Topic: Contact

Tia Coslan

Date: 2017-08-22 10:32 EST
Tuesday

Open the door, I'm downstairs Can't you hear the bell" Or the dog" It's raining There's a hole in my umbrella Is it illegal to kill your roommate before you even move in" The apartment's going to stink of dog and it's your fault

I think you have the wrong number. Sorry.

Not funny Let me in

I can't let you in. I am not your roommate. YOU HAVE THE WRONG NUMBER!!!! I do not I wrote it down ...

"

Oops. You can't hear a crazy woman yelling and a dog barking, by any chance"

Nope, sorry.

Damn ....Sorry

No worries. Hope your roommate lets you in before you get too wet.

Me too

;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :??": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin:

I have a key! And I'm dry again now Know any good take out places south of Market Street"

Can't talk now. Sorry. Glad you got dry. Try The Sandwich Place.

Will do

;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :??": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin:

Dry and full and warm. These are good things. Damn, you can't talk Sorry :|

;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :?"": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin:

How about now" Sorry

You say sorry a lot.

You're alive! I know I do Sorry :D

There u go again Don't say sorry!

I formally apologise for being too talky"

Same thing. :P How was your sandwich"

Gorgeous!

Did it taste good, too"

I didn't know you could do that to pork and still be able to sell it Huh" Must have done, Solo stolen most of it

Is Solo your dog"

Garbage disposal on legs https://i.pinimg.com/236x/b5/b8/69/b5b869dc3096167362cf9b7d11761f99—blue-cane-corso-brindle-cane-corso.jpg Isn't he beautiful"

A face only a mother could love

That face is smoochable If a bit smelly And slobbery

He's something anyway. :D

Don't you like dogs"

Sure, I like dogs

But not my dog What's wrong with my dog" I'll send a rude emoji if you don't like my dog

Nothing. brb Back, sorry. Nothing wrong with your dog. What do you care what I think anyway' You don't even know me.

Did I bore you? I've been told I talk too much Do I need to know you to care what you think about the most gorgeousest doggie in the whole wide world"

Technically, we aren't talking. We're texting. And it shouldn't matter what anyone else thinks but you.

I don't know anyone but you Apart from my roommate, but she's out Who schedules a date when they know someone's coming in from out of town"

Someone who really wants to go on a date" New in town"

Feh I've seen him, he isn't all that That obvious, huh" Hello" Did I break you?

Still here. So looks matter, huh"

Not especially But showing up to a dinner date dressed like Yoda"

You said he isn't all that.

He's not MY type Not that it matters I'm going to die with a permanently closed hoohar

Got something against little green men with big, pointy ears" LOL What is your type"

Someone who doesn't mind verbal diarrhea" I have a bad habit of talking a lot About nothing!

To strangers. Didn't anyone ever warn you about stranger danger"

You're not a stranger, you've seen my dog

I could be a serial killer.

Again You've seen my dog :D

That doesn't make us friends.

Doesn't make us strangers, either

I don't even know your name.

So' I don't know yours Can I put you in my phone" First proper contact and all Under ....Sandwich Man.

I don't know if that's a good idea.

Too late You're stuck with me now

I have to go. Sorry.

... Sorry

Goodnight.

Night, Sandwich Man

Tia Coslan

Date: 2017-08-22 10:39 EST
;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :?"": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin:

You there" Can't sleep.

Here You okay"

Can't sleep. Nothing on TV. No one to talk to.

Talk to me then ....do you like cheese"

Cheese"

First thing that came to mind I had a runny cheese couple of months ago

Who doesn't like cheese"

Stank so bad Solo buried it he barks hi, btw

I'm confused. Hi, back! Bow wow"

LOL You made his night How do I unconfuse you?

:) Tell me your name.

Aren't you the one who got all worried about sharing info with strangers, Sandwich Man"

Doesn't have to be your real name. Make one up.

Well, I could say Leia, but I'd never answer to it Nope, it's gonna have to be the nickname You'd better be going to give me something in exchange, you know

Han and Leia. That's cute. Your dog is named Solo.

I may be a little obsessed with SW LITTLE obsessed Tia

Your name is Tia" Confused again!

My nickname is Tia You'll never work out what name it's from

Is that a challenge"

Maaaaaybe You up to it"

Maaaaaybe :P

Bring it on, Sandwich Man

Er ... Three guesses"

Sure

Christia"

And if you don't guess it right, you have to give me something to call you other than Sandwich Man Nope

I would suggest Han, but it's already been taken. :P

Is that your second guess" ;)

NO!!!! Laurentia"

....did you just slap a -tia on the end of a perfectly reasonable Lauren to make that" And no

Maybe. Valentia"

I knew you wouldn't guess it! :D You owe me, Sandwich Man

You didn't give me any clues. Okay, ask me one question. Just one.

Tia wasn't a big enough clue" :D Okay

Tia is no clue at all.

Shush, I'm thinking of a question Are you ...

*Hums* *Waiting*

....animal, vegetable, or mineral" :P

That is a stupid question. Ask another.

I never claimed to be smart Fine Are you really a man, Sandwich Man"

Wait, let me check. YES!

LOL You say that like it's a surprise!

For you, not for me. :P

You're not the Yoda man banging my roommate, are you? :P

How should I know" I don't know who you are. I'm not banging anyone.

Join the club

There's a club' Where do I join" :D

You're the local, how do you not know where the No Sex Club is here"

I think I must be the president. :(

If you're the president, I'm the queen

I don't think it works that way. Besides, you just got here. You just need time to meet someone. It will happen.

I met you. But you're a sentient sandwich, apparently, no matter how much you're packing

That's right. I'm pastrami on rye.

With a pickle"

If you like. Where are you from"

I do like pickles Far away across the sea

Sweet or dill"

Both have their place and time

Europe"

Technically. Idiots voted out

English, then. You text English. Not a fan of Brexit, I take it.

Not really sure. The campaign was all lies, the vote was pretty much half and half, and now anyone who wasn't born in Britain is worried they're going to be deported How is that fair"

I don't know. We have our problems here, too. Is that why you're here" Because you're afraid you'll get deported"

I wish Families suck

Why ARE you here then" Looking to meet your Prince Charming"

I'd rather meet the frog He's got lower standards :)

Don't think much of yourself, do you?

It's been a rough year

Join the club.

Only if it has nails in it and I can use it to guard my door against anyone trying to take me back

Do you think that might happen"

I have a brother who doesn't know when to quit

Not sure what that means, sorry.

It's a long involved story Don't think I can really share it yet Sorry

You want to meet for coffee sometime"

You might need to give me directions But ....sure

I'm busy tomorrow. Er, today. How's the day after"

I don't foresee me getting a job before then, so that sounds good to me Where do you wanna meet"

Not sure where you are. Pick a place. I'll meet you there.

I only got into town today, uh, yesterday, remember" Pick somewhere that doesn't mind dogs

There's a coffee shop near the dog park on Sanchez Street. You can google directions.

That looks pretty cool. What time's best for you? Jobless wonder here has nothing but free time

Afternoon. How's 2"

2's good. Putting it in my diary How will I know which one is you? You've seen my dog, you'll know me.

I'll be the one with the 49ers cap.

And you'll be the only one wearing one there, will you?

Fair enough. Look for a guy wearing a US Navy tshirt.

Aye, aye, captain :D Sorry, now I'm imagining a sandwich dancing like Gene Kelly in Anchors Aweigh

Hope I don't disappoint you then. I gotta go. Gotta get some sleep.

No one can top the Sandwich Kelly in a sailor-suit Hope I helped with the boredom, anyway G'night, Sandwich Man

Goodnight, Tia.

;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :??": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin:

Tia Coslan

Date: 2017-08-22 10:45 EST
Wednesday

What is so fascinating about doing yoga with a dog" Morning, btw Did you sleep okay"

Not really. You" Good morning and brb

That depends - does good include being woken up by Yoda Man mistaking my room for my roommate's and being dragged out by an angry Solo" I've seen the horrors of Yoda's wang, and it will haunt me forever

Back, sorry. Hopefully, it will have no lasting effects.

LOL That's what she said this morning! Am I interrupting something"

No, just got out of rehab. Grabbing some coffee. Hang on.

Trying not to ask, but ....rehab" Solo just licked the phone. I think he likes you

Yeah, sorry. Oh, hi, Solo. Rehab as in rehabilitation. Long story.

Gotcha Gotta be better than being perved at in the park

Perved at' Where are you?

Let me check

*waiting*

Cool your jets, I have to find a sign Oddstad City Park

Thought mostly families hang out there.

There are a lot of kids, now you mention it But a couple of old blokes sat nearby when I was in downward dog and started muttering

Probably admiring the view. ;)

:-P Careful, I think I saw you flirting there

Hard to flirt when we haven't met yet, and I'm sure Solo will watch after you.

You were flirting I bet you're blushing Can a sandwich blush" It can apparently wear a hat, so yes

Cute, but I don't blush. I bet you do, though.

How much do you bet' :P

Doesn't seem a fair bet, since you can't prove it. Are you gonna prove it tomorrow"

Depends how flirty you get Or how big a prat I make of myself

I guess we'll have to wait and see. Not gonna chicken out, are you? I promise I don't have any warts.

I never chicken out I occasionally duck in, though

Translate please"

I can't, I confused myself Hey, at least you know you won't be the only one at a loss with my conversation

As long as your dog understands you. :)

I feed him, he pretends so I'll keep doing it :D

How do you know he's pretending to understand you if he's only pretending"

That kind of question makes my mind go bendy I do yoga to get a bendy body, not a bendy mind

I was just gonna ask what else on you goes bendy. So, you're in good shape, then"

You've caught me. I have a bendy banana in my pants that needs yoga to work properly Good enough to enjoy ice cream and pizza whenever I can :)

TMI. Are you asking me out for ice cream and pizza now"

I thought we were getting coffee"

We are! If we make it past coffee, we'll do ice cream and pizza next time.

Well, that takes the worry out of the first date ;) Don't panic! I'm not expecting sex Coffee's fine. :D

Well, that's a relief. :P

You'd have to give up the presidency if I was :P

If you was what"

Expecting sex

Listen, I gotta go. Can I text you later"

Sure. Take care, Sandwich Man!

Will I take all the mystery out of it if I tell you my name"

You're a Mystery Sandwich Man?

Have it your way. Later, Mystery Girl.

Only if it's bendy. 😘

:D

Tia Coslan

Date: 2017-08-22 10:51 EST
;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :?"": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin:

Hey, r u busy/

Just a sec Sorry, was drying off Ahem. SANDWICH MAN! Mystery loveliness personified. How are you, me old mucker"

LOL. You are very English, aren't you? Is your name really Tia"

Can't help it, it's my wild English charm Yes, I really do answer to Tia And yes, it IS in my actual name, too.

I'm Aaron.

Nice to meet you, Aaron. :) I'm Christiana - Tia.

Do you think this is weird" Us, talking this way, I mean" ... I guessed that!

You guessed Christia!

Close enough!

I guess it's a little unusual, but what?s wrong with unusual"

Nothing, I guess. I've just never gone on a blind date before.

I guess it is kind of like a blind date, isn't it" Would you like it not to be blind"

And take more of the mystery out of it" What do you want"

I'm not sure what you mean. Are you asking if I want a picture, or asking if I'm looking for a green card"

No, I mean. Would YOU like it not to be blind"

I don't know. Do YOU"

I can wait til tomorrow. Can you?

I can be patient. I can also babble for England when I'm nervous Fair warning.

You've been babbling since the first time you texted me. :P

Trust me, it's worse in person

At least, we won't have to worry about long awkward silences.

Unless I bite my tongue. :D

I think we should be honest with each other, don't you?

Why wouldn't we be?

Sorry, I misunderstood.

Oh!

I haven't done this in a while.

I meant LITERALLY bite my tongue I've done it before, it bled everywhere

Thanks for the warning!

So now you know I'm female, too talky, a dog-lover, yoga-doer, and accident-prone You may know more about me than my roommate

And English and your name is ChrisTIAna and you don't like Yoda.

I do like Yoda, I wasn't that keen on Yoda-Man

Does he actually look like Yoda" Your roommate must have strange tastes in men.

No, it really was a mask. He was wearing a tux and a Yoda Mask I think strange isn't enough to cover it

I'm not gonna ask.

Good, glad I'm not the only one who finds that weird

It's a little bit weird.

She wasn't in costume, either, before you ask Just him

So either she has a Yoda fetish or he's just weird. Or both.

In the first case, I should move In the second case, I should get a lock for my bedroom door

You're the one who is obsessed with Star Wars! Should I come dressed as Obi Wan"

Only if you mean sexy Episode 2 or 3 Obi-Wan Not so hot for Alec Guinness

Old Obi is probably old enough to be your grandfather.

Or, you know, dead I'm not that into necro

That, too. But then, so is Solo.

Harrison Ford is never going to not be sexy, in some way I really don't watch Star Wars just to drool over the fellas, I promise :D

Harrison Ford is probably old enough to be your grandfather, too!

Look at you being sneaky ....I just worked out what you're asking :) 1990

1985

May

August

4th

16th

I just missed it, huh' Happy Birthday, Sandwich Aaron

Thanks, Chatty Yoga Tia. :P

CYT" LOL So what did you do for your birthday" Wait, let me guess You had a sandwich themed party where everyone had to find their perfect filling That sounds much dirtier than I thought it would

LOL, no. I got together with a few friends and we had a few beers, but that's all.

Beers is good Although I have to say I am dreadfully disappointed with American beer

Maybe you just haven't had a good one yet. Sounds like a 2nd or 3rd date.

3rd Coffee first, then pizza and ice cream Then you can try and get me drunk on your weak beer

Tia Coslan

Date: 2017-08-22 10:56 EST
Pizza & ice cream don't really go together, but pizza & beer do.

Are we negotiating for the second date already? :D

Maybe we should wait to see how coffee goes.

That's probably best I'm kind of excited, actually

Tia, do you believe in fate"

I had my palm read once She said I was destined for greatness LOL I never really thought about Fate, though If Fate's real, that means I was meant to have a crap year

If Fate's real, you didn't text me by accident.

Which would you rather - happy accident, or destined annoyance"

I guess we'll find out. :)

Guess we will. :D Should I shave"

"

Um ....I don't have a beard

Whew, I was worried there, because that's kind of a deal breaker :P What about me"

Should you shave" I don't know, are you planning on wearing a skirt"

Not my legs, silly girl!

LOL How long have you been growing your armpit hair"

Since I was 14 or so, I think"

Seems a shame to shave after putting in so much time Or is that not what we're talking about"

I'll be blunt. Do you prefer your men cleanshaven or scruffy"

I prefer my men to be confident enough not to worry about whether or not a little scruff is going to make me change my mind about having coffee with them It's your face I don't mind, either way

You're the one who brought it up.

All right, here's a question for you Do you prefer skirts, dresses, or jeans"

I prefer a woman who is confident enough not to worry about whether or not what she's wearing is going to change my mind about having coffee with her. :P

Smarty-pants :P

I'll take that as a compliment. :)

That's the ticket Text me if you can't sleep, okay"

I never sleep very well.

I'll keep you company if you need it

I don't want to bother you, just because I have problems sleeping.

Wouldn't offer if it was a bother

You may regret saying that.

Not any more than you may regret ever engaging in conversation with the crazy dog lady that is me :)

Thanks for the offer.

The offer stands, tonight and any night I need to do the mysterious things all women do before a date

I wouldn't want to interrupt that! :)

:p

I guess this is goodnight for now, then.

For now :) Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow

I just hope I don't disappoint you.

Remember, I'd rather meet the frog than the prince 😘

How about a Frog Prince" :D

Depends - do you have golden balls"

I don't know. Do you want to check for me" ;)

Are you going to cough on command, too" Wait, that's for hernias This suddenly went weird Not that I'm not weird already, we did establish that

LOL. Are you a doctor"

LOL yourself! I can't even put a bandaid on right

Oh, that's right. You're unemployed. :(

Not for long, I hope Have to go job hunting, I guess

Would you be worried to know that's something we both have in common"

Why should it worry me" There's plenty of reasons why someone doesn't have a job And you said you were in rehab, so I'm guessing injury

You're pretty perceptive for someone who hasn't even met me yet. Are you sure you're not psychic"

Little bit of experience Sorry if I poked a sore spot

Hard to poke someone over the phone.

I don't know what to say now You tell me off when I apologise

You apologize too much. How about just saying goodnight"

Goodnight, Sandwich Aaron 😘

Goodnight, Gracie. :D

:P Smarty pants

Tia Coslan

Date: 2017-08-22 10:59 EST
;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :?"": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin:

Anybody there"

Woof

That was quick. Did I wake you?

Nope My roommate brought someone else home, and he's making noises like a frightened whale

Maybe you should move in with me. OMG, I can't believe I just typed that!

Is it bad that I'm seriously considering it" :D

I think maybe you should meet me first. :P

I'm looking forward to it Are you?

Little nervous.

Nervous isn't necessarily a bad thing like a little thrill, you know"

How about terrified" :?"":

I promise I will not let Solo nuzzle you in public

He looks more like a Chewy to me.

Not furry or big enough Sadly, he's more like a bald ewok

Too big for an Ewok. I can't believe we're actually having this conversation.

LOL How big do you think he is" What conversation were you expecting" Should I interpret your dreams"

Looks pretty big in his picture.

He's not huge He's hard to describe

Guess I'll find out tomorrow. Er, later today. I should let you get your beauty sleep.

You okay"

I don't know.

Kind of wishing I could hug you right now I give very good hugs, I'm told Makes up for the never ending chat

I'll be okay. I have tomorrow to look forward to.

I'll save it for later, then Sweet dreams, Aaron

Sweet dreams, Tia.

;-) :razz: :mad: :cool: :?"": :eek: :sad: :smile: :grin: