Topic: The Sad Sailor

NorseLady

Date: 2012-03-09 11:33 EST
Once upon a time there was a sailor who had sailed on a ship across all seven seas. He had seen many strange countries and all the wonders of the world. But still he was a sad and lonely fellow, and there was not a port that he called hjem.

One day, across the open sea, the ship ran into a tempest. The waves towered over the vessel like terrible mountains; the ship bobbed up and down like a tiny nutshell. Suddenly a giant wave washed over the deck sweeping away the crew, along with the captain himself, with the exception of the sad and lonely sailor.

Na the depressed sailor was truly quite alone on the ship. He was tossed here and there by the storm, until at last he arrived at an unknown island. "What am I to do without the captain and crew?" he lamented. Just then a parrot alighted on a branch nearby and squawked, "I am the admirrrral! I am the admirrral!"

"Well if I have not a captain, I shall have to make do with an admiral," thought the sailor to himself, and he took the parrot on board.

The parrot was called Petey, and he knew as much about sailing as a rooster does about laying eggs. Howe'er, Petey was as stern and as self-important as some of the most captain-like of captains. All day long he would sit on the flagstaff and call out: "I am the admirrral, I am!"

The poor sailor had his work cut out for him each day to draw water, swab the decks, and cook meals. "We cannot go on like this," he said one morning. "We shall have to find a deck-hand somewhere."

So they sailed on and were approaching an unknown shore when they spotted a brown bear collecting honey. "We have plenty of honey aboard!" the seaman shouted out to him. "You can have a sailor's cap and you may work as a deck-hand." The bear agreed to the offer. "My name is Brutus," he stated, as he lumbered aboard.

It was merrier right away with three of them, but Brutus the Bear was not one for hard work. He liked naught better than snoozing, or licking the dishes and snooping around looking for pots of honey. The sailor had to do e'erything else himself. "This is no good," he proclaimed. "We must at least find ourselves a cook!"

And he steered toward a nearby island. . .

On the island they found a little monkey swinging from the trees. "What is your name?" the sailor called out, but the monkey did not reply. The sailor pulled a face at the impolite creature; the monkey did the same. The sailor stuck out his tongue; so did the monkey. Being a monkey, it could only monkey around. But, the sailor took it aboard just the same.

They decided to call her Molly. They gave her a little white apron, and she became their cook. Molly was not the least bit lazy, but whate'er the sailor wanted her to do, he first had to do it himself. That way they always cooked the same food twice; first by the sailor, then by the monkey. They ate so well that they always fell asleep on the spot: Petey the Parrot on the flagstaff, Brutus the Bear in a tub of marmalade, Molly the Monkey hanging by her tail from the mast, and the sad sailor in a barrel of salted herring.

One day, as they were slumbering, their ship was spotted by pirates. The filthy rogues sailed closer. "Let us board her and plunder her, then we shall send her to the bottom of the sea!" said the pirate captain. "Have at them!" he called out, and the pirates began to hurl kegs of gunpowder aboard the other ship. Boom! Boom! Boom!

The first to wake up was Petey the Parrot. He blinked one eye and squawked loudly, "I am the admirrral, I am!" The pirates were startled. "Could it really be an admiral's flagship?" they wondered. Then Brutus the Bear crawled out of the marmalade tub. "Help!" cried the pirates. "A sea-devil!" At that Molly the Monkey woke up, swung along on her tail and seeing the pirates hurling kegs of powder at their ship, began to copy them and threw at them e'erything she could lay her little paws on. Finally the sailor hauled himself out of the barrel of herrings. He was covered all o'er in fisk-scales, and had a herring between his teeth.

The rogues thought it was Neptune himself. They were so scared they leaped into the water, and before they could swim ashore they were eaten by sharks. The seaman and his rag-tag animal crew of three eventually sailed to the pirates' island and raised their flag triumphantly. There they found chests of gold, sweet nuts and more pots of fine honey.

They built themselves a cottage. And as far as I know, they are still living on that island to this very day.