Topic: Fifty Jobs They'll Never Have

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-09-03 20:37 EST
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/521311356_3ef416f175-1.jpg Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane

Fifty Jobs They'll Never Have September 3, 2010

What's that, RhyDin" You hate your job' Oh, well why didn't you say so! There's a special support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and we meet at the bar on Wednesdays.*

How does that old saying go' If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing well" Bollucks, I say. Unless it's a truly engaging and fantastic kind of work, chances are at some point it is going to get monotonous, and you're going to slack. It's just human/orcish/elvish/vampiric/sluggish/algaeic/unic ellular nature. But hey. You pick a career, you stick with it, right' We're just relieved that you picked one that's remotely reasonable (or at least generally character-appropriate).

Having a look at our favorite RhyDinians, we here at the Gossip Column managed to whip together a list of careers we're relatively certain a few people might not make it in. Then again, there's a first time for everything.

Without further ado, we give you: Fifty Jobs They'll Never Have!

Rekah Illyriana : Mortician

Mish'Cael : Speech Therapist

Audrey Horne : Marriage Counselor

Drake Jones : Social Worker

Mirabelle : Tax Auditor

Vas Drel : Chastity Coach

Fenris Wolf : WWE Championship Wrestler

Chryrie Nightstar : Family Therapist

Tormay Eludes : Necromancer

Aoife Duggan : Phone Psychic

Drithnak : Minister of Citizen Resources

Neo Eternity : Porn Retailer

David Lo : Supermodel

Shylah : Professional Feminist

Kheldar Drasinia : Trend Forecaster

Colleen MacLeod : Crocodile Wrangler

Kalamere Ar'Din : Barista

Tasslehofl Momus : Girls Basketball Coach

Pearl : Youth Group Leader

Alystrianna : Phlebotomist

Travanix : Naturopath

Joey Damarco : Professional Drug Tester

Jake Duncan : CEO for Market Advertising Firm

Aja Bird : Nuclear Engineer

Corlanthis Wystansayr : International Spy

Artemus Kurgen : Hypnotist

Ahni : Motivational Speaker

Rix Favre : Fashion Consultant

Jaycy Ashleana : Telemarketer

Kate : Circus Carny

Darcy Huntington Shimmerscale : Life Coach

Mason : Spiritual Advisor

Sitalkis: Corporate Investment Mogul

Throx Skullcrusher : Dermatologist

Petyr M. : Drill Instructor

Arts : Daycare Supervisor

Xanth Van Bokkelen : Crisis Hotline Shift Leader

Hina : Sex Ed Instructor

Elessaria De'Vabriel : Herpetologist

Duci : Construction Worker

Stephen Kidd : Molecular Biologist

Kat Ollavan : Relationship Counselor

Gwen Minx : Mime

Ali al Amat : Comedian

Connar V. : Pickpocket

Mayverdia Aleta : Career Counselor

Gabriel : AA Sponsor

Darkmere Alcar : Judge for RhyDin's Got Talent!

Topaz : Mail Carrier

Quinn Benoit : Walking Billboard



]