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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
Business Showcase Gala: Riches, Raunchiness and Radiance January 30, 2011
O.K. seriously. What is it you people really do for a living" Because I definitely need to get in on some of that action.
I don't know what the deal is with currency exchange in this town, but somehow it seems like everyone in RhyDin is capable of papering their walls with money. More power to you if you decide to spend it helping out orphans and foster kids, but somewhere I think I skipped a step in business management if I find myself annually breaking even. So what?s the deal" Is tax evasion the newest fad or something" Am I supposed to be selling information to rival businesses" Should I dress provocatively to attract more attention (no offense, Fi)" Or is there some mountain of money somewhere that only I don't know about"
Whether there is or not, it's at least good to know that while some RhyDinians are being self-absorbed spendthrifts, there are still those who are willing to throw thousands of dollars at a good cause. While we at the Post haven't had the privilege of getting much information about this Second Chances charitable program, we do know that if it has Lirissa's name behind it, it is most definitely solid. Apparently she decided to team up with bad girl Kendall Ergin to put this thing together. There's a name I never expected to see in connection with philanthropy. Then again, I have the feeling that we at the Post have only just scratched the surface of who exactly is Kendall Ergin.
Given how perfectly put-together the event was, you would never have guessed that this mash-up of business and pleasure was rescheduled only a week ago. But however difficult dealing with the change may have been, Fiora seemed to make up for lost time by dishing out snazzy prizes and doling out hugs and kisses to nearly every attendee. It strikes me, though, that for such an exceptional businesswoman Fi gets flustered just a little too easily. I don't know if it was the excitement of the evening or the stress of keeping everything from falling apart with her own two hands, but the twitchy bunnyrabbit that is Fiora Shantalaine most definitely behaved as though she started the evening off by inhaling about twelve espressos. We're all immensely impressed that the evening was such a resounding success, but it certainly was a shame to see her nearly tearing her hair out (when she wasn't shrieking about something or another, that is). Memo to self for next time: delegate!
I have a question for all you. What in the name of blazes and fiery things was Rekah doing ALONE all night"! This boundless bubble of fun and bounce reportedly spent her entire evening by the snack table with no date and no chaperone. Um, hello' In what ridiculous universe do we live when someone like Rekah has to leave a party early' Buy that girl some cookies and apologize!
I really don't know if drunken sorority girls can make alcoholism seem any classier than Quinn and Mack can. And by that, I mean they can't. I had high hopes for them when they showed up at the gala looking positively gorgeous, but even putting some beautiful dresses and jewels on those two and parading them around a charitable event can't diminish the "Girls Gone Wild" vibe they seem to give off in waves. Not that it's any surprise, but the testosterone-bearing component of their troublemaking trifecta (read: Gabe) was nowhere to be seen. I suppose it was an infinitesimally good thing, as his absence kept the conversation among them from becoming very inappropriate very quickly' for a small amount of time. As it turns out they decided to soothe their raging hormones by channeling their vulgarity onto some interesting fellow named Luke. I will say this much: I have to tip my hat at a man who keeps from giggling like a schoolboy when lubricants enter the conversation. Maybe there is some salvation in the future for those two, but I personally won't be holding my breath.
Fortunately there were plenty of others present that seemed to make up for the class being siphoned out of the atmosphere by the twisted sisters. One couple in particular seemed strangely out of place anywhere but in some kind of royal court and caught more than one intern's eye. While I am sad to say we missed the young lady's name, I hear the tall drink of water escorting her around the dance floor is named Julian. Though those two kept to themselves and didn't mince words, they do strike me as the kind of people who are tremendously conscious of the conversation they talk around. And those are, after all, the most interesting kinds of people.
One RhyDinian that I was perfectly thrilled to hear was present happened to be none other than Samilee Burke! It seems like we don't often see her doing anything but being lost in her own thoughts these days, and it was really a treat to see her" uh' getting trashed on champagne. Baby steps, right' At least the stunning Sami got the chance to chum it up with old pals Alain, Kate, and Cor, who when they weren't talking shop about the latest hockey news (and that reminds me! Someone find out if they're still taking applications, as we've had a few write in asking about it!) were spending obscene amounts of money on one-night sta— I mean, dates. One night dates. Now this is just a rumor, but apparently when questioned about his squeeze Delphi Cor was exceedingly vague and platonic, while at the same time expressing a keen interest in Fiora's assistant, JhaiNein. Iiiiinteresting. Though Cor doesn't necessarily strike me as the playboy type, you can never really understand people in this town. For all I know that constant eggy smell might have finally gone to his head and made him just snap and prompt a mid-life crisis. If that's the case, start looking for him by checking all the nearest convertible dealerships.
Speaking of JhaiNein, though. I don't know what it is with Fiora's little tight-knit bunch of groupies, but she certainly does seem to have some kind of members-only club going on, doesn't she" The happy little Plaza/Zen (Zen Plaza, maybe? I sense a possible apartment complex in the making!) bunch definitely appears to have their share of inside jokes - what some at our Gossip Column attribute to likely secret club meetings during work hours. But that there is a meeting I'd love to be a fly on the wall for, as I have got to know what the deal is between Euriya, Fi, and that lovely pair of legs, Dusky. Color me crazy, but I sense some history or inner turmoil there and I will not rest until I discover what it is!
Congratulations, Van. You are no longer the most overbearing psycho stalker boyfriend-slash-significant-other in RhyDin. You have been replaced by your older, more attractive counterpart Ryan Wilson. I don't know what Mindy sees in him, but from what my interns tell me that man was at her side like glue for the entire night. And that's perfectly fine for people desperately in love, but is it just me or did Mindy seem a tad distracted" Maybe even just a wee bit bored or tired" Maybe because said man was all up in her business stealing all her oxygen instead of doing the responsible thing and giving her some time alone by being at home with the kids. But that's just a third person's opinion.
Word has it Mancake (that's Antonio to all of you) was heard being a little full of himself in terms of finances. See now, that disappoints me. I get that Quintuple A is a family that is well off, but I would have thought Mancake was a little more humble and better than bluntly broadcasting his affluence. On the bright side we hear that new mommy EmDoc is on her way to saving lives again, though she seemed not particularly thrilled about the idea. Good lord, woman. There are very few people who have the gifts that you do for taking care of people! And I'd like to think that removing someone's brain tumor is infinitely more rewarding than making and eating muffins all day.
You'd imagine that for all the fuss Samiel makes over being in public, he and Mesteno would stop making appearances at big enormous events like this. But fortunately for us, that is not the case! Sources tell me our favorite handsome-slash-cranky pair got a chance to catch up with old standby of RhyDin, Rick. From what we've heard, anyone who's anyone goes way back with Rick, as evidenced by the way Gem (who is never far away from wherever Sam and Mesteno are) seemed all a-twitter with glee at seeing him. And who can blame her, really' Rick reminds me a little of Dris, if only for the way his charm is spectacularly contagious - so much so that he tends to draw positive interaction like a magnet. Rumor has it Gem was also overheard talking with Mesteno about his being auctioned off at some other event for something. Oh em gee! When did this happen, and how can we please make it happen again?"
That wasn't the only Oh Em Gee moment of the night, though. Dear me, what has happened to our Eless"! Somewhere in the process of dating that guy Michael, RhyDin's Sexiest Woman stepped up the wickedness in her life. And you know what? That's fine by us. Sources inform me that she arrived at the event looking dangerously sexy in some kind of gothic-inspired getup and promptly began playing social butterfly with Michael safely in tow. Now there is a bloke who knows how to behave in the presence of his gal. He hung back enough to let her do her thing, but spoke up enough to make sure he was not forgotten. Where in the Nexus did this guy come from, and can we recruit more bachelors from there"
And speaking of excellent men, no fewer than all the women at our Gossip Column were relieved to hear that he-Chase was spotted (as was she-Chase, I'm told) at the event and being the perfect gentleman aaaaaallll night. And by aaaaaallll night I am referring of course to the hour or two he was actually on the premises, because not long after RhyDin's Sexiest Man was auctioned off for a strangely small sum (compared to some others, really) he left in the company of someone obviously of particular interest to him. While my sources couldn't catch the name of the stunning woman he escorted out, I am told the two of them seemed positively smitten with each other. Well....it was either that, or they were absolutely infuriated with each other, but that's a fine, fine line to begin with, isn't it'
But on to she-Chase" this is probably going to be the only time I agree with I-am-legally-obligated-to-withhold-his-name, but SERIOUSLY, woman! If you want to get in a man's pants that badly, just slip something in his drink and haul him back to your place! I am told the simpering femme that is she-Chase netted herself local star Jonathan Granger for over twenty-two thousand dollars. And call me bitter, but she-Chase just doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who is glad to give so much out of charity! She reaaaaally wants time alone with this guy, and his squeeze Correy didn't seem too thrilled about it! But whether they were or not, the Granger bid certainly set the standard for obnoxiously high-priced dates for the rest of the night, with Luke going for over thirty thousand, Rand for over twenty-five, and Fiora for - hardy har har, Rand - sixty-nine thousand dollars.
You all deserve one hearty pat on the back for being so overwhelmingly generous! When you see Fi, do give her props for putting on an excellent show. And look at it this way: at least after last night you all can feel good about giving back to the community while you're making out with a complete stranger.
Until next time? You stay sassy, RhyDin!
Business Showcase Gala: Riches, Raunchiness and Radiance January 30, 2011
O.K. seriously. What is it you people really do for a living" Because I definitely need to get in on some of that action.
I don't know what the deal is with currency exchange in this town, but somehow it seems like everyone in RhyDin is capable of papering their walls with money. More power to you if you decide to spend it helping out orphans and foster kids, but somewhere I think I skipped a step in business management if I find myself annually breaking even. So what?s the deal" Is tax evasion the newest fad or something" Am I supposed to be selling information to rival businesses" Should I dress provocatively to attract more attention (no offense, Fi)" Or is there some mountain of money somewhere that only I don't know about"
Whether there is or not, it's at least good to know that while some RhyDinians are being self-absorbed spendthrifts, there are still those who are willing to throw thousands of dollars at a good cause. While we at the Post haven't had the privilege of getting much information about this Second Chances charitable program, we do know that if it has Lirissa's name behind it, it is most definitely solid. Apparently she decided to team up with bad girl Kendall Ergin to put this thing together. There's a name I never expected to see in connection with philanthropy. Then again, I have the feeling that we at the Post have only just scratched the surface of who exactly is Kendall Ergin.
Given how perfectly put-together the event was, you would never have guessed that this mash-up of business and pleasure was rescheduled only a week ago. But however difficult dealing with the change may have been, Fiora seemed to make up for lost time by dishing out snazzy prizes and doling out hugs and kisses to nearly every attendee. It strikes me, though, that for such an exceptional businesswoman Fi gets flustered just a little too easily. I don't know if it was the excitement of the evening or the stress of keeping everything from falling apart with her own two hands, but the twitchy bunnyrabbit that is Fiora Shantalaine most definitely behaved as though she started the evening off by inhaling about twelve espressos. We're all immensely impressed that the evening was such a resounding success, but it certainly was a shame to see her nearly tearing her hair out (when she wasn't shrieking about something or another, that is). Memo to self for next time: delegate!
I have a question for all you. What in the name of blazes and fiery things was Rekah doing ALONE all night"! This boundless bubble of fun and bounce reportedly spent her entire evening by the snack table with no date and no chaperone. Um, hello' In what ridiculous universe do we live when someone like Rekah has to leave a party early' Buy that girl some cookies and apologize!
I really don't know if drunken sorority girls can make alcoholism seem any classier than Quinn and Mack can. And by that, I mean they can't. I had high hopes for them when they showed up at the gala looking positively gorgeous, but even putting some beautiful dresses and jewels on those two and parading them around a charitable event can't diminish the "Girls Gone Wild" vibe they seem to give off in waves. Not that it's any surprise, but the testosterone-bearing component of their troublemaking trifecta (read: Gabe) was nowhere to be seen. I suppose it was an infinitesimally good thing, as his absence kept the conversation among them from becoming very inappropriate very quickly' for a small amount of time. As it turns out they decided to soothe their raging hormones by channeling their vulgarity onto some interesting fellow named Luke. I will say this much: I have to tip my hat at a man who keeps from giggling like a schoolboy when lubricants enter the conversation. Maybe there is some salvation in the future for those two, but I personally won't be holding my breath.
Fortunately there were plenty of others present that seemed to make up for the class being siphoned out of the atmosphere by the twisted sisters. One couple in particular seemed strangely out of place anywhere but in some kind of royal court and caught more than one intern's eye. While I am sad to say we missed the young lady's name, I hear the tall drink of water escorting her around the dance floor is named Julian. Though those two kept to themselves and didn't mince words, they do strike me as the kind of people who are tremendously conscious of the conversation they talk around. And those are, after all, the most interesting kinds of people.
One RhyDinian that I was perfectly thrilled to hear was present happened to be none other than Samilee Burke! It seems like we don't often see her doing anything but being lost in her own thoughts these days, and it was really a treat to see her" uh' getting trashed on champagne. Baby steps, right' At least the stunning Sami got the chance to chum it up with old pals Alain, Kate, and Cor, who when they weren't talking shop about the latest hockey news (and that reminds me! Someone find out if they're still taking applications, as we've had a few write in asking about it!) were spending obscene amounts of money on one-night sta— I mean, dates. One night dates. Now this is just a rumor, but apparently when questioned about his squeeze Delphi Cor was exceedingly vague and platonic, while at the same time expressing a keen interest in Fiora's assistant, JhaiNein. Iiiiinteresting. Though Cor doesn't necessarily strike me as the playboy type, you can never really understand people in this town. For all I know that constant eggy smell might have finally gone to his head and made him just snap and prompt a mid-life crisis. If that's the case, start looking for him by checking all the nearest convertible dealerships.
Speaking of JhaiNein, though. I don't know what it is with Fiora's little tight-knit bunch of groupies, but she certainly does seem to have some kind of members-only club going on, doesn't she" The happy little Plaza/Zen (Zen Plaza, maybe? I sense a possible apartment complex in the making!) bunch definitely appears to have their share of inside jokes - what some at our Gossip Column attribute to likely secret club meetings during work hours. But that there is a meeting I'd love to be a fly on the wall for, as I have got to know what the deal is between Euriya, Fi, and that lovely pair of legs, Dusky. Color me crazy, but I sense some history or inner turmoil there and I will not rest until I discover what it is!
Congratulations, Van. You are no longer the most overbearing psycho stalker boyfriend-slash-significant-other in RhyDin. You have been replaced by your older, more attractive counterpart Ryan Wilson. I don't know what Mindy sees in him, but from what my interns tell me that man was at her side like glue for the entire night. And that's perfectly fine for people desperately in love, but is it just me or did Mindy seem a tad distracted" Maybe even just a wee bit bored or tired" Maybe because said man was all up in her business stealing all her oxygen instead of doing the responsible thing and giving her some time alone by being at home with the kids. But that's just a third person's opinion.
Word has it Mancake (that's Antonio to all of you) was heard being a little full of himself in terms of finances. See now, that disappoints me. I get that Quintuple A is a family that is well off, but I would have thought Mancake was a little more humble and better than bluntly broadcasting his affluence. On the bright side we hear that new mommy EmDoc is on her way to saving lives again, though she seemed not particularly thrilled about the idea. Good lord, woman. There are very few people who have the gifts that you do for taking care of people! And I'd like to think that removing someone's brain tumor is infinitely more rewarding than making and eating muffins all day.
You'd imagine that for all the fuss Samiel makes over being in public, he and Mesteno would stop making appearances at big enormous events like this. But fortunately for us, that is not the case! Sources tell me our favorite handsome-slash-cranky pair got a chance to catch up with old standby of RhyDin, Rick. From what we've heard, anyone who's anyone goes way back with Rick, as evidenced by the way Gem (who is never far away from wherever Sam and Mesteno are) seemed all a-twitter with glee at seeing him. And who can blame her, really' Rick reminds me a little of Dris, if only for the way his charm is spectacularly contagious - so much so that he tends to draw positive interaction like a magnet. Rumor has it Gem was also overheard talking with Mesteno about his being auctioned off at some other event for something. Oh em gee! When did this happen, and how can we please make it happen again?"
That wasn't the only Oh Em Gee moment of the night, though. Dear me, what has happened to our Eless"! Somewhere in the process of dating that guy Michael, RhyDin's Sexiest Woman stepped up the wickedness in her life. And you know what? That's fine by us. Sources inform me that she arrived at the event looking dangerously sexy in some kind of gothic-inspired getup and promptly began playing social butterfly with Michael safely in tow. Now there is a bloke who knows how to behave in the presence of his gal. He hung back enough to let her do her thing, but spoke up enough to make sure he was not forgotten. Where in the Nexus did this guy come from, and can we recruit more bachelors from there"
And speaking of excellent men, no fewer than all the women at our Gossip Column were relieved to hear that he-Chase was spotted (as was she-Chase, I'm told) at the event and being the perfect gentleman aaaaaallll night. And by aaaaaallll night I am referring of course to the hour or two he was actually on the premises, because not long after RhyDin's Sexiest Man was auctioned off for a strangely small sum (compared to some others, really) he left in the company of someone obviously of particular interest to him. While my sources couldn't catch the name of the stunning woman he escorted out, I am told the two of them seemed positively smitten with each other. Well....it was either that, or they were absolutely infuriated with each other, but that's a fine, fine line to begin with, isn't it'
But on to she-Chase" this is probably going to be the only time I agree with I-am-legally-obligated-to-withhold-his-name, but SERIOUSLY, woman! If you want to get in a man's pants that badly, just slip something in his drink and haul him back to your place! I am told the simpering femme that is she-Chase netted herself local star Jonathan Granger for over twenty-two thousand dollars. And call me bitter, but she-Chase just doesn't strike me as the kind of woman who is glad to give so much out of charity! She reaaaaally wants time alone with this guy, and his squeeze Correy didn't seem too thrilled about it! But whether they were or not, the Granger bid certainly set the standard for obnoxiously high-priced dates for the rest of the night, with Luke going for over thirty thousand, Rand for over twenty-five, and Fiora for - hardy har har, Rand - sixty-nine thousand dollars.
You all deserve one hearty pat on the back for being so overwhelmingly generous! When you see Fi, do give her props for putting on an excellent show. And look at it this way: at least after last night you all can feel good about giving back to the community while you're making out with a complete stranger.
Until next time? You stay sassy, RhyDin!