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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
A Winterval Wrap-Up! December 20, 2010
We're almost at my second favorite holiday, RhyDin, and I'm already feeling the festive spirit! My eggnog is heavily spiked, my fire is roaring, and I've got some jolly RhyDin tunes rocking on my music player. And I tell you what, I think I like the RhyDin rendition of "Let it Snow" infinitely better than those other lousy lyrics:
Oh the terror outside's descending, But of course, we're all pretending, And whatever you do, don't say: "I'm a slave, I'm a slave, I'm a slave!"
Oh while sympathy's so amusing, Your dignity you're losing, For no one cares when you rave: "I'm a slave, I'm a slave, I'm a slave!"
Try getting that one out of your head.
But from what I've heard, chilling next to the fire or getting embarrassingly drunk at the office Christmas party isn't the only way to celebrate around here. (Although that reminds me: if I see any of those pictures show up on the extranet, words are going to be had.) My sources tell me there was one heck of a shindig going down Saturday night in the form of a Winterval celebration, all hosted and meticulously put together by the magical Mataya. And boy howdy, if you didn't get the opportunity to taste this piece of festivity, then I am sorry to say you sure missed out!
The event was much, much more than a winter wonderland and sparkly and glittery enough to make pretend vampires avert their eyes. While the news is Mataya got her stage crew to help with the setup, we still have to give her mad props for the elegant decorations and giving birth to the idea. She was accompanied by none other than that guy Max - someone she seems to have a complicated relationship with if ever we saw one. Things were further complicated by the fact that Max arrived in drag. Apparently he was in costume as Lucretia (one of the Ugly Sisters) and promoting the pantomime Cinderella that will be running from the 27th of December to the 16th of January at the Shanachie Theatre (plugging" Who's plugging"). But we don't buy it. That guy looked way too comfortable in a dress and lipstick, and I'm willing to bet that's the kind of thing he enjoys doing just because. More power to him. I don't think I could ever walk that well if I tried to wear heels.
Mesteno, Samiel, and Gem showed up together, cozy enough on each others' arms to be more than roommates. As their discussion tapered into the exact purposes of mistletoe (really' Where is Scotty when you need him' You're slacking, brother) Mesteno and Samiel hovered around the gorgeously elegant social butterfly that is Gem looking decidedly and delightfully awkward. Come to think of it, Samiel and Mesteno are among those rare kinds of people that don't really fit into any one category of RhyDinian. Wherever they offer their presence, these two stand out - and they should! They are awkward, see, but not socially awkward like certain Barons who shall remain nameless. They're unique and interesting, but tastefully so....like the lone Picasso in a room full of Renoirs. And in a town full of cookie cutout characters, it is most definitely a relief to be able to admire a pair so deliciously different!
Holy hell does Stephen clean up well! He was spotted with his lovely woman, Diana, in a very gentlemanly burgundy getup and looking like he just walked out of a Charles Dickens novel. That classic image was promptly shattered, however, after he received a pair of X-ray glasses from Father Christmas, who was taking up the role of gift-giving that night. Then he just spent an obnoxious amount of time gawking at presumably undergarments for the remainder of the night. And apparently, Diana didn't seem to have any problem with it. Aren't these two supposed to be in a serious relationship" Oh, you're probably right. Stephen" Serious" Ha.
Holy competition, Batman! I was thuh-rilled to hear that leggy-liscious Katarina found time out of her busy schedule to make a public appearance! Word has it she caught up with RhyDin's Sexiest Woman, Eless, earlier in the evening and was showered with praise over how wonderful the RhyDin Ballet Troupe's rendition of a Christmas Carol is! Hear, hear! If you lazies haven't had the chance to go out and see it yet, you simply must! Katarina received the praise with grace and humility, which honestly makes us adore her even more. No word yet on whether she plans to have a closing night party, but even if she doesn't she should expect something congratulatory from us!
Katarina wasn't the only one Eless caught up with that night. Evidently she and the always elegant Sylvia spent a good part of the evening passing innuendos and inside jokes around. Just another reason we positively worship RhyDin's Sexiest Woman - she may make Santa's "nice" list annually, but we're willing to bet if he looked just a little bit closer he could find a naughty thing or two about her!
Father Christmas sure did bring out the child in just about everyone, though! At some point during the night he recruited Kaylee Granger and a shy, adorable little thing named Katt to be his helpers. While Katt was quick to take a shine to her duties, Kaylee didn't quite seem to comprehend the spirit of helpfulness that often comes during the Yuletide season. This chick was all business when it came to handing out presents, and if she were just a little bit brighter and a little more boring, we could totally see her working with some kind of Santa Secret Service. At least then she would get all the presents she wanted. Nevertheless, those two at least had a say in brightening more that a few RhyDinians' nights, namely charming the deliciously smexy Granger Number Three (Lola, to all you smart-alecks out there) into an uncharacteristically excellent and cheerful mood. That family sure is making one heck of an impact on the RhyDin social circle!
Since when has Audrey been a babysitter" We sure hope that little cherub she spent the night with wasn't her daughter, but hey, in RhyDin you never know these things. Our favorite candy hoarder played would-be mentor while looking utterly smashing in winterwear, which leads me to take this opportunity to encourage her to wear such things more often. But however grown-up she might have dressed, after receiving her gift from Jolly 'ol Saint Nick, Candycane (that's Audrey to all of you!) reportedly regressed to about five years old and seemed to be the one needing babysitting. We really hope this babe doesn't stumble into a too-serious relationship in the coming year before she has time to grow.
Maybe soon-to-be mommy EmDoc can answer this for us, but isn't Petyr a little old to be petted and cooed over by his mother" If you're old enough to be drooling over Rand in leather trousers and to be bedding another fellow, then honestly you're old enough not to be pouting when you can't sit in mommy's lap. EmDoc and Mancake (that's Antonio to all of you) evidently didn't seem to mind, as they were too busy NOT talking to Chryrie as she wandered in on the arm of ANOTHER MAN! O.M.G!!! And not just any man, with DRUID! When did this happen"! We can only assume based on this RADICAL change of events that things are over between Triple A and C (which was beginning to sound like a bad car insurance advertisement), and while I have to admit that Druid and Chryrie look utterly fantastic together and really seem to click, I simply have to know what happened! Judging by one or two comments uttered after EmDoc and Mancake left, one can only assume it didn't end well! AAAH! Tell me, tell me, tell me!!!
On a side note, those kids of EmDoc's need to hurry up and get here. Poor thing is wasting her precious talent perfecting the art of making cookies when she SHOULD be saving lives. Seriously. What's the hold up"
Who was that good-looking fellow seen flirting shamelessly with Shy' I thought I knew who it was, but then I heard that someone screamed the name "Bjorn" and he looked up. Well whatever this guy's name is, he certainly seems to have quite a story behind him. Though my interns tell me he hasn't been spotted around in public in RhyDin for much longer than a few months, he already appears to have it in with RhyDin's elite. Indeed, he and Shy and he and Eless were seen making googly eyes on and off again throughout the night. Some guys have all the luck. Honestly! Tell us your secret, dude. How is it that some people can come to RhyDin and take years to make lasting friendships, but others just adopt a second family or have women falling all over them right off the bat' And Viking women, no less! Mad skills, this one has!
Bjorn may have had googly eyes following him around, but apparently Riley doesn't do googly so well. Maybe she just doesn't google. Apparently Riley was spotted giving handsome Bjorn the stink-eye while ex-constable Hotstuff hovered, none the wiser. So either he is completely oblivious as to his woman's channeled rage, or he was pointedly ignoring it. That could only mean' GASP! Is not all well in Hotland" Do I sense a scandalous love triangle in the making" Are unrequited feelings ricocheting hither and thither in this catty household" But most importantly, where did ex-constable Hotstuff get those pants" We are so keeping an eye on these three!
O.M.G.! Oh-em-gee youguise! Am I hallucinating on all this incense I have burning in here, or was DIRK present and accounted for at the Winterval celebration"! Not only that, but word has it he brought Quinn with him as well, and they were just as delightfully wicked as everyone remembers! Those two did not leave each others' company once the entire night which seriously made us "awwww?" that is, until we caught wind of the conversation the two of them (at the same time) while perched on Santa's lap. Apparently Santa was perfectly happy to exchange naughty remarks with those two, and while that is certainly something we have come to expect out of Dirk and Quinn, it is not something that should be spoken by Father Christmas! Yeck! Who do they hire for these things" It's no wonder Nigel was eying the man in the red suit suspiciously! Call security!
You people! Really! Clean your minds up! Maybe Santa isn't so much to blame for being a dirty old man - maybe it's people like those three women we didn't recognize who were chatting amongst themselves about wedding Saint Nick himself! More power to you ladies for expanding your horizons, but speaking for all of us here at the Gossip Column: That is one fetish we're way excited NOT to get on board with.
Until next time, you stay sassy and have fabulous holidays, RhyDin!
A Winterval Wrap-Up! December 20, 2010
We're almost at my second favorite holiday, RhyDin, and I'm already feeling the festive spirit! My eggnog is heavily spiked, my fire is roaring, and I've got some jolly RhyDin tunes rocking on my music player. And I tell you what, I think I like the RhyDin rendition of "Let it Snow" infinitely better than those other lousy lyrics:
Oh the terror outside's descending, But of course, we're all pretending, And whatever you do, don't say: "I'm a slave, I'm a slave, I'm a slave!"
Oh while sympathy's so amusing, Your dignity you're losing, For no one cares when you rave: "I'm a slave, I'm a slave, I'm a slave!"
Try getting that one out of your head.
But from what I've heard, chilling next to the fire or getting embarrassingly drunk at the office Christmas party isn't the only way to celebrate around here. (Although that reminds me: if I see any of those pictures show up on the extranet, words are going to be had.) My sources tell me there was one heck of a shindig going down Saturday night in the form of a Winterval celebration, all hosted and meticulously put together by the magical Mataya. And boy howdy, if you didn't get the opportunity to taste this piece of festivity, then I am sorry to say you sure missed out!
The event was much, much more than a winter wonderland and sparkly and glittery enough to make pretend vampires avert their eyes. While the news is Mataya got her stage crew to help with the setup, we still have to give her mad props for the elegant decorations and giving birth to the idea. She was accompanied by none other than that guy Max - someone she seems to have a complicated relationship with if ever we saw one. Things were further complicated by the fact that Max arrived in drag. Apparently he was in costume as Lucretia (one of the Ugly Sisters) and promoting the pantomime Cinderella that will be running from the 27th of December to the 16th of January at the Shanachie Theatre (plugging" Who's plugging"). But we don't buy it. That guy looked way too comfortable in a dress and lipstick, and I'm willing to bet that's the kind of thing he enjoys doing just because. More power to him. I don't think I could ever walk that well if I tried to wear heels.
Mesteno, Samiel, and Gem showed up together, cozy enough on each others' arms to be more than roommates. As their discussion tapered into the exact purposes of mistletoe (really' Where is Scotty when you need him' You're slacking, brother) Mesteno and Samiel hovered around the gorgeously elegant social butterfly that is Gem looking decidedly and delightfully awkward. Come to think of it, Samiel and Mesteno are among those rare kinds of people that don't really fit into any one category of RhyDinian. Wherever they offer their presence, these two stand out - and they should! They are awkward, see, but not socially awkward like certain Barons who shall remain nameless. They're unique and interesting, but tastefully so....like the lone Picasso in a room full of Renoirs. And in a town full of cookie cutout characters, it is most definitely a relief to be able to admire a pair so deliciously different!
Holy hell does Stephen clean up well! He was spotted with his lovely woman, Diana, in a very gentlemanly burgundy getup and looking like he just walked out of a Charles Dickens novel. That classic image was promptly shattered, however, after he received a pair of X-ray glasses from Father Christmas, who was taking up the role of gift-giving that night. Then he just spent an obnoxious amount of time gawking at presumably undergarments for the remainder of the night. And apparently, Diana didn't seem to have any problem with it. Aren't these two supposed to be in a serious relationship" Oh, you're probably right. Stephen" Serious" Ha.
Holy competition, Batman! I was thuh-rilled to hear that leggy-liscious Katarina found time out of her busy schedule to make a public appearance! Word has it she caught up with RhyDin's Sexiest Woman, Eless, earlier in the evening and was showered with praise over how wonderful the RhyDin Ballet Troupe's rendition of a Christmas Carol is! Hear, hear! If you lazies haven't had the chance to go out and see it yet, you simply must! Katarina received the praise with grace and humility, which honestly makes us adore her even more. No word yet on whether she plans to have a closing night party, but even if she doesn't she should expect something congratulatory from us!
Katarina wasn't the only one Eless caught up with that night. Evidently she and the always elegant Sylvia spent a good part of the evening passing innuendos and inside jokes around. Just another reason we positively worship RhyDin's Sexiest Woman - she may make Santa's "nice" list annually, but we're willing to bet if he looked just a little bit closer he could find a naughty thing or two about her!
Father Christmas sure did bring out the child in just about everyone, though! At some point during the night he recruited Kaylee Granger and a shy, adorable little thing named Katt to be his helpers. While Katt was quick to take a shine to her duties, Kaylee didn't quite seem to comprehend the spirit of helpfulness that often comes during the Yuletide season. This chick was all business when it came to handing out presents, and if she were just a little bit brighter and a little more boring, we could totally see her working with some kind of Santa Secret Service. At least then she would get all the presents she wanted. Nevertheless, those two at least had a say in brightening more that a few RhyDinians' nights, namely charming the deliciously smexy Granger Number Three (Lola, to all you smart-alecks out there) into an uncharacteristically excellent and cheerful mood. That family sure is making one heck of an impact on the RhyDin social circle!
Since when has Audrey been a babysitter" We sure hope that little cherub she spent the night with wasn't her daughter, but hey, in RhyDin you never know these things. Our favorite candy hoarder played would-be mentor while looking utterly smashing in winterwear, which leads me to take this opportunity to encourage her to wear such things more often. But however grown-up she might have dressed, after receiving her gift from Jolly 'ol Saint Nick, Candycane (that's Audrey to all of you!) reportedly regressed to about five years old and seemed to be the one needing babysitting. We really hope this babe doesn't stumble into a too-serious relationship in the coming year before she has time to grow.
Maybe soon-to-be mommy EmDoc can answer this for us, but isn't Petyr a little old to be petted and cooed over by his mother" If you're old enough to be drooling over Rand in leather trousers and to be bedding another fellow, then honestly you're old enough not to be pouting when you can't sit in mommy's lap. EmDoc and Mancake (that's Antonio to all of you) evidently didn't seem to mind, as they were too busy NOT talking to Chryrie as she wandered in on the arm of ANOTHER MAN! O.M.G!!! And not just any man, with DRUID! When did this happen"! We can only assume based on this RADICAL change of events that things are over between Triple A and C (which was beginning to sound like a bad car insurance advertisement), and while I have to admit that Druid and Chryrie look utterly fantastic together and really seem to click, I simply have to know what happened! Judging by one or two comments uttered after EmDoc and Mancake left, one can only assume it didn't end well! AAAH! Tell me, tell me, tell me!!!
On a side note, those kids of EmDoc's need to hurry up and get here. Poor thing is wasting her precious talent perfecting the art of making cookies when she SHOULD be saving lives. Seriously. What's the hold up"
Who was that good-looking fellow seen flirting shamelessly with Shy' I thought I knew who it was, but then I heard that someone screamed the name "Bjorn" and he looked up. Well whatever this guy's name is, he certainly seems to have quite a story behind him. Though my interns tell me he hasn't been spotted around in public in RhyDin for much longer than a few months, he already appears to have it in with RhyDin's elite. Indeed, he and Shy and he and Eless were seen making googly eyes on and off again throughout the night. Some guys have all the luck. Honestly! Tell us your secret, dude. How is it that some people can come to RhyDin and take years to make lasting friendships, but others just adopt a second family or have women falling all over them right off the bat' And Viking women, no less! Mad skills, this one has!
Bjorn may have had googly eyes following him around, but apparently Riley doesn't do googly so well. Maybe she just doesn't google. Apparently Riley was spotted giving handsome Bjorn the stink-eye while ex-constable Hotstuff hovered, none the wiser. So either he is completely oblivious as to his woman's channeled rage, or he was pointedly ignoring it. That could only mean' GASP! Is not all well in Hotland" Do I sense a scandalous love triangle in the making" Are unrequited feelings ricocheting hither and thither in this catty household" But most importantly, where did ex-constable Hotstuff get those pants" We are so keeping an eye on these three!
O.M.G.! Oh-em-gee youguise! Am I hallucinating on all this incense I have burning in here, or was DIRK present and accounted for at the Winterval celebration"! Not only that, but word has it he brought Quinn with him as well, and they were just as delightfully wicked as everyone remembers! Those two did not leave each others' company once the entire night which seriously made us "awwww?" that is, until we caught wind of the conversation the two of them (at the same time) while perched on Santa's lap. Apparently Santa was perfectly happy to exchange naughty remarks with those two, and while that is certainly something we have come to expect out of Dirk and Quinn, it is not something that should be spoken by Father Christmas! Yeck! Who do they hire for these things" It's no wonder Nigel was eying the man in the red suit suspiciously! Call security!
You people! Really! Clean your minds up! Maybe Santa isn't so much to blame for being a dirty old man - maybe it's people like those three women we didn't recognize who were chatting amongst themselves about wedding Saint Nick himself! More power to you ladies for expanding your horizons, but speaking for all of us here at the Gossip Column: That is one fetish we're way excited NOT to get on board with.
Until next time, you stay sassy and have fabulous holidays, RhyDin!