Topic: Fists Showcase Match: Harold Lee vs. Scotty

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-08-02 17:23 EST
RhyDin Sports

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/57423440.jpg Sports Columnist: Peter Pham

Fists Showcase Match: Harold Lee vs. Scotty: July 25 August 2, 2010

Attention RhyDin:

Recorded copies of the Fists showcase duel between Harold Lee and Scotty are now available for purchase at the RhyDin Post for eight dollars or five copper. Please make check or money orders payable to the Post, and include your name and mailing address on the request form. Footage is available in dvd or holodisk form, and includes commentary by everyone's favorite Sports Guy Peter Pham, and retired dueler Chris Reed. Shipping and handling fees not included in price of purchase.

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-08-02 17:35 EST
- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a high-tech news studio with flat screen television sets, and a massive, glossy black desk. Two men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a pale gray, pinstriped suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a navy suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. Both men, equipped with headsets, smile at the camera. -

Peter: Thanks for tuning, sir or ma'am. By now you know, I'm Peter Pham.

Chris: Tonight's a special show of sorts. Oh, and my name's Chris, and I do sports!

Peter: If you're smart, you'll change the channel; from here I cannot reach the panel. See, there's this deed I rather regret"

Chris: - Interrupting. - He means to say, he lost a bet.

Peter: And now I'm sad to say this time, I'm forced to do a show in rhyme.

Chris: My colleague complains far too much. It's not that hard to rhyme" and such.

Peter: I truly offer my apologies, and ask that you be patient please. For if I stop for just one second"

Chris: - Wearing an evil smile. - Then I get all his checks, I reckon.

Peter: So bear with me while we call this fight. - Lowers his voice. - I recommend a drink tonight.

Chris: A challenge right now seems a little too serious. So we've chosen a match that won't make us delirious.

Peter: Chris" I really don't think I can keep this going"

Chris: Breathe in and out! Just keep it flowing!

Peter: - Sigh. - The footage we have we have The Annex to thank for"

Chris: - Interrupting. - Just throwing this in there: I still like The Tank more.

Peter: As long as you don't mention CrushBob this time in"

Chris: Thanks for reminding me! GO TEAM SIMON!

Peter: Just roll the footage before I flee. The twenty-fifth: Scotty and Lee.

- Roll footage Round 1 and 2. DO/DO 0 all; AB/JB 0+-0 Lee. -

Scotty: ...well! So much for starting defensively. He eyes his husband as they dodge one another, grinning. "Nae this again!" Been married too long. He's deflected from his attempted tag.

Lee: Ah, and his husband is beautiful, dancing away like that. So long as he dances back, that is. A little bounce and a grin.

Chris: I get they're hitched in all respects, but they've wasted two rounds having shameless eye se-

Peter: - Interrupting. NEXT!

- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3. DU/CH 1-0 Scotty. -

Scotty: He tries for a tag with a follow-up chop, mostly to see if he can slip past Harold's defenses enough for a point. Light, as always; barely connecting.

Lee: He's tagged and moves back to position. A soft look, always impressed with Scotty's motion and skill.

Peter: Kudos to The Scot right there; he stepped in without a moment to spare.

Chris: Unless I'm mistaken, he's rather fast. I wonder; was he trained in the past"

Peter: From what I've heard, he's awfully handy. No doubt that's base to his modus operandi.

- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. SW/SnK 2-1 Scotty. -

Scotty: Well, more like a toe-tap! Though, he does kinda want a kiss....aye. So, he steals one after dropping his foot again.

Lee: He giggles and steals it right back, probably lingering on it a bit.

Chris: Get a room or get to pushiness! The dueling ring's no place for mushiness!

Peter: But I really must wonder if this here attacker is signed with any particular backer. His rhythm is quick, his aim is precise, and each of his wind-ups is strong and concise. And though it may seem he plays but recreationally, I've no doubt he'd make excellent money vocationally.

Chris: Should we make him an offer"

Peter: I doubt he'd accept.

Chris: A shame; he wouldn't be the first, I expect.

- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. JB/FL 3-0 Scotty. -

Scotty: Well, not quite....he snatches Harold's wrist and drags him in for a much more serious kiss. He'll explain that, too, if Harold wants.

Lee: Kisses are better than explanations. Oh yes. He uses his free hand to bury in Scotty's hair, returning that kiss quite....er, intently. Yes. That's the gentle word for it. Probably makes a bit of a pleased noise, too.

Peter: Chris, what are you doing"

Chris: Averting my eyes. I'd rather watch dueling.

Peter: That's no big surprise. But while you looked away you missed the spark of genius before they kissed. Scotty moved like his arms weren't attached; he caught onto Lee and-

Chris: - Interrupting. - They're evenly matched. Though I must correct you on an error you made. Earlier you called him a kind of jack-of-all-trades. But the word "handy" you used was only half-true; he seems much handsier to me, thank you.

- End footage Round 5. Roll footage Round 6. LB/SW 3-0+ Scotty. -

Scotty: He goes to try to steal another of those kisses, only to find the way blocked.

Chris: FINALLY someone is wisening up. It's too bad it looks like The Scot's slip-up. But if I see just one more kiss, I swear to Thor"

Peter: - Interrupting. - Calm down, Chris. It's just a state of fun they're keeping. I'd rather see this than whining or weeping.

Chris: Oh my god. That was ONE TIME!

Peter: Careful, Chris. You forgot to rhyme.

- End footage Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. JB/SpK 3-1 Scotty. -

Scotty: He misguesses that Harold would try another defensive move, and ends up tagged for the point. Beams some, too.

Lee: No clocking! Never any clocking. Just gentle tagging. There should never ever ever be marks on Scotty ever that weren't put there lovingly, as far as Harold is concerned.

Peter: Seems like Lee is on his way to earning back-

Chris: - Interrupting. - MAKE HIM PAY!

Peter: Can you please stop doing that' I had that one.

Chris: By god, could it be you're having fun"

Peter: Not precisely; I don't really seem to get it. But interrupt me again, and I swear you'll regret it.

- End footage Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8. SW/SW. 4-2 Scotty. -

Scotty: And he goes to try to steal a kiss from Harold, only to end up in a tangled heap of legs. And that sets him off giggling — he can guess the psychology there, because he had the same psychology. So, he leans over and just takes a quick, giggly kiss.

Lee: He gives it right back, with a flicked tease of bottom lip, just because. Laughing.

Chris: THOR! LET ME AT 'EM! I'll pin 'em in combat!

Peter: Begging your pardon, but I think that they'd like that. Though in this round I really do like how-

Chris: - Interrupting. - They need stress in their relationship. I'm certain that- OW!

- End footage Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. CH/CH 5-3 Scotty. -

Scotty: He goes for a shoulder-tag, and finds his tagged in turn. It gets him the win, though, and he laughs some. "Mirrors we are."

Peter: As happy and dazzled as I am for our Lee, I'm more pleased in the skill in The Scot that I see. Though it seems in this match he rather held back, I've no doubt he'd impress if he picked up the slack. His body's quite fast, and while he's not bad at Fists, I'd kill to see swords at the ends of his wrists.

- Camera returns to the studio. Both men smile at the camera. -

Chris: I think I need to stab some intern. If all else to prove that I'm manly and stern.

Peter: I'm willing to bet it'll take more than some rage to make people forget the Cosmopolitan stage.

Chris: A bet' Funny you say that. Unless I'm mistaken, that's how you got into this-

Peter: - Interrupting. - Your point is well taken. So on that note, we'll have to tell you all good night. And remember to write us to cover a fight. For all of us here at the sports column and Post, I'm Peter Pham, your humble dueling host!

Chris: And I'm Chris Reed, thanks for tuning in!

Peter: Until next time, stay sporty, RhyDin!

- End tape. -