Topic: Duel of Swords Madness: Van Bokkelen v. Capistrano, March 27

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-03-30 21:13 EST
RhyDin Sports

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/57423440.jpg Sports Columnist: Peter Pham

Duel of Swords Madness: Van Bokkelen vs. Capistrano, March 27 March 30, 2010

Attention RhyDin:

Recorded copies of the Swords showcase duel between Xanth Van Bokkelen and Jay Capistrano are now available for purchase at the RhyDin Post for eight dollars or five copper. Please make check or money orders payable to the Post, and include your name and mailing address on the request form. Footage is available in dvd or holodisk form, and includes commentary by everyone's favorite Sports Guy Peter Pham, and retired dueler Chris Reed. Shipping and handling fees not included in price of purchase.

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-03-30 21:15 EST
- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a high-tech news studio with flat screen television sets, and a massive, glossy black desk. Two men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a black suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a navy suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. Both men, equipped with headsets, smile at the camera. Chris, however, looks down and begins writing something. -

Peter: How's it going, RhyDin" I'm Peter Pham, sports columnist!

Chris: And I'm Chris Reed, and I'm the reason we can't have nice things.

Peter: Welcome to the Post's continuing coverage of the Duel of Swords Madness tournament! Tonight, we're very pleased to bring you -

Chris: - Gasping. - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hang on! Wait a second!

Peter: What"! What is it"!

Chris: My foot's asleep.

Peter: You know how you can fix that' Stop breathing.

Chris: Really"

Peter: Oh yeah. Just stop breathing. You'll stop feeling it in no time.

Chris: Wow! Thanks, Pete! That's the first time you've been helpful!

Peter: Not at all, Chris. Now you go and do that while I introduce our fight.

Chris: O.K.!

Peter: RhyDin, tonight we're privileged to bring you a fight between two of our greats. Xanth Van Bokkelen and Jay Capistrano. Now, you caught the Van Bokkelen fight with Penelope Brown, didn't you Chris" " Chris" You're actually doing it"

Chris: - Exhales. - Hey! It actually worked!

Peter: You're kind of blue, Chris.

Chris: So I am. But it worked!

Peter: Wow. O.K. Focus, Chris. The fight between Van Bokkelen and Brown"

Chris: Oh yeah. That was a pretty good one, Pete. Brown had excellent form, but ultimately it just came down to strategy and experience. Van Bokkelen had a leg-up on that one.

Peter: What about the Capistrano fight against Samiyah Zayn"

Chris: Complete shut-out, Pete. Capistrano is a bloody machine. I would pay a steep sum to get lessons from the guy that trained him.

Peter: Somehow, I doubt that would help you.

Chris: Oh that's just not nice.

Peter: You're right. I'm sorry. I'm sure if you hold your breath again, the pain will go away.

Chris: Fine. But time me this time, yeah"

Peter: Whatever you say, Chris.

- Roll footage Round 1. FSS/LC 1-0 Capistrano. -

Capistrano: He drove the bat downwards in a vicious blow meant to strike Xanth's knee, hopefully resulting in slowing him down.

Van Bokkelen: Floats quickly to the right, trying to outflank his opponent, but the bat strikes him before he can get very far.

Chris: Whoa, whoa! Let's have a closer look at Capistrano's weapon of choice, shall we"

- Zoom in on Jay, a neon orange rune-spray painted baseball bat in his left hand and a shiny new steel buckler in his right hand. -

Chris: - Low whistle. - Is it just me, or is this weapon a little popular among the vets"

Peter: It might be just you, but I am beginning to see a little bit of a pattern.

Chris: What's interesting about bats is how top-heavy they are. It's a little perfect that Capistrano's matched up with Van Bokkelen, too, in that sense. The latter's weapon of choice is a rapier. Rapiers tend to have a weight distribution of about fifty-three percent, with the balance shifted slightly in favor of the hilt. On top of that, rapiers are notoriously lightweight and require uncanny finesse, whereas something like a bludgeon weapon generally takes mainly speed and accuracy.

Peter: Do you mean to say Capistrano's strength lies in his arm, or in his weapon"

Chris: Not necessarily either, Pete. Capistrano is a pretty lithe fellow. I'd say the power comes from his body. I mean' look at how he built up that first swing. The wind-up starts in his legs, is channeled through his waist, and that is the force that drives the bat down.

Peter: Meanwhile, Van Bokkelen's eyes are straight ahead. He might need to spare the occasional downward glance if he plans on lasting a few more rounds.

- End footage Round 1. Roll footage, Round 2. HC/FLP 2-0 Capistrano. -

Capistrano: After the low attack, he straightened up a little, before swiftly bringing his buckler into the path of the high strike and quickly countering with a swing of his bat.

Van Bokkelen: Tries to counterattack with a high swing of his rapier, but finds himself quickly in the hole as the parry deflects his attempt.

Peter: Eyes are always up on this one.

Chris: That move of Van Bokkelen had potential to be excellent, though.

Peter: How so' Capistrano deflected it!

Chris: Think about it logistically though, Pete. It takes a great amount of effort to lift the bat as fast as he did. Since Capistrano was already down, the easiest and wisest thing for Van Bokkelen was to do was to take advantage of that opening at his shoulder.

Peter: Not fast enough, unfortunately.

Chris: Still. You can't deny Van Bokkelen's strategic way of thinking.

- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3. TH/CP 2.5-0 Capistrano. -

Van Bokkelen: Thrusts forward trying to catch Jay off guard but falls into the trap of the bookend parry.

Capistrano: He committed to the parry at the last moment, leaving him able to block the attack but unable to counter.

Chris: Here we get to see an example of a well-executed attempt, though. Can we have a look at that again?

- Slow motion, action replay of Xanth's lunge and Jay's circular block. -

Chris: This right here is one of the best characteristics of Capistrano's weapon. The uneven shape makes its downward arc smooth and graceful. Like a pendulum.

Peter: I wonder how Van Bokkelen is supposed to exploit any weaknesses in that kind of a fight.

Chris: How do you mean, Pete"

Peter: Well a rapier's trajectory is generally pretty angular, right' And a bat has a rather broad spectrum of defense.

Chris: That's all true, but you're failing to account for the fighters themselves, Pete. If he's quick enough, Van Bokkelen can get in there and tag him with seconds to spare. And a baseball bat with just about any other fighter" Well. Except Graziano' would turn out to be unstable and unwieldy. That's the whole point of this tournament. To showcase the skills of the fighters themselves.

Peter: You're being surprisingly perceptive tonight, Chris.

Chris: I think it's the loss of oxygen to my brain. Maybe it killed off some malfunctioning brain cells.

- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. LC/HC 3.5-1 Capistrano. -

Van Bokkelen: Avoids the shutout by reaching forward enough to land a low strike to Jay's legs, but has to give up an opening high to do so.

Capistrano: A bit of a wince as Xanth's low strike landed, but he kept his poise and focus and landed his high horizontal bat swing as well.

Peter: Though it comes at a cost, I am rather glad to see Van Bokkelen on the board.

Chris: Me too, Pete. After his fight with Brown, I've been getting all riled up to cover this one! Hey' you think he feels that, Pete"

Peter: What' The hit' I imagine so.

Chris: I really need to land an interview with this guy. Any of you awesome RhyDinians have any ideas"

Peter: I'm sure he'd loooooove that, Chris.

Chris: You never know. Maybe secretly he loves publicity! I could make it happen, you know. Get him on the cover of a few magazines. Get him a book deal. The whole shebang.

Peter: Oh. I'm glad to see your malfunctioning brain cells have regenerated themselves.

Chris: They're resilient. You'd be surprised.

- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. FCP/FDU 4.5-1 Capistrano. -

Capistrano: He dropped down and, seeing Xanth defending his lower body, dove right past him to get into superior position behind Xanth.

Van Bokkelen: Tries to go defensive with a low parry, but gets outmaneuvered and fails.

Chris: Capistrano is easily making it to my top five list, Pete. Look at the perfect way he dives through Van Bokkelen's defense! Can we say, b-e-a-utiful"

Peter: That was really an excellent means of exploiting the opening Van Bokkelen created with his parry, I must say. Here we are able to see an example as to how fighters can rack up points without even needing to tag each other.

Chris: But why would you ever want to do that, Pete" Swords is allllll about the bloodshed!

- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6. TH/SS 5-1 Capistrano. -

Van Bokkelen: Stabs forward and hits nothing but air, and that, as they say, is that.

Capistrano: From the position he had earned in the previous round, he took a simple shuffle step to the side out of the way of the thrusting Xanth. When the final call was made, he took a step back at the duel's conclusion and bowed to Xanth.

Peter: Alas, careful footing by Capistrano earns him the win.

Chris: I told you it's all in the body for that one, Pete. Van Bokkelen made a valiant attempt, but it really just boils down to who is faster on their feet. In this case, I'm going to have to side with Capistrano.

- Camera returns to the studio, where both men are engaged in discussion. -

Peter: I don't know, Chris. I have a feeling that it we pitted these two up in a rematch, Van Bokkelen might do quite a bit better. He seems to have just been having an off night.

Chris: You want to place a wager on that one, Pete"

Peter: Actually' Yes. Yes I do.

Chris: Oh-ho! Things are getting interesting! You heard it, ladies and gents. Peter Pham is betting on the air against the Sportsmaster Chris Reed.

Peter: Sportsmaster? When did this particular title come about'

Chris: When I found out that Fight Suzerain was already taken.

Peter: Ah. Well, that does it for us here at the Post, ladies and gentlemen. As always, if there is a fight you would like covered, or if there is a question you would like answered, or if only to express an opinion, feel free to shoot us a letter at the columns!

Chris: Until next time, I'm Chris Reed.

Peter: And I'm Peter Pham. You stay sporty, RhyDin!