(To the player of Zora, you are one excellent partner, thank you for putting up with me. To others who come into my parlor. You are welcome here but the thoughts on the pages appear nowhere but in the journal of Corrim Duvek. Or simply Duvek, a mere commodities trader and acquirer of rarities.)

He didn't remember the last time he looked at this picture. Tora had attached it to the little journal's cover and given it as a gift. Tora Rejal, the name still hurt to think about. Duvek had worked many hours to find the little assassin who had forced her way onto his ship without a single alarm tripped. Was he getting that sloppy' Perhaps his methods had become commonplace. He would make some necessary changes and hope that she wouldn't find a way past those as well. It was her fault, him holding this journal. The pages were blank, because Corrim Duvek couldn't bear to write inside of it. He did open the cover though, and bring a pen to his hand. He had made it that far before, but never far enough to sully the pristine page with even a droplet of the ink. Until today he hadn't, today he had no one else to turn to.

I've had this these past ten years since your passing and never felt once the desire to touch it, let alone use it. That might not be true. I may have felt the desire to touch it but it comes from missing you. For a brief moment I thought we would meet again, finally. Part of me hoped it would be so. The assassin so reminds me of you, well never in looks my love but her attitude was supremely similar to you. I can't tell you the irony it would have been, to have the killing blow come with me being caught so completely blind. I know, this is not why you gave this to me, but I only have the strength for letters and perhaps that will be a satisfactory compromise" I see that stricken look. You were always so dead set in how things should be. I swear you were destined to lead the council. Where would I be then" Perhaps it would be you sitting and me waiting" Perhaps that would have been better than what I have now"

It isn't in me to give in Tora, you have always known that. The odd urge now and again perhaps, but nothing set in Duranium. I won't bore you with words of how I miss you. If you are watching you know already. This assassin, I need to find who knows about me Tora. I will try, and hope that you smile on my attempts. I wouldn't complain much if you are leading me down a path to the proverbial Klingon Death and Glory. I would complain though just to let you know that up front. If that isn't your plan, then I will find this assassin and she will fall instead of me. Not before I know who sent her. Tora, you left me too soon.

-C.D.-

If you weren't gone, I would swear that you arranged this Tora. When I heard her name I had to look twice. It was her though. Zora"it was like you never left me. It was like being back outside the theater, remember the time" When everyone seemed to know you and your name, I couldn't stop turning as I heard it repeated. Like that but different, I am sorry to say that I went cold at it. There must be someone laughing at me where you are.

I don't like how close they have gotten though. So soon after they have met, that speaks of manipulation to me. I don't know Tora, I don't trust either of them. She seems to have latched on to an ideal and then given it physical presence in the prisoner. Vedas Durai" You know how I feel about the sanctimonious Tora. He is pretending, I know"I know, who am I to complain about pretenders? I don't delude myself though. This whole thing smells of deep plots and pawns like me don't get to know until the game is nearly over what part they play. We've been there before. Your part lately has been to haunt me though. To make me wonder if I am doing the right thing. Obviously I do it anyway, but once I wouldn't care what is the right thing. For Cardassia! That was all I needed to know. Twenty years and more in the field, losing you these things make me skeptical. Just don't tell The Order, you know how they feel about skeptics.

He placed the book back into its hidey hole and wondered why he hadn't destroyed the pages. What would having this thing around do for him' The picture on its face stared up at him though and he closed the secret door and made ready to head into one of the cities again. He needed to keep his face visible, and his encounters memorable.

Dearest Tora,

I wish I could tell you that there was something. Central Command has been quiet, and with them the order also. I have come to realize that I could be quite wealthy doing this. Would you have loved this incarnation of me? A simple trader, but good at it. You knew me then, knew me when I was a power to be looked for, and listened to. I have often tried to convince myself that it wasn't this that you sought, but I remember how you came to me. It wasn't until I had my command that you showed an interest. I suppose there was a need to ensure a future, and it certainly looked like I had one didn't it. No, it was a lie, and you accepted the lie...why' Because it meant more power in the end. They didn't like it though, when they knew I had told you. They insisted on your coming along Tora, and I complied. Gods help me I complied.

It shouldn't have happened that way.

C.D.

He pulled the journal from its hiding place, was it worth trying to keep Zora out of his private thoughts" He couldn't be sure, all he knew right now was that he was scrambled and she was the one making the eggs of his brain.

She came back to me, what does it mean, you know how hard I tried to forget her. You above all know how hard I tried to forget her. I had moved on, was ready to pretend that Zora had been just a passing fancy. Now she's here, and alone with me. No Durai to worry over, more than that she needs me. I should tell her no, I should get her off the ship and never let myself be entangled with her. I should do so many things you know I am not strong enough to do. I should just forget her, but I can't.

I've committed myself, you know what that means. You know it means that I will give my help no matter what. No matter how great the cost. Last time success cost me you. What will it cost me this time" Why can't I say no?

He was at it again, though he couldn't say why he had felt the need to do so. It was more often than it had been, before reuniting with Zora he had practically forgotten he had it. It felt comfortable in his hands though, thoughts burning their way through his head into his hand and pouring onto the page. Silent scritching scrawls sounded too loud in the silence of his room. The lights were dim, but not so dark that he couldn't maintain his steady hand.

Another successful mission, and I would gladly tell you that the slight change in plans would have met your approval. Still, there was the bit of a skirmish, not much and handled impressively by Zora. She, I don't know there is a way about her, something that"I got distracted it's happened before, not often and never quite so encompassing. She's dangerous. What's that' No I don't think that is fair to say. Sure, she's divinely attractive, but no I can't afford to consider how good she looked. It's really out of the question. For the smallest of moments I considered what it would be like but that is too dangerous too.

Denial" Me" You know I lie all the time but never too myself. It was nothing, a momentary lapse of judgment despite what it looked like, or how I thought I felt. Attachments are a weakness that neither of us can afford. I don't know much about her but watching her as she took down her target, I know training when I see it. She's embedded somewhere, and I think she could never really feel. Not for me at least, I'm"well she's just so young, and I am obviously just something she chooses to distract while she gets what she needs from me. She could never feel for me, and you remember I am as unfeeling as the cold stones outside the capitol city on Cardassia Prime. Perhaps you don't remember that was after and I was angry. Why are we discussing this" Why must you plague me with questions that have no answers and visions of things that simply can't be? I will control my mind, and she's not what you keep telling me. We both know I feel nothing, not ever?

The pen stopped, Corrim closed the journal harder than he intended. He wouldn't notice the smear in the fresh ink, not right away. The journal went into its hiding place, strange how normally he felt better over his writings. Tonight he felt worse, sickened inside by something he couldn't quite put his finger on.

He couldn't remember taking the journal from its hidden place in his quarters. All he knew was that he kept pouring over the previous entry wondering what happened. He stared for a long time at the empty page, pen resting in his fingers. The burn in his eyes held back more, he tried to lose himself in the feeling, but failed miserably.

There was motion in the tip of the pen, hesitant at first then more flowing. It was short though poignant for his mood.

Zora, I lo"What did I do wrong"

The journal was set to the control console but over balanced and hit the floor opening to that page as though laughing at his thoughts. Corrim never noticed elbows on the edge of the console face in his palms. She hadn't returned, He'd waited for her and she hadn't come back. "Computer engage engines, Maximum Warp." Montera VII became a simple dot in the rear view screen, strange how its circle seemed to match the hole he felt in his life.

Zora,

I stopped today on a planet known for its hot springs. I was alone, lately that is all I know about myself. Alone though at least I could use the springs in peace. The heat of the water on my skin failed to soothe though. The warmth I felt was cold by comparison to what I am missing. Would you have enjoyed the time there"

I wonder if you are all right, if you have found what you are looking for out there. Funny thing about finding things, they are often so fragile, and your time together fleeting. Once I would have languished in those pools but I am hollow, a bottomless depth that no simple pool will ever fill. I do know one that could, but it is far from simple and completely out of my grasp. I hate you for this, for making me love you. Mostly though, I just...Nevermind, how many ways can I say the same thing to you. The real irony is, none for you aren't here to say it to.

When we parted, when you left me, the galaxy could have imploded. I would gladly have taken a seat on the edge of that oblivion and let it wash over me like those mineral rich waters. Perhaps I am being unfair though. Maybe there is no redeemable piece of me that you could ever want to hold to. Maybe I don't deserve what I felt then. Is that it then" Is this what I truly deserve? I just don't know.

Zora,

I am many things, though I must admit that I am deficient in certain aspects of my Cardassian make up. Family, for so many of my species it is the most important thing. An orderly family means there is no worry of embarrassment. If I told you that my family was long since gone and that I do not suffer the need to worry over the opinions of anyone that would make you suspicious. If it doesn't then it should. Perhaps it is the lack of companionship that has found folly within me. I mean without question I have acted very un-Cardassian like towards someone whom, well let's face it my dear, I ought never to have trusted.

Come to think of it though, I don't know that it is trust that allows me to watch while you manipulate me. I believe it is an admiration of style. A genuine joy at watching how you bend the truth and twist through the traps. I may even have convinced myself a time or two that you could have some particular feeling for me. We both know that can never be true. How in all the worlds could someone like you ever fall for someone like me? No my dear, I have always just been a means to an end for you.

The evidence is empirical, you are the one who keeps leaving me. I never even get the smallest trace to keep of your passing. Nothing to hold to when my thoughts fall on you. I hope you are well. I hope you wish the same for me. I Hope...

I don't know how to feel right now. Used perhaps" You set me up well, I am not sure I could do a better job myself. Still you killed a man who didn't deserve it. What would you have done if you knew that it was I who planted the information Tarn was killed over"

I don't really need to ask that, you would have taken Tarn anyway. That's the job you were paid for. Why bother to reveal yourself to me then" Delighting in my pain perhaps" Rubbing how close I was to you under my nose and walking away again, should I be thanking you for that' I was just getting used to not thinking of you everyday. It's almost like you knew that, then again I suppose you probably did. You make a fine Cardassian woman for someone with no soul.

I should apologize, but I am angry. I don't even know what makes me angrier, the fact that you killed him or flaunted it. No, I think there is more to it than that. You gave me just a glimpse of you, yet you sat there knowing me, interacting with me and letting me treat you like a stranger. Dammit Zora! Did I really mean so little to you?

I made it easy for you didn't I" Let you walk in and manipulate me. The worst part, I'd have helped you if you'd asked. I've spent months missing you. One sided I suppose, why else do you keep leaving me behind? I'm not one to drown my sorrows, no, I want them alive for when it is time to alleviate them properly.

What's in a name" The answer is both great and small, I myself place little value in a name since I have used so many in my life. What if that name you lose is greater than you? What if I were no longer Cardassian' Would it matter as little" I don't know, wouldn't know how to define myself. If the scales were stripped and the blood leeched away only to be replaced by something else, something foreign, how would I handle that"

We speak, laugh but I know the laughter isn't real. Mine isn't, how could yours ever be again? I still call you Zora, to me you haven't changed. There are some things that transcend public opinion. What's in a name" Everything and nothing. It is the deepest lie, the greatest truth, and it has been stolen from you. To say you've been renamed would be my attempt to help. To say anything would, but you never asked to be renamed. You didn't ask to be what you've become. I left you there when I could have pulled you out, should have.

Whatever else I've done, every manipulation or torturous death, they are nothing compared to this. I never cared about them, Zora. I never cared, not when the greater good of Cardassia was involved. Cardassia, I miss her still. Some would say she betrayed me, Zora. It isn't so, Cardassia cuts away that which will hurt her. I would have hurt her in the end, look in the mirror and tell me it isn't true. Look in the mirror and tell me I don't hurt those things I love the most.

Would I give up being Cardassian to change what happened" Would I become something besides Corrim Duvek" Did you know I was a bastard son' I never knew my father, or my mother. I knew he was still alive though, it didn't take me long to work that out, one just has to linger in the right places and hear the right combination of words....Those dangerous Whispered Words.

No, and you won't know it from me either.