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Chasing The Times
Stay one foot behind all the rest with Chase Dawson!
This week's brief - what makes Rhy'Din tick" Excuse me" With all the incendiary devices in this city, you want me to investigate what makes it tick" Note to self; get a new job. Although ....new job means no Bane on a daily basis. Dilemma, dilemma. It took me all of ten minutes to decide to stay. Risk of mutilation or death versus a daily chance to goose It-Man Emmet Bane in the elevator" Please. Maybe missing a limb is a good way to get his attention, you never know.
Anyway, where to begin" Well, let's look at the definition of the word, shall we" According to the Rhy'Din dictionary*, "tick" has three definitions - 1. To give someone 'tick' or 'ticka' is to give someone drugs on credit. Q: "Can I get this deal on 'tick' until Monday?" A: "Ahhh....helllzzz no!"; 2. Very fit and sexy, attractive, good looking. "That boy is tick; just look at that body, so tick."; 3. A pest. A problematic insect. So this gives us somewhere to start from, and I am very pleased to note there is no reference to explosives or other bloody endings in my reference.
1. What makes Rhy'Din give drugs on credit' Well, there's no denying that in Rhy'Din you can get just about anything from just about anyone, and most of those doing the supplying are pretty discreet about the whole thing. There's also no denying that, despite the number of people who show up with nothing but the clothes they stand up in, there's an awful lot of capital flying around these days. Risking my sanity - not to mention my shoes - I took to the street to find someone who might be able to explain it to me (and not that Granger woman Bane's so fixated on - seriously, what is the big deal").
It took me three hours, one broken heel, and one very awkward encounter in the toilets of a notable nightclub - Rhy'Din, how many times do I have to tell you? Human, straight, this is me - I finally tracked down someone who was willing to explain what it is that makes Rhy'Din give drugs on credit. "S'like this, y'see ....ev'ryone's got the dosh sometime, an' doing a kid a favor when he's got no dosh yet, s'like that forehead entrenchin', innit?" I believe my source meant forward investing, but never mind. It seems that since anyone who arrives here is guaranteed to make their fortune within a few months, there's no risk in giving out a little chemical high on credit. After all, there are some truly unpleasant ways to recoup on the investment further down the line.
2. What makes Rhy'Din so very fit and sexy, attractive, good-looking" It seems as though wherever you look, there's beauty in one form or another walking down the street. Everyone oozes gorgeousness, be it in their looks, their style, their attitude, or even the fortunate few who have all three. If one single ordinary person from an ordinary Earth, say, got dumped into Rhy'Din, they'd be comatose from all the sexiness within minutes. Even the architecture, with its charming mix between historical, modern, and post-modern, has a beauty about it that simply cannot be recreated anywhere else in the cosmos.
But there's no real way to say what it actually is that makes Rhy'Din such an attractive place, so I went and did a little canvassing around the office. What' It's a column, it's supposed to be about opinions.
The Post's pool of interns came back with the following theories - 1. That the Nexus is picky, and will only allow people and buildings of a certain standard to survive on Rhy'Din at all; 2. That passing through the Nexus and/or the portals to various other worlds and times adjusts your genetic code until you come out the other end as stunning as you were butt-ugly when you stepped in; 3. That there's a crack team operating secretly out of the Governor's Office with a mission to hunt down and exterminate anyone who doesn't pass the beauty test; and 4. That I need to get a life.
Offended though I am, I'm slightly inclined to agree with number four, personally - at least, sometimes. You know, at the end of a long day, you've broken one heel of your favorite shoes, you've been propositioned by something green and gooey in a toilet, you don't qualify for tick, and you've somehow missed your Bane ogle for the day ....those are the days when I really feel like I should get a life. But I digress.
3. What makes Rhy'Din a pest' Well, let's face it, people - our lovely mish-mash of a world is a parasite. It sucks the best and worst from every other world out there and hoards it in a city that is a fantastically easy place to live in. But it keeps those other worlds going, too, by occasionally allowing the best and brightest to go back and make an impact before being suckered back here once more. More than that, Rhy'Din is a pest. It's probably what God (or whatever) found on the bottom of his shoe when he finished with the whole creation buzz.
It's the logical conclusion to what happens when you get so many different high heels and low lifes in one city; instead of spreading out, they turn inward, they create the new worst way to interact with each other. Seriously, have you seen the state of the Marketplace these days" All that rubble's gotta be annoying someone, right?
So, in answer to my brief, as stated above ....What makes Rhy'Din an attractive pest that can get drugs on credit' Short answer; US! For the long answer, I suggest you attempt to read Professor Astrov's Treatise on the Creation of Joy-Sapping Parasite Worlds, available at the library. Anyone who manages to finish it, and has the proof, gets a glass of champagne, and Seven Minutes in Heaven with the Post staff member of their choice!
Until next time, Rhy'Din, keep chasing the times!
*Source for the Rhy'Din Dictionary is, in fact, the Urban Dictionary.
This week's brief - what makes Rhy'Din tick" Excuse me" With all the incendiary devices in this city, you want me to investigate what makes it tick" Note to self; get a new job. Although ....new job means no Bane on a daily basis. Dilemma, dilemma. It took me all of ten minutes to decide to stay. Risk of mutilation or death versus a daily chance to goose It-Man Emmet Bane in the elevator" Please. Maybe missing a limb is a good way to get his attention, you never know.
Anyway, where to begin" Well, let's look at the definition of the word, shall we" According to the Rhy'Din dictionary*, "tick" has three definitions - 1. To give someone 'tick' or 'ticka' is to give someone drugs on credit. Q: "Can I get this deal on 'tick' until Monday?" A: "Ahhh....helllzzz no!"; 2. Very fit and sexy, attractive, good looking. "That boy is tick; just look at that body, so tick."; 3. A pest. A problematic insect. So this gives us somewhere to start from, and I am very pleased to note there is no reference to explosives or other bloody endings in my reference.
1. What makes Rhy'Din give drugs on credit' Well, there's no denying that in Rhy'Din you can get just about anything from just about anyone, and most of those doing the supplying are pretty discreet about the whole thing. There's also no denying that, despite the number of people who show up with nothing but the clothes they stand up in, there's an awful lot of capital flying around these days. Risking my sanity - not to mention my shoes - I took to the street to find someone who might be able to explain it to me (and not that Granger woman Bane's so fixated on - seriously, what is the big deal").
It took me three hours, one broken heel, and one very awkward encounter in the toilets of a notable nightclub - Rhy'Din, how many times do I have to tell you? Human, straight, this is me - I finally tracked down someone who was willing to explain what it is that makes Rhy'Din give drugs on credit. "S'like this, y'see ....ev'ryone's got the dosh sometime, an' doing a kid a favor when he's got no dosh yet, s'like that forehead entrenchin', innit?" I believe my source meant forward investing, but never mind. It seems that since anyone who arrives here is guaranteed to make their fortune within a few months, there's no risk in giving out a little chemical high on credit. After all, there are some truly unpleasant ways to recoup on the investment further down the line.
2. What makes Rhy'Din so very fit and sexy, attractive, good-looking" It seems as though wherever you look, there's beauty in one form or another walking down the street. Everyone oozes gorgeousness, be it in their looks, their style, their attitude, or even the fortunate few who have all three. If one single ordinary person from an ordinary Earth, say, got dumped into Rhy'Din, they'd be comatose from all the sexiness within minutes. Even the architecture, with its charming mix between historical, modern, and post-modern, has a beauty about it that simply cannot be recreated anywhere else in the cosmos.
But there's no real way to say what it actually is that makes Rhy'Din such an attractive place, so I went and did a little canvassing around the office. What' It's a column, it's supposed to be about opinions.
The Post's pool of interns came back with the following theories - 1. That the Nexus is picky, and will only allow people and buildings of a certain standard to survive on Rhy'Din at all; 2. That passing through the Nexus and/or the portals to various other worlds and times adjusts your genetic code until you come out the other end as stunning as you were butt-ugly when you stepped in; 3. That there's a crack team operating secretly out of the Governor's Office with a mission to hunt down and exterminate anyone who doesn't pass the beauty test; and 4. That I need to get a life.
Offended though I am, I'm slightly inclined to agree with number four, personally - at least, sometimes. You know, at the end of a long day, you've broken one heel of your favorite shoes, you've been propositioned by something green and gooey in a toilet, you don't qualify for tick, and you've somehow missed your Bane ogle for the day ....those are the days when I really feel like I should get a life. But I digress.
3. What makes Rhy'Din a pest' Well, let's face it, people - our lovely mish-mash of a world is a parasite. It sucks the best and worst from every other world out there and hoards it in a city that is a fantastically easy place to live in. But it keeps those other worlds going, too, by occasionally allowing the best and brightest to go back and make an impact before being suckered back here once more. More than that, Rhy'Din is a pest. It's probably what God (or whatever) found on the bottom of his shoe when he finished with the whole creation buzz.
It's the logical conclusion to what happens when you get so many different high heels and low lifes in one city; instead of spreading out, they turn inward, they create the new worst way to interact with each other. Seriously, have you seen the state of the Marketplace these days" All that rubble's gotta be annoying someone, right?
So, in answer to my brief, as stated above ....What makes Rhy'Din an attractive pest that can get drugs on credit' Short answer; US! For the long answer, I suggest you attempt to read Professor Astrov's Treatise on the Creation of Joy-Sapping Parasite Worlds, available at the library. Anyone who manages to finish it, and has the proof, gets a glass of champagne, and Seven Minutes in Heaven with the Post staff member of their choice!
Until next time, Rhy'Din, keep chasing the times!
*Source for the Rhy'Din Dictionary is, in fact, the Urban Dictionary.