And light it Jynxx did, Placing the lighter down with the pack on the bar counter. She knew full well that pack would be gone before the night was over. Taking a deep drag, she waited until after she exhaled before saying a word. A few minutes that most likely would feel like a million years for the impatient woman beside her. "...How much of our youth do you recall" Do you remember back the first time Clip Clop forced his way out of the pit when we were pretty much kids...?" Possibly seeming even more random than Kokabiel's no doubtfully inner thoughts. Jynxx knew her almost better than she knew herself sadly enough. And knew full well that girl's mind were already going a mile a minute. Now here she was, bringing up the dead and gone like it's nothing. Nothing on the outside maybe. On the inside the very mention had her entrails wrenching. But headstrong as she is, Kokabiel were about to find out exactly what she'd missed in that naive mind of hers. Something about her 'toast' with Craig last night snapped something in the back of Jynxx's mind. A simple fact, but so much more complicated than words could ever explain. And that fact is" Simple. She didn't want to fake it anymore. Her goal was clear, bare it all. Here and now. Today, she planned on moving forward for once. Instead of continuously falling in reverse. Pretty reckless for an introverted nearly dead person like her.

When it was lit, she leaned away with the inhale taken. Coating her lungs in smoke until they were nearly filled, she was thankful for that pause to exhale before she nearly choked on her smoke. Well, that's one way to shut up Kokabiel. She blinked, her head tilting as the blonde was suddenly confused. "What does Clip Clop have to do with anything?" Oh, Kokabiel if you only knew. Which...from the sounds of it...Shaking her head, she tried to get back on track from the surprise of the mention of some....thing she hadn't thought about since they'd been rid of him. "Yeah, of course I remember. Mom kinda freaked and put us on fucking lockdown," she scowled. "Couldn't go anywhere without an escort, that's when y'know....I wasn't holed up in Bael's place. Why....are you bringing him up now?" Those eyes narrowed, as if trying to read her sister's mind. She knew Jynxx...or thought she did....like the back of her hand. But in this moment, she was at a loss of direction for where the conversation was going.

"You know lockdown never worked on me. Hell, I taught YOU how to get out of it..." Jynxx heaved a heavy sigh. Attempting her best to muster up the courage to spill what she planned on. "Well, naturally everyone though he'd come at mom somehow yeah?" She paused. Taking another drag from her cigarette. Tilting her head back to exhale a thin stream of the toxic smoke from the depths of her lungs. Reaching ut to slam down yet her next glass of Gin. "Well......we were wrong. Everyone was wrong. Just as he fucking intended. I don't know why not a damn soul seemed to ever give cockless enough credit for his intelligence.....If you want to get at a person, the best way is to cripple their protection right..." Or maybe it was revenge to begin with. But that's not my secret to spill." Another sigh was heaved. Just before her head were buried in her hands once again. "He was after Bael, not mom. And you weren't the means to his end like everyone thought......I was...." By that point Jynxx had reached out to snatch up Kokabiel's whiskey. Taking in a large gulp before holding it out her. Her face immediately returned to it's position buried in that other hand. If Kokabiel were intentive enough she'd easily notice Jynxx were intentionally hiding her eyes. "He got what he was after...."

"Yeah, and sometimes I did, too." Grumbling under her breath, "but there's some things even I can't get passed." Her blue-greens turned onto Jynxx when she started, brows furrowing as she nodded along. One of the few times that she wasn't rambling like an idiot, was when Jynxx was actually talking. "Yeah"....He's always been pining for Mom..." A small interjection before she shut up to listen. Taking the opportunity of her own silence to inhale a heady stream of smoke into her lungs, she turned her head while keeping her eyes on her sister to exhale that plume away from them. Wrong" What were they wrong about' She snorted at the claim of intelligence mentioned about ol' Clip Clop, but she quickly quieted with what came next. She watched Jynxx like a hawk, every movement made. The head in the hands, she didn't object when the bottle was grabbed from her, only to curl her fingers around the neck again when it was handed back. "Bael.." A faint mutter before it was starting to click into place. Those last words were what got her, had her swallowing slowly and setting the booze aside to reach out her hand to grasp Jynxx's arm. "Jynxx....what did he do"" There was pleading there. In her eyes, in her face, in her voice. She didn't really want to know, but she did. She needed to know. She felt like Jynxx needed her to know. "Hun, tell me what happened." Her voice was no more than a whisper, she blinked rapidly at the tears that were swarming in her own blues at the sinking feeling in her gut.

"Wrong question Kokabiel...." Jynxx didn't even bother trying to object to Kokabiel's grasp. She couldn't even if she wanted to. Reliving memories in her head, she were stuck. Petrified. Yet somehow, throughout it all...She managed to find an ungodly way to muster the strength. Though the quivering were impossible to dismiss. it were enough to be visible. Even more so felt in Kokabiel's hand. "What DIDN'T didn't he do is a better one.....I screamed....I cried....Fuck....I even begged. No one came.....I know for CERTAINTY I called Bael's name at least twenty fucking times....No one ever came. No one stopped him....And all he did was laugh at me. Called me weak, pathetic....That...That i wasn't even worthy enough to be Lilith's Daughter....That I was just a reject pet. No one would ever care about me....That..." By that point there was no animosity left in her voice. Instead, it was shaky. Cracked. Even somewhat squeaky. Between the pauses of sniffling, and her constant trembling. It wasn't hard to realize she were crying into that hand of hers. "He convinced me I only existed to be a distraction from you. And I believed it. Bael HAD to know what was going to happen. He had Astarte. A way to predict the future. And he let it.....He made it happen..." Motioning for the next drink with one hand without lifting her head even so much as an inch. She stayed quiet until it arrived. And when it did she downed it instantly. That short moment of a display of her face were enough to display her pain. As streams of clear liquid slipped down her face the moment she tilted back. Taking another drag of her cigarette before returning to her lowered position. Exhaling the smoke onto her own forearm with absolutely no care of the risk of smoke in her eyes. ".....He MADE me hate....Hate everyone....B-But the worst is....He made me hate existing..." For another moment she paused. Growing completely silent for a time. And when she tried to speak again it came out hoarse. Barely audible. "Almost everything I've done since then was to....T-to hurt Bael. Everything. Anything.....A-and....When he gave up on me...." And that was it. By that point her words died in a mixture of heavy breathing and straight up balling. Obvious breakdown. In front of any and all who were around to witness.

Her hand was there, but that was it for now. It was just that. Comforting contact. And she didn't trust the rest of her body as she was fighting her own trembling. They say that when you're left to think about scenarios on your own, that your mind will fabricate the worst case scenario. But as Jynxx went on, leaving Kokabiel speechless and lost in both the woman's voice and her own thoughts, she coming to realize that the worst case scenario that Kokabiel could ever imagine....Samael had done so much worse. She didn't know when she'd started crying herself, but when she finally moved to scoot the bottle into Jynxx's hand, droplets of tears stained her pants leg. She didn't care, didn't swipe them away. The only thing that mattered was listening and hanging onto her sister's every word. She wanted to object about Bael with every fiber of her being. She wanted to defend him, but...Jynxx was right. How could he not know when his daughter was a prophet that could see past, present and future with a blink of an eye' By the end of it, Kokabiel was right there with Jynxx. The tears weren't her own, they were for Jynxx. The sorrow wasn't her own, but Jynxx's. The empathetic, emotional sap was writhing inside but she didn't care about that. "Sweetie, come here," that's when she finally moved, her hand on Jynxx's arm tugging her and if the woman let her, she'd be enveloping her in a warm hug that was solely Kokabiel's. It was one of those hugs that was almost too tight, protective. "He's gone, he can't hurt you anymore. I can't believe you've been holding this in for so long, and no one....we never knew.." A sob tore free but she swallowed it down. "Do you wanna get out of here?" It was a whisper, a cracking whisper. Then, firmly as if she'd made up her mind. "You're staying with me tonight." Pulling away from the hug, she was in full Kokabiel mode as trembling fingers pushed away those blonde locks from her sister's face, thumbs brushing at tears to wipe them and completely neglecting her own. "Fuck Bael, fuck everyone. You've taken care of me my entire life, it's my turn. I'm here, no matter what. You wanna fuck shit up" We'll fuck shit up. You wanna sit on the couch in ice cream caked sweatpants, let's do it. Anything you want, anything you need. You name it. I'm here, and I'm not leaving you."

For a time Jynxx did nothing. Nothing but let the pain bleed from her fer eyes. She couldn't. Trapped in the cycle. It hurt, but it felt right to let it out. She didn't even bother to push Kokabiel away. Which were completely unlike her. Hell, showing any pain were completely unlike her to begin with. But that all changed, like flipping on a switch, the moment the words "fuck Bael" Escaped Kokabiel's lips. She let the girl talk, but the entire time she stiffened, and remained that way. Alas, the moment 'I'm not leaving you' escaped her lips Jynxx tried to shove her away. "What the fuck makes you think you have the right to even say that"! Since the day you were fucking born that man has been shoved up your ass! You are NOT me Kokabiel, don't you DARE attempt to condemn someone for MY shit! This is my burden, my hate. Not yours!" That lashing out seemed to subside almost as quickly as it arrived however. With a few more moments of sniffling Jynxx seemed to choke it all down with that bottle of whiskey. Reaching into her pocket to slap her tap down on the bar counter. "Look....D-Dont condemn someone for something you'll never understand. It's not your place. You think I hate him because I want to' No, I don't blame him one fucking bit. It was all MY fault. Not a damn person truly understands malice until it's ripped them apart inside. And I've spent every waking moment of my life to make fucking sure you NEVER understand. But don't you dare blame Bael for any fucking thing. It's not your right nor place. It's mine." At that point, with the blood in her veins set on high, those baby blues quickly shifted to a bright green. Almost luminescent. A bad sign from one born of fury. "You want to do me a favor" Then bury every fucking word you've heard today and don't fucking utter a word to ANYONE." Though as much as she lashed out, it only masked and choked down the words she wanted so badly to just scream out. The truth she knew deep in the recesses of her mind. That Samael weren't dead at all. That he'd never truly die as long as she existed. Because deep inside she knew, as long as she breathed. His malice lived on in her veins. His will would never be undone until the day she ceased to exist. Alas, it wasn't in her to throw out the words. To tell her beloved little sister that she'd become the very monster he damn well intended for her to be. No matter how dead she tried to act on the outside. Inside, she was furious. Loathing and hateful. A sickness she couldn't shake, no matter what she'd tried to do to quell it. After a moment longer Jynxx heaved a long, drawn out sigh. "Sorry....Just...Don't. Bael has always been there for you, and we both know that damn well. It isn't your job to cater to me, nor is it to protect me." And with those words Jynxx stood from her stool, whipping around with haste she immediately trotted right for those doors, for the streets of Rhy'Din without another word save the faint muttering "Thanks for listening..."

She didn't want to release Jynxx, and she could feel the moment she'd goofed by her sister's stiffness in her arms. That oops moment but her mouth couldn't stop if she tried. Kokabiel had gone to damn college to be a counselor, a therapist. But Jynxx, someone who she'd known as a stone wall unable to be torn down her whole life, seeing her breakdown and in such a vulnerable place. To hear and see how broken she was, to know what had happened to her. Well, she was one of those unfortunate souls that had believed the whole 'Jynxx is dead inside' bit, but today she was proven wrong. Dead wrong. And guilt tinged with despair at the realization that...she didn't seem to know Jynxx at all. When she was shoved away, she didn't fight her and instead shrunk back. "I'm sorry," was all that she could mutter before Jynxx damn near exploded on her. Her head ducked, taking the verbal beating Jynxx let onto her until she looked up to see those luminescent greens that had her eyes widening. She didn't fear Jynxx, didn't think that Jynxx could ever hurt her. She'd protected Kokabiel the entirety of her life, perhaps more than she even knew, but it was the realization of just how much she'd screwed up with a few words. "Jynxx...I.." But she was cut off at the knees at the verbal smackdown being laid on her. "You're right," a whisper as she looked at her lap. She didn't have any right, any place to say what she had. Guilt for what she'd said about Bael layered on top of that. Bael had been good to Kokabiel, but there was that irritation that he hadn't done more for Jynxx too. He should've. He made Jynxx, he should've protected her. Bael had tried to be Kokabiel's father, and he shouldn't have been. He should've done so for Jynxx. He should've protected her instead of worrying about Kokabiel. "Of cours-.." Cut off again at the mention of the favor, she shrunk back again when she was told to bury it. "Jynxx.." But there was no way the Angel of Seduction could get a word in otherwise, her sister was already leaving. "Jynxx!" She barked, not stern or firm, but almost a plea as she tore her backside away from the stool to stand up, she made a step toward her sister, but she was already gone. "Dammit!" Her palms came down on the bartop with enough force to make the wood quake and startle the bottle resting on it. Her head hung, her own blonde hair drifting over her face as she angrily swiped at the tears trying to dry on her cheeks. She was mad at herself, for not doing better. For not fixing the situation. For not helping Jynxx after everything her sister had done for her since she was a tyke. And worst of all...."I never got to ask about Craig..." A choked sob, she knew her priorities were fucked but she couldn't stop. It was in every fiber of her being, and dammit she couldn't stop. Angrily swiping the Jameson from the bar, she started off toward the alley door, barking a "go fuck yourself" to someone who had been staring before she knocked the door open with her shoulder and was gone.

(Adapted from Live play with Jynxx) (Note: "Clip Clop" is what Jynxx and Kokabiel call Samael, aka Satan, aka Archdemon of Wrath (Malice) It's a joke about how he's assumed to be a goat.)