Topic: Annoyed Voters Call for Recount

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-04-28 14:54 EST
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Smilingwomanwithcrossedarmsuid11-1.jpg Amelia Enderwood: Satirist

Annoyed Voters Call for Recount; Individual ballots to be 'reviewed" by sore losers April 28, 2010

A group of mildly irritated voters mingled outside the Governor's office today, occasionally quietly berating government officials as they went about their business.

Disgruntled, muted heckling has been heard by as many as five voters since ten o"clock this morning. So far, their demands have been powerful, authoritative, and concrete:

"Um, yes, um, excuse me, um' I think it would, um, be a good idea, um, that is, um, if you wouldn't find it, um, too much of an, um, encumbrance" That it would, um, be kind of nice if you, um, gave us another, um, look at those, um, election results," taunted Eugene Brickerson, head of the thriving movement.

Added Brickerson: ?" but only if you really want to!"

According to the group of five, now calling themselves the Driscol Strikers, the outcome of the election has come across as highly suspect, given the closeness and the timing of the vote.

"I have it under good authority that Driscol paid a bunch of gnomes to switch the ballots before they were counted," Valentin Ove, local choreographer, said. "He's got the whole union in his pocket, don't you know?"

Added Ove: "Besides" I did my very best to rig the election in Simon's favor. This is just plain infuriating!"

"I, for one, take issue with his hair," argued Flitterstar Cloverflower, self-proclaimed hippie. "No man with hair that perfect isn't hiding secrets in it."

"This has been a very difficult time for me," Darren Rummage, local mechanic, said, as he completed his crudely-pasted Driscol Blows sign. "It's been challenging pretending to actually give a <censored> about politics these days."

"I am in complete shock and am utterly disgusted," Dorothy Miller, mother of two, said. "I honestly can't believe that Rick picked Emily over Bredna on RhyDin's Premier Singles."

According to Brickerson, the percentage of angry voters outside the Governor's office almost jumped by twenty percent when a new citizen arrived.

"Oh' is this not the line for sandwiches?" feuded the potential Driscol Striker before he departed once again, undoubtedly to fetch more avid supporters.

"We demand that the state spend inordinate amounts of money to remedy this situation," argued Cloverflower. "Or at least to buy us a new city to live in. I refuse to live in a place where Driscol is Governor!"

In related news, the Driscol Strikers have disbanded temporarily after facing charges for loitering outside a federal building.



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