Topic: The Heart Matters: These Little Things...

Elodie Echo

Date: 2017-01-10 11:36 EST
...Are awkward.

September 17th, 2016 - Early Evening - 18:36

Sardensrow 30th, 1738 - Late Morning - 12:18

Unlike last time she had been home, the meeting before with Maj. Bacon had been exhausting, both mentally and physically. It didn't help that Beanie, the precious little being growing inside her had decided at that exact moment that she wants to stretch something up against her ribs the whole time. Now that she was rolling up to her mother's place, she was still. Of course.

She was in the back seat, her hands resting atop the ever growing baby bump that rested in the spanse of her stomach, right in between her hips. On the seat besides her, quiet as he hid in the back of his carrier was Snow, her little puff of love with snowy white fur, little nubs for horns atop his head, a wide slobbery tongue, and four stubby little legs. When she had finally retrieved him from whatever had to be done so she could bring him with, he had been shaking and cowering in the back of his cage. It was unsettling, but he was here with her....The one little piece of Rhy'din that she could bring home with her, apart from the little trinkets and the like she had bought. Her attention was on the house that the cab was coming to a stop in front of. Before the driver could say anything, she was already in her wallet, fishing out two bills that amounted in more than enough for her ride. They were passed over as she grabbed Snow's carrier and scooted to get out the cab through the door.

"Keep the change." "

She rolled her shoulders, and wiggled her way out of the cab before the driver could protest. Slightly waddling steps lead her to the back of the cab, where the trunk was already popped open. Snow was set on the ground before she reached to pull the first bag out. A large military duffel stuffed with clothing, that was set besides Snow. A smaller suitcase, and a smaller second military duffel followed. Then the trunk was pulled shut. It was all she brought back, and the smaller duffel was packed with baby clothes and little toys she had been given by the girls back at The Kitten's Playpen. She hadn't wanted a big to-do, but everyone insisted they throw a part going away party, part baby shower for her. She let them, and even though the memories were bittersweet and touching, she was glad she had. Over the months she had worked there she had grown close with everyone, from Arlington, to Jackson and Miz Kitten. They were like family. She left with the promise to call often, and the sour tang of goodbye on her tongue. She missed them already.

In her brief moment of reminiscing, she missed the shifting of the curtains in the window, and the fact that the cab had taken off, probably before she could change her mind on such a tip. She was crouching down to collect the two smaller bags, the duffel slung over a shoulder, the suitcase by its handle, when the front door burst open. She glanced up, hazels falling on the form of her mother. She looked tired, worn with worry, probably from the weeks Elodie had ignored her calls. Her hair was ever grayer, her plump form looked thinner. Even still there was a bright smile stretched across her mother's face, all the while those blue eyes that never missed anything "were dancing over the huntress' form, making sure everything was alright and she was unharmed.

"'Lodie! Here. Let me help you. You don't have to carry all that. Just grab....Uhm..." The woman paused, and moved closer so she could peer into the carrier at Snow. "Him. That's Snow, right' The cute little pet you had in Rhy'din" I'm surprised they let your bring him."

"Uh. Yeah. That's him. Thanks for helping me carry stuff. Uh....Hi Mom." There was a minute bob of her head that followed these words. The suitcase she was trying to carry was set back down on the ground, and she moved to collect the carrier instead. There was a level of awkward unease that settled between the two women as they collected what they were carrying. Elodie the small duffel and Snow's cage. Her mother, the large duffel and the suitcase. They both stayed silent as they carried the respective luggage for the door, and inside. It wasn't until everything was set down that her mother turned back towards Lodie, and bounced on her feet, almost nervously.

Somewhere in the background something bluesy played, and near immediately, she gave a glance around her mother's house, as if she expected a random piano somewhere in a corner of the house, Jack perched on the bench, long dark curls shifting with each roll of his head, that singular atomic green eye glowing. Instead, she found the radio on the shelf in the living room. There was another pang of missing there. Jack hadn't been the most conventional boyfriend, but he made her think, made her consider before she actually did anything. He always encouraged her to do the right thing, and supported any decision she made. Their goodbye hadn't really been a goodbye. She had just told him she had to go home. Then they just spent time together. When she woke up he was gone. There was a slump in her shoulders when she remembered that she was home. There was no fantastical dream walking, blues playing Jack waiting for her.

There was no more Kitten's Playpen, there was no more Sinestra, or Jack, or Layla, her free, fun loving twin in all but blood. There was no more Red Dragon Inn, late night Chinese food, and cute little coffee shops. No more fantastical creatures and interesting people. Rhy'din almost felt like a dream, and nothing else. Funny how things worked out like that.

Quiet, the huntress fixed her with a curious look that made her mother shift again, this time a little uncomfortably. "So....I ah...You're so big. How far along are you now?" The hard look on Elodie's face softened with that question, and for a moment she realized that being with her mother was just going to make it harder for "her to stay angry at her. "I'm about twenty four weeks now. Sixteen more to go. Then Beanie's here. I really can't wait, Y'know. Like. All these months my body's been her home, and then she's gonna be out and in my arms, and I think that's gonna make all those nights and days of being miserable worth it." Her face lit up a touch, and her mother smiled. "It really is worth it, 'Lodie. It is. I can't wait to meet her. I uh...It's good to see you again. I missed you, and I was worried, and can I please have a hug?"

Her mother's question made both of her brows shoot up for a moment. She had asked instead of hugging her like she expected. A couple seconds later, she nodded her head, and moved in to collect a hug from her mother. She returned it tightly, and melted against her, let it linger for a moment. Her mother was beaming when she pulled back from her.

"I figured maybe we could turn one of the guest bedrooms into a nursery. The one across from your room, probably. We can go shopping, enlist some neighbors to help move the bed and dressers out of there. And paint. It'll be fun." Her mother paused, pretty blues seeking out her hazels. When their eyes met, her mother smiled. "Anything you need or want for your baby. I'll make sure that you have it for her. And before you can protest, it's my gift for you and the baby. I won't take no for an answer, and you told me yourself that you can't take a gift back."

Elodie sighed in defeat, and her mother grinned triumphantly at her. "Go ahead, just drop your stuff by the couch. We'll get it upstairs soon. You sit, relax. Are you hungry' Thirsty?" Her mother was hovering, they both knew it, but for now she'd just let her. She didn't have much fight left in her. ?"Something simple, like a sandwich or something....would be good. And water. Or juice." She was hungry. And she figured it would make her mother happy to make something for her, so....simple.

"Alright. You just sit, play with uh....Snow or something. Get off your feet and rest." Her tone was stern in that motherly way, and had Elodie grinning faintly. "Yes Ma'am."

She moved to comply, toting Snow with her over to the couch. She didn't flop, like she normally would have, but carefully moved to drop into the great big armchair that had been her father's. Sometimes she swore it still smelled like him. She settled with a groan, and opened the door to Snow's cage. He cowered and shrank back for a moment, before realizing that it was Elodie. With a happy little chirrup, he was scrambling out of the cage and was wiggling his way into her jacket. She blinked a couple of times and eyed the little ball of fluff where he had settled, nestled a top the curve of her belly, and just between the swell of her breasts. "Well. 'Least you're comfortable."

In response, he panted noisily, and nuzzled her like it had been forever since he'd been loved. Absently, she wonders just what happened after she handed him over, but figured maybe it was better if she didn't. Instead, she hums softly and strokes a finger against the base of his horns. They droop as he purred happily and loudly. The sound was comforting, her day had been long. She was content to just sit like that, with Snow nestled close.

In fact she was so content that she was starting to nod off by the time that her mother appeared in the doorway, with a plate of food in one hand, a glass of apple juice in another. Snow squeaks in protest when she grunts and wiggles so she's sitting up a little straighter. Hazel's went to the plate as it's offered, and she can't help the grin that forms when she spots what her mother made. Two peanut butter and banana sandwiches, lightly toasted with butter, and she's certain there's a sprinkle of chocolate chips in them somewhere. Her favorite. Besides them is two halves of a peeled orange and an apple decored and sliced up. ?"???????????????????????????????????????????????" ?"???????????????????????????????????????????????" ?"???????????????????????????????????????????????" ?"???????????????????????????????????????????????" ?"???????????????????????????????????????????????" ?"??????????????????????????"

"Thanks mom." It's said happily, as she reaches up to collect the plate from her. There's little hesitation in the way she scoops up one of the sandwiches and bites into it. A soft sound of appreciation was made as she chewed.

"Welcome." It's chirped back by her mother. It isn't long before she's using the distraction of food for Elodie keep her distracted while she scooped up her luggage bags and carried them upstairs. To keep her from insisting on it later, and save her the worry of Elodie hurting something trying to. By the time she arrives back downstairs, she notes with surprise that a sandwich and a half are gone, as are all of the oranges, and most of the apples.

The huntress glanced up after a moment, and with hazels dancing, offered her a smile. Then promptly, the rest of her food met its demise, and her mother moved to collect the plate, and empty glass from her. ?"Do you want head up and unpack" Then maybe later we can go out to late lunch, or maybe dinner. My treat?"

"Mhh?" Elodie glanced up at her mother and watched her for a quiet moment. "Mmmh. Maybe dinner later" I think right now though' I need a nap. It's" It's been a long day. I'm tired. Even though it's morning here. Sorry to kinda be a party pooper, but?" she trails off, then pats lightly at the swell of her belly. In the past few months she had come to find that being a mother to be was rather exhausting work. Add in the fact that the meeting with Maj. Bacon had been long, and mentally exhausting, she felt near dead on her feet.

"Alright, Lodie. It's good, and I understand. Sleep good, okay' And don't be afraid to ask me if you need anything. I'll probably just be putzing around the house." Molly leaned down to press a kiss to her daughter's forehead, then offered a hand to help her to her feet. Graciously, the huntress accepted it, and scooped up Snow to stuff him down in her jacket for easier carrying. He gave a disgruntled huff, shifted around till he was comfortable. Then, with her mother's help, and a couple of moments, she was on her feet.

"I'll catch you after my nap, Mom. Have fun till then." A grin is followed by her leaning in to pull her mother in for another hug. Still angry, yes, but she had missed her mother more than she had realized. That done, she pulled away, turned to collect Snow's carrier, then she was disappearing up the steps and to her room.

She was out within five minutes of curling up on her bed, and getting snuggled up under her blankets.

Elodie Echo

Date: 2017-03-01 17:09 EST
....Are heartbreaking.

October 2nd, 2016 - Late evening - 21:39

Sardensrow 45th, 1738 - Early Afternoon - 15:46

The huntress could have just caught a bus and walked, just like the last time she had come here, but given the swell of her belly, and the fact that just about everyone that knew who she was gave her funny looks now, she'd rather not. Part of it was probably because she wasn't married, the other part because she was keeping her lips pressed tight, and sticking to the story of a wild weekend with too much booze, being the reason she was pregnant. She had asked her mother to drive her, then requested quietly that she waited in the car. She wanted to go visit her father's grave alone. There was a lot that she wanted to talk about, or maybe confess" or something along those lines.

There was a brief glance cast over her shoulder towards her mother's car, and she found the woman's worried eyes watching her. Instead of waving, she turned her attention to before her, to the portcullis and the wrought iron fence that enclosed the whole of the Federal Tanga National Cemetery specific for the Minostra region. Last time she had been there, she had been a lot less round, the bitterness of goodbye a strong tang. Now she was home, the possibility of her leaving again, slim to none, especially given the fact that she was soon to be a mother. Actually, given that, she was already more than willing to go head to head with her handler to keep her there on Tang. Yes, she would miss her friends, the people she had come to care about in Rhy'din, but there were more important things at stake. She had to do what she thought was right for Beanie, like Jack had urged her to.

She shook her head, as if it would chase away the thoughts buzzing around within it. A hand came up to rest atop her ever growing belly as she started moving, feet clad in comfy slipper like shoes. Unlike last time she didn't pay attention to the slope of the hill, the statute, and the memorial walls that it led up to. She just focused on the path that she had walked so many times before, through the rows and rows of neat little markers. It took a little longer than it normally would, but soon enough she found herself standing before her father's grave, hazel eyes dancing across the inscription of his name, his date of birth, and following, his date of death. All things she had memorized, and truthfully, how could she ever forget the day that her hero and role model died"

With a sigh heavier than the weight that rested on her shoulders, she shifted, and slowly eased herself to the ground. She knew it would be difficult getting back up, but standing was just going to kill her feet even more. Once she was settled, her legs sprawled out to make a v shape, another deep breath was pulled in, the exhale slow.

"So, uh' told you I'd be back soon enough. And Yeah' I know. What happened" I got knocked up." There's a haughty laugh that follows these words, as her eyes fluttered shut, and her head tilted back. "Have you ever ****ed up so bad you wonder how the hell you're gonna get yourself out of the mess you're in" "Cuz I'm definitely in that position. I messed up. I made a stupid decision, and got pregnant, and now I'm gonna be a mom. And people are asking who the father is" and I can't tell them. I can't, because I would be in so much trouble. Purity would be all over my ass. So I tell everyone I had a weekend where there was a little too much booze, little too much fun. I don't remember who."

"But I do remember. I remember so vividly, because how could I ever forget him' Zayden. I told you I still loved him last time I was here. I" yeah. Wasn't kidding. Didn't think I was gonna get pregnant though. God, I'm so screwed if anyone ever finds out. I can't' Why can't things be different' Why did he have to go and do what he did" Why can't' I'm a good person. I do what I have to. I follow orders. I'm kind to people. Why can I have the family I want more than anything else? I feel like I just keep on getting the short end of the stick. You died early. Zayden ****ed up, and ran away. I found him again? and I got pregnant."

There's a sniffle that escapes, and even though she can feel the tickle of slow rolling tears down her cheeks, she doesn't make a move to wipe them away. "He's never gonna be able to be there for me, for the baby like I know he'll want to be. He won't be able to be there in the hospital, holding my hand as I struggle through labor. He won't be able to sing her lullabies, or read her books. He'll miss her first steps, her first bumps and bruises, first loose tooth. The joys of coming home and being greeted by squealing exclamations of joy and "Daddy". He doesn't even know. He's not gonna get to have any of that, and it hurts me more than I should. I mean' What do I tell her when she asks about her father?" Her shoulders trembled with the weight of that question.

"Do I tell her he was a criminal" A fugitive mage" Someone who made a mistake that ended with him being a murderer" That she was the product of a wild fling" Or that she was born from a love that seems like no matter what happens, however bad, can't be lost' I guess maybe it's good I have a while before she starts asking that." The last bit was muttered bitterly, as finally, a hand came up to swipe across her face in an attempt to wipe away the streaks that dampened her face.

"I ****ed up so bad. Daddy, I crossed such a moral line. I'm so screwed if anyone finds out who Beanie's father is. I shouldn't' Yeah I shouldn't have slept with him' but it was like no time had passed. But everything was stolen. So stolen. Every little moment of time we shared felt like stealing time. And I want' I want so much more. I want to steal every possible moment that I can?" There's a heavy sigh that escapes her, before her hands came up to rub gently at her temples.

"There's a part of me that wants to go spend every waking moment I can waiting out in the woods at the ruins, while another part of me just wants to hide away, not tell him. It'd be easier on the both of us maybe, but I'm horribly impulsive, and I'm probably gonna do something 'stupid soon anyways, because I know he's gonna surface again. I'm home once more, how can't he?"

There's a heavy moment of pause, before the huntress hung her head, and finally wiped viciously at the tears that stained her face. "Even if I don't go find him, let him know I'm back home, he'll find out I'm back. Like he said, I make waves. I'd rather he find out from me that I'm pregnant, then from some rumor" It has to be from me. And he's going to know that Beanie is his. If he doesn't assume immediately."

Another heavy pull of breath follows, a hiccup that breaks it up, before slowly, she lets it out. "I dunno where things are gonna go from here. I don't know what stupid decisions I'm going to make, because I'm making them with my heart and not my head. I don't want to end up losing the good things I have in my life. My job, friends, mom' Even though' I'm still angry at her." She makes "a mirthless amused sound in the back of her throat, and brings her hand up to rub over her face. "Yeah. Didn't tell you about that one yet, did I" Hah."

Her hand comes to drop back down into her lap, before she laughed dryly. " She told me that instead of screwing him, I should have been catching him. Turning him in. That it would be taking care of another problem. Like he's some monster that deserves to have his brain neutered. Like it would be better for him to lose everything that makes him the beautiful person that I love. That' That it'd be better that he was gone. Like nothing that I felt and still feel mean nothing." Another sniffle followed along with a fresh wave of tears.

"Like losing Zayden completely would break me completely. As screwed up as things are, I still". I...I don't want a life that he's not in. Especially now, more than ever. Purity be damned, we're gonna be a family regardless of everything else. Doesn't matter if he's not really gonna get to be there or not, and that's what pissed me off about mom's words. It happened. We can't take it back, and like hell I'm going to give my baby up" or get rid of her. She snorts softly.

"Wren told me I was throwing my career away over some child who didn't even have a father. That I was ruining my career by keeping her. Said that I should just go and have my problem taken care of, and save everyone, myself included,the trouble. I couldn't even think of considering that. Not after hearing the tiny flutter of her heartbeat, seeing her perfect little self in the ultra sounds, functioning, growing to come into a world she'll call home" She's mine. I still haven't held her yet, but she's literally everything that matters to me now."

"I wonder if it was like that for you when you found out mom was pregnant. Did you love me from the very moment you knew" Were you excited to find out you and mom were gonna be parents" Or was it not until you got to hold me for the first time that you loved me. That first contact that made reality sink in that you were a dad. That you decided that you were going to do everything that you could to come back to mom and me" What was it like holding me for the first time" I mean' I know mom has answers to these questions" but I can actually ask her them"." There's a lift and drop of her shoulders as she pulled in a sigh, then let her head tilt back. Hazels danced up to watch a cloud as it drifted along overhead.

"I wish you were here to give me answers. To give me some sense of direction, because I feel so wildly lost. You didn't hate Zayden from day one. Didn't like him because of the fact that he was a mage. You saw past that. Saw that he was good for me. That we have a bond that was something more than just a childhood friendship. You didn't hate him, and smile and be nice to his face because you had to. You genuinely liked him, fought tooth and nail with mom to let us be friends." A faint huff of laughter followed those words. "I remember those nights clearly. You guys weren't exactly the quietest when you guys argued, just so you know. But I know you guys were crazy about each other."

Finally, her eyes drifted back down to the headstone. "Speaking of mom' I think maybe I've kept her long enough. I should probably go." There's a grunt that escaped as she wiggles and maneuvers herself so that she's up on her knees. From there, she shifts again to plant a foot on the ground firmly, before she struggled the rest of the way to her feet, muttering about how much she cursed being pregnant. "I love you Daddy. I'll be back again sometime soon. Maybe next time though, I'll be carrying Beanie in my arms, and not in my belly." The smile that finds her face is warm and light, which contrasts strongly with the red cheeks stained with tears, and puffy eyes.

She turned to start leaving, then paused, and turned to glance over her shoulder.

"By the way, Cordelia is a pretty name."

That said, she turned back to continue leaving, her shoulders feeling a little less weighed down then they had been the first time. Just like when she arrived though, she took her time walking through the tidy little lines of gravestones, hands neatly resting atop the swell of her belly.