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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
Death to Chivalry: This Week in Review! November 27, 2011
One word: WINTERFEST!
December first is just a few days away, folks. That means you only have a few days to spam Risa's mailbox with ridiculously inappropriate (or appropriate, for you boring RhyDinians out there) nominations and bright pink fan mail. While the list has gotten pretty lengthy, there is always a back page to add more names, so stop hesitating and nominate dangit!
Have you all arranged for your booths" Days off" Clean underwear" Chaser Plus?" Janie certainly has " or at least we can speak for the booth. Between you and me, she and her hot Scathian Sisters can probably do without the other things. Monday she was overheard chatting with Tick, Ebon, and Issy about a kissing booth idea for Winterfest. We at the Post are aaaaaall for that. Not only is it for an awesome cause, but if it means locking lips with that blonde bombshell, I have a distinct feeling they'll need potato sacks to carry away all the cash they'll be earning. Moreover, if Janie is involved, we sincerely hope that means she's bringing along all the lovely ladies from that group. Now, this isn't a slight against EmDoc and her crowd, as Riverview seems to have an annual kissing thing every Beltane, but if Janie & Co. end up doing this maybe this means we'll have a variety of lips to choose from. From what my sources tell me, though, Issy wasn't too keen on the idea of making out with complete strangers. Which means she must hate orphans and wants them never to have homes or happy lives. Do you really hate children, Issuelt' Do you? For the love of god, think of the children.
Go figure the newest addition to Audrey's and Magenta's family would also have breasts. I hear Monday she was seen trying to foist a (likely brain-damaged) pet technicolor turkey onto poor, unsuspecting patrons in the RDI. Apparently the thing got thrown at her head by someone before or after the turkey shoot at Stars End and rather than leaving it where it was she instead felt some strange obligation to bring it into a populated area. What the hell, right' Someone is bound to eat it. Not Magenta, we hear, as the blonde was heard expressing some reluctance at eating something fluorescent purple. All I can say is if Magenta is afraid of it - Magenta, who is willing to try just about anything " I would be genuinely afraid.
While it won't quite qualify as the comeback of the week, my sources inform me that there was still quite a notable comeback Tuesday. Eze was spotted briefly in the Inn that night making small talk over a beer with Ander. He didn't have much to say, but Ander was quick to take the opportunity to give him the rundown of what was going on in his love life " which, from what I can gather, is a little bit mysterious. Eze didn't seem terribly invested in the conversation and left soon after, which begs the question as to what exactly he had on his mind. More importantly, where have he and his sweetheart been lately' These are things your stalkers wish to know.
Now, the REAL comebacks of the week undoubtedly go to Eleanor and Perceval, who were spotted Thursday talking about brawling of all things. Perceval I could see; though he seems more like the kind of bloke who would only fight unless he had to. But Eleanor" No offense, but she would not be my first choice if it came to throwing down with Edward Norton. Put a pair of pistols in her hands, though, and that's a whole different ball of wax. Regardless, I hear Perceval was expressing some concern for Eleanor's seemingly newfound hobby and to be honest so are we. We gossipers have never been huge fans of the dueling or underground brawling phenomenon (I like my nose the shape it's in, thank you), so all I can say is I hope to heck Eleanor gets out before she tastes the Kool-Aid, as we tend to like her minus the black eye.
Alright. I don't know who this Daniel guy was who was wandering around the Inn Saturday, but I've just got to say I admire his approach. Apparently the guy was pretty hungry for a date, and rather than go through all the crap you women make us do before we're allowed to get into your pants he upfront made the rounds asking just about nearly everything with whether they'd go on a date with him. I'm not gonna lie, folks. Despite what I might say there are still times when I'd really rather that romance and chivalry were dead and things could always be that easy. Let me know if that method works out in the end, because if it does it'll save me from the humiliating future of come-ons and one-liners.
So last week I believe I made mention of Rayva and how quickly she was making it onto my list. Well as I'm sure you, my fabulous readers, know I am not easily impressed. Further I am always suspicious of a new face, which has led me to have some serious doubts about now. Really' In my experience I have never seen or met a RhyDin drow so utterly friendly and perky who wasn't hiding something. Where is her brutal, gut-wrenching angst' Why have we not witnessed some hissing and sulking" God, this girl needs an angsty role model. Anyone have Suliss" number" Or" the location of whatever cave she resides in"
Speaking of angsty role models, Wednesday night Leo Two (not to be confused with Leo Heeeeeeeeracleides) was spotted briefly attempting to cheer up boytoy and Prince of Angst Petyr. My sources couldn't get too close to hear much of the conversation, but I'd be willing to bet my monthly salary and a shoe that it had something to do with the fact that mini-mef Montgomery has been seen hanging around the Isle recently. Now, I don't really know how the dynamic is with dude couples, but in my own personal opinion if I had a perfectly good piece of tail within hand's reach, I don't think I'd poison the mood by pining over my ex. I honestly can't speak for the male-liking community, and I'm sure mini-mef Montgomery is a pretty decent bloke, but seriously. What is Leo Two' Chopped liver" Move on, man. Get laid and get over it.
Bow-chicka! Katt, baby, you cannot tease us like you did on Thursday any longer. From what I'm told the Bon Bon aficionado waltzed into the Red Dragon that night looking like she'd just gotten home from a hot date " or was looking for one. Now while I have personally seen her in spandex and nothing can really top that, I must say that her girly getup definitely necessitated a double-take. Interestingly enough, I hear all she did was strut herself Innward, drop off some goodies, and leave. Whaaaat' What is the story there" That girl sure knows how to dangle the carrot. As of right now she is OFFICIALLY on the list.
I feel like there's a very sharp divide between types of women in this town. The first type " the overwhelming majority " generally ascribes to a" looser mentality, meaning that their idea of a polite greeting involves pushing their boobs against you (not that I'm complaining). The other category of women, though, are the kinds that have a self-perception so far off it's scary. You know the type. I'm talking about women like Ella who seem generally surprised when they are nominated for something like Winterfest. Uh, hello' You're gorgeous and likable and popular. Bjorn was right to say that she's more than pretty enough to be in the running. The pair of them just ooze prettiness, actually. And from what I hear, Saturday saw Bjorn and Ella flirting shamelessly with one another. What's the hold up" I can smell the lust through my illegal surveillance films, kids. You have a duty as pretty people to make pretty children, and your life will not be fulfilled until you do so.
Man, I honestly do not envy Toby about now. My sources inform me that the insanely hot Kingsley showed up at the Inn recently and seemingly confronted a flabbergasted Toby about being locked up. Who knows what that type of locking up refers to, but from what my sources heard it did not seem like the good kind ? you know, with the role playing and what-not. Sheesh. It's always the pretty ones, right' Now I know that Toby's had his ups and downs and hasn't always been on my good side in terms of his behavior or his decision-making, but realistically the last thing that dude needs is a whole other can of crazy tagging along beside him. Run for your life, man. Run.
That's all for now! Remember to get your frost on for Winterfest, and, as always, stay sassy!
Death to Chivalry: This Week in Review! November 27, 2011
One word: WINTERFEST!
December first is just a few days away, folks. That means you only have a few days to spam Risa's mailbox with ridiculously inappropriate (or appropriate, for you boring RhyDinians out there) nominations and bright pink fan mail. While the list has gotten pretty lengthy, there is always a back page to add more names, so stop hesitating and nominate dangit!
Have you all arranged for your booths" Days off" Clean underwear" Chaser Plus?" Janie certainly has " or at least we can speak for the booth. Between you and me, she and her hot Scathian Sisters can probably do without the other things. Monday she was overheard chatting with Tick, Ebon, and Issy about a kissing booth idea for Winterfest. We at the Post are aaaaaall for that. Not only is it for an awesome cause, but if it means locking lips with that blonde bombshell, I have a distinct feeling they'll need potato sacks to carry away all the cash they'll be earning. Moreover, if Janie is involved, we sincerely hope that means she's bringing along all the lovely ladies from that group. Now, this isn't a slight against EmDoc and her crowd, as Riverview seems to have an annual kissing thing every Beltane, but if Janie & Co. end up doing this maybe this means we'll have a variety of lips to choose from. From what my sources tell me, though, Issy wasn't too keen on the idea of making out with complete strangers. Which means she must hate orphans and wants them never to have homes or happy lives. Do you really hate children, Issuelt' Do you? For the love of god, think of the children.
Go figure the newest addition to Audrey's and Magenta's family would also have breasts. I hear Monday she was seen trying to foist a (likely brain-damaged) pet technicolor turkey onto poor, unsuspecting patrons in the RDI. Apparently the thing got thrown at her head by someone before or after the turkey shoot at Stars End and rather than leaving it where it was she instead felt some strange obligation to bring it into a populated area. What the hell, right' Someone is bound to eat it. Not Magenta, we hear, as the blonde was heard expressing some reluctance at eating something fluorescent purple. All I can say is if Magenta is afraid of it - Magenta, who is willing to try just about anything " I would be genuinely afraid.
While it won't quite qualify as the comeback of the week, my sources inform me that there was still quite a notable comeback Tuesday. Eze was spotted briefly in the Inn that night making small talk over a beer with Ander. He didn't have much to say, but Ander was quick to take the opportunity to give him the rundown of what was going on in his love life " which, from what I can gather, is a little bit mysterious. Eze didn't seem terribly invested in the conversation and left soon after, which begs the question as to what exactly he had on his mind. More importantly, where have he and his sweetheart been lately' These are things your stalkers wish to know.
Now, the REAL comebacks of the week undoubtedly go to Eleanor and Perceval, who were spotted Thursday talking about brawling of all things. Perceval I could see; though he seems more like the kind of bloke who would only fight unless he had to. But Eleanor" No offense, but she would not be my first choice if it came to throwing down with Edward Norton. Put a pair of pistols in her hands, though, and that's a whole different ball of wax. Regardless, I hear Perceval was expressing some concern for Eleanor's seemingly newfound hobby and to be honest so are we. We gossipers have never been huge fans of the dueling or underground brawling phenomenon (I like my nose the shape it's in, thank you), so all I can say is I hope to heck Eleanor gets out before she tastes the Kool-Aid, as we tend to like her minus the black eye.
Alright. I don't know who this Daniel guy was who was wandering around the Inn Saturday, but I've just got to say I admire his approach. Apparently the guy was pretty hungry for a date, and rather than go through all the crap you women make us do before we're allowed to get into your pants he upfront made the rounds asking just about nearly everything with whether they'd go on a date with him. I'm not gonna lie, folks. Despite what I might say there are still times when I'd really rather that romance and chivalry were dead and things could always be that easy. Let me know if that method works out in the end, because if it does it'll save me from the humiliating future of come-ons and one-liners.
So last week I believe I made mention of Rayva and how quickly she was making it onto my list. Well as I'm sure you, my fabulous readers, know I am not easily impressed. Further I am always suspicious of a new face, which has led me to have some serious doubts about now. Really' In my experience I have never seen or met a RhyDin drow so utterly friendly and perky who wasn't hiding something. Where is her brutal, gut-wrenching angst' Why have we not witnessed some hissing and sulking" God, this girl needs an angsty role model. Anyone have Suliss" number" Or" the location of whatever cave she resides in"
Speaking of angsty role models, Wednesday night Leo Two (not to be confused with Leo Heeeeeeeeracleides) was spotted briefly attempting to cheer up boytoy and Prince of Angst Petyr. My sources couldn't get too close to hear much of the conversation, but I'd be willing to bet my monthly salary and a shoe that it had something to do with the fact that mini-mef Montgomery has been seen hanging around the Isle recently. Now, I don't really know how the dynamic is with dude couples, but in my own personal opinion if I had a perfectly good piece of tail within hand's reach, I don't think I'd poison the mood by pining over my ex. I honestly can't speak for the male-liking community, and I'm sure mini-mef Montgomery is a pretty decent bloke, but seriously. What is Leo Two' Chopped liver" Move on, man. Get laid and get over it.
Bow-chicka! Katt, baby, you cannot tease us like you did on Thursday any longer. From what I'm told the Bon Bon aficionado waltzed into the Red Dragon that night looking like she'd just gotten home from a hot date " or was looking for one. Now while I have personally seen her in spandex and nothing can really top that, I must say that her girly getup definitely necessitated a double-take. Interestingly enough, I hear all she did was strut herself Innward, drop off some goodies, and leave. Whaaaat' What is the story there" That girl sure knows how to dangle the carrot. As of right now she is OFFICIALLY on the list.
I feel like there's a very sharp divide between types of women in this town. The first type " the overwhelming majority " generally ascribes to a" looser mentality, meaning that their idea of a polite greeting involves pushing their boobs against you (not that I'm complaining). The other category of women, though, are the kinds that have a self-perception so far off it's scary. You know the type. I'm talking about women like Ella who seem generally surprised when they are nominated for something like Winterfest. Uh, hello' You're gorgeous and likable and popular. Bjorn was right to say that she's more than pretty enough to be in the running. The pair of them just ooze prettiness, actually. And from what I hear, Saturday saw Bjorn and Ella flirting shamelessly with one another. What's the hold up" I can smell the lust through my illegal surveillance films, kids. You have a duty as pretty people to make pretty children, and your life will not be fulfilled until you do so.
Man, I honestly do not envy Toby about now. My sources inform me that the insanely hot Kingsley showed up at the Inn recently and seemingly confronted a flabbergasted Toby about being locked up. Who knows what that type of locking up refers to, but from what my sources heard it did not seem like the good kind ? you know, with the role playing and what-not. Sheesh. It's always the pretty ones, right' Now I know that Toby's had his ups and downs and hasn't always been on my good side in terms of his behavior or his decision-making, but realistically the last thing that dude needs is a whole other can of crazy tagging along beside him. Run for your life, man. Run.
That's all for now! Remember to get your frost on for Winterfest, and, as always, stay sassy!