief, he'd ended up going to the one place where he knew he could find the one person he trusted more than any other. It wasn't so much that he didn't want to be there, as it was that he didn't want to cause her any trouble. He thought he'd already caused her a world of heartache in the short time he'd known her. He took up his spoon again and this time managed to get some to his mouth, which warmed his insides as it went down. He hadn't even realized he was hungry until he'd taken that first spoonful. After that the rest went down fairly quickly, along with a bit of bread and the glass of warm wine.

She watched him eat with a soft smile playing about her lips, unaware of how adult that loving expression made her seem, not quite able to take her eyes off him for more than a moment or two. She'd meant it when she'd said she would look after him; even though she couldn't cook, and only just knew which end of a broom was supposed to go on the floor, she thought she could happily keep house when he married her, no matter where they ended up. It never occurred to her that it wouldn't happen, trusting in his promises more than she liked to admit.

The thought of a bath made him blush a little. Though he'd grown used to her attention and affections as her practice subject, the thought of taking a bath in her presence was too much to bear. "I'll be fine, Mara. Don't worry so much," he told her between spoonfuls, though part of him liked that she worried about him. All he really needed was a hot meal, dry clothes, and a little sleep, and he'd be fine, along with some companionship. The loneliness was often more than he could bear, and not even his friends' company could ease that pain for long.

"Permission to ignore that order?" she chuckled softly, relieved to see that he was warm enough now to blush, even if it was at the thought of taking a bath near her. It wasn't as though she hadn't seen him naked before, or touched him while he was so bare, after all. Her fingers rested on his shoulder, the tip of her forefinger still stroking against his neck as he ate. "Tired?"

And though it wasn't like they'd never slept together in the same bed, that question brought a further blush to his cheeks and a tightening of muscles in his stomach. "I'll sleep in the chair," he insisted, knowing how ridiculous that sounded, when they'd shared a bed more than once at the lake without a chaperone to watch over them.

Mara rolled her eyes with a sigh. "No, you won't," she argued, not really wanting to argue but at the same time not prepared to have him think he could undo the good a hot meal had done with a bad night's sleep. "You're sleeping in the bed, Duncan, and no arguments. Don't make me get Elise up to tell you so - she's scary cranky when you wake her up unexpectedly."

"What will she think of me sleeping here, Mara? I don't want to risk your virtue." Perhaps he should have thought of that long ago when they'd spent their very first night at the lake, or before he'd insisted on becoming her practice subject. He was already there, and if Elise didn't mind, then he wasn't quite sure why he was feeling so awkward about it. He knew it was a temptation for them both, and as a gentleman, it was up to him to control his urges and respect her virtue, at least for now.

"Duncan ....she knows how I feel about you," Mara reminded him quietly, a little offended by how many reasons he was thinking of not to even lie down in a bed with her, much less do anything else. "To be honest, I think she'd be surprised to find out you haven't had me yet. I know I am," she added in a low mutter, glancing away to the fire with a quiet sigh. "I don't want to argue with you. This is just how it is."

He arched a brow, more than a little surprised by that admission. There was no doubt that he wanted her, that he'd wanted her for a long time, but he had always tried to be a gentleman, even when it had proved nearly impossible. She was quickly learning how to please him, and if she really wanted to give herself to him, he knew it would be difficult for him to resist. He laid the spoon in the bowl, now that he was finished eating and looked to her again. The wine was making his head swim, a headache throbbing dully from all the crying.

"Mara," he started, a serious tone in his voice. "Promise me, I'll be your first." He wanted to be her one and only and had plans to make her his wife, but he couldn't be sure if something would change between now and then, and though he wanted to wait for marriage, he also didn't want someone else taking her virginity instead of him. He thought it was a selfish request, but he had been told that the first time for a girl was painful, and he didn't want that for her. He knew he would be gentle with her, even if he was as much a virgin as she was.

She twisted in her seat to face him, drawing her hands over his, slender fingers twisting between his own as she met his gaze head on, as serious and solemn as he was. "You know you will be," she promised him, determined to keep that promise despite the hints Elise had been dropping lately on how much her virginity was worth. "I can't believe you think you have to ask me that. Didn't I tell you already? No one's touched me but you. No one's kissed me but you." Her hands left his, moving to the laces that held her loose dress closed over her bust. No one's seen me but you.

Mara Mallory

Date: 2013-04-23 10:49 EST
His gaze drifted downward, like it had so many times before. In her lessons, it was always her who touched him, rarely the other way around, yet somehow he knew she wanted him to. Why else would she bare herself to him like this" "You are so beautiful," he told her, not for the first time, reaching to touch her cheek, to trace the graceful line of her jaw, his hand drifting to brush his fingertips against her neck.

The blue of her overdress slipped away over her arms, leaving her only in the loose chemise and her snug bloomers but unashamed of that fact. "I don't care if I'm beautiful," she told him, the faint pout on her lips a little petulant, proving her youth still held some sway over her emotions, the way she presented herself. "I only care if I'm yours. And I want to be yours, Duncan, so badly." As she spoke, she rose onto her feet, offering him her hand. "You need to sleep," she said regretfully, not wanting to curtail what could blossom but equally not wanting to put desire before need.

He took her hand, surrendering himself to her, trusting himself to her care. It was why he'd come here after all, and not gone someplace else. He gathered the blankets around him as best he could and moved to his feet, giving in. No more arguments. They'd shared one bed before, and they would again. Someday in the not too distant future - if all went according to plan - they'd share a marriage bed, and she'd belong to him completely.

Hand in hand, Mara smiled at the unaccountable shyness with which he kept himself covered up, only just managing not to tease him about it as she turned to lead him over to the bed. Turning the covers back, she pulled the warming pan from between the sheets, patting the soft linens invitingly. "Get in," she told him. "I won't be long, I just have to blow out the candles."

He turned his back to her, feeling suddenly shy, as he dropped the blankets and climbed between the sheets, grateful for the warmth. He was still young and boyish, though the landscape of his body was starting to change, familiar to her eyes and her hands, as he slowly became a man. He'd grown taller, but not yet as tall as he'd become. His shoulders were starting to broaden, a tuft of dark hair beneath his arms and curling on his legs, but nothing yet on his chest. His face was still boyish, smooth and beardless, but in every way that mattered, he had already become a man.

Mara was true to her word, leaving him to slide into the bed as she set herself to the little preparations for sleep. Locking her door, damping down the fire to glowing embers, blowing out the candles ....undressing herself in the red glow from the hearth. He'd seen her topless before, but not all the way, as it were, and in the gentle glow from the fire's embers, her skin seemed luminescent as she peeled herself out of stockings, chemise, and bloomers, grateful that the semi-darkness hid her blush. She had reached almost her own full height, such as it was likely to be, and indeed, it seemed as though the womanly side of her development was almost done as well. She offered an hourglass of a silhouette in the crackling gloom, all soft curves and smooth skin, crowned with that flaxen-gold tumble of hair to her mid-back.

It seemed to him in that moment that she belonged only to him, that she was baring herself to him, for his eyes alone, and taking to the bed to give herself to him, but he knew that was not truly the case. He pulled the blankets up over his own nakedness, resting against the lush softness of pillows as he watched her in shed her clothing, a soft and lovely curving silhouette against the glow of the fire's embers. He couldn't help but feel a swell of desire, and he knew he would be unable to hide it from her if she looked for it. Did it even matter if had her so soon' By the end of the year, he would come of age, and he would have her, he would marry her and make her his wife and no one would ever have her again. Or so he thought. If she only asked it of him, he would gladly make her his, truly and completely.

It was difficult not to be acutely aware of his eyes on her as she moved about the room, finally slipping beneath the sheets herself with a softly nervous shake of her breath, twisting to lie on her side as she faced him, pillowing her cheek on her hand. "How come you're the shy one when I'm the one walking around naked?" she asked him quietly, her smile audible if not visible in the gloom.

"I'm not the one in training to please a man," he countered, not daring to move closer or to even touch her, unsure he'd be able to hold himself back this time, with her so close and without any clothing to form a safe barrier. "I'll be seventeen soon," he reminded her. It seemed so close and yet so very far away. "I'm going to tell my father tomorrow. I'm going to tell him everything. He's held sway over my life long enough. Now that Mother is..." He hesitated a moment. "Now that she's gone, there's no reason for me to keep the peace."

"Everything?" Mara's confidence slipped at that, her face turning pale in the semi-darkness gathered around them. She knew Duncan was setting himself up for another beating with this decision, but there was something else there that was more directly alarming. Mallory Senior was a hard bastard used to getting his own way; what would he do to her, to make sure Duncan did as he wanted" Her hand crept across the blankets to curl her fingers about those of her friend, her lover. "He'll hurt you badly."

"No, he won't, Mara. I'm not going to let him. Not this time. Not anymore." It seemed Duncan had been thinking at least a little during the time that he'd been quiet and lost in thought, considering his options, weighing each one carefully. It was a hint of the man he'd one day become, intelligent and able to think his way through a complicated situation. He had not yet perfected that trait, but it was only a matter of time. "My mother provided some money for my future. We can be married, Mara. We can have our dream." He wasn't afraid to work. He was willing to work hard to provide a home for her, to make sure she was cared for and taken care of the way she deserved.

"I wish it could happen tomorrow," she confessed softly, all too aware that though they only had to wait until he reached seventeen for their plan to come together, it was still several months away. And even if, somehow, his father managed not to get rid of her in that time, Stefan was still out there. She inched closer, daring to touch her lips to Duncan's cheek in the warm darkness. "You're the most important person in my life, Mal. Don't forget it."

"There's no one I love more than you," he promised, hesitating a moment before returning her kiss, briefly, chastely before daring a second kiss, warmer than the first, a little more demanding. He touched her cheek, his fingers combing gently through her hair. He so wanted to leave this place, to go away somewhere where no one knew who they were, where they could make a life for themselves and live in peace. Just a little bit longer.

Just one more turn of the summer, and they'd be there. It still seemed so far away, so fragile a future to hold onto. But he knew exactly how to distract her from those kinds of thoughts, the distraction made harder to challenge when his second kiss was answered with something a little more passionate still. For a moment, she could believe they were still innocent enough to enjoy their kisses in quiet peace ....before a slow shift of limbs brought her body against his beneath the warm sheets, filling his mouth with the soft taste of her suddenly hot, eager gasp. Her hand skimmed over his shoulder as her eyes opened, not even trying to deny the desire that radiated from her as their eyes locked in the gloom.

It had always been her who had tried to please him, but this time it was different. He wanted it to be different. Maybe it was the grief or the wine or the fact that he'd finally made the decision to gather his courage and stand up to his father. Whatever it was, he was suddenly no longer feeling shy or timid, and for once, he wanted to please her, rather than the other way around. He wanted her to teach him, to show him what it was that made her feel the same fire of heat that was burning inside him, that made him want her so. It was dangerous, he knew, but she had already promised herself to him, and it was only a matter of time before they would be together. "Tell me what you want," he breathed against her lips, lowering his voice so that Elise could not hear them from the other room. "Teach me how to please you the way you please me."

What a question. Mara stilled for a moment, unable to stay so stiff for more than a few seconds as she shivered under the soft enticement in his voice. Her lessons had always been about how to please the man; she didn't have an answer for him. Swallowing as her skin flushed warm and welcoming, she touched her lips to his again, breathing her reply as honestly as she could. "I ....I don't know how," she admitted, laying her palm flat against the heat of his chest, feeling the unaccustomed pressure of his legs against hers under the blankets. But he wanted her; he wanted to learn her the way she'd learned him. Modesty did not become her in that moment. "Touch me," she whispered, coaxing, encouraging him as much as she dared. "We-we can find out together."

Mara Mallory

Date: 2013-04-23 10:51 EST
What could he possibly say to that' Though he had no idea how to please a woman - for in that moment, that was what she had become - he wanted to learn, needed to learn, if only so he could give her a little bit of what she'd given him. This was no longer about practicing the art of seduction - it was about two hearts and two souls who yearned for each other, who wanted to be bound and joined together in every way. He touched her tentatively at first, watching her face to gauge her reaction. "You will tell me if I hurt you?" he asked, not wanting to hurt her, only wanting to love her.

"I'll tell you," she promised, her voice already a little breathless as he began that learning process. She had had him at her fingertips so many times, brought him to the brink and past it so many times, and yet, despite a sense that something was missing, it had never occurred to her that this was something he could do for her as well. Not until this moment, when he was as ready to touch her as she was willing, muffling the soft sounds of her trembling delight in kisses as slowly he learned what to do without the gentle guidance of her hand over his.

He was awkward at first - like that very first kiss - but what he lacked in experience, he more than made up for in tenderness. He explored the terrain of her body quietly, gently, taking his cues from her, from every rise in pulse, every sigh of breath. He kissed her and touched her, tracing every soft curve with soft lips and gentle fingertips. He wondered at the beauty that was his lover, at every soft nuance of her. He tasted her desire on his lips, felt the heat that radiated from the very core of her center, from that sacred place that every man yearned for.

He explored her and tasted her and touched her until he was drunk with desire and feeling lightheaded. There was only one thing he had not yet done, and that was claim her completely as his. He had no thoughts of ruining her, no thoughts of hurting her, only of loving her and making her his. Unlike Stefan, he didn't want to only possess her and use her until he grew bored with her; he wanted to love her and have a family with her, be with her until the end of his days.

Mara hadn't realized that this was how it felt when someone you loved touched you and meant it. If she'd known, she might not have been quite so wicked in her enthusiasm to do it to him, to bring him to the crest of delight and push him over, especially not in front of Elise. This was something private, something personal, something that was far beyond what she had expected from the gentle play of hands over her inexperienced form. Gasping with that pleasure, she kissed him tenderly as the echo of delight faded from her limbs, soft and uncertain, shy of going further. Not this time. But there was one thing she could do. "My turn."

He offered no argument, allowing her to lead the way, to tell him how far she would allow him to go. She had given him pleasure so many times, it seemed only fair that he give it to her in return. The slight disappointment he felt that he had been denied the gift of making her completely his faded quickly as she offered to relieve his frustration. He felt strung out tight as a wire, her touch like fire against his flesh. He'd held back so long he knew it would take very little to send him over the edge. The tables were turned, and once again, he was at her mercy, but one day soon, he vowed, when she was ready to give herself to him completely, he would take her to him and he would make her his.

She had learned her lessons very well indeed. But this was the first opportunity she'd had to simply enjoy him, without stern eyes watching her every move, ready to tell her when she was right or wrong, and somehow the freedom that gave her gave him something even more unparalleled. He wasn't a lesson in these moments; he was her lover. Hers. And she did everything she could to make it as wonderful for him as he had made it for her.

It was different somehow without Elise there telling her what to do and how to do it. It was just the two of them, learning their way, learning each other, learning from both their mistakes and their little triumphs. His body reacted to her attention with ever greater fervor than ever before, all shyness gone as he didn't have to feel self-conscious at being watched by her tutor. She played his body just as he'd played her, taking him to new heights, leaving him breathless and trembling, satiated and exhausted. He felt at last calm, contented, and most importantly loved, the anguish of the day forgotten in the wake of her loving attention.

As that calmness settled over him, Mara found herself nestled close amid the warm sheets, no longer so shy of her skin next to his. They might not yet be full lovers, but another step had been taken, and one that no other could even begin to claim. She had touched him, yes, but he had touched her, showing her that it wasn't a kind of magic taught only to courtesans, but something anyone could learn. Something she was allowed to enjoy as much as her lover did. She offered him a tiny smile in the darkness, brushing her lips over his jaw as her arm drew the sheets over them both. "Soon," she promised in a soft whisper. "I will be ready, soon."

Somehow in his sleepiness, he did not misunderstand. He knew she was not talking of her skills, that she would soon be ready to become what she had been trained to be, but that she would be ready for him to take that which had been promised to him, the most valuable gift she could ever give him, save that of her heart. Despite everything that had happened that day, there was a soft smile on his lips when he closed his eyes to fall asleep, wrapped together in her embrace, feeling hopeful and calm. "I love you," he whispered back, wearily, sleepily, not just words but words with meaning. There was no one in the world that he loved more than his Mara and there never would be.

Her lips curved in a tender smile of her own as he lulled against her, too awake for sleep just yet. As he drifted, she stroked her fingers against his cheek, murmuring to him the same sentiment from a heart he knew belonged to him. "Love you back." It didn't matter that the next day could bring changes of the worst kind. It didn't matter that Stefan remained a threat on the horizon, or that nobles were beginning to line up in preparation to bid on a virginity that would never be for sale. All that mattered was Duncan, and how very much she loved him. Mara knew she would do anything for her beloved sweetheart. She just didn't know how soon that anything would be asked of her, or how far she would have to go.

((And so the backstory deepens. What will happen when Duncan confronts his father" Stayed tuned to find out! Also ....massive fantabulocious spongifloriolous thankidoodles to Duncan's player!))