Topic: Letters Back and Forth

Cian Granger

Date: 2012-11-04 16:15 EST
Gabi's letter somehow managed to catch up with Cian a few weeks after it had been sent, amidst the turmoil of events going on in his own life, which had unexpectedly started with a shipwreck. He and the little mermaid who'd saved him from drowning had managed to escape the island where a group of pirates had been trying to kill them, but that wasn't the kind of thing you put in a letter to your sister, and though Gabi's letter made him feel a little homesick, he wasn't yet ready to go home.

Too much had happened there, and Frank's death had only been part of it. There had been too much heartache and loss. He was happy with Leilani, happier than he'd ever been since his mother had died all those years ago, and despite the fact that he missed Gabi, he wasn't yet ready to face the ghosts of his past again.

Still, her letter touched his heart, and he thought the least he could do was let her know he was alive and well and would return home when he was ready. The fact was Cian believed that Gabi didn't really need him, had never needed him. She had Gordon and whoever this Ennis was to give her support. What did she need Cian for? And yet, there had always been a deep bond between them that not even distance seemed able to shake.

Dear Gabi, he wrote, putting pen to paper to start a letter that should have been written a long time ago.

I'm sorry I left. It was selfish of me, especially after Frank's death. I'm a coward, I know. I just couldn't stay any longer. There are too many memories back home. I need some time to figure it all out.

You might as well know, I asked Tera to marry me, but she refused. She said something about not wanting to come between us. I tried to explain that you're my sister, but she wouldn't have any of it, and I couldn't make her understand.

I don't know what else to say about that. I've met someone else since then. Someone very special. I think you'll like her, but I'm afraid to bring her home. I'm afraid what people will think. She's different from anyone I've ever met, Gabi. She's sweet and gentle and innocent, and I don't want anyone to hurt her ever. I think I love her.

I don't know what to say about the baby. I just want you to be happy. Da will come around. Just give him time. You always seem to think you're not really one of us because you aren't blood, but the truth is, you're even more special because you were chosen. It never mattered to me if you were blood or not. You're my sister, and no matter what happens, I'm always going to love you, even if I'm far away.

Try not to worry, Gabi. I'm sorry about Frank. I'm sorry he died because of me. I'm sorry I can't be who everyone seems to want me to be. I'll try to come home when I can. I want to be there when the baby is born. They say for every life that ends, another begins. Maybe that's true. Maybe it's Frank's way of saying that life goes on. Gods, I miss him, Gabi. I miss the way things used to be before Ma died, but life goes on.

I will always love you, always keep you safe in my heart, no matter what. Tell Da not to worry. Tell him I'm happy. Take care of him for me and take care of yourself and the baby. He loves you and needs you more than he cares to admit.

I miss you and hope to see you sometime soon. I'll explain everything then.

Love always, Cian

Unlike Gabi, Cian sent the letter via post, knowing where it needed to go - home to Rhy'Din, to Beecham House, where Gabi lived with their father. He sealed the letter with wax and sent it on its way, hoping it would find its way to his sister safely.

Gabrielle Bradford

Date: 2012-11-23 09:45 EST
Deeply relieved that her first letter had managed to find her brother, wherever he was, and even moreso that he was alive and well and able to write back, Gabi nonetheless took her time in writing her own reply. She didn't want to fill a page with nonsense, knowing that on his adventures there were times when Cian did not have the time to read, much less reply to, a long letter. But even so, there were things that had to be addressed.

Dear Cian,

First and foremost, you're not a coward. I will never believe that you are a coward, so don't try to say otherwise. What happened at the beginning of the year was a horrible, horrible mess, and all of us have tried to get away from it one way or another. If Aunt Miranda hadn't been here, I think Dad would have started drinking again, and we all know that my escape wasn't exactly the healthiest. What matters now is that everyone is moving on, slowly.

I miss Frank, too. It's so strange waking up here these days and knowing that the only person in the house is Dad. He's been talking to me more, about Mom and about what it was like when we were kids, when she was still here, and even though it makes him cry sometimes, it's really good for him. He even talks about the drinking - I never knew he finds it just as hard now to say no as he did when he first cleaned up. I know him better now than I did before, and I'm trying to help him if I can, but I know my circumstances aren't exactly helping him not to worry about me. And I know he worries about you, too. He's just too much of a man to admit to it, just like Frank was.

I'm sorry about Tera. And no matter what you say to me, I know that some of the blame there has to fall on me. I went off the rails at the worst time, and she just caught me when I was in a really bad place. I worried for the longest time that it was all my fault that you and she didn't stay together, but I guess I'm slowly coming to realize that if you two were gonna make it, it wouldn't have mattered what I said or did. It makes me sad, thinking about it. But I promise, I'm not obsessing about it or trying to take the whole blame. I have enough to worry about with being a screw-up myself.

This new girl sounds nice. Well, she's obviously more than nice, or you wouldn't be so careful about telling me about her. Not even a name, seriously' It's not like I've ever met her without introducing her to you, is it' It's been a long time since you even tried to use the big L talking about a girl - I don't want to push you into telling me anything that you're not ready to. But she sounds like the kind of person who'll love you the way you've always wanted to be loved, and if you love her and she loves you, then I'll love her, and so will Dad. It takes a special kind of person to make you fall in love, and she sounds very special. I'd like to meet her, someday, when you two are ready to come home, even if it's just for a little while.

I miss you, Ci. I miss the little things that happen when you're around, like fishcakes for breakfast and hearing you trying to ride quietly up to the house on your bike. I miss your stories and the way you always seem to have something to smile about, even when you're down. I miss being able to curl up on the couch with you and tell you all about my stupid mistakes and worries and the little things in my life that are stressing me out, and knowing that you don't care what I do or what I say. I don't have that with anyone but you, Ci. I didn't even have it with Frank, and Dad doesn't need to know what?s really going on in my head.

Truth is, I'm scared, and it's not about what other people think this time. I found out a few weeks ago that I'm expecting twins, and the fear just got so much bigger. Dad tries to look after me when I'm throwing up, or so tired I can even finish a sentence, but I don't want to upset him by telling him how I'm feeling. And Ennis is a real good friend, but that's all we'll ever be, is friends. I'm glad he's around, that he's gonna be a part of his kids' lives, but ....hell, I don't even know what it is I want.

I want to be a good mom, like our mom was, but I'm nothing like her. She was so brave and open and happy all the time, and I just feel like I'm this empty shell that pretends to be okay and has everyone fooled. The nightmares came back, Ci, like the ones after Mom died, only they're different this time. This time, it isn't me being buried alive, it's my babies and it's me doing it. I'm screaming and crying and promising to be a better mom, and I'm still killing my children. I wake up crying every night, and there's no one there to go to, and I can't tell anyone about it. They all need to know so badly that I'm doing okay and I'm getting on with my life again. I don't want to disappoint anyone.

I'm not complaining, really I'm not. I've got it good; I've got a home and Dad and Ennis, and a job I enjoy. I'm not a strong person, Ci, I'm not like you. I fold as soon as anyone suggests that I should. I gotta grow a backbone, and I got less than five months to do it, or my kids'll be horrible. I don't want to be one of those moms who gives their kids everything just so they'll like me, but I'm so scared they won't. I'm scared I'll be awful, and they'll be taken away from me or I'll hurt them. It wasn't so bad when I thought there was just one baby in there. Now I know there's two, I'm real close to not sleeping at all, and I know that's bad for them. I'm already failing at being a mom, and they're not even born yet.

And I really didn't mean to fill this letter with all my stupid worries, really I didn't. I just miss you, I miss being able to talk to my big brother and hearing him tell me how silly I'm being. I am glad you're safe, and that you're doing something that you're happy with. That you're with someone who makes you feel so wonderful. I'll be all right; I have to be, don't I?

Just you journey safely, and come home in one piece, with your girl. There's always gonna be a place for you here, no matter how far you go to get away from it. I love you, Ci.

Be safe, Gabi

With the GG mages able to repeat the spell that had taken her letter to her brother safely the first time, she delivered it to them that afternoon, already feeling better in herself just for having told her big brother how she was feeling. And already feeling guilty for the way he would feel when he read it. No matter what he thought, Gabi needed her big brother, even if it was only now and then in flying visits. She just hoped his adventures wouldn't keep him away for good.

Gabrielle Bradford

Date: 2013-03-07 08:01 EST
Despite the lack of reply from her previous letter, Gabi resolved to write once again, hoping that this time it might get through. Things were beginning to come to a head, and though she knew his freedom, his adventures, meant everything to her brother, she knew enough about herself to understand that at least some of her anxiety was caused by how much she needed to see Cian alive and well. She needed to know he was okay, and that he wasn't angry with her for getting into this predicament in the first place.

Dear Cian,

It's been nearly four months since I last wrote, and I guess you either didn't get the letter or you just haven't had the opportunity to write back. I hope you're okay, and by okay, I mean alive. Oh, and I hope your new friend is okay, too. What was her name again?

So in four months, what?s been happening here" Well, turns out Jon's got a big brother, Desmond. Miranda bullied him into coming here for Christmas, and he kinda stayed. He got sweet on Piper, and Piper got sweet on him, and it looks like they're going to be living together pretty soon. He got stabbed a couple of weeks back, but it's all okay - apparently it's something to do with some big case he was working on and he was saved by a Fae or something, but he's all good.

Jon and Vicki's baby arrived! 18th February, Emily Rose. She's gorgeous, seriously. Tiny, scrunched up, and a bit grumpy, but Humphrey says all newborns are like that. I wish you could be friends with Jon again; he's completely changed. He really doesn't remember anything before he was shot, and it's really good for him. And he's married and a father, and there's the dog, and ....He's just really settled again.

What else ....Oh! Another new cousin turned up. This one's called Eliot, he's a photographer, he kinda stepped straight into work here and seems like he's settling in. I haven't seen much of him, really, but you know me and strangers.

Kaylee's back in town, and you will not believe what she did at New Year. She only got Robyn and Shon'ge together! Credit where it's due, apparently she talked long and loud about Robyn going for it right where Shon'ge could hear her, and he only took the offer straightwise! Haven't heard much since, but I'm pretty sure we'd know if everything went wrong.

Correy's dropped out of nursing school. Not sure why, I guess it just wasn't his thing. He's so loved up with this invisible Kenny guy, I don't think he'd even notice if he got evicted these days. Seems like he went to Earth, to Ireland, to meet the guy's family, and it's all been pretty quiet since. Maybe he stayed for a while"

There's some kind of mage registration/demon rising thing going on in the Old Temple District recently. It got pretty bad, with people attacking each other and kids getting hurt, so Caroline opened up some of the empty houses in the Grove for people who wanted to move out of the district until it's all under control again. It's sort of like living on the outskirts of a really busy village these days, but everyone I've come across has been really nice to me. I guess it's good for me to meet new people, right"

I hit thirty weeks this week. That's less than two months to my due date, but scarily my doctor says I should expect to give birth after 34 weeks. Four weeks until it's all very real and very imminent, and I'm really not ready. I don't think I'm ever going to be ready for this. Twins, Ci. I'm having twin boys. Ennis is completely over the moon about it, but I'm still scared. I'm still having nightmares, I still think I'm going to suck royally at being a mom. Dad's given up trying to talk me out of it, he's just leaving little notes around the house now when he's heard me freaking out.

I miss you, Ci. I really do. It was so hard when Frank's anniversary came around and you weren't here. I couldn't help Dad at all; he got so low and so sad, and I was just as bad. But I guess me being pregnant helped a bit. He talks more about the babies and how much he's looking forward to being a grandfather than how much he misses Frank. Serendipity, I guess.

I know I shouldn't say this, but I need to. Come home soon, Ci. Even if it's just for a little while. I need to see my big brother.

Be safe, Gabi

Cian Granger

Date: 2013-03-08 22:43 EST
Had it been four months already since Gabi's last letter? So much had happened since then he wasn't sure he could explain it all in a letter. It had certainly been an adventure, one he hoped to one day tell his children or maybe even grandchildren about.

Each of Gabi's letters that arrived had been read and re-read and safely tucked away, his only lifeline to home. He'd hoped to have returned by now. The holidays had come and gone, and he hadn't made it back.

It seemed life was going on without him well enough, except that she missed him. He thought his father probably missed him, too, but Gordon hadn't written. No one had written, but Gabi. He knew they were used to his frequent comings and goings by now, never knowing when he might return.

He'd been happy back home for a little while, but as always, it hadn't lasted. Frank's death had changed everything.

He'd found happiness again these last few months with Leilani, but he knew he couldn't stay away forever. He'd promised Gabi he'd come home before she gave birth, and one way or another, he intended to keep that promise. She seemed to need her older brother, and he had to admit he was missing her, too.

Cian scribbled a quick note to send via mage as soon as he got the chance, hoping it arrived home before he did... Dear Gabi,

I'm sorry I haven't written. I meant to come home for the holidays, but somehow time got away from me. I'm doing well. Trying my best to stay out of trouble. I'm hoping to come home soon. There's someone I want you to meet. Her name is Leilani. She's the best thing that's happened to me in a very long time.

I'm sorry this is short. We're on something of an adventure, and I don't have much time to write. I'll tell you all about it when I get home. I miss and love you more than you know. Don't have the babies without me. I'll be home as soon as I can.

Love always, Cian