Topic: Feelings and Hopes

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:43 EST
Though he usually rose with the sun, the morning after a full moon Emrys tended to sleep longer. With the sun well up in the sky and the day advancing toward noon, he stayed in front of the fire, sleeping off the last after-effects of his defective shift the night before. But slowly consciousness made itself known, and he yawned, stretching a little against the warm fur beneath him. And abruptly froze when he realized that something was very different this morning.

His eyes wandered down, to where a familiarly feminine arm was wrapped about his bare waist, following the line of that arm upward to find Marissa curled to his back. Despite himself, despite the shyness and uncertainty that came with being quite so close to her in quite such a vulnerable state ....he smiled, relaxing against the fur once again. One hand smoothed over her wrist to tangle his fingers with hers, quite content to wait for her to wake up.

Upon later reflection, it might have seemed silly that the two of them were curled up on a pelt in front of the fire, when there was a perfectly comfortable bed nearby, but Emrys had practically collapsed from exhaustion where he was the night before, and wanting to remain close, Marissa had decided to curl up beside him, as contentedly as a cat. It hadn't taken long before she, too, had fallen asleep, overcome with exhaustion that was more emotional than physical. Now that the full moon had waned, the danger was over, and they could spend the next few weeks sorting out a better solution to his problem. She hadn't bothered to change her clothes, settling beside him in the same jeans and sweater she'd worn the night before, her face peaceful in repose, framed by the warmth of her brown hair.

For Emrys, it was a novelty that would not soon wear off, to awaken beside the woman he loved. To know that she had curled up beside him, holding him, while he slept was a gift he wasn't sure she knew the value of. The last person to sleep beside him had been his sister, and though her fate still haunted him, he knew that Marissa was safe for at least another twenty days or so.

That was the question she'd wanted to ask him the previous night - what made her so different from his sister" But she had failed to ask, afraid of hurting him with the question, or perhaps she was just afraid of the answer. Either way, she thought she would learn the truth soon enough. She was slow in waking, as most cats were, stretching her limbs before realizing she wasn't alone, and she remembered what had happened the night before - and what hadn't happened. Her eyes slid open, unsure if he was already awake, though she felt his caress and she wondered how long he'd been watching her. "I-I'm sorry," she stammered, afraid he might be angry with her for invading his personal space. She hadn't meant to fall asleep, just to lie there a little while and savor his warmth.

"What was that you keeping saying about apologizing?" he asked in a smiling tone, twisting a little so she could see that the tone matched the warm smile on his face. He was completely healed, back to his usual self, and he had woken up with a very special gift wrapped around him. Why wouldn't he be smiling" "Did you sleep well, kitten?"

She smiled a little sheepishly as he turned the tables on her at her apology, blushing a little as she realized just how naked he was beneath that blanket. Somehow, it hadn't seemed to matter before, when he was in danger and hurt, but now that daylight had arrived, it became all too apparent. She considered his question a moment, surprised to find that she had, indeed, slept well, better than she'd slept in days, in fact. "Yes, and you?" she asked a little shyly.

It seemed as though he was realizing his nudity at the same time she was, if the gentle shift to make sure the blanket was still over his waist and legs was anything to go by. He cleared his throat quietly, a faint flush of his own coloring his skin as he adjusted himself to lie on his back beside her, his eyes devouring every inch of her face fresh from sleep. "I did," he nodded warmly. "Better than I have for a long time, in fact. Must have been the company."

"You don't need to sleep on the floor, Emrys," she told him, probably not for the first or last time. She felt strangely nervous this morning, on edge, as if something hung between them. Would it happen today' Would he make her his, or would their mutual fear and shyness rule the day' She lifted a hand to touch him, then thought better of it, her shyness getting the better of her. For a woman who claimed to have loved and lost before, she seemed inordinately shy, but there was a reason for that. "I-I should make breakfast. You need to eat."

"Not anymore, perhaps," he agreed gently, leaning over to kiss the tip of her nose. Her shyness was more than his, it seemed, but she had experience here where he did not. Perhaps his innocence would be more of a boon than a burden. As she changed the subject, Emrys smiled, glancing at the dried blood still decorating his hands. "I should wash up a little," he admitted. "And clothes might be a good idea. I seem to spend a lot of time around you naked in nothing but a towel."

Perhaps there would come a day when they'd be comfortable with each other's nudity, but that going to be today. She didn't like the idea of him sleeping on the floor, like a dog. He deserved better, and now that they had declared their love for each other, there didn't seem to be much point. She had made the first move, taking to his bed before he took to hers. She smiled shyly again as he touched his nose to hers, reaching to take hold of one hand. "Let me see your hands," she instructed, unwilling to let him go until she was sure he was well enough to be on his own.

"Yes, love." Smiling, he let her take his hands to inspect them. In the wake of the full moon, it seemed as though his accelerated healing had accelerated even more - the missing fingernails had grown back, the shredded flesh was completely healed once again. All that remained were the flecks of dried blood that needed to be washed off.

Anyone else might have been amazed at the rapidity of his healing, but she was not so much different from him, after all. She turned his hands over to examine his palms, letting his right hand go, to trace a finger along the lifeline of his left hand that curved around his thumb. She didn't know what the lines meant exactly, but she was glad the line was strong and unbroken. Somehow this simple, innocent touch seemed even more intimate than a kiss. The fact that he'd called her love didn't escape her notice, but she said nothing of it just yet, her heart singing to hear him say it.

He watched her face as she examined his hand, the sensation of her fingertips over his skin doing interesting things to him. The blanket wasn't going to keep one of those things a secret for long, and yet, he wasn't worried about her discovering that obvious sign of his desire for her. Her fear of loving and being loved was plain. Emrys could only hope that he could help her past it as the days and weeks went by. "You are the most beautiful soul I have ever known," he murmured to her, unwilling to break the quiet stillness around them.

She arched a brow as she turned her face to him at his unexpected remark. Her first reaction was to deny it, to tell him he hardly knew her, and that once he did know her, he might think differently, but somehow, she knew anything she said wouldn't matter, wouldn't change his mind. He saw her through the eyes of love, just as she saw him. She knew his most guarded secret and yet, she still loved him. If he knew hers, would he feel the same" She let go of his hand, only so that she could touch his face, the shadow of a beard already starting, but it only made him more rugged and handsome in her eyes. "You need to eat," she reminded him again. They both did, in fact, though she was tempted to stay there beside him as long as the day would allow.

"So do you," he countered, almost playful. He wanted to touch her the way she was touching him, but he was painfully aware of the dried blood on his hands. "Thank you, for staying with me last night," he said quietly. It wasn't simply a thank you for her presence during his shift, or her help in the aftermath. He was thanking her for choosing to curl up beside him; for being brave enough to be in that vulnerable state at his side.

"I didn't do it for you," she blurted with blunt honesty. She understood how he might think she had done it for him - to protect him, to keep him warm - but in truth, she had done it for herself. She had succumbed to her desire to be near him, sharing his warmth, his closeness. There was too much that was unsaid between them, too much she wanted to say, but sometimes words failed. They had both been alone for too long, and she saw no reason why they needed to be alone any longer. She smiled, lowering her lashes almost shyly. "Go take a bath before you start stinking again," she teased him, giving him a playful shove.

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:43 EST
He laughed, rolling his eyes. "Fine, I'm going," he conceded in amusement, gathering the blanket around his waist as he struggled up onto his feet. "You and your clean fetish ..." Flashing her a smile and a wink, he caught up a pair of pants on his way to the bathroom, determined to at least be presentable when he came back out.

She only laughed, neither denying or confirming his remark. She did not deny she was part cat, and cats had a habit of being fastidiously clean, but that wasn't why she insisted on him bathing. She had witnessed what he'd gone through the previous night, and healed or no, it would do him good to wash the remnants of the night from him and start fresh. "Poor you," she teased further, watching as he made his way to the bathroom, allowing her to admire the view.

And what a view, especially when he started to sway his hips for her viewing pleasure, kicking up one heel before he disappeared into the bathroom.

The second the door closed, there was a very soft knock on the main door of the cabin, and it opened quietly to reveal Mara holding a covered dish. She crept into the kitchen, setting it down to briefly hug Marissa tightly.

"I made you breakfast," she whispered. "It's still warm. Got to go, Duncan won't wait too long before trying to get in here too." She kissed Marissa's cheek affectionately. "See you later!" And back out she went, closing the door just as quietly behind herself. It was debatable as to how long she'd been waiting out there, but the food was still hot. Hopefully it hadn't been too long.

To say the look on Marissa's face was one of utter surprise at Mara's unexpected arrival was a bit of an understatement. It wasn't easy to sneak up on a cat, but somehow Mara had managed it, and Marissa wondered how long she had been waiting and how much she had heard. Blushing brightly, she hardly had time to mutter her thanks and return the hug before Mara was retreating again, and Marissa was standing there looking astonished and uncertain. It appeared she wouldn't have to make breakfast, after all, and she turned from the door where Mara had disappeared to the bathroom where Emrys was readying for a bath, as if debating what to do.

"Marissa?" Emrys called to her from the bathroom. "Did I just miss someone coming in?" After all, his hearing was just as acute as hers, even if he was playing with water right now. "Ouch ....ow!" He hissed in pain, audibly jerking back from the water flowing out of the faucet. "The hot keeps getting hotter. Help!"

His voice drew her out of her thoughts, blinking as he seemed to be having a problem with the faucet again, and she sighed. "Turn it the other way!" she called, as she stirred from her reverie to put Mara's offering into the oven to keep warm while she went to Emrys' rescue.

"I hurt my hand," he informed her mournfully. Newly healed skin was generally tender for a few hours afterward, and he was no exception. However, he had just put his newly healed fingers under a stream of close to boiling water, and was now standing absolutely buck naked in the middle of the bathroom, holding his sore hand and pouting like a child.

She sighed again, at the sound of his voice, feeling like a mother tending to a child. How had he managed to survive all these years on his own if he couldn't even manage to take a bath without her help" She opened the bathroom door, expecting him to be immersed in the water by now, or at least to have had the good sense to have wrapped a towel around his waist. "Good goddess, Emrys!" she exclaimed as her gaze raked over his very naked form, grabbing a towel and throwing it at him. "I don't know how I'm supposed to get anything done when you keep distracting me."

He glanced down at himself, blushing as she threw the towel at him. "Sorry." He didn't look sorry, though, abandoning his sore hand to curl his arm around her waist as a slow grin appeared on his face. "Are you going to wash me, too?" he asked, very nearly managing to pull off looking innocent, despite the rather obviously not innocent prod from his nethers.

She audibly gasped as he pulled her close, unable to miss the prodding from his nether region and the lewd grin on his face. "You tricked me!" she accused him, smacking a hand at his bare shoulder, though she made very little effort to wiggle out of his grasp. She wondered now if he'd really burned his hand or if that had been part of the ruse. "If you wanted me in here with you, why didn't you just ask?"

"Little bit, yes," he admitted openly, holding his finger and thumb a small way apart just to make it clear how little he had tricked her. "I did put my hand under the hot water." He grinned, leaning down to gently kiss her. "Would you have come in if I'd just asked you to?" he countered softly.

She tipped her head at him, eyeing him suspiciously and snatching his hand to see if he was really telling the truth. "I'm here, aren't I?" she replied, as if that question really needed asking.

Emrys chuckled quietly. "I'll remember that next time, then," he assured her, letting her inspect his hand once again. It was clean now, and while, yes, it was a little more reddened than it should be, there was no harm done. "Are you mad at me?" he asked her, dipping his head to tentatively nibble at her neck. For all that he had no experience, part of him was very much at one with his animal instincts, and he was listening to them today.

"I should be, but as it happens, Mara brought breakfast," she told him, tipping her head to allow him better access, without even thinking about it. He was certainly distracting, that much was certain, even as she seemed to be musing over his hand. She seemed to be debating again, her carnal side at odds with her fears.

Encouraged, Emrys drew his other arm about her waist, gathering her closer as he grew in confidence. He wasn't entirely sure what he was doing, but she seemed to be enjoying it. Well, she wasn't squirming to get away, anyway. A thought occurred to him, and he raised his head, looking into her eyes. "I have a suggestion."

She had a few thoughts of her own, but she had yet to share them. She had laid awake at night thinking of this moment, of how it might go between them. Though some of her alter egos had loved before, few of them had ever been with a man, and despite the memories that weren't her own, this Marissa was as much a virgin as Emrys. "What's that?" she asked, meeting his gaze.

Gently brushing the tip of his nose against hers, Emrys' smile softened, understanding her reluctance came from nearly the same place as his nervousness did. "Why don't we take this a step at a time?" he suggested hopefully. "Bathe with me. No pressure from either of us to do everything at once. I want you to be comfortable with me, kitten. I want to be comfortable with you."

"Bathe with you," she echoed, sounding just a little doubtful. Was he really that naive or was he just trying to take things slow" Did he really think either of them was going to be able to hold themselves back once that line had been crossed" "I was ready to let the wolf have me last night, do you know that' I thought ..." She broke off, chewing at her lip, not daring to avert her gaze. It was either look him in the face or chance looking at something else that stirred feelings in her she'd never known before. "I've told you before. I'm not afraid of you, Emrys." What was she afraid of then"

"I'm a little afraid," he admitted, his foot twitching nervously as they spoke softly together. "I've never been with a woman, Marissa. I don't know what to do, not really, and I want you to enjoy it. So ....moving slowly might give me a fighting chance to please you by learning as we go?"

"Oh, for the love of ..." She sighed, not angry with him, but frustrated by the situation. Wolf or no, the cat inside her wanted him. Or maybe it wasn't the cat at all. Maybe it was something else - maybe the girl was at last ready to become a woman, in every sense of the word. Maybe it was time she showed him what she was really capable of. She drew his hand closer, but instead of brushing a kiss there, she slid her tongue against his flesh, not only helping him to heal but marking him as her own.

"What?" he protested, worried by her frustration. "What did I ..." But he trailed off as her tongue laved over his skin, swallowing hard as those butterflies in his stomach decided to make something else sit up and really take notice. "O-okay ..." Screw the bath, it seemed, and he was more than happy to follow her lead. For the first time, he abandoned all pretense of being a gentleman, pulling her tightly to him as his lips found hers, starving for something he knew only she could give him. His hands slid down over her back, cupping the pert roundness of her backside to lift her up.

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:44 EST
Her eyes widened as he seemed to take that as permission to do what he pleased, though she made no protest against his lips. Still, it wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind, and it certainly wasn't how she'd imagined it in her head. Somehow she managed to break away from his kiss, breathless from the urgency of it, forcing herself to gentle her voice so that he didn't misunderstand. "Emrys, put me down," she told him gently, as she pushed a hand against his chest.

The moment she pushed against his chest, he drew back, putting her down with wide, worried eyes. "I'm sorry," he apologized hurriedly, afraid that he had somehow hurt her or upset her with his eagerness. "I didn't ....what did I do wrong" I don't want to make it bad for you."

"You didn't do anything wrong," she assured him, with a caress of his cheek. "Just ....wait here." For a man who'd wanted to go slow, he certainly seemed to be rushing things. "I'm going to run a bath for the both of us," she told him, as if giving him warning. Maybe if she went slow and explained what she was about, he would understand.

He looked into her eyes, reassured that she didn't seem hurt or angry. "All right," he agreed, nodding as she touched his cheek. "So ....going slowly, not rushing. Right?" He reached out for the towel, rather embarrassed by the prominent hello waving at her from below his waistline.

"Somewhere in the middle, I think," she replied, with a sly smile of her own, as she leaned over to turn on the faucet, running her fingers under the water to test the temperature. "See" Right for cold, left for hot," she told him. It was at times like these that his innocence and even ignorance of her world struck her most. He really was like a child in some ways, but then so was she.

"Oh." He drawled the word out, leaning over to watch as she demonstrated how to predict what temperature the water would come out as. "I still don't quite understand bathrooms, you know," he admitted. "The ....toy-let makes sense, but it seems very unhygienic to have it indoors."

She laughed, the debate about indoor plumbing cooling the passion between them if only briefly. "Would you prefer to piss in a bush and bathe in a stream?" she asked, not really expecting an answer. Satisfied that the temperature was fine, while the water filled the tub, steaming but not so hot it would burn, she turned to face him again, her voice gentle but unyielding. "Get in."

"You really are very blunt, aren't you?" he chuckled, rolling his eyes at her as she straightened. His brows rose as she gave him an order, lips twitching into a nervous smile as the towel came off yet again. "Yes, ma'am." If he'd known how to, he would have saluted, instead shuffling over to the bath to ease himself into the steaming water. He sat there expectantly, looking up at her with hope in his eyes. "Is this where you get in, too?"

"Would you prefer I be coy?" she asked. She could go either way really, as aloof as a cat or as tender as a woman. It all depended on him really, and his mouth was his worst enemy, it seemed. She didn't miss that some part of him was saluting anyway, and she dragged her eyes away to give him some small bit of privacy while he fit himself into the bath. "Do you want me to?" she asked, turning the question back around on him.

"Don't go." The words came out in a blunt burst, one hand reaching out as though to catch her before she could get away. "I realize this isn't exactly romantic, but ....I really would like to do this with you. If you want to."

She wasn't sure what it was about him that was getting under her skin, annoying her a little, even. Was this what sexual tension felt like" Well, there were only two ways to resolve that, and she had already decided she wouldn't walk away. What would her mother have done, and perhaps more importantly, why did that matter" She realized in that moment that she was trying to be brave and in doing so had been a little more forceful than she'd intended. She didn't want to make him do anything he didn't want, but the tension inside her was coiled so tightly, it was either this or surrender to the tiger and prowl the woods. "Is that what you think I want' Romance?" she asked, turning the statement back around on him again, angry and not really understanding why.

Her sudden anger flipped a switch inside Emrys she hadn't managed to touch before. His jaw set, anger of his own making his expression suddenly far less approachable than it had ever been before. In silence, he rose from the water, covering himself with a towel. "I have told you I do not know what to do, or how to do it," he managed, his voice stiff with hurt anger of his own. "Everything I do manage to do seems to be wrong, or makes you angry for no apparent reason. You never explain why you react the way you do, or tell me what I have done wrong. I love you, Marissa. But I won't let you emasculate me with unreasoning anger when I have bared myself to you completely." He bent to pull on his pants. "I'll go and check on my traps. Perhaps, when I get back, you'll be prepared to talk to me, rather than snap whenever I do or say something even slightly wrong."

Of everything he could have done or said in that moment, the last thing she expected was his anger, but then, she supposed she deserved it. After all, he had tried to go both fast and slow and neither seemed to have sat well with her, though she wasn't sure why. Maybe it wasn't even her that was causing her to react this way but one of the others. What would he say when he knew that'

He had told her she didn't need to tell him anything, and yet, here he was telling her to talk to him. Why were they so at odds with each other when they both wanted the same thing" Her eyes burned with tears, her heart heavy with guilt and remorse. All she'd wanted to do was help him. How had it turned into an argument' "There was someone once who tried to romance me," she started, going straight to the heart of the matter. "But it-it doesn't matter now. He's not you, and you're not him. And ....I only wanted to ..." She trailed off, ashamed of herself and of the way she'd behaved. She wouldn't much blame him for leaving, though she wished he wouldn't. Drawing in a slow breath, Emrys turned to face her, laying his hands gently on her arms as he looked into her eyes. "I'm not asking you to tell me anything," he told her. "But if you want me to understand, you have to tell me something. Just not right now." Holding her gaze, he swallowed hard. "I need you to understand that telling you I love you makes me feel vulnerable. Being naked in front of you, letting you see how much I want you, makes me feel vulnerable. I don't say the right things, and that makes me feel stupid. And while I was sitting there, vulnerable and stupid, you chose to snap at me, which made me feel attacked." He sighed carefully, needing her to understand. "I am going to come back," he promised her. "I won't be more than an hour. But right now" I'm hurt and I'm angry and I don't want to blame you for it. So I'm going for a walk, and I will come back calmer. I will come back, Marissa."

Why did he have to mention romance, of all things, when all she'd wanted to do was make love to him' He was talking about being vulnerable. How did he think she felt, opening her heart to him, ready to give him everything she was, all of herself" Why couldn't he understand that she didn't want romance" She just wanted him. But there was no point in explaining now. He had made up his mind and there was no changing it. She only nodded her head, struggling not to burst into tears like some errant child being scolded by a parent. Was this what she'd made him feel like" If so, she hadn't meant to. "I'm sorry," she whispered, not trusting herself to say anything more.

"No, Marissa." He cupped his hand to her cheek, raising her eyes to his once again. "Don't be sorry. You feel the way you feel, and there is nothing wrong with feeling it. I don't mean to upset you. We aren't communicating, and we need to. We will, when we're both calmer." He leaned in, kissing her forehead softly. "I won't be long." Stepping away, he slipped from the bathroom to collect his shirt, boots, and coat, and left the cabin, needing to walk off the agitation before trying to talk further.

The tears were genuine, not forced to manipulate or make him feel guilty. She truly felt in that moment like her heart was breaking and she knew she had no one to blame but herself. She had wanted to love him and, in doing so, had somehow only managed to push him away, and now he was leaving. Oh, he said he was coming back, but she'd heard that before. Still, she needed to believe him to trust him, and not judge him by the actions of others who'd hurt her in the past. Would things ever be the same between them now? What was it exactly that she wanted from him' She made no move to stop him, nor did she follow. She only stood there, watching helplessly as he walked away.

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:45 EST
He was only gone for an hour, just as he had promised. The run through the woods had allowed him to work off the agitation raised by their little conflict, and even better, he had found a couple of rabbits in his traps. So when he returned, he was almost back to his old self, swinging his bounty back and forth by their ears as he strode back to the cabin. Nervous of what he might find inside, he paused to hang the rabbits on the porch, knocking on the door. "Marissa?"

There was no need to knock, but no answer either. The door was open, unlocked, the oven still keeping the breakfast Mara had brought warm. Nothing else seemed changed. It had only been an hour, after all. While he had been working off his agitation, she had been brooding, terrified she'd driven him away, despite his promise to return. She'd been brave the night before during his long ordeal, but it seemed that courage had deserted her now. To her credit, she hadn't turned, though the pull from the tiger had been strong. She only sat quietly near the fire, his pelt clutched tightly in her arms, lost in thought and memory while she awaited his return.

Stepping inside, Emrys felt his heart sink as he spied her where she sat. On one hand, it might have been touching that she was holding his pelt, but on the other, she was clutching it very tightly, as though it was the only part of him left to her. Didn't she believe a word he said" Aching for having upset her, he shucked off his boots and coat, moving to gather her into his arms. "I said I would come back," he reminded her, wrapping her up in his embrace. "I always keep my word."

Though fear had gripped her heart, some part of her had believed him. She wasn't sure what she would have done otherwise. Lose herself to the tiger forever, perhaps. The tiger who didn't care, who lived only to survive. She envied the tiger sometimes. Was it any wonder he had met the tiger first' Something broke in her as he gathered her to him - guilt, anguish, love, hope, relief all wrapped up together - and she clung to him, shaking with fear and sobbing with relief that was too strong a reaction for what had just happened. She was like a child in that moment - a lost and lonely child trapped in the body of a woman who only wanted to love and be loved in return.

"All right ....shhh, now ..." He held her close as she clung to him, rocking her gently back and forth, his lips brushing kisses to her hair. He was prepared to hold her for as long as it took, not understanding why she had reacted so strongly to such a small misunderstanding. She felt everything so deeply ....was it any wonder she reacted in such an extreme manner to just about anything" "I'm here, kitten. I love you."

She drew comfort from his embrace, from the soothing sound of his voice, tangling her fingers in the cloth of his shirt and gripping it tightly, as if she never wanted to let go. There were reasons she felt everything so deeply, just as there were reasons behind what had made him who he was. As different as they were, they were also much the same. Both of them had been alone too long, lost and lonely. Both of them were wild things at heart, wandering and searching for something to fill the emptiness inside them. Now that they had found each other, she knew they needed to put the past behind them and start fresh, but she wasn't sure how to begin.

"I'm sorry," she whispered once again, her voice raspy with tears. There was an unsaid I love you in those words of apology, though she didn't feel worthy enough of his love to say it just yet.

"You're apologizing again," he murmured to her, his lips soft against her hair. "Calm down, kitten. I'm here." He'd thought that not shouting at her, that leaving the cabin to calm down, had been the appropriate response to his own feelings, but now he wasn't so sure. Had he broken her so badly just by being honest with her" "Come on." Gently, he rose to his feet, drawing her up with him, keeping one arm around her as he went through the motions of making her a cup of coffee. "What did I tell you yesterday' That no matter what happens, I love you. A misunderstanding is not going to change that."

"No," she protested quietly as he pulled her to her feet. She wasn't denying or rejecting his love, but there was something she needed to tell him - something so simple and yet it might help him understand how they weren't so very different, after all. She let go of his shirt so that she could cup his face in her hands, searching his eyes, memorizing every inch of his face. "I need you to know ....I don't know how to be with someone, Emrys. I'm trying, but ..." She drew a slow, ragged breath, in an effort to calm her own jangled nerves. "I love you so much," she whispered again. "It scares me."

He paused as she cradled his face, looping both arms about her waist as she whispered to him. "It's like having your heart outside your body," he whispered back to her. "Wanting to protect it and keep it safe, even though you've given it to someone else to look after." See, he did understand to a certain extent. "It's frightening, kitten, especially for us. We've been alone for a long time. It will take time for us to learn how to be with each other."

He bent his forehead to hers, stroking his fingers against her back. "No more trying to make things happen," he promised her. "That's what I was trying to do, and it made everything awkward. That's my fault, and I accept that. Doing what comes naturally, that should work for us."

His confession surprised her, as it matched the one she had yet to say, nearly word for word. "I was, too," she admitted quietly, swallowing another lump of tears. She felt emotionally wrung out with worry and guilt and fear, but now that they'd both said it, she felt a flood of relief, knowing it wasn't just her. "I want to be with you, Emrys, in every sense of the word, but I want it to happen on its own."

"Then it will happen on its own," he agreed with her. "And since I have difficulty controlling myself when I'm naked, no more wandering around in just a towel." He flashed her a fond smile, closing the gap between them to kiss her tenderly. "Be calm, kitten. I came back. I'll always come back."

"I'd wait for you forever," she whispered back, touching a kiss to his lips, salty as it was, and tracing his cheek with her fingertips. She giggled a little to find his face already stubbled with growth, but she withheld the teasing comment that popped into her head. No more teasing or scolding or telling him what to do. He wasn't a child; he was a man, and as such, he deserved her respect and her understanding, though she doubted she'd be able to bite her tongue if he tracked mud all over her floor.

"You won't have to wait that long," he promised, nuzzling to her affectionately. "Now ....drink your coffee, and I think it's probably time I attempted to cook something, don't you? You do all the cooking, maybe I should try it."

"Mara brought something for breakfast," she told him, sniffling from all the crying, but making no move to break away from him. Or at least, she assumed it was for breakfast; she hadn't really given it a good look yet.

He blinked in surprise. "Mara was here?" That showed how observant he was when he was under a safe roof. Releasing her gently, he handed her the cup of coffee he had made, stroking his fingers against her cheek with absentminded affection.

"Only long enough to drop something off. I think ....I think she was waiting outside for a while, until the time was right," she told him, taking the cup from him at last, grateful for its invigorating warmth. She lifted her head briefly, as if catching the scent of something she hadn't noticed before. "Your traps ....Did you catch anything?"

"Couple of rabbits," he told her, raising his brows as though this was particularly exciting. "They're hanging on the porch - I'll skin them later, and we can do something with the flesh. I, uh ....I was going to collect a few furs and, uh ....Well, if you don't mind, I thought I might line that red cloak of yours. Must get chilly in winter, only the one layer."

"Oh," she replied, obviously surprised by his suggestion. No one had ever offered to do something so practical and yet so considerate for her before - at least, no one who wasn't family. "I suppose it does. I haven't given it much thought. I-I don't usually live here year round. I have a place in the city, but ..." There was that frown again that always accompanied a but.

"It doesn't have to be rabbit fur," he offered helpfully. "If I'm not sleeping on the bear pelt any longer, I could use that instead, if you would rather. Although it is a bit whiffy ..." He let out a quiet yip of triumph, having located the dish Mara had left for them. Uncovering the contents revealed a meal he'd never had before; kedgeree. He sniffed it close to, curious. "Eggs, haddock, rice ....is that cumin and coriander?"

"You don't need to sleep on the bear pelt anymore," she confirmed, taking another sip of the coffee before moving over to take a peek at the contents of her oven. "Oh, kedgeree. It's an Indian dish, I think," she mused, unsure of its origins exactly. "Are you hungry?" she asked, lifting her brows at him curiously, even as her own stomach grumbled in reply.

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:46 EST
"A what dish?" He turned the familiar bemused smile onto her when she mentioned anything that was far outside his frame of reference. They were both used to these moments now. "It smells good." Apparently his stomach agreed with him, if the rumble from that region was anything to go by. Emrys glanced down at his own stomach, a little embarrassed by the sound. "I might be hungry," he admitted with a grin. "You?"

"Indian," she repeated, followed by a chuckle. "Never mind," she said, remembering he had little if any knowledge of Earth and to a certain degree, even Rhy'Din. The only real question now was who was going to serve who. "Starved," she admitted, responding to his question with a grin. They hadn't eaten since before the full moon, and somehow it seemed like a long time ago.

He considered the dish for a moment as he pulled it out of the oven. "Want to share?" he suggested cheerfully. "Only one thing to wash up then." Though Emrys might not have been the most domesticated of men, he had already discovered a vehement hatred of certain chores, including washing dishes and, for some reason, mopping.

It wasn't what her stricter sense of order and cleanliness would have desired, but she was willing to compromise. Maybe that's what this whole thing was all about really - learning how to communicate and understand each other and compromise. "All right," she agreed. "One fork or two?"

"Well, one each is probably a good idea," he chuckled. "I don't think I'm well trained enough to share a fork as well." At least he was honest about his lack of social niceties, and perhaps Marissa needed to be a little less strict with herself and the world in general. Emrys nudged her gently, an inviting smile on his face. "On the pelt in front of the fire?" he suggested impishly. "I do solemnly promise not to play with my food."

Even that was a compromise, a small frown on her face as she looked to the pelt in front of the fire, but why not' She already reeked of the thing having spent the better part of the night there. "You can play with your food all you want when it's alive," she told him. When it was already dead, well, there didn't seem much point. "Coffee or tea?" she asked, already knowing his preference.

He smiled, delighted that she was happy to compromise this far but making a mental note not to push his luck any further. "I prefer tea," he admitted, "but I'll drink coffee." He was slowly coming to appreciate caffeine, but it was a long process.

"Tea will take longer," she informed him, as she'd have to put the kettle on and whatnot, when the coffee was already sitting in the pot ready to be poured. She remembered how he liked it and prepared it that way, warming her own with a refill. "Forks are in the cupboard there," she told him, pointing toward a drawer not far from where he stood.

Setting the dish down on the surface briefly, he pulled open the drawer to locate the forks, picking the dish up again before it could do any heat damage to the surface. "Shall we then, kitten?"

She was half-tempted to hang a nickname on him, but she couldn't think of any that didn't sound insulting. "After you," she told him simply, following him toward the hearth with a cup of coffee in each hand.

Once settled, she exchanged the cup of coffee for one of the forks, taking it upon herself to dig into the meal first. While it wouldn't have been her first choice for breakfast, it was hearty and tasty enough to satisfy both her hunger and her palate. "I'm going to have to go into the city sometime soon."

Emrys watched her as she took the first bite - not because he was suspicious of Mara's cooking, but because he had developed a habit of waiting to make sure Marissa was actually eating before he started to. Taking a huge mouthful himself, he chewed, blinking in surprise at the unexpectedly spicy flavor to what he had expected to be smoother. Coughing, he sipped his coffee, swallowing before he responded. "Do, uh, do you want me to go with you?" he asked curiously. He'd never actually been into the city, though he'd skirted the walls a few times.

"Do you want to?" she asked, turning the question back around on him again, smiling a little at his reaction to his breakfast. "Sorry, I should have warned you. It's a little spicy." She took another bite or two before washing it down with a sip of coffee. Apparently, she was a little more tolerant of spicy food than was he. "I have a place in the city, and ..." She trailed off again, wondering if it was too soon to "take him home to meet mother".

Taking a smaller bite this time, Emrys managed to handle the spice a little better, pleased in his own way that she was smiling once again. "I've never been into the city," he affirmed thoughtfully. "Is it safe, for me" I mean, obviously not at the full moon, but ....at normal times."

She wondered if she shouldn't take him to visit Brambles first, though she wasn't sure what they'd think of him there. "It's safe," she replied, though that depended on who or what you ran into when you were there. There were still a lot of things that needed sorting if they were going to be together, but she didn't want to force him into anything he didn't want to be a part of. "It might seem a bit strange at first," she warned, sighing a moment as she realized she was beating around the bush again, when they'd just agreed to honest communication. "Are you happy here, Emrys" Here, at the cabin, I mean." They'd spent the better part of the last few weeks trying to make the cellar secure, but they'd never really come to any agreement regarding where they'd go from here, and it seemed now was as good a time as any.

Still happily chewing, he paused, doing her the courtesy of thinking about the question before trying to answer it. "It's home," he said simply, lowering his fork as he considered that. "I've never had a home, but ....Marissa, I don't think it's the cabin that's home. I think it's you. Just being near you gives me a sense of ease I've never had before." His lips curved in a shy, lopsided smile as he looked at her. "I could do with finding some kind of work to turn my hands to, though. We've been busy enough, these last few weeks, but that won't last. I'm used to spending all day, everyday, just surviving. I need to find something productive to do with myself."

"Yes, I know," she replied with a small frown. "I've been thinking about that, actually. What is it you would have done back home had you stayed?" she asked curiously, as she took up another forkful of kedgeree.

"That's ....a very good question, actually." He chuckled, a little stumped. "I know that some of the pack went off to the big city, but it was a much less advanced place than the city here. Most of them stayed wolf most of the time. They only turned human if they were making babies. Seren and I kept the garden - you know, vegetables and herbs" - and the pack would bring meat in if there was someone expecting. It wasn't a bad sort of life, really."

Her face brightened, looking relieved and almost excited to hear him say that. "Do you think that's something you'd like to do here?" she asked, having a hard time containing her excitement. She'd never in a million years have expected to be suggesting what she was about to suggest, but she had been drifting for a long time without a real reason or purpose, and it was only these last few days that she'd started to understand what it was she was meant to do.

He looked at her sharply, surprised to hear her suggest it. There was no way to disguise the light in her eyes as she laid that question out for him, easing any concern he might have had in giving her an honest answer. "I've lived with the land for so long, I don't think I could imagine making a living away from it," he said, his voice warmed by the smile on his face. "I think I could be very happy to live off the land here, with you. All we would need would be a few seeds, some well-tilled earth, and a few livestock." Now it was his turn to look excited. "Do you think Duncan would help me to build a cowshed?"

"I'm certain he would," she replied without hesitation. After all, Duncan and Mara owed her their lives. Though she would never hold it over their heads, there was very little they wouldn't grant her, but that was a story for another time. "I know it won't be easy. It will take a lot of work, but ..." She looked around at the cabin that had become home in the woods she so loved. "I don't want to live anywhere else, and I think we could be happy here ....together."

"I think we could be very happy here, Marissa," Emrys agreed, his smile growing as she looked around. "It's hard work, to start, but it gets easier once everything is in place. We could begin marking out land for a vegetable garden and a herb garden today, if you wanted to, and for a cowshed and pigshed, and a chicken coop."

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:47 EST
"A pigshed?" she echoed, laughing delightedly, though she was quite serious about the endeavor. She'd given it plenty of thought over the last few weeks while they'd been readying the cellar and had even discussed the possibility with Mara. "I can't imagine living anywhere else, and I can't imagine my life without you anymore, Em," she said, reaching over to touch her fingers to his jaw, her eyes hopeful, despite their earlier misunderstanding.

"Well, they have to have somewhere to live in the winter," he pointed out, chuckling at her cheerful laughter. This was the most animated he had seen her before now. As her fingers brushed his jaw, he grinned over at her. "You'd really be happy to live off the land in a little cabin with me?" he asked hopefully. He'd enjoyed working the earth as a child; he thought he could find better peace doing it now.

"I think I would," she replied with a smile. All she knew of homesteading she knew from watching Duncan and Mara. They lived a simple life and seemed happy with it, and she couldn't help but envy them. It was an honest life and one that seemed satisfying, knowing that you'd put in an honest day's work. "The truth is, I'm happy here and I don't want to leave. It's peaceful here. Quiet. Why should we leave when we can have everything we need right here?"

Emrys held her gaze for a long moment, his smile infinitely more relaxed than it had been since they'd met. "I'm glad you feel that way," he smiled warmly, taking another bite of the kedgeree. "We'd have to trade for staples - things like bread, or at least flour and yeast to make it - but the basics we could provide for ourselves with a good garden, a cow and chickens, and what we can forage and hunt in the forest."

The truth was, money was no object. She could have chosen to live anywhere she wanted and do anything, but somehow, all she wanted was a simple, fulfilling life here with Emrys. All she wanted was to make him happy, and she thought this might be the way to do just that. "Yes, of course," she agreed readily. "But we could do it, couldn't we?" she asked, hopefully.

"Oh, we could definitely do it!" he enthused, fired up by the idea of creating a small, sustainable farm for them both to live off. If Marissa said she could be happy with that life, Emrys was certain he would be. "Might take a month or so before we can start eating what we grow, but it's a month well spent. We can plant in the next week or so, and with good weather, we should have a decent crop of a few things at least. With a cow, we'll have milk, and we can get cream and butter and cheese that way; with chickens, we'll have eggs every day. The pigs are a luxury, I suppose, but they're good for clearing land for farming, and they love to forage."

"Not to mention pork chops," she added with a smirk, though he was making a good argument for not killing them. Meat would never be much of a problem so long as one or the other was willing to trap or hunt, and with a few changes, the cabin could easily be made ready for the winter months. "Shall we try?" she asked, touching his arm as she looked up at him hopefully.

"Well, obviously," he chuckled, catching her hand as she reached for him. He drew it up to his lips, pressing a kiss to her palm tenderly. "Yes," he told her. "I would very much like to make a home and a life here, with you, kitten."

"I would like that, too, Emrys," she replied, leaning into him, if only for a moment, content at the idea of a simple life here with him away from the confines and chaos of the city where they could be alone to live together in peace. "What should we do first?" she asked, new to this kind of adventure.

"Hmm." He wrapped an arm about her waist as she leaned into him, thinking this one over. "I think we should find out what vegetables and herbs will grow and ripen when over the course of the year," he suggested. "Once we know that, we'll know how big a garden we'll need, and we can start turning the soil and making it ready for the seeds."

"We could ask Duncan and Mara," she suggested. Though they weren't living off the land exactly, they were living on a farm and might know what they'd need to get started. If they didn't, then perhaps Evan and Marin would. "I have an idea," she said, hopping to her feet. "We'll visit the Brambles. See how it's done and ask their advice."

"Right now?" he asked in surprise, chuckling at her eagerness to get started right away. "Can I wash the dish first, so we can give it back when we get there?" His eyes sparkled with anticipation as he rose to his feet with her, dish and forks in his hand.

"Yes, right now!" she replied, laughing. After all, there was no time like the present, and now that they'd decided where their lives were headed, she was eager to set their plan in motion.

"All right, then!" Laughing, he moved to wash and dry Mara's dish so they could take it back with them, surprised and pleased with Marissa's suddenly effervescent outlook on the road ahead. Within a few minutes, they were off, heading along the track that would take them up to the Mallorys' cottage. Though Mara and Duncan tended to come to them by horse, it was an easy enough walk, especially for two weres, and the spring sunshine made it easier still, warm enough for comfort as they ambled along together.

While he was busy washing and drying that single dish, Marissa went about grabbing her cloak and boots and making herself look halfway presentable for their visit. They didn't have too far to go and it was a nice day for a walk, hand in hand, and amicably chattering about their plans for the future as they made their way toward the Brambles.

They arrived in time to see Rob pulling Elise excitedly up along the lane toward the Brambles itself, the older woman managing a wave for the visitors before she hitched up her skirts and ran along with the young lad at his pace. In the front garden, Mara was on her knees in the middle of her own herb patch, laughing at the sight of her friend being dragged away by her son even as she worked on pulling out weeds. Her smile brightened as she caught sight of Marissa and Emrys, raising her gloved hand in a wave.

"I think we've been spotted," Emrys murmured teasingly to Marissa.

"They look happy, don't they?" she asked, giving his hand a warm squeeze. She felt that old fear and trepidation creeping back into her heart, but it was mingled with hope and excitement at the prospect of building a future with the man at her side. "I hope we aren't interrupting anything," she murmured back.

"I'm sure, if we are, we can join in," he assured her, raising her hand to kiss her knuckles as they reached the gate.

Mara had abandoned her weeding to push herself awkwardly up onto her feet, dropping her gloves into the basket by her feet as she moved to greet them. "We weren't expecting to see you today," she greeted them with a bright smile. "Don't stand at the gate, come in! You are family, you know."

"I'm sorry to intrude. I know I should have called, but ..." Marissa looked to Emrys, with a slightly shy smile on her face. Now that they were here, she was feeling bashful again and unsure how to explain. "We were hoping if maybe you could help us with something." No, he hadn't proposed, nor had there been any talk of marriage, but neither seemed to feel it necessary, as they had already declared themselves lifemates.

"Oh, you're not intruding," Mara insisted, waving them past the gate to come and join her. "Weeding's about all they'll let me do these days. Welcome to the Brambles, Emrys. Well, that house up there is the actual Brambles. We're just a spare cottage. I suppose we should name it, really."

Emrys considered the cottage as Mara rattled on, clearly pleased to have visitors. He flashed a smile for Marissa as he squeezed her hand. "Thank you for the welcome, Lady ....uh, Mara," he answered the woman, blushing as he almost forgot to call her by her given name.

Mara chuckled, gesturing for them to come toward the cottage. "You're both always welcome," she promised. "What can we help you with' Would you like something to drink" That is a long walk."

"Some tea would be nice, thank you," Marissa replied politely, hoping Emrys would notice how simple and yet happy the Mallorys' lives were here at the Brambles. "Is Duncan about?" she asked, not because she didn't want to talk to Mara, but because she thought he should be part of this conversation, too, especially for Emrys' sake.

"Last I checked, he was in the barn," Mara told them cheerfully. "Squeezing a pregnant mare." She chuckled, patting her own little bump as she led the way into the cottage and to its little kitchen. "He'll be in soon - he missed lunch, so his stomach will tell him he should have stopped work a few hours ago."

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:47 EST
Emrys followed behind Marissa, intrigued by the comfortable little cottage. It seemed a lot larger on the inside than it had looked from outside, and yet it was so simply furnished. Just enough to keep the family comfortable, and fragrant with the smell of home cooking and baking, and the herbs Mara had been tending outside. "Should I fetch him in?" he offered curiously.

Marissa wasn't sure what the horses would think of Emrys, but he had come through his ordeal the night before and there was very little of the wolf about him today. The question, however, was one she would leave for Mara to answer, though she wouldn't have minded a few minutes alone with her friend to explain without the men hovering close. Instead of replying, she looked to Mara to answer that question, her expression speaking for her.

Catching the look Marissa sent in her direction, Mara smiled as she filled the kettle and set it on the stove to boil. "I'm sure he wouldn't mind," she told Emrys. "If you go out the front and follow the brick path around to the right, it'll take you to the paddock. If you can't see him, shout - he'll hear you."

Emrys nodded agreeably, glad for the easy to follow instructions, and squeezed Marissa's hand one last time. "Won't be long," he promised, returning the way they had come in.

She nodded her head as his fingers slid through hers, leaving her behind for the second time that day, though she was confident he would return. Parted from him for even a short while seemed too long, and she wondered how she had survived without him this long. Once they were alone, she turned back to Mara, looking like she was eager to share some news but unsure just where to start.

Mara set up the teapot with its infuser ready to go, turning to look at her friend with a smile. "So I take it last night went as well as can be expected?" she asked innocently. After all, she knew how to read people; she knew they hadn't slept together yet, but it was definitely on the cards for the future.

Marissa frowned a little at the reminder of the previous night, as she unclasped her cloak and folded it over her arm before laying it upon a chair. "It went as well as could be expected," she started, relaying the story of what had taken place the previous night though not in too much detail.

"Oh, Marissa ..." Mara felt for her. She knew she would not be able to stand by and watch if Duncan had to go through such a thing. She reached out to touch her friend's hand. "You came through it, both of you," she reminded her gently. "And you seem stronger together than you did yesterday. That's a good thing."

"Until next time," Marissa replied with a further frown, but now that they'd weathered the first time, she was hopeful it would get easier from here. She was grateful for Mara's friendship and glad she had someone she could confide in. "We argued earlier. We were both trying too hard, I think. Trying to force things." She sighed, looking close to tears again, though she wasn't sure if it was happiness or the fear of happiness that was causing it. "Oh, Mara. I think I love him, and I want him to be happy, but how do I do that' How do I make him happy' I've never felt like this before. I don't know what to do."

Moving to embrace her friend, Mara held on for a moment, easing back with a faint smile. "I know it's a terrible piece of advice, but you don't need to know what to do," she told Marissa gently. "You're both very new to this, and it takes time to get used to the feelings that come with being in love. Especially the desire. Desire can be overwhelming, addictive. But you should never be afraid to say no, or to slow things down, if you feel that it isn't right. There will come a time, I promise you, when everything falls into place, and you will fall into each other as naturally as breathing. But it won't happen until you are confident, not just in yourself but in him, too." Her smile softened as she stroked her friend's hair back from her worried face. "You can't make him happy. No one can force someone else to be happy. But as long as you keep talking to one another, you can help each other to find where you will be happiest together."

Marissa listened to her friend's advice, taking it to heart. She was not one to actively seek advice often, but where Emrys was concerned, it was needed. Though the other Marissas might have been in love before, this was her first time, and she needed all the advice she could get. "We hardly know each other," she started, "and....I'm afraid when he learns the truth about me ..." It wasn't about her mixed blood anymore. It was about all the other Marissas living in her head, the traveling through time and fiddling with other people's lives, the inheritance she kept in the bank that only seemed to complicate things rather than make them easier. "You and Duncan are so happy here. I envy you. I want a simple life, Mara. Nothing fancy. Money doesn't buy happiness. Love buys happiness."

"Do you have so little faith in him?" Mara asked, pointed but gentle. "Being in love is ....I once heard it described as giving someone the power to destroy you utterly, but trusting that they won't. I'm inclined to agree with that. If you love him, Marissa, then you must trust him not to hurt you, or to leave you. Does he love you? Because if the answer is yes, then he's given you the same power over him as he has over you. There's very little that can break that bond. And I very much doubt that having memories of other lifetimes will even come close to it."

"I wake up in the middle of the night sometimes from nightmares that are really memories that aren't mine. How do I tell him that' How do I explain that to him, when he has his own demons" Of course, I have faith in him. I love him, but I worry he'll think me mad or worse. I'm not mad, Mara." Marissa drew a soft sigh. This wasn't what she'd come here to tell her. "He's my future. That I know. And he's the only one who can heal my past."

"Marissa ....you don't have to tackle this head on," Mara told her carefully, turning to take the whistling kettle off the stove and pour the water into the pot to steep. "Unless he is pushing for you to tell him everything, all at once, you have time to be able to tell him as you become ready for it. There is no set rulebook for this, sweetheart. It is simply a case of following the path when it feels right. The woman he loves is you, the woman you are now. Your past will not change that."

"No, I know. You're right, of course. And I trust him, I do," Marissa said, but whether she was reassuring Mara of that fact or herself was hard to say. "We've decided to build a life together at the cabin. It sounds silly to say it. I know nothing about homesteading, but all I want is a simple life, Mara. I don't want anything but Emrys. He's all I need and all I want. I thought maybe you'd understand. Maybe you and Duncan could help."

Mara's smile returned, gentle and definitely understanding. "Oh, I can understand that very easily," she nodded in agreement. "I've lived poor, and I've lived rich. But I'm happiest now, just getting by, with Duncan and Rob, and our family. What little they let me do, I feel very proud of." She grinned warmly. "We would love to help. Just let us know what you need, and I'm sure we can either find it, or know someone who could find it."

"You don't think it sounds silly?" Marissa asked, uncertainly. Money was really no object where she was concerned. She could offer Emrys a lavish lifestyle, if he wanted it, but somehow she knew it wasn't what either of them wanted.

"Marissa, if you think it will make you happy, then there's nothing silly about it," Mara pointed out fondly, setting out cups as she brought over the teapot to the table. "And even if you try it, and it isn't for you, at least you will have tried, and you'll have new skills to show for it."

"You and Duncan are so happy here, I envy you," Marissa tried to explain again, pausing a moment in thought before continuing. "My parents lived at the cabin for a while before they died. I remember things sometimes. I remember how happy they were. I want Emrys and I to be happy, too."

"Sweetheart, you'll never be happy if you're trying to be like someone else," Mara warned gently, bread and butter on the table beside the pot as she took a seat with her friend. "I know it's tempting, to look at another couple and think if only we could be like them. I used to do it, when I looked at Evan and Marin. But their happiness is theirs alone, and once I stopped trying to be like Marin, trying to make Duncan like Evan, I found a happiness that belongs to me, to us."

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:48 EST
"But that's the problem, Mara," Marissa replied with a frown. "I don't even know where to begin. I mean ....Do you know what I do for a living" Nothing! I don't even belong in this time. I'm not supposed to be here. I'm from twenty years in the future. I never planned for any of this. I never planned on staying. I just came back to ..." She broke off before she said too much, though Mara likely already knew a good part of Marissa's story already.

"I think the point here is ....you don't have to earn a living, but you're not made to sit idle," Mara said with a faint smile. "Neither is Emrys. But at the same time, neither of you are particularly comfortable in a busy center of business or crowded village environment. I think homesteading could suit you both very well."

"I know it will be hard work, but I want to try. I just want to make him happy, Mara," Marissa added, though she'd said that already. She wasn't sure what anyone else was going to think of all this, but it was good to know someone seemed to understand.

Taking her friend's hands gently in her own, Mara leaned toward her. "Marissa, is it all that money sitting idle making you uncomfortable, or is it just the fact that you have it?"

"I don't know," Marissa replied with a further frown, as she turned her gaze to their conjoined hands. "It's ....complicated," she admitted. What about her life wasn't complicated"

"May I make a suggestion?" Mara asked softly, tilting her head curiously. She didn't want to force an idea on her friend, but she had a feeling that at least part of Marissa's uncertainty and discomfort came from how very unequal she and Emrys were. One was the equivalent of a multi-millionaire, and the other didn't actually have any money to his name at all.

"Give all my money away?" Marissa guessed, with a frown that told Mara she wasn't really comfortable with that idea, either. Some of it, maybe, but it didn't hurt to have a little something in an emergency fund. Then again, would she ever really make an effort at homesteading if she didn't really have to"

"Close, but not quite," Mara laughed warmly. "Two-thirds of it, you are not likely to ever touch, even in an emergency, are you? So two-thirds of it is surplus to requirements. Therefore, give away two-thirds of it. The last third will generate enough interest sitting in the bank that it will not run out on you, and you will have money there if you need it. What you won't have, will be a financial headache."

"Two-thirds?" Marissa echoed, trying and failing to do the math in her head. She wasn't even sure how much money was in the bank account, as she hadn't checked in some time. "But what do I do with it?" she wondered aloud. Oh, there were probably plenty of charities in Rhy'Din that could make use of the money, but if she was going to give two-thirds of her inheritance away, she needed to make sure it was going to be put to good use.

Mara paused thoughtfully. "I don't have the faintest idea," she admitted willingly. "Don't your family have a school or something" You could donate some toward that. I think the lady who runs the Shanachie and her friend are putting money toward building some sort of special orphanage for children who have magical talents; they might be looking for donations. Or you could put it into a trust that organizes outings for less-fortunate families in the city. There are any number of things you could do with it."

Clearly, it was something Marissa would have to give some thought to before she took any action. "I'll think about it. I will," she promised, another thought coming to mind. "Do you think I should tell him?" she asked, leaning forward and lowering her voice, though they were still alone at present.

Amused by the conspiratorial turn the conversation had taken, Mara smiled as she leaned in with Marissa. "Does he have any real concept of money?" she asked her friend in answer. "If the answer is no, then it will just be a number to him. He clearly trusts you, so if I were you, I would deal with the money. Simply be ready to assure him that you can afford to buy what you need, and leave it at that."

"He wants to build a ....a chicken coop ....I think," Marissa said, looking a little confused, proving how very little she knew about homesteading. "Oh, goddess, Mara ....What am I doing" He's going to think I'm an idiot!"

Mara chuckled gently, taking her hand. "Come with me," she told her friend, rising from the table to draw her toward the back door. "I can show you a little of what you're going to be trying to put together for yourselves, because we have some of it here."

Marissa drew a slow, calming breath as she moved to her feet to follow after Mara. "I need to take lessons in farming," she muttered to herself, though homesteading was not quite farming. All they needed to do was create enough food to take care of themselves.

"It really isn't that different from tending your medicine garden," Mara assured her as they stepped out into the sunshine. "You plant what you want, at the right time of year, and you keep on top of the weeds. When it's time to harvest, you harvest. It's much simpler than it seems. Look." She gestured to the wide section of garden that had been set aside for carefully turned earth, rows of plants already flourishing. "We have rhubarb, asparagus, cauliflower, cucumbers, new potatoes, radishes, broccoli, sorrel, cabbage, spring greens and onions, spinach, and watercress; all of which we can harvest anytime from now until about the end of May. By then, there will be other vegetables for us to harvest and eat. Each season brings new flavors to play with."

"I suppose," Marissa mused aloud as she turned her gaze toward Mara's garden where vegetables were flourishing in the carefully cultivated earth. Marissa already knew the basics of herb gardening and could expand on that knowledge to create a garden that would supply them with enough food to get them through the winter. "What about livestock" He said something about chickens and pigs and a cow," she asked further.

"Well, we have chickens and a couple of pigs," Mara told her with a warm smile. "We get our milk from the Brambles - they have a couple of dairy cows up there. This way." It was patently obvious which way they were going - even Mara could hear the animals as they approached the specially built coop and shed. The chickens were busily pecking at everything they could find, but the pigs were sunbathing.

"You don't-you don't think they'll be afraid of me?" Marissa asked, as she tentatively followed along. The horses always seemed able to sense that she wasn't quite human, but she wasn't too sure about the rest of the farm animals, nor how they would react to a man who was part wolf.

"You'd be surprised how tolerant, and even affectionate, animals can be when they realize you're the one feeding them," Mara told her with a grin, leaning over the side of the pigs' enclosure to pat the sow's side with surprising force. All she got in return was a happy grunt and a wriggle, and the pig went back to sleep as she laughed. "The chickens are a little more temperamental, but I'm reliably informed they distrust everyone."

"What do you need a pig for?" Marissa asked further, each answer to her questions a lesson learned. The chickens and the cow she understood, but why a pig" Even Emrys didn't seem too sure if one was necessary or not.

"Company," Mara chuckled. "No, honestly, I mean it. They're very intelligent. And they are wonderful at foraging out roots and just about anything edible from the vegetable garden when it comes time to replant and turn the soil. Let them loose in there for a couple of weeks, and you don't need to dig around for anything you might have missed - if it's edible, they'll find it."

"And eat it," Marissa pointed out, though she wasn't too sure. She quieted a moment as she seemed to consider all this. "Emrys seems to think we can do it, but we might need some help," she said, looking over at her friend again. She didn't need to ask if Mara or Duncan would help; Mara had already volunteered upon their arrival. Then again, Mara was with child, and there was only so much she could do. "Will you teach me?" she asked instead.

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:49 EST
"Exactly," Mara nodded. "You can borrow these two to help get the ground ready for planting, if you'd like. I'm sure they'd enjoy the change of scenery. Just make sure it's fenced off securely, and they'll root out everything but the stones for you." She smiled, leaning against the wall of the pig-shed comfortably. "Of course I will, Marissa," she promised. "I know it seems like a lot of work, but once you're into it, it becomes part of the routine. I'm currently trying to avoid being talked into getting a goat."

"Why a goat?" Marissa asked, arching a brow before turning to take another look at the pig. Despite the fact that people always seemed to think they were filthy, this pig was anything but. She leaned close and tentatively held out a hand, palm upwards, for the animal's inspection.

"I'm being told that it'll keep the grass on the lawn short and give milk," Mara laughed. "Rob is very carefully not mentioning that it will eat everything else as well, but I am determined to win this one." She watched as Marissa leaned down toward the sow in the pen, and turned away briefly, plucking an under-ripe apple from the tree behind her. "Try this," she suggested, offering it to her friend. "Pigs are wonderfully mercenary - if you give them something they like, they'll like you."

Marissa glanced over to see Mara handing her an apple that wasn't quite ready for harvest. "So, you buy their loyalty by feeding them," she said, reaching for the apple before turning back to offer it to the sow.

"Pretty much, yes," Mara chuckled. She glanced down into the pen. "Wake up, Bramley." The sow seemed to respond to her name, but she responded far more enthusiastically to the apple being offered in her direction. Heaving herself up onto her hooves, she shuffled around to snuffle at Marissa's hand, barely even seeming to pause before consuming the offered treat amid a collection of crunches and grunts.

While some people might be disgusted by a pig snuffling at their hand to accept a treat, Marissa actually laughed with delight. "Her nose is warm and it tickles a little," she observed with childlike wonder. The tiger might have made a different observation, but the tiger was buried deep inside for now, and Marissa had never been this close to a farm animal before.

The sow continued to investigate Marissa's palm for a good long while as the woman laughed, snuffling hopefully around until she came to the conclusion that one apple was it. Then she threw herself down in the sunshine again.

Mara grinned. "She's my partner in crime," she told Marissa. "Bramley can get Pigeon to do anything, especially when she's pregnant. He's in for a rough couple of months - she's due at the end of May."

"Why's that?" Marissa asked, crouching down so that she would watch the pigs at their own level. "I mean, what kind of things will she make him do?" she asked curiously. It didn't seem to be too rough of a life, being a pig.

"He's stubborn," Mara told her. "If you want him to go one way, he'll stay put, or go the other way, or attempt to destroy the fence. Bramley just butts at him until he does what he's told. She learned very fast that she doesn't get her treats until they're both in the pen, or in the shed, or wherever we want them to be. I haven't seen her with piglets yet - this is her first brood. But she seems pretty capable."

"What are you going to do with the piglets?" Marissa asked, as she watched the pigs enjoying a snooze in the afternoon sun. She didn't want to ask for them outright, but maybe - like Emrys had suggested - they could barter for them.

"Well, she'll probably have between four and eight," Mara said thoughtfully, chortling a little as Bramley decided to roll over and face Marissa, stumpy legs kicking in the air briefly before the sow landed heavily on her other side, offering a snuffly grunt of hello to the woman watching her. "Two are yours, if you'd like them. As for the others, we'll probably end up selling them. We don't want too many. Bramley and Pigeon feed themselves rather well when they're out to pasture, and they get on with the horses. In winter, they eat kitchen scraps. More than two pigs, and we'd have to buy feed for them."

"Really?" Marissa asked, laughing at the pig's antics, before turning to smile up at her friend. "Emrys said something about pigs. He said we'll have to build a pen, and a shed, I suppose." Thought from the looks of it, that might be easily done. She thought the hardest part of all this might be clearing a bit of land first.

"Really," Mara laughed. "What, did you really think I'd let you pay for pigs when there'll be a few going for free right here in a few months' time" You'll need the shed for winter, but over the summer, they'll be happy with just a lean-to. Duncan and Evan built this shed in two days, so it isn't a huge amount of work." She smiled at the way Marissa was responding to Bramley's random warmth. "Come back inside, and I can show you the pictures we have of our garden layout - what goes where, what gets planted when, that sort of thing. We can put another pot on for the boys when they eventually get back to us."

Marissa gave Bramley a last affectionate pat before moving to her feet, brushing her hands off on her jeans before turning back toward the cottage. "Do you miss Shadokhan?" she asked randomly, though she already knew the answer. There wasn't much for Mara to miss there, and everything she needed and wanted was right here at the Brambles.

Mara smiled to herself as they moved back to the cottage, passing the kitchen and herb gardens to pass over the little lawn with its interesting collection of toys too big for the house. "I miss the lake," she admitted ruefully. "The largest body of water around here is an over-sized pond on the other side of the Brambles' acreage, and that exclusively belongs to Marin, Evan, and their little family."

"You don't think they'd let you use it?" Marissa asked, as she followed her friend back inside, with a brief glance at her surroundings, her gaze lingering a moment on the herb gardens. She had no real solution to that problem, save one, but she thought she'd keep that to herself for now.

"I'm sure they would, if we asked." Mara shrugged lightly, glancing back at the garden. "I don't like to ask, though. They have very little space that is absolutely private to them." She considered the garden for a moment. "I think I may ask Duncan if he's any good at making furniture as the weather improves. It would be nice to be able to sit out here in the summer."

"You could visit us at the cabin. There's a river not far from there, and it's cool under the trees," Marissa suggested, though she had something else in mind, too. What was the point of having a lot of money if you couldn't spend it on your friends now and then"

"Mm?" Mara blinked out of her own speculation, looking over at Marissa in surprise. "That's a lovely offer. Are you sure, though' Giving up your privacy, even for a day, to satisfy my desire that Rob and this one know how to swim might be taking advantage of your friendship a little." She patted her bump, inviting Marissa back inside with a tilt of her head.

"How is spending time with friends taking advantage?" Marissa countered, smiling warmly at her friend. Just visiting with Mara and Duncan always made her feel better, as though she wasn't really as alone in the world as she thought. And now that she was with Emrys, there was even more reason to visit. "I really need to introduce Emrys to my family," she mused aloud, though she'd been waiting until after the full moon.

"Yes, you should," Mara nodded in agreement. "But it doesn't have to be an intimidating meeting. Neutral ground, perhaps. Meet with them for a meal, or even just a drink, somewhere quiet but public, where you and Emrys can make your excuses and leave easily if you need to. Once the first meeting is done, homes shouldn't be too much difficulty." Slipping back into the kitchen, she touched the side of the pot with her hand, smiling to find it still hot. "How are you taking your tea these days?"

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:49 EST
"I was thinking maybe I should introduce him to Colleen first. She's the closest thing I have to a mother," Marissa told her as they re-entered the kitchen. "Oh, with a little milk and sugar," she replied. "How's the baby?" she added, turning the conversation away from herself and Emrys.

Mara chuckled, glancing down at her bump. Thanks to necessity and an enlightening trip to the city with Marin, she had embraced modern clothing as her mid-section grew. Corsets and long skirts were likely a thing of the past - Mara had discovered jeans and she didn't want to go back. "Starting to get active," she told Marissa with a warm grin, pouring the tea for them both. "I wanted to ask you, actually ....do you know any remedies for heartburn" I can't keep drinking milk in the hope it will let me settle, it's beginning to make me feel sick."

"Heartburn?" Marissa echoed, arching a brow as she claimed a chair at the table. "Several, actually. Some people swear by peppermint, but sometimes that makes things worse. Chamomile tea might help, or licorice root," she replied, naming a few just off the top of her head.

"I will have to try some, then," Mara nodded, standing for a moment to pull a thick book stuffed with loose papers from a shelf. Opening it, she scribbled down the remedies Marissa had just mentioned. "It will only get worse until the birth, so getting a head start in counteracting it will help. Thank you."

"I can look into a few other remedies, if you like. It may take a little experimentation to find something that will work," Marissa volunteered. She had learned about herbs and their healing properties from her mother, but she'd never really used the knowledge to help anyone before.

"I will try virtually anything," Mara admitted with a low laugh. "I'd forgotten how awful the heartburn was with Rob. I'm being reminded in a hurry." She tapped the book she'd brought down from the shelf. "That's my garden book, by the way. Feel free to look through it."

"Oh," Marissa murmured, as she pulled the book toward her and flipped it open to a random page. "Have you always been interested in gardening?" she asked curiously, wondering if this was something they might have in common.

"I've always loved plants, but when I was growing up, we could barely afford the apartments we lived in," Mara told her, sipping her tea as Marissa flipped her way to the lovingly color-coded diagram of what was planted where in the vegetable garden. "And then Duncan showed me the gardens at Mallory Manor. I would have loved to have stayed there, to have learned all about those gardens and how to tend them. You know how that turned out. After that, I was just for show. But when you brought us here ....Marin suggested that I start a herb garden, and I enjoyed it so much, I tried vegetables. Now we grow most of our own food, and what we have in surplus, we send up to the Brambles."

"What about flowers?" Marissa asked, remembering the garden her foster mother had lovingly tended when Marissa was a child growing up in Rhy'Din. "I have a small herb garden at the cabin, but I've never grown vegetables or flowers," she admitted as she paged through the book.

"We have roses." Mara's smile grew as she mentioned this. She still remembered the rose garden where Duncan had first asked her to marry him, all those years ago, before everything had gone to hell. "I like wildflowers, though. Bluebells, poppies, daisies. I should dearly like a flower garden. Maybe I'll work on that this year, and have something beautiful next year."

"I think you should. I'm sure Marin wouldn't mind," Marissa said. She couldn't imagine the woman denying Mara the opportunity to further beautify the Brambles. "Do you and Duncan ever wish you could get away for a little while?" she asked without looking up from her browsing of the garden book.

"A holiday, you mean?" Mara asked curiously, considering this. "It isn't something that's come up. But ....I don't know, maybe. A change of scenery is always nice, especially if you have a home you love to come back to."

"A holiday, yes," Marissa confirmed, looking up from the book finally. "Maybe at a lakehouse, like the one in Dreven," she suggested, curious to see what Mara might think of the idea before she pursued it.

"Oh, wouldn't that be lovely?" Mara sighed, leaning back in her chair as she smiled. "Somewhere to escape the most oppressive heat of the summer, or the deepest snows in the winter. Somewhere we could swim and ride, and just enjoy each other, without needing to worry about chores."

"I could make that happen," Marissa told her friend, deciding it was better to tell her what she was considering, rather than keep it a secret. She raised one hand to stop Mara before she had a chance to protest. "I know you're probably going to say you couldn't possibly accept such a gift, but consider what we just got done talking about a little while ago. I have more money than I know what to do with, Mara, and if I can't use some of it to make my friends happy, what?s the point of having it at all?"

Forestalled from protesting almost before she got her mouth open, Mara gave in graciously, chuckling at how well Marissa knew her. She held her friend's gaze for a long moment. "I did rather talk myself into a corner with that one, didn't I?" she conceded in amusement. "On one condition, though. That you and Emrys come with us, wherever this mysterious place is."

"I can go you one better," Marissa started with a grin. "You and Duncan can help us pick a place out," she suggested. She had yet to start looking for such a place, and she saw no reason her friends shouldn't be part in choosing it. Whether they ended up buying land and building a lakehouse or two, or found one already in existence remained to be seen. Marissa was sure this wasn't what Emrys had meant by bartering, but if Mara and Duncan were going to help them get started homesteading, Marissa wanted to return the favor somehow, even if it wasn't exactly a fair trade. "I wonder what?s keeping them," she mused as she looked toward the window, wondering what Duncan and Emrys were up to.

Emrys himself wasn't entirely sure what they were up to. All he really knew was that he was leaning his full weight against a heavy board on the side of the stable, while Duncan did something manly with a large hammer and a lot of nails. He knew it was his fault, though. "I really am very sorry," he apologized for the umpteenth time. "I've never been around horses before. Will Thunder come back?"

"Aye, he won't go far," Duncan assured the other man. Though the horse likely wouldn't be back until Emrys had departed, he knew where his home was. "You just startled him is all," he explained further as he finished nailing the panel back in place. It didn't hurt that the Brambles was fenced in, so the animals couldn't go far, but if he didn't come back in a few hours, Duncan would go looking.

"Well ..." Emrys straightened, letting the panel test the nails holding it in place. "At least now we know I should definitely stay away from horses." He glanced at the other man, still concerned he'd caused offense. "I'm glad I didn't upset the mare - Mara said she was pregnant?"

"Aye, she has a few months yet," Duncan informed the other man, giving a tug on the panel to see if it was securely in place. "I'm sort of the stablemaster here at the Brambles. I mainly work with the horses," he explained, without going into too much detail. "How did things go last night?" he asked, knowing all about the man's monthly ordeal.

Emrys paused for a moment, giving his answer some thought. "Better than I had expected," he said eventually, refusing to go into detail about the damage he'd done to himself, or his momentary awakening. That was very private. "I'm more concerned about Marissa. She took the whole thing much harder than I thought she would."

"Oh' How so?" Duncan asked as he went about putting fresh hay in Thunder's stall. He knew what both Marissa and Emrys were, though he'd never seen either of them in any form other than human. "What happened?"

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:50 EST
Though he would have liked to have helped, Emrys figured that keeping his scent away from Thunder's stall would be better for the stallion, moving to lean in the doorway to the stable itself. "It's not the easiest thing to watch, I suppose," he said thoughtfully. "She was very distressed about it. She was crying, Duncan. When I came to, she was the one who needed to be comforted, but she looked after me. And when I woke up this morning ....she was lying next to me. She's never done that before."

Duncan looked over at the man who was slowly becoming a friend, and couldn't help but smile, despite what Emrys was telling him about Marissa's distress. "And why do you think she did that?" he asked, wanting Emrys to figure it out on his own, if he hadn't already.

Emrys sighed, crossing his arms over his chest comfortably as he met Duncan's smiling gaze. "She loves me," he said, with absolute confidence. "And it terrifies her. And I can't help, because I don't know what I'm doing here. I love her. I'll always love her, no matter where I am or what I'm doing. Even the wolf part of me accepts her as my mate. But the way she reacts to things ....I never know how she'll respond to me. We argued this morning for the first time, and she was completely broken by it. It's as though she didn't believe me when I said I was coming back."

Duncan's smile faded, his expression turning serious, though he was glad to hear the other couple were finally admitting they had feelings for one another. "How much has she told you about her past?" he asked, though he wasn't sure it was his place to tell what he knew of Marissa's story.

"Not much," Emrys shook his head, frowning worriedly. "She talks about her parents, mostly. She's mentioned that she lost someone once, someone who seems to have walked away from her. But that's just one person. Why would that make her so frightened of believing a word I say?"

"I don't think it's a matter of trust," Duncan said, though he couldn't be sure. The Duncan Marissa had once known could have explained much better, but that Duncan no longer existed. "She hasn't told me everything. Mara would know better than I, but I don't think it's only one person. Did she mention any names?"

"No." Emrys shook his head once again, pushing off from the doorway to look across the paddock toward the cottage. "No, she doesn't say anything about her past at all. She keeps telling me that I won't love her any more if she tells me something. I don't know how else to convince her that just isn't true. She could be married to a dozen different men and women, and be the world's foremost serial killer, and I would still love her."

Duncan followed Emrys' gaze toward the cottage with a frown of his own. There was only one thing he knew of that Marissa might think would cause Emrys to leave her. "Has she told you how we met?"

"Not a thing," was the reply. "She holds everything very close to her chest. All I know is that she considers you almost a brother, rather than simply a friend." Emrys' lips quirked into a smile. "Thus I am rather trying to stay on your good side."

Duncan snorted at Emrys' remark and set the rake aside to join him outside, clapping a hand to his shoulder. "You needn't worry about that. If you love her the way you say you do, that's all I need know." He moved to settle himself on a bale of hay, waving a hand to Emrys to join him. This was likely to take a while.

"If I can't make her happy, then it might not be enough," Emrys worried, moving to sit with Duncan on the bale. "I just don't know what to do. She's so very blunt, and she expects me to be. I'm not used to laying out everything I'm feeling in the moment in terms so clear even a child would understand them. It feels very exposing."

"You've never been with anyone before, have you?" Duncan asked, arching a brow. He didn't really need to ask that question, as the answer was obvious. "Loving someone is like that. It's trusting someone with your heart. It makes you vulnerable."

"Before I met Marissa, I'd barely spent more than two days in anyone's company before moving on," Emrys told him, almost ashamed of his inexperience with people in general. "I just don't understand her. And when I called her out on her behavior this morning - I explained the reason I was angry, I told her that I was going to check on my traps so I could calm down - she took it so much to heart. I hated to see her like that, but I won't let her attack me just because I'm not saying or doing exactly the right things."

"I'm pretty sure she'll blame herself more than she blames you," Duncan mused aloud, before taking another tack. "Do you know how many times Mara and I have argued" And we're still together. It's normal, believe me, especially when you're first getting to know each other. It might be hard at first, but if you really love each other, you'll sort it out eventually."

"I want to give her what she doesn't have," Emrys admitted quietly, looking out across the patch of land that belonged to the Mallorys. "To give her a home, a real home. She suggested we should try homesteading - that was the excuse for coming up here today. I say excuse ....I think she wanted to talk to Mara more than pick your brains about vegetables and livestock."

"You don't think the cabin is a real home?" Duncan asked, curious what the other man was thinking. He couldn't give him any good advice if he didn't know where his concerns were and what he was expecting. "Let me ask you something," Duncan started. "Let's forget about Marissa for a moment. Tell me what you want."

"No, I don't mean to build somewhere else," Emrys shook his head, sighing as he realized he was probably going to have to be blunt with Duncan, too. "A home is somewhere you feel safe and warm and loved; somewhere you return to because you want to, not just because it's necessary. I've never had a home, and the cabin does not feel like it has been a home to Marissa. A safe haven, maybe, but not a home." He rubbed a hand through his cropped curls, looking over at Duncan curiously. "I want her," he said simply. "I want my life to be entwined with hers, to share a home with her. I want to find some way to fix my problem, so we might be able to entertain the possibility of a family together. A future. With Marissa."

Duncan remained quiet while Emrys replied to his question, impressed by the fact that the man wasn't afraid to be open and honest, even when it came to matters of the heart. "I assume you've told her all that," he said, uncertainly.

"Not in so many words," the other man sighed, rolling his eyes. "Like I said, I never know how she'll react. What if I choose the wrong moment, and she snaps at me for it' Or worse, what if I make her cry again? I seem to be awfully good at doing that."

"Tears aren't always bad, you know," Duncan pointed out with a light shrug. "It just means she's feeling emotional about something. You don't argue all the time, right?" he asked further, trying to get a sense of what it was like between them. He knew Marissa was quiet and kept to herself a lot, and Emrys wasn't used to being around people either. It was going to take some time for the two of them to adjust to being together.

"No, not all the time," Emrys agreed. "This was the first time. I don't feel so bad about the argument - we were both responsible for having it and why it happened. I feel worse about how badly she took it. How little faith she had that I would keep my word and come back. Was I wrong, to leave the cabin and walk off my frustration so I would not simply snap back at her?"

"No, I don't think so. I've done the same thing from time to time. It's better to walk off your anger than risk saying something you don't mean, and it's good that she sees you're a man of your word and that you'll always come back. I don't think she's had that before. It's not that she doesn't trust you or have faith in you. It's just that she's scared," Duncan explained.

"Aye, but how many times will I have to prove it?" Emrys worried. "You and Mara seem so comfortable together, you have so much trust in each other. You don't seem to need to prove to one another that you will keep your word, or that there is no need for fear. Half the time, Marissa seems afraid of even being in love, or being loved at all, and the other half, she's trying to insist that I'm going to leave her the moment I know all her secrets. How do you argue against such strong convictions without doing more harm?"

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:51 EST
Duncan couldn't help but chuckle a little, remembering all the arguments he and Mara had been through over the years. "You've only known Marissa a few weeks. I've known Mara since I was a boy," he pointed out, though that didn't really answer Emrys' question. "Patience," he replied, simply. There really was no other answer than that. "Do you know how we came to be in this place?"

"Patience," Emrys repeated, rolling his eyes as he sighed once again. He didn't think he was very good at being patient, but for Marissa, he would try. At Duncan's question, curiosity overtook his worries. "She's never said so, but I think Marissa had something to do with it. Tell me."

"Aye, she did. If it wasn't for Marissa, Mara and I would likely be dead." Duncan didn't mention Rob, as he wasn't too sure just what Rob's fate might have been, but he was fairly certain it wouldn't have been good.

"I can't speak for Marissa," he started, thinking she should explain her feelings and her story to Emrys herself. "But I can tell you what she did for Mara and me. We are not from this world. We are from a world where the portals stopped working so that no one could travel offworld anymore." He paused a moment to let that sink in before going on. "In order to find us, Marissa had to travel back to a time when the portals were still working. To a time before ..." He hesitated a moment, not really liking what he was about to say next. "Before Mara and I were dead."

Emrys listened, instantly fascinated. He had always loved stories, even more so when the characters in them were people he knew. Yet there was something in this story that gave him pause. "She can do that?" he asked in astonishment, his mind turning to a conversation had with Marissa the day after they had met. He'd thought it was just philosophical conjecture, that it was impossible to travel through time, and yet he'd given her an answer that had been properly thought through. He was glad of that now; if he had not done so, who knew what might have happened" "She can travel through time ....Huh." He frowned thoughtfully, letting that one sink in. Maybe he needed to share a detail about his sister's death that he hadn't yet, or perhaps he should keep it to himself. He'd have to think about that one.

"Aye, but it's dangerous," Duncan replied. For obvious reasons. "I don't think it's something she takes lightly. There's a price to be paid for everything. I don't know how many times she's done it or why, but I do know we weren't the first. When she came back, she changed things. We didn't know who she was or why she was there, but she offered us an escape from an impossible situation. She offered us a life here in Rhy'Din, and we took it. She didn't tell us everything that happened in our future, but she seemed certain that staying there wouldn't end well for us. We decided to trust her, and here we are."

"She took a great risk for someone who didn't know her at all," Emrys said thoughtfully. "She couldn't possibly have known that you would trust her, or that you would become her closest friends. What was the price?" he asked then, concerned that Marissa might well be paying the price for her intervention still.

"She said she knew us in our future, her past, but it was hard to believe at first. There were things she knew about us that she couldn't have known, things only people closest to us knew. And ..." Duncan paused a moment again before going on. "Her foster mother lives there. She stayed behind when the portals closed. Marissa will never see her again." Unless she chanced traveled through time once again. "The woman who raised her," he explained further.

Emrys winced. That was a hefty price to pay, indeed, and it made his mind up on the spot. Marissa did not need to know that last detail he had not shared with her. He did not want her paying such a terrible price again. "That is a deep loss," he agreed quietly. "And one that would shape her in ways even she might not have realized."

"Aye, well ....It's her story to tell," Duncan said with another shrug of his shoulders. There was more, but he wasn't sure it was his place to share it.

"But it gives me a place to help her start telling me." Emrys offered the other man his hand in gratitude. "Thank you, Duncan," he said sincerely. "Without help, I don't think Marissa is ever going to be able to explain her past to me. You may have just opened the door for us."

"There was a time when I thought Mara had given up on me," Duncan told him, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "We lost a lot of years because I was too hurt and stubborn to see what was right in front of my face. If you love her, don't make that same mistake, Emrys," he warned the other man, taking his hand in a firm grip of his own.

"I've been alone for a decade," Emrys told him honestly, the pain of that isolation obvious in his eyes as he held the other man's gaze. "I was rejected by my pack five years before that. I killed the only person who ever loved me. Believe me, I do not want to make any mistakes."

"I don't think you will, either. It won't be easy, but nothing worthwhile ever is," Duncan said, reaching over to squeeze the other man's shoulder. "What do you say we get back to the house" It'll give Thunder a chance to find his way back," he said, though it wasn't really about Thunder at all. It was about seeing what the women were up to.

"Aye, that does sound like the best policy here," Emrys agreed, moving to his feet. "You don't mind that we've interrupted your day up here, then" She was worrying about that on the walk here."

"Friends are always welcome," Duncan assured the other man as they both moved to their feet. And when you owe your life to someone, it's very hard to say no. "Our women have formed a close bond of friendship. I expect we'll be seeing a lot of each other," he added with a friendly smile.

"I should like to be able to call you friend, Duncan," Emrys told him, a little wary of the response. He'd never admitted to any of the traders who'd called him "friend" that he did not consider them as such. It was a big step for a loner to take.

Duncan had few friends of his own in this world, other than Evan and those at the Brambles. He had left most of his friends behind, but he had no regrets. It was a small price to pay for this life with Mara and Rob. "I would be happy for your friendship, Emrys," he told the other man honestly.

"You may regret that when I ask you to help me build a few things at the cabin," Emrys chuckled, letting Duncan take the lead in returning to the cottage. Hopefully Marissa had spoken to Mara about what was deeply bothering her by now, or they were going to be back here tomorrow.

"What kind of things?" Duncan asked, smiling again. He doubted there was much he would deny either Emrys or Marissa. It's what friends were for, after all.

"Cowshed and a pig pen," Emrys told him with a shrug. "I could do with some help to harvest hazel and ash to make a few hurdles to protect the garden from wandering beasties, too."

"You're really serious about this homesteading thing," Duncan remarked, a little surprised, not because of Emrys, but because of Marissa. "Was this your idea or hers?" he asked as they started away from the barn toward the cottage.

"Hers." Emrys made no effort to hide his own surprise there. "She was talking about visiting the city, then suddenly she asked me what I'd want to do with myself. I told her how I kept the kitchen garden for the pack when I was child, and just like that, she suggested we should try homesteading."

"She's been alone at the cabin for a long time," Duncan said. Or at least, ever since he and Mara had moved to the Brambles. "Mara and I lived there for a little while before moving here. It's quiet ....peaceful." A little too quiet at times, but as far as he knew, Marissa had always been something of a loner.

Emrys drew in a slow breath, looking up at the sky as they walked. "I will never be comfortable among too many people," he admitted. "I've spent too long alone, and my only experience of people was my pack, who rejected me and wanted me dead. So long as Marissa is happy with the peace and the quiet, I will be happy with her."

"I think she feels the same," Duncan said, from what little he knew of her since they'd met. Mara would know better, but he thought Emrys would find out on his own soon enough. "Both of you are used to being alone. Try to be patient. It will take time for you to get used to being together."

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:51 EST
"That's part of the problem," Emrys admitted with a faint growl of frustration. "I want everything now, but I don't even know what that everything is. I tried to steer us toward something physical, and it only ended in an argument."

Duncan smiled, not really too surprised by Emrys' confession, but glad he was honest enough to be able to admit his own faults, too. "Take your time and don't rush things. It will happen when the time is right," he assured him.

"It won't happen at all if she keeps losing her temper when I'm naked," Emrys muttered, but said no more after that. He felt embarrassed enough about the whole affair as it was. As they reached the garden, he considered it for a moment. "Have you ever thought about making a bench, or chairs and a table for out here?"

Duncan tried his best to hide a smirk at Emrys' comment. If the man was still walking around the cabin naked, that could very well be a reason for tension between them. "You might want to try pants," he suggested mildly, trying hard to hide that smirk. "Aye, but I haven't had time. Would you like to help?"

"Aye, that's how it works," Emrys grinned at him. "Help me build a cowshed, and I'll build you a table and chairs to enjoy your garden with." It was a slightly more even bargain than the one Mara had struck with Marissa, but it proved instantly that Emrys was not a man to whom bartering was a mystery. Money ....now that was a mystery.

Duncan was no stranger to bartering - it was something that was done at the Brambles and had been done back home from time to time. "I'd say you have a deal," he replied with a grin, noting the man had made no comment regarding the pants.

"A deal?" Mara appeared in the doorway, having apparently come looking for the men. She eyed them both, her arms crossed comfortably over her bump. "Not planning on swapping womenfolk, I hope. You could both end up terribly emasculated if you tried that."

Emrys' eyes widened abruptly, horror flashing through his expression. "No! No, I'd never ....not that you're not ....but you're ....and ..." He swallowed, and made a better effort. "I love Marissa, and nothing is ever going to change that, Lady Mara."

"We were talking about swapping favors," Duncan explained with a chuckle as he started up the stairs toward his wife. "I'm going to help him build a cowshed, and he's going to help us with garden furniture," he explained, touching a kiss to her cheek.

"Oh, I see." Mara chuckled, returning that kiss affectionately. "Well, wash your hands, boys, and you can have some tea. Shoo." Wriggling her fingers at them, she slipped back inside.

Emrys paused at the foot of the porch steps, confusion covering his face. "How ..." He scratched his head. "Is she often like that?"

"Bossy, you mean?" Duncan asked, chuckling. "Aye, I think all women are like that a little, but it gets worse when they get pregnant!" At least, he seemed amused by it, rather than upset.

Emrys felt a small smile touch his face as he moved to follow Duncan into the house. It was hard to argue with the man's assessment of his own wife - Mara did seem a touch on the bossy side - but it was clearly made with deep affection. "Marissa?" he called as they entered the house, wanting to know where she was.

"In here!" Marissa called back from the kitchen, not bothering to remind Emrys to wash his hands. She was busily looking through Mara's garden book, debating what she'd like to try planting first.

"Hands," Duncan reminded him with a grin, clapping him on the shoulder before making his way to the bathroom to wash up.

"I won't forget," Emrys said defensively, making his own way into the kitchen to do just that. He paused to drop a kiss on Marissa's hair on his way past. "What are you looking at?" he asked her curiously, examining the taps carefully for a moment before turning them on and washing his hands thoroughly.

She smiled up at him as he wandered past and kissed her hair, the darker mood seemingly having passed for the time being. "It's a gardening book," she replied, scribbling some notes on a pad of paper Mara had supplied for just that purpose. "What kinds of vegetables did you grow back home?" she asked, curiously.

"Roots and leaves," he told her as he washed his hands, looking over his shoulder to where she was scribbling away. "Potatoes, turnips, parsnips, onions; cabbage, kale, broccoli. We didn't have a very varied diet - the vegetables were there so they didn't have to give us too much meat."

"I think we can do better than that," Marissa said, setting the pen down now that Emrys had joined them. "Mara, would you mind if I borrowed your book for a few days" I want to go through it again before we decide what to plant," she asked her friend, not wanting to assume, despite their friendship.

"Oh, of course," Mara nodded with a warm smile, replenishing the teapot with hot water and fresh tea for the men. "The herb garden is in there, too. We won't have any new crops until the end of May, so I know what?s edible in the garden right now and where it is. I only need the book as each season comes around, really." Setting the teapot on the table, she turned for extra cups, handing them to Emrys.

He blinked, surprised, and put them down on the table, moving to sit next to Marissa. "How big a garden were you thinking of, kitten?"

"I'm not sure really," Marissa replied, closing the book and setting it aside with her paper and pen. "It's only the two of us, but if we want to do some canning, we should plant enough to sustain us through the winter," she replied. She had a little knowledge of gardening from her foster mother, but she had never actually put that knowledge to work.

"Canning?" Emrys frowned in confusion, glancing at Mara as though she might be able to provide a translation.

The golden-haired woman chuckled from where she was building a sandwich for her husband - he who had missed lunch because he was so very busy. "Preserving," she offered to Emrys, who nodded in understanding.

"Well, it wouldn't hurt to have a few reserves in case of a bad crop," he agreed with Marissa then. "And some plants give bumper crops, while some don't. You can never really tell until you've grown them."

"Maybe some berries, too," Marissa mused aloud. It would be kind of nice to make jam, though she wasn't sure if it was too late in the season for planting berries or not yet. And if things didn't work out, she still had the brownstone in the city.

Duncan finally found his way inside, hands as clean as they were going to get, and went over to Mara to greet her with a kiss. "Miss me?" he asked, as if he'd been gone a long time, when he'd only spent the morning in the barn.

"There are wild strawberries in the forest," Emrys volunteered to Marissa, leaning over the book with her for a moment. "We might have to buy saplings, though, if we want apples and pears and such."

As the two conferred about fruit and vegetables, Marissa smiled up at her own husband, answering his kiss with a second of her own. "Desperately," she assured him warmly. "Sit, eat, or you're going to embarrass Rob with your table manners in front of the Evans' again tonight."

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:52 EST
"Again?" Duncan echoed with a grin, as his arms went around her waist. His stomach grumbled, giving his hunger away, but not before he gave his wife a proper husbandly greeting. "When have I ever not been on my best behavior?" he queried curiously.

"The day that you and Evan didn't eat anything between breakfast and dinner, and somehow managed to devour an entire cheese loaf between you in the time it took for everyone else to sit down?" Mara suggested affectionately, leaning into him as she smiled. To be fair, Marin had laughed herself silly at the guilty looks on the men's faces when they'd realized that they'd eaten part of everyone else's meal.

"We were hungry!" Duncan pointed out with a chuckle, touching a kiss to the back of her neck, while she fixed his sandwich, his hands settling protectively and possessively against the swell of her abdomen. "Emrys was telling me he and Marissa are going to try homesteading," Duncan remarked, knowing Mara probably knew this already. "Perhaps we can help them get started."

"That sounds like a very good idea," she agreed with him, letting him take the lead on that one. "I can easily put together some cuttings from our garden, and I offered up the pigs to clear the land they're going to plant on. Emrys will need help building what needs to be built." She leaned back into Duncan with a fond smile. "And apparently Marissa feels we should all find a holiday home we can share."

"A holiday home?" Duncan echoed, arching a brow as he swung his gaze over at Marissa, whose head was tipped close to Emrys as they flipped through the gardening book together. "You mean, like the lake house?" he asked further, reaching around his wife to steal a bit of cheese she was using to build his sandwich.

"Yes, like the lake house." Mara laughed, gently smacking his hand as he pilfered from his own sandwich. "See" Table manners." With the sandwich made, she didn't make any move to slip away from him, enjoying a few moments of contact. "She asked me if I missed Shadokhan. I told her the truth - all I truly miss is the lake."

As for Duncan, he had mixed feelings about the lake house. While he and Mara had spent some happy times there, it had also been the place where his sister had died. Still, a holiday home would be nice, if only they had time for a holiday. "Are we thinking of building or buying?" he asked, snatching up the sandwich and taking a healthy bite.

"To be honest, I don't know," she chuckled, glancing over at the other couple, who seemed to be deep in discussion over the garden book. "Marissa said we should help them choose a place - I would assume that would mean buying. I don't think she'll let us contribute any money toward it, though, love."

He frowned a little at that, not quite seeing the irony in their situation. There had been a time when he'd had his own inheritance, but most of it had been left behind when they'd left Dreven for Rhy'Din. It seemed Marissa was facing a similar situation, as she debated what to do with her future and the money her birth mother had left her. "What do you think?" he asked, quietly, curious what his wife thought of the idea.

"What do you mean?" she asked him in return, a little uncertain quite what he was asking her opinion of.

"What do you think about taking her up on the offer?" he asked, hopefully clarifying his question. Though the offer was tempting, he didn't want any charity and he didn't want to take advantage of Marissa's generosity. But maybe it was something they should talk about later.

"I think we need to talk about it properly, before mentioning anything to Rob or Elise," Mara said thoughtfully. "But I think it is a good idea." She glanced at the others, lowering her voice in the hope they wouldn't overhear what was about to be said. "They may well be suited to isolation, but they are desperately lonely, love. Perhaps if we could negotiate them into letting us supply furniture and food, it would feel less like taking advantage of them."

Duncan smiled at his wife's suggestion, as she echoed his thoughts. "I was thinking the same thing," he whispered back, not too surprised at how similarly their minds worked these days.

Smiling back at him, Mara leaned up to touch a kiss to his chin. "Go and sit, I'll be with you in a moment," she promised. True to her word, it was only as long as it took to fetch out Elise's cake of the day, a knife, and plates before Mara was joining them at the table. "When do you think you'll be starting on all this?" she asked Marissa and Emrys curiously.

Marissa looked up as Duncan and Mara joined them at the table, a thoughtful expression on her face at her friend's question. "I'm not sure. As soon as we can, I guess." They were lucky it was spring, anyway - the perfect season to start a garden.

"It's a lot of work to set up, but the garden should come first," Emrys mused. "If we can get the ground cleared and turned and planted in the next few weeks, we could have crops by mid-summer."

Mara nodded in agreement with him. "The size of the plot will depend on what you decide to plant," she warned. "Draw pictures, I heartily recommend that."

"And you won't be alone. You'll have help," Duncan pointed out, though whether that help would just come from himself and Mara was hard to say. Marissa had family, too, who might be willing to help if she could find the courage to ask for it.

"Do you really think we could do it?" Marissa asked, looking from one to the other hopefully.

"I don't see any reason why you couldn't," Mara answered with a gentle smile. "If I can do it, then you certainly can. You are nowhere as spoiled as I was when we got here."

Emrys' mouth fell open at the idea of a woman he had only seen doing practical, useful things thus far being spoiled, but he regained his composure easily enough. "We can do it," he nodded to Marissa, tangling his fingers with hers to squeeze gently. "Even if we live off meat and the occasional berry for a solid year, we can make it work."

Duncan smirked at his wife's statement, and slid an arm around her from where he sat, but that wasn't the whole story. Mara had suffered more than anyone from Stefan's cruelty, and Duncan was more than happy to spoil her now that they were free.

Marissa mirrored Emrys' smile, the love she felt for him obvious in her gaze as her fingers tangled with his. It was hardly likely they'd have to live off only meat and berries, but she had yet to tell him about her inheritance. "I doubt that will be necessary," she told him, a little shyly.

"I'd endure just about anything to stay with you, kitten," Emrys promised her softly, leaning close to gently touch his cheek to hers.

"Even my silly mood swings?" Marissa asked him, with a slightly bashful smile. She knew she'd been moody and she knew he probably didn't understand why, but maybe in time, it would pass. Every day they were together, she grew more comfortable with him, and was became more convinced that she didn't want to spend a single day without him. "We'll figure it all out, Em," she promised him, as she hugged him close, resting her head against his shoulder.

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:52 EST
Across the table, Mara turned her eyes away from the other couple, meeting Duncan's smile with her own.

Duncan shrugged lightly and nodded his head toward the other couple, as if to pass his wife a silent message, thinking they might need a few minutes alone.

Catching the message, Mara nodded, moving to rise. "I need to tidy up my things from the front garden," she announced. "Come along, husband, help the pregnant." With a flash of a smile to Marissa, she slipped from the room, one hand firmly gripping Duncan's shirt.

Duncan chuckled as he got yanked from his chair and the room. "As you wish, love," he told her with a wink to the other couple before he disappeared out the door with his wife.

Emrys snorted with laughter at the tactful exit, embracing Marissa fondly as she leaned into him. "Mood swings and all," he promised her faithfully. "If you can handle my time of the month, then I can handle you being you."

Marissa laughed, amused by something he'd said. "I have a time of the month, too, you know," she reminded him, though it had very little to do with the full moon. She touched a kiss to his cheek and closed the garden book. Enough talk about vegetables for one day. "We should really be going before we overstay our welcome," she told him gently.

He chuckled gently, nuzzling to her for a moment before letting her go. "Whenever you are ready," he told her fondly. "We've rabbit for our own dinner tonight, anyway. I just have to skin the bloody things."

"I'm ready," she told him, hugging him to her as he nuzzled close before letting go. "We should be going before it gets dark," she added further. It wasn't a long walk, but there were things that needed doing before nightfall and it wasn't getting any earlier. "We can come back in a few days after we sort out what we want to plant."

"Let's go, then." Rising, Emrys paused, glancing through the window, and wrapped a couple of slices of the cake in a cloth he always carried in his pocket, just in case. The wrapped cake went back into that pocket as he glanced at Mara. "For later."

"For later," she echoed, smiling in amusement, knowing Mara wouldn't mind them taking a few slices of cake. She just hoped they didn't mind their visit or the fact that they were taking such an abrupt leave.

You can take the man out of the forest, but you can't take the forest out of the man. Unashamed of his scavenging, Emrys took her hand, drawing her out of the kitchen and into the front garden, where Mara was supervising the last of the weeding at Duncan's hand.

It struck Marissa, not for the first time, how easy and comfortable Duncan and Mara were with each other. She knew it hadn't always been that way, but it gave her hope that, in time, she and Emrys could be as happy and comfortable with each other as the other couple. It made her smile to see them so happy, after everything they'd been through. "We're going to head home," Marissa told them as she and Emrys approached, hand in hand. She would have called first, but neither Duncan or Mara seemed fond of telephones.

It wasn't a surprise that Marissa and Emrys were off again, but the mere fact that they had visited at all was a huge step for them both. Anxious that they shouldn't feel any expectation to behave in a certain way or stay beyond their comfort, Mara didn't mind waving them off so soon. In time, they'd grow more comfortable to visit and be visited. "Take care," she told them warmly. "And thank you for coming, it was lovely to see you both."

"We'll be back soon!" Marissa promised. They were practically neighbors, after all, even if the woods where the cabin was located was a few miles away. It went without saying that if they were going to help each other, it wouldn't be long before they got together again. "Thank you for having us," Marissa added. She would have hugged her friend, but she was strangely reluctant to let go of Emrys' hand.

"Take care!" Duncan echoed his wife's warm wishes. "We'll be by soon to help with the garden," he promised.

"Give us a couple of days to make plans, and we'll come by again," Emrys nodded to the other couple, already making his way to the gate and the trail beyond.

Mara waved to them, perfectly understanding the reluctance to let go of one another. After their fractious night and morning, she didn't blame them for needing a little more contact than they were prepared to admit to out loud.

Duncan watched the other couple quietly until they had turned the corner and were out of sight before turning back to Mara. "Do you think they'll be all right?" he asked, with a worried frown on his face.

"As long as they keep talking to each other, yes," his wife replied with enviable confidence. She pushed off the fence, wiggling her hands at him with a teasing smile. "Get weeding, garden monkey."

But now that they were alone, he was having none of her busy-work, moving to his feet to pull her close, his arms going around her waist, her baby bump between them. "We've got the house to ourselves for a few hours before dinner, and you want to waste time weeding the garden?" he teased.

Laughing, she let him draw her close, curling her arms about his neck. "Well, we can't make a baby," she pointed out impishly. "Or there'll be a queue." She grinned up at him, rising onto her toes to kiss him tenderly. "But I'm sure you can think of something to pass the time, love."

"I'm glad you have so much faith in me," he replied, sweeping her up into his arms to carry her back into the house. It wasn't often they had the house to themselves, and the weeds could wait a little while longer.

Already a ways down the road, Emrys abandoned Marissa's hand to wrap his arm about her shoulders as they walked. "So, I think we can safely say that horses do not like me," he finished telling her about his encounter with Thunder, chuckling a little. "Duncan seems sure he'll come back, though."

"He will," she agreed. "Once he realizes we're gone." She sighed, frowning a little. "I don't think he likes me either. You should have seen us trying to get him through the portal."

He squeezed her gently. "We smell like predators," he reminded her. "Some animals will never be able to override that instinct to escape us. That isn't necessarily a bad thing. I don't know how to ride, after all. What use do I have for a horse?"

"Neither do I. There's never been much need," she replied, in complete agreement, happy to be with someone who at least understood that. "I wanted to apologize again for before. I never meant to hurt you or make you angry," she added with a worried frown, wishing they could start the day over again.

"One apology is enough, kitten," he told her gently. "I know it was not your intention. It wasn't my intention to hurt you, either. But that is done, and over with, and lingering on it will only make moving on harder." He kissed her temple as they walked, remembering what he and Duncan had talked about. "And I want to move on with you. I want to have a future with you. And ....if it is possible ....to find a way to fix my problem so there is no danger in such a future for you."

Emrys

Date: 2016-04-08 22:54 EST
"Fix your problem?" she echoed, arching a brow as she lifted her head from his shoulder to look over at him. "What do you mean exactly?" she asked, wondering if he wanted to find a way to stay human or physically shift to wolf form.

"I don't know," he admitted thoughtfully. "Perhaps it isn't physically possible for me to shift into a wolf. If it was possible, that would be ideal. To be able to run with you on four legs ..." He smiled at the thought. "But if it isn't possible, then some way of removing the moon's influence over my mind when she's full would be better. To keep you safe from me in your own home, sweetling."

"You would do that for me?" she asked, coming to a halt where they were and turning to face him, her hands coming to rest against his arms. "You don't need to change because of me, Emrys. I love you as you are, but I don't like seeing you suffer," she added with a frown, remembering the pain and the anguish he had suffered the previous night. She could not imagine him going through that month after month for the rest of his life.

"Do you think I enjoy knowing that you are suffering with me?" he countered fondly, laying his hands comfortably at her waist. "I would risk everything for you, Marissa. I don't want you to have to watch that terrible change every month for the rest of our lives. If there is a way to fix me, one way or the other, I will take it."

"We will find a way together," she promised him, not for the first time. In the end, it was his choice to make, not hers, but she'd be there for him and stand behind him, no matter what choice he made. "I wanted to tell you ..." she started, that frown making itself known again. "About before ....What I said about romance. All I wanted to tell you was that I don't need to be romanced. I don't need flowers or presents or diamond engagement rings. All I will ever need is right here in front of me. All I ever want is you."

He absorbed this, letting her speak. It was clear now that they had been approaching the same thing from two very different mindsets, each one trying to steer the encounter toward some fantasy that could never be real for either of them. This was real - their honesty and intimacy with one another. "And what if I want to romance you?" he asked her, half-teasing. "Will you beat me with the flowers I give you, or should I just use them to decorate the pretty cake I'll make to apologize for even trying?"

She couldn't help but smile at his questions, amused even at his teasing now that their emotions were not so heightened by the events of the previous night. "If you want to romance me, I won't argue. And I certainly won't beat you with any flowers you try to give me, but do you understand what I'm trying to say' You don't have to do any of those things to win my love, Emrys. My heart belongs to you, and nothing you say or do will change that."

"I understand," he promised her, leaning close to brush a soft kiss to her lips. "What you feel for me, I feel for you. We still have much to learn about each other, sweetling, but we will learn it in time. And none of it will change my heart or my mind." He pulled her closer, leaning in to growl playfully against her lips. "You're stuck with me, get used to it."

She actually giggled as he pulled her close and growled against her lips. Making no move to resist him, her arms went about his neck, a soft smile on her face that was just for him. "Poor me. Whatever will I do?" she teased back, touching her nose to his.

"Grow pigs and raise cabbages with me forever," he suggested, glad to see her smiling and laughing in his company. One argument had not broken their trust in one another, or their enjoyment of one another. It was warming to know.

"Now that sounds romantic," she teased back, touching a fond kiss to his lips. "Come along, wolf. Let's go home before it gets dark." While the pigs and cabbages might not sound very romantic to someone else, it was the sound of forever that touched Marissa's heart, hoping that from this day forward neither of them would ever be lonely again.

A tiger and a wolf, both broken in their own way. Forever might seem too long for others, but for them' It was time enough to fix and mend, and love, until their cracks were gone and their lives done. And who knew" Perhaps their future held more than pigs and cabbages, after all.

((Another long one, but necessary! First argument sorted out, laying plans for the future ....here's hoping the inevitable "meet the mom" that's coming goes well! Huge thanks to my partner in crime, as always. :grin: ))