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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
Carnival 2010, Highlights in Review! May 27, 2010
It seems any night in RhyDin has a legitimate excuse to party!
Hardly a month has passed since the Glen was rife with pagan fertility rituals, passionate dancing, hard drinking, and overall widespread scandal, and already we find ourselves waking up with one heck of a gypsy wine hangover and" what?s this" Shrapnel in our clothes"
In all honesty, I'm going to have to start covering my interns" health insurance personally if I have to keep sending them to events like this!
Then again, you don't hear me complaining. Carnival night was full of all sorts of shameful behavior, and I honestly couldn't be more thrilled!
The whole thing is reported to have been thrown together by a one Klara Kingston of Kingston's Kuriosity Shoppe somewhere in the Marketplace. Now, I don't know what rock we at the Gossip Column have been living under, but how has this babe not made it onto our radar" She is smokin" hot, charming, and apparently capable of throwing a shindig so enormously wild, the vibrations and carnival music could be heard all the way into New Haven. In roughly three weeks, this chick somehow leased a slew of carnival rides and booths, enlisted the help of some of RhyDin's most popular individuals, and stocked the entire Glen with wares, drinks, food, and fun. And all this without charging an admission price! This broad must be luh-hooooaded, or RhyDin is way more generous than I've come to believe. If the former, I'm available! If the latter, I'm going to have to reexamine my whole perception on the world now!
From what my sources say, Klara spent the majority of the night fraternizing with her partner-in-crime, Shawna Willows" a woman whose name I have spent the last hour rearranging into Haw(t) Sin Swallow. It's close enough! She's got the sweetness of a songbird, sure, but those wicked red eyes and that coy, come-hither smirk just oooooze smexiness and mischief. She was awfully quiet and polite, but my gut tells me there is more to this one than meets the eye!
As if his triumphant win in the latest election wasn't enough, it appears Governor Driscol is pretty influential in his own cabinet as well! Who knows what it took, but our sources spotted not one, not two, but three of his Ministers traipsing around the carnival. Apparently the Ministers of Agriculture and Trade were spotted getting a kiss from their boss (who happened to be running the kissing booth). Alls I can say is, from what I've heard, Captain Kissyface Silver seemed a liiiiiiittle too excited to lock lips with the Governor. Rumor has it she even tried to jump her place in line! Juicy, juicy! If our damn sexy Driscol winds up committing some horrible act of infidelity in office with her, I will so be the first to vote him in for a second term!
On the other hand, it turns out that Minister of Agriculture Merriam has immediately earned a special place in our hearts for her sharp wit. That woman may be sweet-faced, but she certainly has barbs like a porcupine! Absolutely keep an eye on that one, folks! She strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't take any guff from anyone. And believe you me, confidence is HOT!
Normally, I would have to take some pill for the amount of nausea pet names give me. And normally, after seeing Jaycy with some random twitchy fellow who appears far too invested in the relationship, I would be waving big "ol warning signs and taking bets as to when this farce of a pairing would end. That was until I got a glimpse of this Vorn guy winging ten bajillion sharp, flaming things into the air all for the sake of entertainment. The things some guys will do to get a gal's attention, right' For now, I'm giving this relationship a yellow light: Proceed with caution. They're moving awfully fast, and seem a little incompatible at times, but Jaycy certainly seems to like this guy. No thumbs up yet, Jaycy babe - this pair requires further scrutiny!
When Vorn wasn't attempting to break a world record for actually-kind-of-sort-of-just-barely-attractive recklessness, he and Jaycy were canoodling all in their own little bubble. That was, until Kelathe came along and brought that smushiness to an abrupt end. Sources tell me that not too long ago Kelathe and Neo made the break. No word yet on what the reasons were, but it might have something to do with the googly eyes she has been making at Jaycy since day one! I guess monogamy is just impossible for some people, huh'
And speaking of monogamy being impossible for some people, I don't even know where to begin with the Ergin-Falconne-Valkonan-You-Have-Too-Many-Names household! FIRST of all, let me just get this off my chest"
EMDOC. I am hurt! Utterly hurt and positively crushed! How could you let me find out this way"! Why didn't you give me special notice"! How am I one of the last people in this town to know"! After all we've been through, this is the thanks I get"!
Thaaaaat's right, RhyDin. It's confirmed! Your two-timing mef of an EmDoc is soon to be Mommy M.D.! I wonder which of her infamously luh-hoooaded husbands is fathering this one" Oh, oh! You think it'll be some genetic super-tot' Like maybe it'll have Ergin's eyes and Falcon's face" Then again, as is usual with EmDoc and her testosterone-accumulation habit, she's been spending an aaaaawful lot of time with that Porthos and that Roderick. If she winds up having a Scottish or a French baby, I'll just die! Whatever the case is, EmDoc certainly seems aglow with excitement for this. Pictures, woman! Pictures!
Speaking of her luh-hoooaded husbands, though, word has it Falcon disappeared behind the kissing curtain with Governor Driscol for twenty minutes! O.M.G. I don't know how, but both of those chivalrous fellows just jumped to the top of my Amaze-O-Meter. How do I even react to this kind of gossip"! Should I be outraged" Should I faint' Salivate" All of the above" I"M SO CONFUSED!
That's not the only thing that's confusing us here at the Gossip Column, though! Word has it our mini-mef Montgomery was all snuggled up the majority of the night with Vex. Really' I-am-attracted-to-blood-and-just-might-eat-your-ch ildren Vex? Maybe he's into the danger sort of thing, or maybe Vex has some special attributes that we're not quite familiar with just yet. I'm willing to give her a shot if mini-mef is! He's definitely growing on us!
Well, RhyDin. I'm allowed to be wrong sometimes. When the whole Crekah (that's Cassius and Rekah to you) relationship wandered out of somewhere dark and ghastly, I had my doubts. Those two strike me as complete polar opposites with absolutely nothing in common. But you know what? Rumor has it they are actually very cute together. Sources tell me the two even engaged in a little lighthearted, mud-slinging frivolity (when there was still frivolity to be had). So! While I'm certainly not holding my breath on this one, I think I'll hesitantly put up another yellow light for this pair and watch closely. They just might surprise us!
On the other side of the carnival, Harris had his own weight- and age-guessing booth (if you can call it that). Sources claim it wasn't exactly a resounding success, but it sure as heck was entertaining. We've a better idea. Next charity who-whatsit, Harris should run an insult booth. If you're good at something, never do it for free, right'
For who knows why, some bubbly little bundle of fun named Gwen spent the better part of the night fawning over Harris and waiting on him hand and foot. While I do not approve of his taking advantage of this picture of innocence, sources tell me it was really quite charming to see the half-pint cupie-doll torpedoing around the grounds on special errands. Actually, we hear that Harris even got off his throne a minute to buy precious Gwen some cotton candy. CUUUUTE! Maybe this guy does have a heart. Then again, maybe not.
As if his reputation wasn't bad enough, Jochin is certainly building himself up to be one heck of a womanizer. Sources in the past have spotted him with Aolani and Aoife, but it was the sweet and ladylike Annie that he spent most of his night with. Sources claim the two of them and a charming gentleman named Fen all indulged in some ice cream together and had some casual conversation. Dessert wasn't the only icy thing they shared, though, because Annie certainly seemed to give Jochin a chilly reception. This was only reinforced by the fact that after gentleman Fen left their company, the lovely Annie bristled up like a ticked-off lioness at Jochin. While there's probably quite an interesting story behind him, all fingers are unfortunately pointing in Jochin's direction for fault on that one. His loss, though! Annie is certainly a catch, and sources tell me that she and her guy (we think we heard his name is John!) make a wonderful couple. We'll just have to see how things pan out among the three of them!
Carnival 2010, Highlights in Review! May 27, 2010
It seems any night in RhyDin has a legitimate excuse to party!
Hardly a month has passed since the Glen was rife with pagan fertility rituals, passionate dancing, hard drinking, and overall widespread scandal, and already we find ourselves waking up with one heck of a gypsy wine hangover and" what?s this" Shrapnel in our clothes"
In all honesty, I'm going to have to start covering my interns" health insurance personally if I have to keep sending them to events like this!
Then again, you don't hear me complaining. Carnival night was full of all sorts of shameful behavior, and I honestly couldn't be more thrilled!
The whole thing is reported to have been thrown together by a one Klara Kingston of Kingston's Kuriosity Shoppe somewhere in the Marketplace. Now, I don't know what rock we at the Gossip Column have been living under, but how has this babe not made it onto our radar" She is smokin" hot, charming, and apparently capable of throwing a shindig so enormously wild, the vibrations and carnival music could be heard all the way into New Haven. In roughly three weeks, this chick somehow leased a slew of carnival rides and booths, enlisted the help of some of RhyDin's most popular individuals, and stocked the entire Glen with wares, drinks, food, and fun. And all this without charging an admission price! This broad must be luh-hooooaded, or RhyDin is way more generous than I've come to believe. If the former, I'm available! If the latter, I'm going to have to reexamine my whole perception on the world now!
From what my sources say, Klara spent the majority of the night fraternizing with her partner-in-crime, Shawna Willows" a woman whose name I have spent the last hour rearranging into Haw(t) Sin Swallow. It's close enough! She's got the sweetness of a songbird, sure, but those wicked red eyes and that coy, come-hither smirk just oooooze smexiness and mischief. She was awfully quiet and polite, but my gut tells me there is more to this one than meets the eye!
As if his triumphant win in the latest election wasn't enough, it appears Governor Driscol is pretty influential in his own cabinet as well! Who knows what it took, but our sources spotted not one, not two, but three of his Ministers traipsing around the carnival. Apparently the Ministers of Agriculture and Trade were spotted getting a kiss from their boss (who happened to be running the kissing booth). Alls I can say is, from what I've heard, Captain Kissyface Silver seemed a liiiiiiittle too excited to lock lips with the Governor. Rumor has it she even tried to jump her place in line! Juicy, juicy! If our damn sexy Driscol winds up committing some horrible act of infidelity in office with her, I will so be the first to vote him in for a second term!
On the other hand, it turns out that Minister of Agriculture Merriam has immediately earned a special place in our hearts for her sharp wit. That woman may be sweet-faced, but she certainly has barbs like a porcupine! Absolutely keep an eye on that one, folks! She strikes me as the kind of person who doesn't take any guff from anyone. And believe you me, confidence is HOT!
Normally, I would have to take some pill for the amount of nausea pet names give me. And normally, after seeing Jaycy with some random twitchy fellow who appears far too invested in the relationship, I would be waving big "ol warning signs and taking bets as to when this farce of a pairing would end. That was until I got a glimpse of this Vorn guy winging ten bajillion sharp, flaming things into the air all for the sake of entertainment. The things some guys will do to get a gal's attention, right' For now, I'm giving this relationship a yellow light: Proceed with caution. They're moving awfully fast, and seem a little incompatible at times, but Jaycy certainly seems to like this guy. No thumbs up yet, Jaycy babe - this pair requires further scrutiny!
When Vorn wasn't attempting to break a world record for actually-kind-of-sort-of-just-barely-attractive recklessness, he and Jaycy were canoodling all in their own little bubble. That was, until Kelathe came along and brought that smushiness to an abrupt end. Sources tell me that not too long ago Kelathe and Neo made the break. No word yet on what the reasons were, but it might have something to do with the googly eyes she has been making at Jaycy since day one! I guess monogamy is just impossible for some people, huh'
And speaking of monogamy being impossible for some people, I don't even know where to begin with the Ergin-Falconne-Valkonan-You-Have-Too-Many-Names household! FIRST of all, let me just get this off my chest"
EMDOC. I am hurt! Utterly hurt and positively crushed! How could you let me find out this way"! Why didn't you give me special notice"! How am I one of the last people in this town to know"! After all we've been through, this is the thanks I get"!
Thaaaaat's right, RhyDin. It's confirmed! Your two-timing mef of an EmDoc is soon to be Mommy M.D.! I wonder which of her infamously luh-hoooaded husbands is fathering this one" Oh, oh! You think it'll be some genetic super-tot' Like maybe it'll have Ergin's eyes and Falcon's face" Then again, as is usual with EmDoc and her testosterone-accumulation habit, she's been spending an aaaaawful lot of time with that Porthos and that Roderick. If she winds up having a Scottish or a French baby, I'll just die! Whatever the case is, EmDoc certainly seems aglow with excitement for this. Pictures, woman! Pictures!
Speaking of her luh-hoooaded husbands, though, word has it Falcon disappeared behind the kissing curtain with Governor Driscol for twenty minutes! O.M.G. I don't know how, but both of those chivalrous fellows just jumped to the top of my Amaze-O-Meter. How do I even react to this kind of gossip"! Should I be outraged" Should I faint' Salivate" All of the above" I"M SO CONFUSED!
That's not the only thing that's confusing us here at the Gossip Column, though! Word has it our mini-mef Montgomery was all snuggled up the majority of the night with Vex. Really' I-am-attracted-to-blood-and-just-might-eat-your-ch ildren Vex? Maybe he's into the danger sort of thing, or maybe Vex has some special attributes that we're not quite familiar with just yet. I'm willing to give her a shot if mini-mef is! He's definitely growing on us!
Well, RhyDin. I'm allowed to be wrong sometimes. When the whole Crekah (that's Cassius and Rekah to you) relationship wandered out of somewhere dark and ghastly, I had my doubts. Those two strike me as complete polar opposites with absolutely nothing in common. But you know what? Rumor has it they are actually very cute together. Sources tell me the two even engaged in a little lighthearted, mud-slinging frivolity (when there was still frivolity to be had). So! While I'm certainly not holding my breath on this one, I think I'll hesitantly put up another yellow light for this pair and watch closely. They just might surprise us!
On the other side of the carnival, Harris had his own weight- and age-guessing booth (if you can call it that). Sources claim it wasn't exactly a resounding success, but it sure as heck was entertaining. We've a better idea. Next charity who-whatsit, Harris should run an insult booth. If you're good at something, never do it for free, right'
For who knows why, some bubbly little bundle of fun named Gwen spent the better part of the night fawning over Harris and waiting on him hand and foot. While I do not approve of his taking advantage of this picture of innocence, sources tell me it was really quite charming to see the half-pint cupie-doll torpedoing around the grounds on special errands. Actually, we hear that Harris even got off his throne a minute to buy precious Gwen some cotton candy. CUUUUTE! Maybe this guy does have a heart. Then again, maybe not.
As if his reputation wasn't bad enough, Jochin is certainly building himself up to be one heck of a womanizer. Sources in the past have spotted him with Aolani and Aoife, but it was the sweet and ladylike Annie that he spent most of his night with. Sources claim the two of them and a charming gentleman named Fen all indulged in some ice cream together and had some casual conversation. Dessert wasn't the only icy thing they shared, though, because Annie certainly seemed to give Jochin a chilly reception. This was only reinforced by the fact that after gentleman Fen left their company, the lovely Annie bristled up like a ticked-off lioness at Jochin. While there's probably quite an interesting story behind him, all fingers are unfortunately pointing in Jochin's direction for fault on that one. His loss, though! Annie is certainly a catch, and sources tell me that she and her guy (we think we heard his name is John!) make a wonderful couple. We'll just have to see how things pan out among the three of them!