- End footage Round 1. Roll footage, Round 2. FDK/FCP 2-0 Ar"Din. "
Ar"Din: He's under the parry and around Dyarhk to the right, the flat of his dagger drawn across the man's hip.
Dyarhk: Takes collected steps back.
Peter: Here we see evidence of the years and years of Ar"Din's experience. You know" call me crazy, but that looked something like an appel there.
Chris: It did" Let me see that again. - Pause. " Eh, not quite an appel. If he had stomped his foot a little harder it would have been more effective, but"
Peter: Why don't you educate our viewers on what you're talking about, Chris"
Chris: Ah, yes. An appel is a maneuver " usually used in fencing " where one stamps his foot loudly to distract an opponent. It usually precedes a lunge or some kind of change in stance. I don't think that's quite what Ar"Din was going for here, but his jarring shift in position was a good enough distraction to get that hit in very smoothly. A smooth operator, he is.
Peter: You know, I do think your dueling knowledge is your only redeeming quality, Chris.
Chris: That's not true. I have tons of other likable attributes. Let me stay at your place and I'll tell you all about them.
Peter: I'd prefer to be blissfully unaware.
- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3. FCP/TH 3-0 Ar"Din. "
Ar"Din: The rapier meeting Dyarhk's lunge and directing it aside, while he strikes at his opponent's exposed arm with his dagger.
Dyarhk: His exposed arm lets go of that axe and depends upon his other to hold it while he flexes its fingers some steps back. His green eyes focused on Kalamere.
Chris: Oh, wow. What a beautiful coul".
Peter: Coul?"
Chris: Where'd you learn your fencing knowledge, Pete" From The Mask of Zorro"
Peter: No, but I"
Chris: - Interrupting. " Because I wouldn't blame you. That Antonio Banderas is pretty freaking cool. Did you see him in Desperado' He carried guns in a guitar case. A GUITAR CASE! Made me be suspicious of every musician from then on out.
Peter: Chris. Fencing. Focus.
Chris: A coul" involves sliding one's blade along his opponent's, using it as leverage for a follow-up attack.
Peter: Technically Dyarhk has an axe"
Chris: Is it sharp"
Peter: Uh' yes"
Chris: Does he use it to slice people"
Peter: Well I'm not sure"
Chris: Then I'll darn well call it a blade if I want to call it a blade.
Peter: Whatever you want, Chris.
Chris: Really' So I'll just take the guest bedroom, then"
Peter: No.
- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. FDK/LC 3-1 Ar"Din. "
Dyarhk: Contrary to any rage building up, he methodically guides this move same as he always did. Never to draw blood with an edge, but to sweep the monolithic weapon into the shins of his opponent and disrupt his balance.
Ar"Din: Judged that entirely wrong and finds himself bowled over by the force of the axe.
Peter: It's excellent to see Dyarhk's real potential shining here. Moreover we see the real reason behind Dyarhk's choice of weapon. His technique centers around being able to manipulate his center of gravity and channel that force into his weapon. That takes years of practice in and of itself.
Chris: Oh yeah. Dyaaar" Dyar definitely has the upper hand in terms of brute strength here. And wielding an unbalanced weapon like that takes a staggering amount of control.
Peter: I couldn't have said it better myself.
Chris: By the way, Pete" I hope you don't mind. I borrowed your toothbrush.
Peter: How could you have borrowed my toothbrush' My toothbrush is at my house.
Chris: I was kind of already there to take a shower.
Peter: You broke into my house and used my shower"
Chris: I have combination skin, Pete. It needs to be exfoliated every two days.
Peter: That's it. I'm taking my address off the company roster.
Chris: Too late. Also, lighten up on the hydrangeas out front. I realize what kind of message you want to send to potential suitors, but jeez, Pete. That amount of pink and baby blue is enough to even make someone's gaydar malfunction. - Thud. " Ow.
- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. FSS/TH 4-1 Ar"Din. "
Ar"Din: With speed belying his size, he's simply not there are Dyarhk rushes forward....press the tip of the rapier gently to D's back as he's past to tally the point.
Dyarhk: With his axe held out and no one in his whole front view. He feels the tip and realizes that could have easily been a killshot as opposed from many of the other attacks of this fight that would have, hypothetically, gone on in a real battle. He looked over his shoulder and analyzed Kalamere a moment with sweaty black bangs hovering over his brows.
Peter: That was an admirable attempt on Dyarhk's part, but it looks like Ar"Din is just a touch faster here. If anything, his speed is one thing I truly admire him for.
Chris: We've had this discussion before. He's not your type, Pete. - Thud. " Ow.
Peter: It looks like Dyarhk is seeing the fatigue of three matches finally set in, though. It even takes him a few extra seconds to register that Ar"Din earned the point. No doubt that power-driven technique of his takes its toll on stamina.
Chris: That's it! He's the Powerdriver! No, wait, that sounds like some horrible stripper name. Well, unless" do we know what Dyaaaar" huhkuh' does as a job"
Peter: Don't you think you've insulted such an excellent duelist quite enough for the night"
Chris: Hey. Strippers are people too, Pete.
Peter: You would know. You married one.
Chris: Glitter Minx had such a big heart.
- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6. LC/FCP 4-2 Ar"Din. "
Dyarhk: Drove that circular roman shield with a hilt straight up into Kalamere almost uppercutting him with it.
Ar"Din: Drives the rapier low, but can't finish him off.
Chris: Oh, heck. What a move! Get that baby copyrighted and slap his picture on the back of a Meaties box, because that is a maneuver that deserves to live on in infamy.
Peter: I agree. The perfection with which Dyarhk backward bows here is" wait' Meaties"
Chris: RhyDin version of Wheaties. It's like a kind of savory dragon-bacon porridge. Imagine pulverized lard mixed with those artificial bacon bits that you put on salads. Goes really great over strawberry ice cream.
Peter: There are so many things wrong with that description.
Chris: Fine. It goes really well over strawberry ice cream. Grammar freak.
- End footage Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. HC/TH 4-3 Ar"Din. "
Dyarhk: Pushes that axe hard into Kal's chest with a bit of a roar.
Ar"Din: Scratches Rand from his list of callers for challenges, while falling back away from the bite of the axe.
Peter: Dyarhk isn't ready to give this one up without fighting for it, looks like. Seems as though he has some energy reserves he hasn't used up quite yet.
Chris: Brilliant way to get right in under that coup", Pete. But I have a very serious suggestion for" Axe man.
Peter: Dyarhk, Chris. It's not that hard to pronounce. And what is it"
Chris: He needs a beard. I'm sorry, but anyone who uses an axe needs a beard. It's just one of those things. Like whoever uses daggers has to be crazy hot or tattooed all to heck.
Peter: I don't think looks should matter, given his truly excellent technique.
Chris: I didn't make the rules, Pete. I only wish I did, because the requirement for being a female duelist would increase a cup size. - Thud. " I mean, it would increase in bra- OW. It wouldn't increase at all, because all our female duelists are excellent"
Peter: There should be a scholarship made from all the losses plaintiffs accrue when they sue us because of you.
- End footage Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8. LC/CP 4-3.5 Ar"Din. "
Dyarhk: Dyarhk is hidden behind a wall of gold and an eye of gemstone that is both impenetrable and unafraid to show Kalamere his reflection in before Dyarhk pokes his head up after some moments and shoves off the blades for a reset.
Ar"Din: Finds another cut batted away, forced to retreat and rethink his approach.
Chris: I have to give it to Axe Man here. He sure is taking up an aggressive strategy, albeit a little late in the match.
Peter: Better late than never, I suppose.
Chris: Like an invitation to your birthday party. I'm still waiting, Pete.
Peter: After last year's fiasco, it seems you have regrettably been left off the guest list.
Chris: Well whose stupid idea was it to make "inflammable" and "flammable" mean the same exact thing" Honestly.
- End footage Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. FSS/LP 5-3.5 Ar"Din. "
Ar"Din: Pulling out the parry from Dyarhk before drawing the blade back down and swiftly stepping around, dragging his dagger across D's shoulder for the final point.
Peter: And Ar"Din ends things almost as flashily and flawlessly as he began them, only further attesting to his thorough background in Swords. It was, however, a brilliant attempt on Dyarhk's part, and I should hope to see him make another attempt like that in the very near future.
- Camera returns to the studio, where Chris is using an electric razor. "
Chris: You know what I think" I think you're just afraid we'll have too much fun and you'll never want me to move out.
Peter: Yes, Chris. That's exactly what I think. - Looking at the camera. " Before we go, I've been instructed to let our viewers know that we will have a Q&A call-in session for an upcoming show. Our number is at the bottom of your screen and can be found on our website. So if there is something you would like to ask one or both of us or something you would like to share, that will be your opportunity! But now we must leave you, so until next time I'm Peter Pham!
Chris: And I need a roommate.
Peter: You stay sporty, RhyDin!
- End tape. "
