Topic: Official

Seren Lowell · Date: 2016-12-11 18:20 EST

It was a chilly evening with light flakes of snow drifting from the sky, a hint at the winter to come - the kind of evening that was good for snuggling with your loved one near the fire, but before Dorian could do that with Seren, he had to get her home first. It wasn't a long walk from the studio to the house by the river they both called home, just long enough to turn their noses red and make them want to snuggle.

Once Nutcracker was wrapped up, he was off work for a while, until theater productions resumed sometime after the New Year. What Seren didn't know yet was that he'd made plans for a little holiday surprise; the problem was trying to sort out how to tell her.

All it took was a hint of winter for Seren to break out her winter coat and its colorful accessories, bright stripes matching her hat, scarf, and gloves in a splash of color that warmed the paleness of her skin. She was not as immune to the cold as her brother and mate, and to be honest, she enjoyed the sensation of being cold anyway. Walking along with Dorian, she was all smiles and bright eyes, and babbling nervously about what she'd let herself be talked into.

"I know it's only one scene, but it's dancing, and I never thought I could dance," she was saying as they wandered through the falling flakes together toward the river and the house they shared. The only reason they'd decided to take the Adult Ballet class at De Luca Dance in the first place was because they'd tried the couples' class and hadn't been able to take it seriously enough for the instructors' peace of mind. "I'm just glad I don't have to wear a tutu!"

"You'd look adorable in a tutu, but I don't think it would fit the scene," he pointed out with a dimpled grin that matched his twin brother Neville's almost exactly, except for the fact that Dorian's face tended toward scruff, where Neville was almost always clean-shaven. Though twins, the two brothers were as different as night and day. "And don't you dare suggest I wear tights or a ....what do they call those things" A cod piece?" he asked with a smirk.

"I think Anya calls Tony's a military issue jock strap," she offered with a wicked giggle. Their first real experience of the professional ballet dancers at the Shanachie had been enlightening. She hadn't realized just how much fun they had at work, even when they were working their butts off. "Be glad we're not all going to be made up as grandparents. Parents is weird enough!"

He had to admit that as hard as they worked, they were having an awful lot of fun, but then that was partly why he'd gone into theater in the first place. Even during the most difficult of productions, he was always smiling and having a good time, which made things enjoyable for the entire cast, not just himself. "I'd say it's good practice, but I doubt ballet is a necessary skill to being a good parent," he remarked with a grin.

"Well, it comes to something when ten year olds are showing me how to do what they think are really simple moves," Seren snickered cheerfully, tucking her arm through his as they walked along. "At least you'll have a good couple of weeks off before you'll have to dive into rehearsals for the next one."

"Yeah, about that ..." he started, that grin fading a little. He wasn't sure why, but asking her to go away with him made him nervous - probably because he was afraid she might say no. "How would you feel about taking a few weeks off with me?"

Contrary to what he might have feared her reaction to be, Seren's face lit up in a delighted smile. "On holiday?" she asked brightly. "Wouldn't that be lovely' Somewhere away from work and street slush, somewhere I can tire you out without worrying about either one of us needing to be anywhere. That sounds wonderful - where should we go?"

"Ummm ..." he murmured uncertainly a moment. "Finland?" he asked, as if pulling that destination out of thin air. Of course, he hadn't, but there wasn't much point in planning a surprise if she knew all about it.

There was a pause as she tried to work out where he meant. Unfortunately, she didn't have a huge amount of experience with any Earth, so the destination was a mystery to her. "Where?"

He chuckled at the confusion on her face. "Do you trust me?" he asked, coming to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk not quite all the way home and turning to face her. Before he went any further, he needed an answer to that question.

The look on her face was comical as he drew her to a standing point in the middle of the street. "I could be insulted that you feel the need to ask that," she pointed out in amusement, but her smile was all the reassurance he needed. "Of course I trust you. You even have a key to my dark room, you don't think that's trust?"

"I'd rather have the key to your heart," he said, as he went down on one knee in front of her to the obvious amusement of any passersby. "Did my heart love till now" Forswear it, sight! Fore I ne'er saw true beauty till this night," he recited, taking her hand, while he laid the other against his heart.

"What makes you think my heart's locked?" she asked, rolling her eyes as he knelt down on the snow-wet ground. "Oh gods ..." Wracking her brain for some quotation she could throw back at him, all that came out was, "You shake my nerves and you rattle my brains; too much love drives a girl insane; you broke my will, but what a thrill; goodness, gracious, great balls of fire?"

That got a smirk out of him, but like any good actor, it wasn't enough to make him break character. He stuck a hand into a pocket of his jacket and withdrew something round and shiny, which he then held out to her, while still taking hold of her hand. "Seren Lowell, wouldst thou make me the happiest man in all the multiverse by marrying me and becoming my wife?"

Given that her hand was still in her glove, getting that round and shiny onto her finger was going to be an interesting challenge. "Marry you and become your wife, hmm?" she teased in return. "What if I only want to do one of them?" He should have known better than to think his mate would ever take even a marriage proposal seriously.

He leaned in to lower his voice for her ears alone, serious about the proposal, but maybe not so much about how he was going about it. "They kind of go together," he whispered before closing his fingers about the ring so he didn't lose it while he tried to pull his glove off the other hand with his teeth.

"I'm sensing that's not the nipple or clit ring we were discussing," she added, utterly shameless. The more she teased, the more interested their audience was getting in the outcome. She bent down, touching the tip of her nose to his. "How much more embarrassing do you think I can be?" she murmured playfully.

He muttered something unintelligible, mostly because he still had his glove in his mouth, and nodded to her hand, as if to indicate that she should do the same, chuckling a little at her brashness. There was at least one gasp among the crowd, while a few people hurried away, and the rest merely laughed. He seemed to consider her question with a few nods of his head, until he shoved the discarded glove into a pocket for safe keeping. "Just answer the question. Yea or nay?"

Seren Lowell · Date: 2016-12-11 18:21 EST

Laughing, Seren pulled her left glove off, wiggling her fingers in his direction. "Darling, I let you between my legs and persuade me to get up on a stage," she pointed out cheerfully. "If that doesn't make me wife material, I have no idea what does. So ....yay?"

"No, yea," he corrected, hearing the difference in the two words, though they sounded almost exactly alike. It was something about a difference in the emphasis placed on the "ay" part of the word or something.

She paused, mugging for all she was worth just to stretch out the silliness a little longer. "Yay," she repeated, deliberately not using the word he was asking for. "Yay' Yeah-yeah-yeah?"

"She loves me, yeah-yeah-yeah," he sang, doing his best impression of John Lennon, as he slid the ring upon her finger. Upon closer examination, she'd notice that the diamonds were clustered in the shape of a half moon - a symbol that was particularly meaningful for them.

Grinning, she leaned down, catching his lips with hers as the frankly relieved group who had stopped to watch this piece of impromptu street theater applauded and went about their business. "I love you," she murmured against his lips, drawing her hand down from his neck to look closer at the ring. "Oh, Dorian ....it's beautiful."

He beamed a happy smile back at her, even as she kissed his lips and he moved to his feet to wrap his arms around her waist. "Love you, too, Seren," he murmured back, remotely aware of the small crowd of people who'd applauded before dispersing quietly around them, the show for the most part over.

One older gentleman gave his shoulder a pat as he walked past and muttered a quiet, "Well done, young man."

Seren just about held in her snort of laughter at the warm approval Dorian got from the older gentleman before he moved on. "So ....how did a conversation about going on holiday turn into a proposal?" she asked with curious amusement, too cold to study the ring for long before stuffing her hand back into her glove.

"You haven't put two and two together yet?" he asked, retrieving his own glove from his jacket and shoving his fingers into it before taking her hand to continue on their way. He didn't think it was all that hard to figure out, and he knew she'd make the connection before long.

She thought this over for a moment as he tugged her along, and abruptly stopped, comprehension dawning with laughably comical surprise on her face. "No," she breathed disbelievingly. "We're getting married in less than a month' In this Finnan place?"

"You did say yea," he reminded her, that dimpled grin still on his face, his eyes bright with amusement. "Don't worry. Neville and I have already made all the arrangements. All you have to do is buy a dress and pack," he said, as if that was easily accomplished.

"So that's why Demi wants to take me out shopping on Monday morning," Seren nodded, finally putting all the bits and pieces together. "We're really getting married this time. Oh my gods!" With a squeal, she launched herself into his arms, wrapping her legs about his hips as she peppered his face with excited kisses.

"What do you mean, this time?" he echoed, laughing as he caught her in his arms, hands moving to support her weight as she wrapped herself around him, stumbling back only a few steps before he regained his balance. Thankfully, he was more than capable of handling her weight and in the best health of his life since he'd been turned.

She giggled. "Well, you know, we kind of failed dramatically to get married in September," she pointed out. Her smile faded in concern, though. "What about Kit and Delilah?" she asked him, genuine worry coloring her expression. "Can we get them to Finnan to see you get married?"

His smile faded at her question, as he was forced to put on the performance of a lifetime. "I'm not sure. It's a pretty busy time of year for them," he told her, though he knew otherwise. What she didn't know wouldn't hurt her, and telling her the truth would ruin the surprise. "But Nev and Demi will be there," he quickly added, as if that would make up for Kit and Delilah's absence.

It said a lot for how easily Seren had fallen into close friendship with Dorian's friends over the summer that her expression was sad at the thought of their absence from his wedding. But still, not all was lost. "Is Neville going to stand up with you?" she asked him, forcing the sadness aside to smile.

"He's going to stand up for me, and I'm going to stand up for him," he replied, letting that sink in a moment. He could have just come out with it all at once, but it was a lot more fun watching her reaction as he revealed the bits and pieces of their plan. "And it's Fin-land, not Finnan," he added with a grin.

It took a moment for that to sink in. "They're getting married, too?" Cue another squeal as her feet kicked, arms thrown around his neck once again to squeeze tightly. "This is so cool! So, so ....Okay, Fin-land. Is it a hot place" Bikinis on a beach, or what?"

"Um, no, not exactly," he replied, looking a little worried again. Would she be disappointed when she found out they weren't getting married on a beach, but an entirely different setting" "It's, uh ..." He wondered if he should cop out and let Demi explain when the two of them went shopping. "It's a little colder than that." Okay, a lot colder!

"Good, because, believe me, you do not want to see me in a bikini," Seren told him, smiling cheerfully as she finally let her legs down. "Seriously. I look okay naked, and I'm fine fully clothed, but put me in a bikini, and I look deformed. Four breasts, two asses, and something really weird happens to my ankles."

He laughed, his worries pushed aside by her comical reply. "Sweetheart, I've seen you in a bra and panties and you do not look deformed." He'd never really understood why women were so self-conscious of being seen in their underwear, but were willing to brazenly strut about in a swimsuit that left even less to the imagination.

"Bras and panties have support built in," she pointed out with a smirk. "Bikinis ....they're just scraps of material to keep your nipples from offending anyone sensitive who might see you." She squeezed his hand, pulling him around the corner to their street. "So colder than a beach, huh' And you hesitated, so ....it's so cold it doesn't even snow?"

"No, it snows, I think," he replied, though he wasn't too sure now that she'd mentioned it. They were going to Finland, not Antarctica, after all. "Would you rather get married on the beach?" he asked, uncertainly. It wasn't too late to change plans, was it"

"No!" Laughing, she pulled him to the front door, fumbling for her key. "Don't be silly, it sounds amazing! And you did it all without me knowing about it, that is incredibly cool." She blew him a kiss, unlocking the door. One gloved hand fisted in his jacket to pull him inside, out of the chilly weather.

Seren Lowell · Date: 2016-12-11 18:21 EST

He opened his mouth to say something, but before he had a chance, he stumbled as she yanked him inside out of the cold to bump into her. "Well, hello, little girl. What would you like for Christmas?" he asked, as his arms wound about her waist.

"I've raised naughty to an art form, Santa, so I think I should get a doggie with a big bone," was her smart reply as the door swung shut behind him, her grin wide and warm as she looked up at him. The warmer air was already turning her chilled nose and cheeks ruddy, making her look even more like a naughty child than she usually did when she teased him.

"Oh, you are a naughty girl. Maybe I should give you a spanking," he replied with a grin, perfectly happy to play along. He touched a kiss to her nose, just as he gave her rear end a playful squeeze.

"Awww, but can't you think of something nicer you'd rather do to my butt?" she asked innocently, pulling away with a giggle to begin divesting herself of her winter garb. Hat, scarf, coat, gloves ....and as the gloves came off, she paused, admiring the sparkling crescent moon on her finger.

"I think of several somethings, but that depends on your mood," he replied, not bothering to say what those things were. He peeled off his own scarf and hat and gloves, peeking over her shoulder to see her admiring the engagement ring he'd just given her. "Did I do good?" he asked, curiously as he unbuttoned his coat.

Her smile was softer now than it had been out on the street, no performance in the way she looked up at him. "You did really good," she assured him tenderly. "It really is lovely, Dorian. It's exactly the kind of thing I would have picked out for myself."

"Really?" he asked, not sure if she was telling the truth or just saying that to make him feel better. "I just want ot make you happy, Seren," he told her, echoing the very same words his brother had recently said to Demeter.

"Really," she promised, turning to touch a soft kiss to his lips as she cuddled into his arms. "You know me. I have no control over my mouth; if I didn't like it, you'd know by now. I love it. I love you. I don't need anything to make me happy but you, baby."

"Should I take it back then?" he teased, unable to hide the smirk from his face. He had no intentions to do any such thing, but he couldn't help but tease her, all the same. He pulled away, just long enough to shrug off his coat and hang it on a hook.

"No!" Even as she squealed her response to that tease, she grabbed her left hand in her right and hugged it close to her chest. "Try it, and I'll bite you, and not in a nice way," she threatened, protecting her new - and only - bit of sparkle fiercely.

He laughed at her reaction, calling her bluff. "Don't worry. I'm only teasing," he told her, leaning in to touch another kiss to the tip of her nose. "So, what now" I was thinking hot chocolate and snuggling in front of the fire." And whatever came natural.

"Mmm, that sounds nice," she smiled, uncurling her hands to brush her palms to his chest as she stole another kiss of her own from him. "I'll light the fire, you make the chocolate," she bargained with a wink, already planning on switching on the Christmas lights strewn all over the main room before she got started.

A few lines of an old song came to mind at that suggestion, but he only smiled at the thought, rather than shared it. "Does it ever scare you to know how domestic we've become?" he asked, as he started toward the kitchen to make the hot chocolate.

"Should it?" she called back to him. To be fair to her, her way of life had not changed much since Dorian came bounding into it. She'd simply made room for him with the greatest of ease, finding herself laughing far more with him than she ever had on her own. "Ask me again after the first litter."

"The first what?" he called back as he put the milk on to warm and the chocolate to melt, doing things the old fashioned way because instant hot chocolate just wasn't the same. His life had arguably changed far more than hers had since they'd met - no more life on the road for him.

"Litter," she repeated laughingly. Satisfied with the twinkle of the electric lights both strewn around the room and decorating the Christmas tree out on the riverside porch, she turned her attention to building the fire, glad they'd made a point of bringing the wood in that morning rather than leave it until later. "You know ....pups" Babies?"

"Pups?" he echoed, though he supposed that made sense. They hadn't really discussed children much, and he wasn't really sure how it all worked now that he was part wolf.

Concentrating on encouraging the flame before her, Seren couldn't very well go into the kitchen to have this conversation face to face. "Yeah," she called back to him. "Children. Lycans like us have two or more at a time, didn't I tell you that' We're still like wolves in that regard - multiple births, rather than one at a time."

He thought he remembered hearing something about that somewhere along the way, but he wasn't sure. A lot about the time he'd been turned was fuzzy in his mind, but he'd been pretty sick, and then, he'd been attacked by another lycan who'd seemed determined to see him dead. No further sound came from the kitchen as he tried to puzzle that one out, wondering if they were born as human babies or pups.

The silence from the kitchen brought a curious frown to her face, wondering if he was okay with the thought of having children at all. The fire was blazing happily in front of her, licking around the edges of the log she'd set in its midst to burn for the night, so she left it as it was, moving to the kitchen to check on him. "You okay there?"

He seemed to be mulling something over as he gazed into the pan and stirred the chocolate mixture so it didn't burn. "Hmm?" he murmured, glancing at the door to find her watching him. "Yes, I'm just ....trying to sort something out," he explained without really explaining.

"Anything I can help with?" she asked curiously, moving to lean against the counter beside him, her head tilted to watch his face. "I'm still on birth control, if you're worried I'm about to announce that we're pregnant. We're not. Yet."

"No, it's not that." As a matter of fact, he wasn't worried much at all about when she got pregnant. It was more about the how than the when. "I was just wondering ....you said a litter of pups. Does that mean our children will be born as baby wolves?" he asked curiously and a little worriedly.

"Oh ..." To her credit, she did try not to laugh, somehow managing to limit herself to a wide grin as she stroked her hand down his back. "No, I don't mean we'll have a litter of baby wolves," she assured him. "It's just a figure of speech, in this context. I mean ....we'll have twins, or triplets, or even quads. Human-shaped. The first shift of form for a born lycan doesn't happen until puberty."

"And they'll all be ..." He paused to search for the right word before continuing. "....normal?" Or at least normal for lycans, whatever that was. He knew both Seren and her brother Emrys had been born with abnormalities, though those abnormalities seemed to have plagued her brother far more than they had her.

Seren Lowell · Date: 2016-12-11 18:22 EST

Her smile abruptly faded, knowing he was referring to the oddness that marked now her alone of those who remained of her bloodline. She looked away, keenly aware that though she was a lycan, she would never take the lupine form everyone expected a lycan to be conversant with. "They should be," she said quietly. "A new bloodline should wipe out the defects in my genetics. They'll be true lycans, like you."

"I wasn't born a lycan, Seren," he reminded her, as he touched her cheek to turn her face toward him again, a soft smile on his face. It didn't matter to him whether she was considered defective or not. There was only one night a month that they did not share the same shape, and it was a small price to pay for the life he'd been given.

"You're more lycan than I will ever be," she answered softly, but there was a smile in her eyes as her cheek tilted into his touch, comforted by the fact that he had never judged her poorly for the mistakes of her forebears. It was not her fault that she was not everything they had wished for, after all. "You'll be able to teach our children to run under the moon, how to hunt, how to resist the temptation to attack humans and other sentient beings."

"But I want you there with me," he replied quietly, unable to hide the sadness from his eyes that this was something she could not share with him or with their children. "Isn't there some way we could make it happen" Emrys couldn't shift, but he can now. Couldn't the same be true for you?" he asked hopefully. This was Rhy'Din, after all - there had to be a way somehow.

"I don't know," she said unhappily. "I've never felt the pull of the moon. Even that first time, when Emrys lost his mind and the others shifted their form ....nothing about me changed. The only reason they didn't kill me there and then is because they wanted to breed from me when I was old enough, Dorian. In lycan eyes, I'm weak. Most werewolves would consider me a freak, and wouldn't think twice about killing me for the good of the species."

At first glance, there was nothing obvious about Seren's true heritage. She appeared to be an ordinary human, like so many other humans who populated Rhy'Din, but though she'd never been able to shift, she bore lycan blood, lycan DNA. "But Emrys only shifted when he was pushed to it. Couldn't the same thing happen to you?" he asked, though he didn't want to repeat the events that had pushed Emrys to it. In truth, he wasn't even sure she wanted to shift. Maybe she was happy just as she was. "I'm sorry. It just doesn't seem fair. I'm the one who was born human, not you."

"Like I said, baby, I don't know," she shrugged, smiling gently. "I'm a consequence of a bad decision made generations before I was born. A warning, if you like. Everything about me is lycan, except the shift. Would I like to be able to change with you, to know what it is to be a wolf, a real wolf" Of course I would. But I don't know how to do that. All I can do is hope that you and our children are never ashamed of me."

"Ashamed?" Dorian echoed, unable to hide the shock in his voice that she'd even consider such a thing. He cupped her face in his hands so that she could not turn away, so that she'd see the sincerity in his gaze and hear it in his words. "Seren, I love you. I will always love you, no matter whether you can shift or not. I could never be ashamed of you, and our children won't be either. Emrys isn't, Marissa isn't. Why would I be? I wasn't born lycan, Seren. I don't share those prejudices. I only wish you could shift with me, so that we could share it together and with our children. It's still ....strange to me. Like a dream sometimes," he said, his thoughts wandering a little to his own experience. He shifted his gaze just in time to catch sight of the milk before it boiled over and moved to turn the burner off.

She smiled as he reassured her, knowing he didn't really know how deep those prejudices ran. He had never seen her among true lycans - Emrys was like her, Marissa was something else entirely, even Demeter had been rejected by her pride for being different. They were all misfits in their own way, banded together into a pack that was far stronger than they gave themselves credit for. "I wish I could share it with you," she admitted softly. "There's only one thing I can think of that might do it, and even then I'm not sure it would work."

He was almost afraid to ask, but now that she'd mentioned it, he had to know. He poured the hot chocolate mixture into two mugs and topped it off with a bit of whipped cream. "What's that?" he asked, as he handed her one of the mugs.

She sighed thoughtfully, taking the mug into her hands. "You could bite me," she said simply. "Not a small bite, the way Emrys did with you. I'm still lycan enough that I heal fast. I'd need to be damaged enough that the venom would have a chance to work into my blood before the wound healed up. And even then, we wouldn't know until the next full moon."

His widened in stunned shock at her suggestion. Thankfully, he hadn't yet taken up his own mug or he might have dropped it. "Bite you! Seren, I can't ....Bite you while I'm a wolf or a werewolf or ..." He trailed off, unable to imagine himself doing such a thing, causing her such pain, only for his own selfish reasons. Then again, what if she asked it of him' Did he dare deny her" Emrys could do it just as easily as him, but if she was to try, he thought it should be him who did it.

"While you're a wolf," she clarified, reaching up to touch one warm hand against his cheek, holding his gaze to hers. "You're the only one who could do it safely, love. I'm your mate; even in wolf form, you wouldn't be able to kill me. It goes against instincts that are so deeply rendered they're impossible to fight. If another wolf did it' If they lost control, even for a moment, I'd be dead. But it seems like such an awful thing to ask you to do."

"I don't know, Seren," he told her, his gaze full of sadness and worry. Yes, he wanted her with him when he turned. He wanted her to experience the same joy, the same freedom, together as mates in every sense of the word, whether human or wolf, but the risk was too great. He'd never forgive himself if he lost her, but then this wasn't his choice to make. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I just ....I wish I could share this with you. I know it's only one night a month, but I miss you. I would do almost anything to have you there with me, but it's too dangerous."

Her own eyes were sad, but she wouldn't push him. "Then I won't ask you to do it," she promised him softly, rising onto her toes to kiss him with tender lips. "I miss you on those nights, too, but I won't ask you to do anything you are not happy to do. If it can be done, we'll find another way. If not, we already know how to live with this."

He nodded, satisfied for the time being by her answer. It was too much to ask of him, to put her life at risk just to satisfy his own selfish desires. It was only one night a month, after all. He would not risk her life for that. He drew comfort from her kiss, touching her cheek with tender fingertips as he kissed her in return. She was too precious, too loved by him and by others. If there was another way, they'd find it; and if there wasn't, they'd learn to live with it. "I'm sorry," he whispered against her lips, before touching his forehead to hers. He didn't want to disappoint her, but that was just too much to ask.

A single bite, too much to ask. Seren fought to keep her disappointment from showing as he kissed her, closing her eyes at the feel of his forehead against her own. She didn't want to show him sad eyes, or the beginning of tears, not today, not when he had promised her a holiday, a wedding day, and given her a beautiful ring to seal that promise. She would just have to hope for a miracle, it seemed. It was obvious that Demeter would turn Neville at some point, probably quite soon, and once that was done, Seren truly would be the freak, even in their little band of misfits, the only one left behind each month as the others ran out under the moon. But that thought of being left behind was so lonely, so painful, that she lost the tight hold she had on her emotions, groping to set her mug down in the moments before a sob burst from her lips, sending her burrowing close into Dorian's arms.

Seren Lowell · Date: 2016-12-11 18:23 EST

If he'd expected any reaction for her, it wasn't tears, and even as he pulled her into his embrace, he felt his heart breaking. "I'm sorry," he whispered again, burying his face in her hair as he held her close, his own eyes filling with tears. Why was she crying" Was it really so much to ask if it meant this much to her" "Seren, I'm sorry. Please don't cry," he pleaded, his voice tight with unshed tears of his own. "If it means that much to you, I'll do it. For you. I just ....I can't bear the thought of losing you, if something goes wrong."

"I don't want to be left behind," she wept against his shoulder, holding tightly onto him. "I don't want to have to watch you run away every month, and never be able to join you. I'll have to watch our children do it, too, and ....and it's horrible to think about."

"Seren, love," he said quietly, his voice still pleading with her, feeling lost as to how to comfort her, having had no idea before this moment that she felt this way. "I didn't know," he told her, though he understood what she was saying because he felt the same. Emrys had Marissa, but he was alone in the night. Even when they had children, she should be with them. She shouldn't be alone and left behind, but was this the only way"

She sniffled, wiping her nose and face roughly with her sleeve as she shook her head. "I didn't ....I didn't want to tell you," she admitted. "There's so much joy in the way you run together, it doesn't seem fair to complain about it. But ....Neville will eventually ask Demi to turn him, and then it will only be me who can't, and ....I know when they're small, our children won't be able to turn, but there'll be that day when they're old enough, when they turn, and they realize that I can't, and ....I'll always be the freak. Always."

"You're not a freak," he told her, his voice insistent, as he tipped her head upwards to meet his gaze. "You are the woman I love, the woman I am going to marry and raise a family with and spend the rest of my life with. You're not a freak, just because you can't turn. Yes, I'd love to have you with me, but I can't do it for me, Seren. I can only do it for you. If you really truly want this, then we'll try, but not now. After the play, after the wedding. I promise. But not now. Not tonight. I'm not ready," he said, pulling her close against his chest, terrified he'd lose her if he tried, terrified she'd grow to hate him if he didn't.

"Oh goddess, I didn't mean right away, I just ..." Curling tight into his arms, she breathed out slowly, calmer now that dream didn't seem quite so out of reach. She should really talk to Marissa about it first, she thought, before they actually did it, but at least the possibility was there now. "Soon," she murmured. "But not tonight. I just don't want to be the only one who doesn't know what it is to be that free."

He might have disagreed with her there, if he'd dared speak his thoughts. It wasn't just about freedom. In fact, it was sometimes like being in thrall to the moon, unable to break free of its hold once a month, even if one wanted to. There was no fighting the need to shift; it was as much a part of him now as the need to eat or drink or sleep. He had only agreed to become this to thwart death, but he had grown to accept it and embrace it. Were he able to become wholly human again, would he do it' He wasn't sure, nor did it matter. This was about her, and if it really meant that much to her, he knew he couldn't deny her. "Soon," he echoed after a moment, making a promise he hoped he wouldn't regret

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I didn't mean to force you into it, I really didn't. You don't have to do it. I can cope, I promise. I'm just being selfish." And what did it say for the life she had lead thus far, that even when she had secured his promise to do something he really wasn't sure about, she was giving him a way to go back on that promise that he didn't need to feel guilty about"

It wasn't so much about guilt as it was about fear. He was simply afraid that something would go wrong and he'd lose her. It was that simple, and yet, all of life was a risk, and loving someone was taking a risk with them, knowing you might lose them at any moment, but being thankful for whatever time you had together. He'd thought it selfish of him to try and change her, but now he was realizing it was only selfish of him not to. "No," he started, his voice quiet as he seemed to regain his composure and his determination. "If this is what you really want, I'll do it."

"Thank you." She raised her head, drawing his lips to hers tenderly. "I know you don't really want to do it, but thank you." Her grip loosened a little, no longer that tight grasp that suggested she thought he was about to be taken away from her. "I completely ruined the mood, didn't I?"

"No," he assured her again, touching a kiss to her forehead, a soft smile on his face, even though he was terrified at the promise he'd just made. "If it means that much to you, then we needed to talk about it," he reasoned. "Besides, I'm the one who brought it up, so it's my fault."

"We can talk to Marissa about it," she suggested gently. "Before we decide when and how. She knows more about our breed and healing than anyone I've ever known." And if Marissa said it wasn't to be attempted, then they would have to go back to hoping for that miracle.

"All right, but not tonight," he told her. Tonight was the night he'd made it official, the night he'd proposed. They could talk to Emrys and Marissa tomorrow; tonight was for them. "Drink your hot cocoa before it gets cold," he reminded her with a smile as he reached for her mug.

Seeing his smile return, she relaxed, obediently taking her mug from his hand once again, even as she drew him out of the kitchen and into the festively lit living room. "So ....does it scare you how domesticated we are?" she asked curiously, realizing that was where the conversation had begun in the first place.

He grabbed his own mug before she drew him into the living room, the warmth of the room and the drink and the woman beside him comforting and soothing. "Scare me" No. Does it scare you?" he countered as he drew her down with him to sit by the fire.

She shook her head, sinking down to wrap herself up in him and enjoy the flickering warmth of the fire she had built. "It feels right," she said wonderingly. "Like this is how it's supposed to be. So long as we're happy, I don't care how domesticated we get."

"I never thought my life would be like this," he admitted, as he drew an arm around her to pull her close. "I have no complaints," he admitted with that dimpled, boyish smile back in place. What was there to complain about, after all" He had lost very little and gained so much, not only a woman who loved him, but family and friends and even a renewed sense of health. Though he missed his friends in the traveling theater troupe, this was where he belonged - right here, by Seren's side. Life didn't get any better than this.

"Neither do I," she smiled, glad that he had settled so well to life in a theater that did not move around. It had been a worry, at the start, whether he would be able to embrace the static life he had chosen to be with her, but he seemed to have decided that it was better to be here, than to be without. "What did you think your life would be like?" she asked curiously, tilting her head to look up at him.

He shrugged his shoulders at her question, as if he wasn't really sure. "I don't know. I'm not sure I thought about it that hard. I guess I just figured I'd stay with the troupe, so long as they'd have me. I never really had any reason to settle down, until I met you, and I didn't really know that much about my brother until recently."

Seren Lowell · Date: 2016-12-11 18:23 EST

"Would you have fought Kit over Delilah?" she teased him fondly, toeing off her boots to curl with with absolute comfort in the circle of his arm. "He seems to think you might have. Apparently he wasn't sure she'd say yes until he was certain you were already taken."

"Delilah?" Dorian echoed with a chuckle. "Delilah has always been like a sister to me. Kit just couldn't see it. He couldn't see what was right in front of his face. I kept telling him she liked him, but he didn't believe me. No, I wouldn't have fought Kit over Delilah. Kissing Delilah was like kissing my sister ....if I'd had one," he added just for good measure, amused by her question.

"Well, you do now, sort of," Seren pointed out with impish good humor. "Two, really. Although I don't think you'd come out of kissing Demi or Marissa without a few scars to show off with." She flashed him a wide, teasing grin, polishing off the last of her hot chocolate as she giggled to herself.

"I suppose so," he chuckled at the thought of that. "It's strange to know I have a family now," he admitted further. He'd been alone for too long, except for Kit and Delilah, but that aloneness was over, so long as he was with Seren.

"We all have family now," she agreed softly. "We've all been on our own for too long. Maybe we were always meant to come together like this. No one else would have us, so we made a place for each other, without even realizing that's what we were doing."

"A bunch of misfits," he murmured, even Kit and Delilah, in their own way. Misfits who'd found each other and bonded and made a family of their own, no longer lost or alone, but together. He smiled a little, knowing something she didn't. They'd all be together soon to celebrate the holidays and then the weddings - all of them, though she didn't know that yet.

That secretive smile brought a suspicious echo to her face, but she knew enough to let him have his secret for now. Her eyes strayed to the ring on her finger, sparkling in the firelight. "Are Marissa and Emrys coming to Finnand, as well?" she asked hopefully, though she knew it might be a little much to ask. Their resources weren't inexhaustible, after all.

"He's your brother," Dorian replied, that smile still in place, still a few secrets up his sleeve, even if he let a few surprises slip. "Do you really think he'd miss it?" Their resources might not be inexhaustible, but they weren't alone in this.

"Really?" And there was the childlike delight that had begun on the street outside, brightening her face as she beamed happily. Once again, she threw her arms around his neck, launching herself at him to cover him with kisses. "I love you so, so much!"

Thankfully, he had nearly finished his hot cocoa or he would have spilled it when she threw her arms around his neck. He laughed at her childlike exuberance, glad to make her happy, especially after so many tears. "I know," he replied, a playful smirk on his face.

"We'll have to go and visit Kit and Delilah when we come back," she insisted. "Our whole family should know we finally got around to making it official, and we can celebrate with them and bully them into doing it too!"

"We can do that," he promised, though he knew something she didn't - he knew Kit and Delilah would be there to share their day and make it special in their own way, too, but that was all part of the surprise, and he didn't want to take it away from her just yet.

"Good," she nodded firmly. wiggling closer. A very cheeky look came into her eyes as she glanced out through the riverside French doors, noting that the snow was already laying inches deep. "Ever do it in the snow?"

"Do it?" he echoed, furrowing his brows, wondering if she meant what he thought she meant. "It's ....cold," he pointed out, though now that he was lycan, the cold didn't bother him so much.

"Wanna?" she asked impishly, wiggling her fingers up underneath his shirt to stroke against his skin. One thing he could never accuse his Seren of was prudishness.

"Sure, if you wanna catch your death of cold," he replied with a teasing grin. It wasn't very practical to wander around naked in the snow, unless one shifted to fur rather than flesh, but that wasn't yet possible for her.

She pouted laughingly. "You're supposed to be the impulsive one here, you know," she pointed out in amusement, rolling her hips as she eased closer to him, nose to nose, grin to grin. "I'm supposed to be the practical, calm one."

"I can be impulsive without you catching pneumonia," he replied with a chuckle, as his arms went around her waist to draw her onto his lap. Why make love in the snow when there was no better place than right here"

"I'd only have it for a day," she pointed out, her healing being almost as good as his. Not that she really wanted to catch pneumonia, but the point was worth making. Grinning, she went willingly into his lap, her hands roaming over his back, into his hair, as she teased his lips with a kiss that never quite landed.

He smiled as she teased his lips and felt her fingers in his hair and on his back, his gaze drifting to admire her face and form - everything about her, beauty to behold. "Seren?" he started, as his hands moved around to grasp her hips. "Shut up," he told her before shifting her to her back upon the couch, his body moving to cover hers, like a warm blanket.

Her laughter faded as he laid her down, gathering him into her arms to share her playful giddiness with him in a way that had been theirs since the first day they had met. This was something they would never lose, whether she learned to shift or not. It was the most primal expression of what they shared, a bond deeper than merely love, just as powerful, just as painful, and just as worth it. And in less than a month, she wouldn't be plain Seren Lowell any longer. She would take his name, and finally she would be recognized by anyone they met as belonging to him. Just as he would belong to her.