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Freelance Journalist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
It's Beltane, Asshat: Friday Night Coverage! May 5, 2012
In the immortal words of Aimee Malone: It's Beltane, Asshat. Who doesn't come out for this"
Yeah, like I'd miss Beltane. Me. The lover of Beltane and all things Beltaney. No sir, I'm melt-ane for Beltane, and made the trip all the way from some remote tropical island on Earth to witness this unforgettable night. Didn't see me there" Well clearly you either suck at people watching or you were too preoccupied with your baby-making talk to notice. But you know what? I won't let it get to me. I look so amazingly tan and ripped after the last four months in Fiji you probably didn't even recognize me. But just remember for next time: That hot piece of man over there" That's me.
Ho-yeah, I made it. I loved it. Therefore, I must write about it. This little blurb of mine, would you believe it, is being published all the way from our temporary office in LA on Earth. Technology! And guess what? Even though the Post still isn't back in business, we have actually managed to have our mail rerouted to Earth. So love us" Miss us" (And by us, I mean me.) Write us!
I miss RhyDin! Or more specifically, I miss writing about your hideous secrets and airing your dirty laundry. So let's get to that, shall we"
Gah-rowl. Aimee is looking rather fine as a blonde these days. It looks like getting her hair dyed for 21Twelve's latest project was one heck of a brilliant ploy on Rivka's end. All that's left is sending her straight over to a plastic surgeon at Riverview and she'll fit right in with the bimbos. I've gotta give credit to her guy, Randy, though. Either he hasn't noticed that anything is different, or he's playing off her makeover very cool, which is aces in the cool guy handbook. Very smooth, man. That's a dangerous game to play, though, because if you exercise that maneuver too often, next thing you know she'll stop shaving. Godspeed in that endeavor, Randy. Godspeed.
LOOOOOCKE! We never see Locke anymore! It was awesome to see him, but I do have a bit of a bone to pick. The dashing, dastardly debonair dude of dudedom reportedly showed up with (big surprise) Katarina " who looked fabulous in bright colors and, what else, ballet flats " and seemed to be having a grand old time until he caught a glimpse of Beltane Queenie Eless" Whereupon he just so happened to drop Katarina like a hot potato when Eless so much as batted her eyelashes at him. Wow. Where did that come from' I get that he's been cooped up from somewhere and may have a serious case of blue rhymes-with-smalls (get it' Because he's blue), but that was a little rude. Not that I blame him. Eless is one smokin" babe, and adding all those gems and jewels and roses is like fanning the flames of flowery hotness. Smell that smoke" It sure ain't the bonfires. But it may very well be my burning loins.
Yeah, yeah. Keep your STD jokes to yourselves, perverts.
Speaking of Eless " who is the best choice for Queenie, by the way " I just have to ask: What is Luke on lately' OK. Am I the only one who thinks it was a weird thing of him to do to ask Kalamere to be a groomsman at his and Eless" wedding" Yes, yes, I know the rumor is Kalamere and Yeardley have a thing going on, but really' Hey buddy, I know you used to flirt shamelessly with my fianc"e right here, and at multiple points probably envisioned her naked, but you should totally be a part of our wedding anyway. Oh, and while I'm at it, I think I'll throw in a few bondage jokes about the two of us just to make you uncomfortable. I know Kalamere is a stand-up guy who isn't going to let something like that bother him, but really, am I really the only one here who thinks that's strange"
I love how the abject absence of booze always spotlights RhyDin's biggest boozehounds (coughYEARDLEYcoughcough). My buddies and I had a drinking game of our own that night, you see: Take a shot every time you see someone whip a flask out of their pocket. By the end of the night I couldn't tell where my feet were and why I was suddenly holding onto Ed Batten's wallet. Which reminds me; I honestly don't get how something that spends all day being nestled up to a billionaire's buttcheeks can still reek of roses and manliness, but then you never know what kind of new stuff this guy is investing in. It could easily be butt deodorant. Real estate" Please. Oh. By the way, I'm keeping the money clip.
Aaaaand the In-And-Out Award this time goes to: AMTHY! Amthy, the bubbling bundle of brightness was spotted, but not for long. Amthy being Amthy, she was all swirly and giggles and kisses, and then was gone forever, not unlike a certain SCOT we used to think we knew (YOU NEVER WRITE ANYMORE). Her quick disappearance was actually rather surprising, seeing as the vibe the Glen and Beltane give off would ideally be right up her ally. Maybe she was preoccupied doing other swirly giggly things. We'll catch up with her next time!
Man. Women in RhyDin don't waste time, do they' I don't know who the guy was that Joey showed up with, but I only think I've seen him making a rare appearance every few months or so, and never for long. The way things looked, though, those two were quite cozy and left not long after they arrived. I'm not going to say that women need to be oppressed or anything, but they need something that occupies their time besides romance around here. Form a union or something, I don't know. But they need to realize that life is not one big romance novel. Or Playboy magazine. What' I read them for the articles.
It's Beltane, Asshat: Friday Night Coverage! May 5, 2012
In the immortal words of Aimee Malone: It's Beltane, Asshat. Who doesn't come out for this"
Yeah, like I'd miss Beltane. Me. The lover of Beltane and all things Beltaney. No sir, I'm melt-ane for Beltane, and made the trip all the way from some remote tropical island on Earth to witness this unforgettable night. Didn't see me there" Well clearly you either suck at people watching or you were too preoccupied with your baby-making talk to notice. But you know what? I won't let it get to me. I look so amazingly tan and ripped after the last four months in Fiji you probably didn't even recognize me. But just remember for next time: That hot piece of man over there" That's me.
Ho-yeah, I made it. I loved it. Therefore, I must write about it. This little blurb of mine, would you believe it, is being published all the way from our temporary office in LA on Earth. Technology! And guess what? Even though the Post still isn't back in business, we have actually managed to have our mail rerouted to Earth. So love us" Miss us" (And by us, I mean me.) Write us!
I miss RhyDin! Or more specifically, I miss writing about your hideous secrets and airing your dirty laundry. So let's get to that, shall we"
Gah-rowl. Aimee is looking rather fine as a blonde these days. It looks like getting her hair dyed for 21Twelve's latest project was one heck of a brilliant ploy on Rivka's end. All that's left is sending her straight over to a plastic surgeon at Riverview and she'll fit right in with the bimbos. I've gotta give credit to her guy, Randy, though. Either he hasn't noticed that anything is different, or he's playing off her makeover very cool, which is aces in the cool guy handbook. Very smooth, man. That's a dangerous game to play, though, because if you exercise that maneuver too often, next thing you know she'll stop shaving. Godspeed in that endeavor, Randy. Godspeed.
LOOOOOCKE! We never see Locke anymore! It was awesome to see him, but I do have a bit of a bone to pick. The dashing, dastardly debonair dude of dudedom reportedly showed up with (big surprise) Katarina " who looked fabulous in bright colors and, what else, ballet flats " and seemed to be having a grand old time until he caught a glimpse of Beltane Queenie Eless" Whereupon he just so happened to drop Katarina like a hot potato when Eless so much as batted her eyelashes at him. Wow. Where did that come from' I get that he's been cooped up from somewhere and may have a serious case of blue rhymes-with-smalls (get it' Because he's blue), but that was a little rude. Not that I blame him. Eless is one smokin" babe, and adding all those gems and jewels and roses is like fanning the flames of flowery hotness. Smell that smoke" It sure ain't the bonfires. But it may very well be my burning loins.
Yeah, yeah. Keep your STD jokes to yourselves, perverts.
Speaking of Eless " who is the best choice for Queenie, by the way " I just have to ask: What is Luke on lately' OK. Am I the only one who thinks it was a weird thing of him to do to ask Kalamere to be a groomsman at his and Eless" wedding" Yes, yes, I know the rumor is Kalamere and Yeardley have a thing going on, but really' Hey buddy, I know you used to flirt shamelessly with my fianc"e right here, and at multiple points probably envisioned her naked, but you should totally be a part of our wedding anyway. Oh, and while I'm at it, I think I'll throw in a few bondage jokes about the two of us just to make you uncomfortable. I know Kalamere is a stand-up guy who isn't going to let something like that bother him, but really, am I really the only one here who thinks that's strange"
I love how the abject absence of booze always spotlights RhyDin's biggest boozehounds (coughYEARDLEYcoughcough). My buddies and I had a drinking game of our own that night, you see: Take a shot every time you see someone whip a flask out of their pocket. By the end of the night I couldn't tell where my feet were and why I was suddenly holding onto Ed Batten's wallet. Which reminds me; I honestly don't get how something that spends all day being nestled up to a billionaire's buttcheeks can still reek of roses and manliness, but then you never know what kind of new stuff this guy is investing in. It could easily be butt deodorant. Real estate" Please. Oh. By the way, I'm keeping the money clip.
Aaaaand the In-And-Out Award this time goes to: AMTHY! Amthy, the bubbling bundle of brightness was spotted, but not for long. Amthy being Amthy, she was all swirly and giggles and kisses, and then was gone forever, not unlike a certain SCOT we used to think we knew (YOU NEVER WRITE ANYMORE). Her quick disappearance was actually rather surprising, seeing as the vibe the Glen and Beltane give off would ideally be right up her ally. Maybe she was preoccupied doing other swirly giggly things. We'll catch up with her next time!
Man. Women in RhyDin don't waste time, do they' I don't know who the guy was that Joey showed up with, but I only think I've seen him making a rare appearance every few months or so, and never for long. The way things looked, though, those two were quite cozy and left not long after they arrived. I'm not going to say that women need to be oppressed or anything, but they need something that occupies their time besides romance around here. Form a union or something, I don't know. But they need to realize that life is not one big romance novel. Or Playboy magazine. What' I read them for the articles.