Maple Grove Manor was the beating heart of the Granger estate outside the city. You couldn't go far within its walls without hearing the voice of the patriarch, Humphrey, or the squeal of the next generation at play. But there was one voice that had been silent for a very long time.
It did not belong to a throat, nor even to a single person, shut away in a special room that had not been used for several years. Once, it had been the much beloved sanctuary of a confused teen, becoming the quiet place for the young adult that teen had become, and in memory of that young person, Humphrey had made sure to keep that silent voice well tuned. So many memories, in a single place.
Kaylee paused in the doorway of the music room, unnoticed by the inhabitants of the manor as she entered. There were the tall windows, bright with afternoon sunlight; there were the racks of instruments, of woodwind and brass and strings, each one a childhood memory of someone in the family. The sheafs of music, original and bought, lay undisturbed in their pigeonholes. She smiled faintly, knowing that her own first scribblings held pride of place in those untouched piles. But there, illuminated by the shaft of sunlight, was her oldest and dearest friend.
Shining black, kept polished and loved even though it had fallen silent, lay the grand piano on which she had learned to play. She knew the sound of each key by heart, the unique sound that only this piano could produce. She had missed it terribly, but only now had she gathered the courage to come back to it. Long fingers stroked over the ivory keys as she took a seat on the wide, long bench, her feet finding their accustomed place on the stops below. And slowly, quietly, she began to play with light fingers the lullaby Humphrey had sung to her, and to so many others, when they were barely more than infants, letting the notes come forth without the need for thought, to haunt these much loved halls once again.
It was the sound of music that drew him - like music had soothed the savage beast, drawing him forth from the study where he'd been contemplating a game of chess with Humphrey, to see who it was that was making music on a piano that had mostly been forgotten. Jon came to a halt in the doorway, surprised to find it was Kaylee there - the one cousin he hadn't quite reconciled with, the one cousin he still felt a little awkward with - though he remembered nothing of what had happened between them before his memory had been stolen. He frowned a little, knowing they'd once been close, but that was before. So much had happened, so much had changed. And suddenly, he felt guilty, like he was seeing something he shouldn't see, watching her quietly there, the music flowing over and through him, touching his heart with some inexplicable bittersweet sadness. She had been there with them when they'd rescued Tiernan and Faolan, and they had barely said two words to each other.
As the music grew in strength, her voice rose to meet it, the words coming so easily to her tongue as she smiled at the memory of Humphrey holding her little brother as he sang it to them both. "....come, let me love you; come love me again ..." Unaware of her audience, Kaylee let the music find its feet, let the piano teach her all over again how to play it the way it had not been played for too many years, and felt a bright smile touch her lips as the song drew to its close. "....like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean; you fill up my senses, come fill me again ..."
The song touched something inside him - a long, lost memory perhaps - as insubstantial as gossamer, buried so deep inside him, he couldn't put his finger on the familiarity of it. It was a memory, of that he was sure, but of what or who, he couldn't be sure. Something from childhood, perhaps - some lost, fragment of memory that belonged to him but would never be wholly his again. He found himself tearing up, a lump forming in his throat, though he wasn't quite sure why, except that it was sad and lovely. He recognized the song, of course, but not why it held such profound meaning for those who'd lived at Maple Grove.
As the last notes died away, Kaylee fell silent, her fingers still stroking against the keys with fondness. Perhaps it was the quality of the silence; perhaps it was simply a learned understanding of when an audience was listening; but she knew she wasn't alone any longer. There was only one person who would stand quiet and not interrupt that quiet spell with applause or cheers in this house. "This seat is big enough for two, you know, Jonny."
Startled that she knew he was there without missing a note or even looking his way, he only stood there silently a moment, unsure whether to stay or go. Nothing was pressing on him at that moment. Emily and Ben were napping, and the house would remain quiet for a few hours yet. And still, he lingered in the doorway. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," he apologized quietly.
She turned where she sat, offering her cousin her smile - not the smile everyone remembered from the carefree Kaylee she had been in her youth, but something older and somehow more liberated. "You're not interrupting," she assure him, patting the seat beside her in invitation. "I figured it'd draw you out if I started playing. Not that I don't love your family, but I wanted to talk to you."
"No one plays anymore," he said, though that wasn't quite true. The piano got a little use at holidays and parties sometimes, but nothing quite so intimate as this. The confession that it was him she'd wanted to draw out with her playing surprised him, though he supposed they had to talk sooner or later. He crossed over to the piano, a small frown on his face. "How did things get so weird between us, Kaylee" Humphrey says we used to be close." Oh, he knew what he'd been told, and he knew he was at least partially to blame, but why had it taken so long to get to this moment"
Her smile faded as she considered the answer to that question. A kind lie would have been easier, but this was Jon, and she had always been honest with him. "You and Correy broke my heart," she said softly, "and I was too young and too selfish to be able to accept that with any kind of grace. First love, Jonny; I thought it would last forever, and it barely even lasted a week. I wasn't very kind to either of you for a long time afterward, and I ran away. It's hard to accept that your own brother thinks so little of you that he'd do that." She frowned, sighing softly as she looked down at the keys. "I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to forgive Correy for what happened. Some things don't "just happen", they have to be at least hoped for in advance. But if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have Taylor."
Jon wasn't so stupid or ignorant of his past not to know what had happened, though he didn't remember it. Correy had been there when he'd awoken, after all, and Kaylee had not. He knew they had both loved him in their own way, and he had betrayed their love, but that wasn't who he was anymore. It wasn't just his life that had been changed by a bullet. "I know apologies will never make up for what happened, and I know you don't have to forgive me, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure the man I was then never meant to hurt you, and the man I am now ..."
He shrugged his shoulders, knowing words were just words, no matter how much he meant them. "When I woke up in that hospital room, everyone was a stranger to me. I was a stranger to myself. I don't remember any of it, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I think some part of me has always cared about you, Kaylee, even if I wasn't sure how to express it. I think I was searching, even then. Just looking for someone to understand me when I couldn't even understand myself."
"Jon, I forgave you a long time ago," she told him. "I watched you struggling with yourself when you came around, and the way you tried so hard not to disappoint everyone who was expecting you to be the same. I'm glad you found Vicki. She's good for you, much better than I would ever have been. And I understand, a little bit, about searching, about suddenly being a stranger." She touched his hand gently. "I'm not here to make you feel bad, Jon, or to go over old ground. You're always going to be my Jonny, the big brother I never had. Even if you don't remember my childhood and the influence you had on me, I do, and I will always love you for being there for me. I'm just not in love with you. You don't compare to Taylor." She smiled teasingly, daring him to take offense.
It did not belong to a throat, nor even to a single person, shut away in a special room that had not been used for several years. Once, it had been the much beloved sanctuary of a confused teen, becoming the quiet place for the young adult that teen had become, and in memory of that young person, Humphrey had made sure to keep that silent voice well tuned. So many memories, in a single place.
Kaylee paused in the doorway of the music room, unnoticed by the inhabitants of the manor as she entered. There were the tall windows, bright with afternoon sunlight; there were the racks of instruments, of woodwind and brass and strings, each one a childhood memory of someone in the family. The sheafs of music, original and bought, lay undisturbed in their pigeonholes. She smiled faintly, knowing that her own first scribblings held pride of place in those untouched piles. But there, illuminated by the shaft of sunlight, was her oldest and dearest friend.
Shining black, kept polished and loved even though it had fallen silent, lay the grand piano on which she had learned to play. She knew the sound of each key by heart, the unique sound that only this piano could produce. She had missed it terribly, but only now had she gathered the courage to come back to it. Long fingers stroked over the ivory keys as she took a seat on the wide, long bench, her feet finding their accustomed place on the stops below. And slowly, quietly, she began to play with light fingers the lullaby Humphrey had sung to her, and to so many others, when they were barely more than infants, letting the notes come forth without the need for thought, to haunt these much loved halls once again.
It was the sound of music that drew him - like music had soothed the savage beast, drawing him forth from the study where he'd been contemplating a game of chess with Humphrey, to see who it was that was making music on a piano that had mostly been forgotten. Jon came to a halt in the doorway, surprised to find it was Kaylee there - the one cousin he hadn't quite reconciled with, the one cousin he still felt a little awkward with - though he remembered nothing of what had happened between them before his memory had been stolen. He frowned a little, knowing they'd once been close, but that was before. So much had happened, so much had changed. And suddenly, he felt guilty, like he was seeing something he shouldn't see, watching her quietly there, the music flowing over and through him, touching his heart with some inexplicable bittersweet sadness. She had been there with them when they'd rescued Tiernan and Faolan, and they had barely said two words to each other.
As the music grew in strength, her voice rose to meet it, the words coming so easily to her tongue as she smiled at the memory of Humphrey holding her little brother as he sang it to them both. "....come, let me love you; come love me again ..." Unaware of her audience, Kaylee let the music find its feet, let the piano teach her all over again how to play it the way it had not been played for too many years, and felt a bright smile touch her lips as the song drew to its close. "....like a storm in the desert, like a sleepy blue ocean; you fill up my senses, come fill me again ..."
The song touched something inside him - a long, lost memory perhaps - as insubstantial as gossamer, buried so deep inside him, he couldn't put his finger on the familiarity of it. It was a memory, of that he was sure, but of what or who, he couldn't be sure. Something from childhood, perhaps - some lost, fragment of memory that belonged to him but would never be wholly his again. He found himself tearing up, a lump forming in his throat, though he wasn't quite sure why, except that it was sad and lovely. He recognized the song, of course, but not why it held such profound meaning for those who'd lived at Maple Grove.
As the last notes died away, Kaylee fell silent, her fingers still stroking against the keys with fondness. Perhaps it was the quality of the silence; perhaps it was simply a learned understanding of when an audience was listening; but she knew she wasn't alone any longer. There was only one person who would stand quiet and not interrupt that quiet spell with applause or cheers in this house. "This seat is big enough for two, you know, Jonny."
Startled that she knew he was there without missing a note or even looking his way, he only stood there silently a moment, unsure whether to stay or go. Nothing was pressing on him at that moment. Emily and Ben were napping, and the house would remain quiet for a few hours yet. And still, he lingered in the doorway. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt," he apologized quietly.
She turned where she sat, offering her cousin her smile - not the smile everyone remembered from the carefree Kaylee she had been in her youth, but something older and somehow more liberated. "You're not interrupting," she assure him, patting the seat beside her in invitation. "I figured it'd draw you out if I started playing. Not that I don't love your family, but I wanted to talk to you."
"No one plays anymore," he said, though that wasn't quite true. The piano got a little use at holidays and parties sometimes, but nothing quite so intimate as this. The confession that it was him she'd wanted to draw out with her playing surprised him, though he supposed they had to talk sooner or later. He crossed over to the piano, a small frown on his face. "How did things get so weird between us, Kaylee" Humphrey says we used to be close." Oh, he knew what he'd been told, and he knew he was at least partially to blame, but why had it taken so long to get to this moment"
Her smile faded as she considered the answer to that question. A kind lie would have been easier, but this was Jon, and she had always been honest with him. "You and Correy broke my heart," she said softly, "and I was too young and too selfish to be able to accept that with any kind of grace. First love, Jonny; I thought it would last forever, and it barely even lasted a week. I wasn't very kind to either of you for a long time afterward, and I ran away. It's hard to accept that your own brother thinks so little of you that he'd do that." She frowned, sighing softly as she looked down at the keys. "I don't know if I'm ever going to be able to forgive Correy for what happened. Some things don't "just happen", they have to be at least hoped for in advance. But if it hadn't happened, I wouldn't have Taylor."
Jon wasn't so stupid or ignorant of his past not to know what had happened, though he didn't remember it. Correy had been there when he'd awoken, after all, and Kaylee had not. He knew they had both loved him in their own way, and he had betrayed their love, but that wasn't who he was anymore. It wasn't just his life that had been changed by a bullet. "I know apologies will never make up for what happened, and I know you don't have to forgive me, but for what it's worth, I'm sorry. I'm pretty sure the man I was then never meant to hurt you, and the man I am now ..."
He shrugged his shoulders, knowing words were just words, no matter how much he meant them. "When I woke up in that hospital room, everyone was a stranger to me. I was a stranger to myself. I don't remember any of it, but that doesn't mean I don't care. I think some part of me has always cared about you, Kaylee, even if I wasn't sure how to express it. I think I was searching, even then. Just looking for someone to understand me when I couldn't even understand myself."
"Jon, I forgave you a long time ago," she told him. "I watched you struggling with yourself when you came around, and the way you tried so hard not to disappoint everyone who was expecting you to be the same. I'm glad you found Vicki. She's good for you, much better than I would ever have been. And I understand, a little bit, about searching, about suddenly being a stranger." She touched his hand gently. "I'm not here to make you feel bad, Jon, or to go over old ground. You're always going to be my Jonny, the big brother I never had. Even if you don't remember my childhood and the influence you had on me, I do, and I will always love you for being there for me. I'm just not in love with you. You don't compare to Taylor." She smiled teasingly, daring him to take offense.