- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a high-tech news studio with flat screen television sets, and a massive, glossy black desk. Two men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a khaki suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a black suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. Both men, equipped with headsets, smile at the camera. -

Peter: How's it going, RhyDin" I'm Peter Pham, sports columnist.

Chris: And I'm Chris Reed, and I've decided that double-whopper bacon cheeseburgers are good for me!

Peter: Welcome to the Post's continuing coverage of the Duel of Swords Madness tournament. Tonight, we're pleased to bring you -

Chris: - Interrupting. - Hang on a minute there, Pete. Aren't you forgetting something"

Peter: I thought we agreed we weren't going to talk about that on the air.

Chris: Oh come on. If you don't I sure as heck will. This is too controversial to pass up.

Peter: With all due respect, Chris, when is anything he does not controversial"

Chris: RhyDin. I have a beef to pick with one of you. And while I won't name names, I'll just let you know that it rhymes with Shmuillermus Shmortis.

Peter: Smooth, Chris.

Chris: Can I help it if some people don't realize how much money some people have on some squire tournaments"

Peter: I'm beginning to think you've got a problem, Chris.

Chris: That may be, but at least I don't make everyone else's life stinky and miserable because of it!

Peter: Right. And calling me in the middle of the night to bail you out of jail is?"

Chris: All in good fun, Pete. All in good fun. Besides, it's not like you had anything better to do.

Peter: Of course not. Not like I had sleeping to do or anything. God forbid.

Chris: All I'm saying is there is something called courtesy. I wonder if the guy's doing what he's doing just because he can do it.

Peter: As long as you've got the rank, you can compete howsoever you choose. And speaking of competition, let's get back to our coverage, shall we" Tonight, we're pleased to bring you an installment from the Sweet Sixteen bracket of the Madness tournament - Wyheree Ravenlock and Rekah Illyriana. Now. We've covered Ravenlock before, but what do you think about Illyriana, Chris"

Chris: I hear she's taking the sport by storm, Pete. She and Delahada rocked the Tour, and I hear she got to the finals of the Talon tournament. Pretty impressive for such a tiny little thing.

Peter: Well, you know what they say. Great, big things come in small packages.

Chris: Who says that' That doesn't make any sense!

Peter: It's a figure of speech, Chris.

- Roll footage, Round 1 and 2. LP/LP 0 All; TH/LC 1-0 Illyriana. -

Illyriana: She kept the tonfa flush with her forearm and just hopped in to tap Wyh's midsection, then she hopped back.

Ravenlock: Arcs her blade low, leaving herself open for the incoming tonfa.

Chris: Whoa! Hold the presses here! Is that a pair of tonfa I see"

Peter: It is indeed. That's a pretty interesting set of weapons to take on Ravenlock's rapier.

Chris: Can we get a zoom-in on those"

- Zoom-in on Rekah's choice of weapons. -

Chris: I am so stoked for this, Pete. Tonfa are a unique martial arts weapon specializing in solid defense. See the way the length of it protects the forearm' Adept fighters may as well be wearing gauntlets when they use them. The two handles double as striking implements as well. Watch Illyriana's footwork here as she powers through the cut by Ravenlock.

- Slow-motion, action replay of Rekah's thrust over Wyheree's lower maneuver. -

Peter: Interesting. I think I've seen that fighting style somewhere before.

Chris: You bet your over-gelled hair, you have! See the way Illyriana's body angles up to back her attack" When the tonfa is held by the handle and flipped like that, it has the same deadly potential as a baseball bat.

Peter: That's where I've seen it. Illyriana's technique just screams Graziano.

Chris: I think blunt weapons are making a brutal comeback!

- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3. SS/TH 1.5-0 Illyriana. -

Ravenlock: Stabs in with the rapier, and finds air.

Illyriana: Squints and takes her penguin pants right out of the way. "Oh! Good! I will give some candy when we are done in here!" Arms are going like she's running in place.

Peter: Wow. I must say, I'm rather surprised by Illyriana's quick footing. Ravenlock's thrusts are something to tremble with fright over. And what an awkward evasion"

Chris: I guess she's a little bit more perceptive than you give her credit for. I want some candy, too, though. Pete never gives me candy. - Informative. -

Peter: Because you always eat too much and get a stomach ache.

Chris: I'll be good this time, I promise!

- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. HC/LC. 2.5-1 Illyriana. -

Ravenlock: Arcs the rapier low to tap Rekah in the leg, feeling the return tap to her shoulder.

Illyriana: A left handed swing and tapping Wyh's shoulder as she got a reminder to guard her legs.

Chris: You know" I'll give it to these ladies for being cordial and such, but part of me is crying for the bloodshed. We need to throw Delahada or someone from the Wrecking Crew in there. People would walk out limping.

Peter: I'd pay to see that. The Wrecking Crew against former Deathcake. See how an up-and-coming Illyriana would match against some of the greats.

Chris: That's not to say Ravenlock isn't one of the greats, Pete. But she's awfully polite for a sport that employs needless violence.

- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. TH/HC 3.5-1 Illyriana. -

Ravenlock: Reverses, leaving herself open for another poke of the tonfa.

Illyriana: Rekah just really does not like haircuts, that's all. So, she dipped aside and tapped the blunted end of the tonfa to Wyh once more. Then she bounced back.

Peter: Ugh. How many times must I say it' I'm boycotting the dang bookend.

Chris: That's a very graceful move on Ravenlock's part, Pete, but it looks like Illyriana is just a little bit quicker to exploit her opponent's openings!

Peter: It's not exploitation if you saw it coming.

- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6, 7, and 8. LC/LC 3.5-1 Illyriana; FLP/FLP 3.5-1 Illyriana; CP/TH. 4-1 Illyriana. -

Chris: Whoa, whoa, WHOA! That is the fattest, ugliest set of null rounds I've ever seen in my life! Boo, I say! Boo!

Peter: Let's have a quick look at those defenses again, shall we"

- Roll footage of Rounds Six and Seven, zooming in on the low-cross of blades, which break and parry simultaneously. -

Chris: It's like looking in a dang mirror. Ravenlock's just toying with her now.

Peter: She's two and a half under, Chris. I doubt Ravenlock has time to play around. I can't help but feel like she's reassessing her strategy and weighing into Illyriana's defenses.

Chris: That sounds about right. What is it we've been saying about shifting strategies halfway through a match"

Peter: Then again, not changing strategies is a strategy in and of itself.

Chris: Well, I'm at least glad one of them made a move. Tough break it had to be Ravenlock, and tough break it wound up being on the short end of the deal. But at least she knows how to cater to a crowd. I swear, I could have gone and made popcorn during those last two rounds!

- End footage Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. LC/FCP 4-2 Illyriana. -

Illyriana: Well, she hit a really well placed and super pretty defense.

Ravenlock: Drops her rapier low, spinning away in fine style.

Chris: Oh gorgeous" GORGEOUS! Beautiful, beautiful defense by Ravenlock. I want to have another look at that.

- Slow-motion action replay of Wyheree's adept parry. -

Chris: Boom! Here we see the obvious disadvantages of the tonfa. Blunt, easily anticipated offenses. It's not a weapon that's built for angled moves, that's for sure.

- Rewind. Slow-motion replay. Rewind. Replay. -

Peter: Chris"

- Rewind. Replay. -

Peter: Chris" That's quite enough.

- Rewind. Replay. Rewind. Replay. -

Peter: Chris! Give me that stupid thing!

Chris: No! I want to see it again!

- Rewind, replay, rewind, replay, rewind" all in fast-forward, now. -

Peter: I said now!

- Sounds of obvious conflict arise. Grunting, shouting, microphone feedback. Thudding. The screen goes to static, then blacks out. -