Topic: Color Your City: The Night in Review!

Darien Fenner

Date: 2011-10-09 21:38 EST
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/521311356_3ef416f175-1.jpg Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane

Color Your City: The Night in Review! October 9, 2011

COLOR YOUR CITY!

I must admit that part of me will miss the anticipation and the party plugging. On the other hand, though, I think I've had more than my fair share of cleaning paint out of bodily crevices to last a lifetime.

EARS, people. I was talking about my ears. Get your minds out of the gutter.

For those of you who did not attend our fantabulous rave and paint party, SHAME ON YOU! You missed a chaotically entertaining evening of cursing, body slamming, and Ed Batten going all sniper-like on poor, unwitting sods who thought that paint-filled squirt guns would be enough to net their team the Paint War win. Hello' This is RhyDin. I'm surprised people did not show up with grenade launchers filled with paint bombs.

Long story short, there was much painting involved. And though our illustrious Green Team was the official winner, earning themselves some Spacers season tickets and an evening with the Governor herself, you were all winners last night.

Or that's the company line, anyway. This judge says that Kazzy and I won. So ha. I shall reward myself with a congratulatory pat on the back. And perhaps an extra five minutes of gawking at pictures of the paint-covered, nearly naked ladies from the red team. Wowza.

But all generalities aside. Let's get to the gossip!

You know" for someone as flipping competitive as Pslyder (I am surprised he did not tackle opposing teams during the paint war), you would think he would be peeved about wifey Jaycy locking lips with another lady. But then again, this feisty pair is definitely freaky. And since I am sick of alliteration at this point, I'll just up and say: You better believe my sources didn't miss Jaycy and Psly sneaking out mid-party, only to sneak back in later with suspicious smiles on their faces. That can mean one of two things: Either they went out on a killing spree, or Psly put a little color in Jaycy's cheeks in private, ifyaknowwhatImean. I applaud you, sir. That particular situation is definitely on my bucket list. Coming straight from the source, the wedded couple seems to be doing excellently so far. And why shouldn't they be, when they are so readily willing to get their freak on' It certainly begs the question, though: How much freakier can it get"

O.K. This is why I like Koy. Firsthand experience reveals that Psly ain't got nothin" on her competitive side. Mid-match during the paint war, I witnessed a full-on tackle of her man Matt, who against all odds seemed to be having a blast. Given that we only ever tend to see Matt in serious news or spitting and snarling at Wyheree in a ring, it was certainly a treat to experience some malicious cheer emanating from the fellow. I don't know if he was drunk or just in good humor, but either way I should hope to enlist his services when it comes time for our company winter snowball war. Interested"

Tara, Tara, Tara, my love. What was going on there with Davian' As one who either gets incredibly into parties or unleashes hellspawn on them, I was startled to see how subdued my favorite co"kroach killa was. Unfortunately the music was a bit too loud for my sources to get even one word out of their interaction, but from what they could see she seemed quite perturbed, and he quite vexed. And while I realize that Tara's unique habits and" spirited personality have been known to vex maaaaaaybe a person or two in the past (nobody's perfect), this situation seemed remarkably macabre for the both of them. Post Spies: Assemble! I want everything you've got on Davian, starting with his last name.

Egads! I may have to rethink my position on LovePuppet Lucien and Kate. For a while now I haven't been able to really get that pair. Their personalities have always just struck me as incredibly different. Kate is so' Kate, and Lucien is" well, Lucien. But after witnessing their dynamic Saturday night, I can safely say now that Kate brings out the wild side in the "ol barrister. By his lonesome Lucien is definitely a quiet, respectable fellow, but putting him in the same room with Kate is like putting Tara, uh, anywhere. Explosions and/or chemistry will happen. It makes me worry for him, though. Lucien is one of the few genuinely respectable dudes left in RhyDin, and I am wary that too much exposure to Kate will change that. Listen, babe. We have no problem with you taking him out for a joyride, but when you finally return him we expect him to be in perfect condition and with a full tank.

Darien Fenner

Date: 2011-10-09 21:43 EST
While I generally make a point not to write about my coworkers (they get enough spotlight already without me having to share mine with them), I simply must point fingers and make shameful noises at Chase. Not for being scandalous, mind you " believe me, that much I have come to expect out of our Chase " but for keeping this guy Ivan under wraps. So since she obviously has made a deliberate effort not to broadcast her private life, I'll go ahead and do it for her. IIIIIIIVAN AND CHASE ARE DOING IT! There, I said it. I don't feel any better after saying it, though, as Ivan seems like a generally straightforward guy. Hello' You work for The RhyDin Post. Mundanity will not be tolerated. So, so disappointed, you two.

Let me sidebar a moment, here. Vinny, my man, if you want to lose the creepy womanizer reputation, then you have got to stop getting stabbed by crazy exes and showing up at parties alone, wearing spandex, and talking about imaginary girlfriends. And about the spandex" You may be able to crush someone to death with only your thoughts, but you are still nowhere as cool as Wolverine. Just saying.

As it turns out, Matt will not be the only one I recruit for our company winter snowball war. As flashy as she is in the rings, Overlady Ellisa is pretty handy with a paint gun or two. I am told that earlier in the evening, though, she was seen conversing with Colleen about the ramifications of spawning. It seems Ellisa is none too keen on having little stabbing minions running around any time soon, and implied that her attempts at mothering would most likely fail sensationally. Nature versus nurture, babe. If you keep them away from violence and perversion, they won't turn into the Murs and Guaires of our day. Oh, who am I kidding" There is no such thing as PG in RhyDin. No one here should procreate. Ever.

Sidebar the second: Since when did we start calling Tass 'sir?" That is what Julianna was overheard calling him when she and Rhiannon were chatting the old man up. I have heard him be called "Tass," "Tasslehofl," "Hey-Get-Your-Hands-Off," and "Dear-God-Put-Some-Clothes-On," but never in my entire RhyDin life have I ever heard kissing thief Tass called 'sir." I do not approve. Tass is too familiar a bloke to ever require being formal with. After all, I've met him in person only twice, and I can safely say that after just two interactions that amounted to about three minutes total, I am way more familiar with the guy than I ever expected to be.

Petyr has only one more chance to regain my due regard. A while ago my trusted sources informed me that there was a possibility he and Leo Two (who has been dubbed thus so as not to confuse him with the infinitely more roguish Leo Heeeeeeracleides) were getting a little bit rocky. When confronted about this possibility, despite that he seemed aaaawfully defensive, the matter was dropped in favor of more interesting things. But not two seconds later DyarhkslashRoderickwhatwereyouthinking Rachael reared her twitchy face claiming that she frightened yours truly off. Jeez, does this broad think highly of herself or what? My sources also inform me that those two spent the rest of the night talking smack and badmouthing other people. Petyr, I expected more from. As for miss twitchy, I am so over her.

Darien Fenner

Date: 2011-10-09 21:45 EST
I don't mind poor attitudes, though. In fact, I rather enjoy them. Negative criticism is fun to write and to read. But realistically speaking, it is hard to stay annoyed at a party where one is cornered and tackled by half-naked ridiculously hot women. Yeardley and Harper, as it turns out, are just as dangerous in person as I had foreseen. But you know what? Being smothered by Harper's rack or bludgeoned to death by Yeardley's paint bombs are not the worst way to go. And though I was hurt " hurt " that Yeardley did not initially recognize (as Tara puts it) the hottest man alive, their ferocity still managed to have me gleefully fearing for my own life. Sooo on the list. Check, and check.

Speaking of hotness. I may have mentioned earlier that Corea is cuter that Seirichi, but when you put those two together the hotness kind of reaches an all new level. Corea can play the coy card, but daaaaayum if she doesn't completely let loose with Madam Sexiness McStabalot (which is henceforth Seirichi's nickname). I wouldn't kick that one out of bed for eating crackers. Folks, there's only two places blood can flow when it comes to guys. And let's just say I walked away from a dance with them feeling more than a little lightheaded.

GRANGER DANGER! It's like 'stranger danger," but without the prospects of pedophilia. I have good news and I have bad news about our Granger friends. As it turns out, love of my life Gigi Granger was there, at Color Your City. In the same room as I was. That is the good news. I heard her sweet and scathing voice, but the bad news is she is like the albino tiger of the sexy species of woman. Beautiful from a distance but nigh impossible to catch. Though I did not get the chance to see her with my own eyes, my sources inform me that Gigi and Dominic of the he-Grangers seemed to actually be getting into some kind of row. Even if they weren't, one or both of them looked utterly ticked off, which I'm sure was an interesting sight among sprays of cotton candy blue and radioactive pink. But what is my Gigi if not irritated about something" Mark my words. She will be mine. Oh, yes. She will be mine.

Still on Grangers, though' Does not-naked Katt have a thing going on with Dominic" Her not-naked self was spied making eyes at him from across the room and getting awfully meek in his company. And though she was very much clothed, there is a strong possibility that there was a blush going on there. Does our always-wears-clothes Katt have a schoolgirl crush' It sure seems like it.

So much love for Kazzy. Hot Misguided Genius as she is, she is also a terrific co-host and death on wheels " at least when it comes to paint and frosting. And you know, she and Grem still rock my socks in terms of how well they work together. That there is one couple that I actually don't expect to explode magnificently in flames and glory. And for RhyDin, that is saying something!

That's all for now, folks! Thanks for a great evening, and as always, stay sassy!