Topic: Tales from a (not so) Suave Operator

Mach

Date: 2018-05-15 07:02 EST
Never scoff free… Not exactly a sage and wizened maxim but it was one of the few the schmooze actually adhered to with any regularity. Free food, free drink, free fun – all well worth checking out when they came along (and did they come along often in Rhy’Din!) So following such logic it wasn’t surprising that he always found himself stopping whenever he came across the grand fountain in the Market district. Wishes were plentiful as they were free and Mach was never one to turn down any means to hedge his odds.

In an almost automated fashion he dug a spare coin from his pocket, a light peck deposited to the metal surface before thumbing it fountainward. Considering a moment on what he’d wish for this time he let his hands fold together in supplication; lone cobalt eye closing to give silent voice to his desire.

Splat.

Wait… what? Rather than a serene plop the sound that emanated was more akin to a wee dwarf belly flopping into a kiddy pool. Suffice to say this defied all expectations and warranted more than a little apprehension in his gaze over the rim of the stone bowl. What' This was Rhy’Din after all, who’s to say some mentally deficient kelpie or another hadn’t decided to make a fountain in the middle of the busiest district in the city it’s home" And he certainly wasn’t going to stick around if he’d just pegged some elemental spirit in the head! 

However, rather than some fuming force of nature getting ready to uncomfortably probe him (…again…) with tendrils of lukewarm water what he founds was… an ugly fish' Bulbous in a way only a mother could love and missing more than a few danger cone orange scales and even an eye from what looked like brawling (did fish brawl"); Mach pegged the disgruntly derpy looking creature as a Carassius auratus (or goldfish for those not up on their italic names.) Actually, it appeared there was a whole slew of goldfish now flitting and swarming about in the fountain though this sizable one in particular was wearing his 10 dan coin atop it’s head like some silver pork pie hat and appeared none-too-pleased with its latest accessory.

Casting an appraising glance around the perimeter he made note of the little table set up with pamphlets, cups, nets, food, and other apparently fish friendly paraphernalia. A little more in-depth scan noted a lack of any kind of surveillance or entertained onlookers which sort of struck the idea that this were some sort of elaborate prank. This just begged all sorts of questions of who, how, and why someone would go through the trouble of setting all this up!" But just as the questions kept rising up like bubbles from the depths of his cynical mind, each and every one popped against his rather twisted and blasé world view. There was water here and someone or something acted on that....what more reason was there for this situation to occur" It at least all looked legit and, more importantly, innocent so no harm no foul it would seem.

Turning his attention back to the rippling waters he found the ugly fish still bobbing just below the surface, silver hat shimmering in the midday sun though it did little to detract from the irate glare of the creature beneath. Seemed this one had a particularly ornery personality… or it was just really dumb and he was projecting – he’d certainly never been smiles whenever a giant hit him in the head with something! Matching cyclop gaze to cyclop gaze he found himself chuckling softly at the odd affinity he felt for the rough and tumbled idiot.

“Adopt a fish, huh' More like bring home a sporty meal for Sir Lemon…” Snorting mildly he leaned over the edge of the fountain, ungloved finger reaching to knock the adornment off of the dimly bobbing critter. Well, okay, not so dim it seemed as the fish breached the rippling water surface just as he got close so as to promptly chomp his finger! 

Reflexively he snatched his hand back despite the fact that he’d lost the ability to really feel anything from his natural fingers. Shooting a glower at the ugly critter as it sank beneath the rippling water, its appearance became distorted and lost among the dazzling array of other fish and coins. “Oi! Well, now I know why you’ve gotten so ugly you unprocessed taco filling!”

Issuing a derisive snort at the pond he drew back, finger absently wiped off on his shirt as his gaze lifted to note a few passerby's giving him the look as they skirted by. Great, he was the crazy guy mumbling in front of the fountain. Offering a halfhearted smile he unceremoniously hooked his thumbs beneath his suspenders, turning on heel so as to saunter away casually before he drew even more stares. Maybe free wasn't always as cracked up as it seemed...