Topic: Fists Showcase Match: Sartan vs. Matthews

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-09-13 15:02 EST
RhyDin Sports

http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/57423440.jpg Sports Columnist: Peter Pham

Fists Showcase Match: Sartan vs. Matthews, September 11 September 13, 2010

Attention RhyDin:

Recorded copies of the Fists showcase duel between Sarah Matthews and Sartan are now available for purchase at the RhyDin Post for eight dollars or five copper. Please make check or money orders payable to the Post, and include your name and mailing address on the request form. Footage is available in dvd or holodisk form, and includes commentary by everyone's favorite Sports Guy Peter Pham, and retired dueler Chris Reed. Shipping and handling fees not included in price of purchase.

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-09-13 15:07 EST
- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a brand new, renovated high-tech news studio with several flat screen television sets, projected RhyDin Post Sports hologram images, and in-action moving images of famous dueling legends projected on a few walls. At the bottom of a modern, massive, glass-covered black granite and mahogany desk are scrolling digital scores from the latest matches in the Outback, Arena, Twilight Isle, and Annex. Two men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a black suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a navy pinstripe suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. Both men, equipped with headsets, smile at the camera. -

Peter: How's it going, RhyDin" I'm Peter Pham, sports columnist!

Chris: And I'm Krispy Kreme. I mean Chris Reese's. I mean rocky road. Raisins. Rib eye steak!

Peter: Thanks for tuning in with us this evening. As you can see, we're back in our fantastic new studio, complete with state-of-the-art scoring technology and plush leather seats!

Chris: Wha" Hmmm' Mmgrrhh"

Peter: You'll have to excuse my colleague, folks. Poor Chris here hasn't eaten is six hours.

Chris: Did you say flours" Are you baking something"

Peter: No, Chris.

Chris: Because if you were, I totally wouldn't hold it against you if you wanted to give me something.

Peter: Just get Lenny to bring you some coffee cake or something.

Chris: - Grumbles. - I can't do that. I'm on this new diet so I can go down a weight class and make a comeback.

Peter: You" A comeback" I'd pay to see that happen.

Chris: I'll take payment in the form of cookies and pound cake.

Peter: If you're on a diet, then quit complaining.

Chris: I can't help it, Pete! I'm so hungry! I could eat this pretty new desk.

Peter: Please don't do that. I don't even want to know how much it cost.

Chris: You think I can digest granite"

Peter: I'd rather not talk about your intestines at the moment. If it's alright with you, I'd prefer to shift gears and give our viewers a heads-up about our latest policies.

Chris: I know. No more explosive or flammable materials permitted within the RhyDin Post Sports Center building anymore. You made that clear enough the first six times you told me.

Peter: Not our policies, Chris. Our policies. - Makes a broad gesture that includes the camera. -

Chris: - Giving him a blank stare. - You lost me.

Peter: About the updates"

Chris: Oh, right! Well since some of our episodes have been found streaming on public airwaves, we've decided to go ahead and include a few scores and the latest challenge news now and again.

Peter: That's right, folks. So while it is unfortunate that we can't cover every challenge we'd like to, that doesn't mean everyone shouldn't know about them.

Chris: Oh, oh! Can I read the first one, can I"!

Peter: I don't see why not. - Passes a document over to Chris. -

Chris: Well, my RhyPeeps, it looks like we've got a new Archmage hanging his hat in the Celestial Tower! This past Thursday Vincent Smith and Mur Ollavan threw down in some snazzy ring thirty minutes late. Wow. Thirty minutes late" You'd think magicky people would be more punctual.

Peter: Not everyone can be as responsible as you, Chris. - Sarcastically. -

Chris: Gee, thanks, Pete! The challenge concluded in just two matches, leaving the key with Ollavan. I'm sure you'll all join me in welcoming him back!

Peter: Next we have on the list was a challenge match for IceDancer on September eighth. Word has it things were pretty tense during that particular challenge, but while Matthew Simon may not have been in the best of moods that evening, he certainly wasn't off his game.

Chris: Matt Simon is never off his game, Pete. Ever.

Peter: Right' well it took the Blue Opal holder only two matches to secure a win against Tasslehofl Momus, and keep IceDancer all to himself.

Chris: I hope he doesn't keep that Opal in his pocket. It might make certain things cold.

Peter: And moving right along to Swords, we had several interesting happenings. We'll go ahead and start things off with the Baronies. Dragon's Gate was under attack the eleventh by Vincent Smith. In a one-match format and only ten rounds, Baroness Teagan Rielea defended her title.

Chris: It was pretty tense there for a while, Pete, I'll tell you what. Smith had the lead there for quite a few rounds, but Rielea caught up hot on his heels at the end.

Peter: You just never know how some of these things will turn out, do you?

Chris: And the last totally ridiculous - and by ridiculous, I mean ridiculously awesome!....totally ridiculous challenge, which, of course, was the Overlord challenge on the tenth against Wyheree Ravenlock.

Peter: Now that was an interesting turn of events, to say the least.

Chris: It sure was, Pete. Against all odds, Imp decided to let Harris "Hellraiser" D'Artainian execute the Test of Worthiness against the challenger. And because Wyh is a classy lady, she didn't dirty her hands with him' at first!

Peter: That's right. As it turns out, Ravenlock designated Xenograg as her champion. But it only took nine rounds for that match to conclude in D'Artainian's favor.

Chris: Which brought us back to Ravenlock. And while it looked for a while that Ravenlock had a win in the bag, D'Artainian pulled the carpet right out from under her and earned Imp's seventh defense! That has to be some kind of record, doesn't it"

Peter: If it isn't, it likely will be very soon. Against all odds, Imp is proving to be quite the challenge to unseat. And just a few more things before we jump into our fight coverage, folks. A couple of announcements: The Fall Warlord Tournament, to be held on the twenty-sixth of September, is currently taking participants, so make sure to submit an entrance form or apply at the bulletin board.

Chris: You can read that one.

Peter: I thought we were taking turns"

Chris: Yeah, but I don't want to read that one.

Peter: Oh' kay' And it looks like the Old Temple and Baroness Maria Graziano are under challenge by Aya Hayashibara, with a date to be decided. So when it does, make sure to get out and show your support!

Chris: It's such a love-hate relationship there, Pete. On the one hand, I do love me some Graziano. But on the other hand, I don't feel like dying this month. Maybe next month.

Peter: Not in the mood to die yet, eh"

Chris: It's just one of those things.

Peter: Well that wraps it up for our announcements. Sorry to keep you all waiting! Now without dragging it out any further, we'd like to bring your attention to a fabulous match between Sartan"

Chris: - Interrupting. - Another one of my favorites!

Peter: " and Sarah Matthews, an up-and-coming fighter.

Chris: Hey, she's pretty cute.

Peter: Any other observations about Matthews that don't pertain to her looks"

Chris: Only that I've heard she's a pretty all-around fighter. It looks like we'll have to see how she fares, though, doesn't it?

Peter: I suppose we will.

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-09-13 15:08 EST
- Roll footage Round 1. FL/JB 1-0 Matthews.-

Matthews: Her knee goes to his gut as she swings his wrist around and tosses him on up.

Sartan: Sends a lazy attempt at a shove towards Sarah and promptly gets deposited on his back.

Peter: Now there's a truly excellent way of starting out a match.

Chris: Excellent' He was a little slow coming out of the gates there, Pete. Matthews was quick to show him she isn't just a pretty face. Get on your game, man! Sluggishly is no way to fight a match.

- End footage Round 1. Roll footage, Round 2 and 3. JK/JK 1-0 Matthews; SnK/JB 1 All. -

Sartan: This attempt at a shove is less lazy than the first but is still only lightly directed at Sarah's shoulder.

Matthews: Snaps her leg up to pause. Hops back at the shove.

Chris: Oh, I get it, I get it. Sartan isn't into hitting women.

Peter: It took you this long to figure that out"

Chris: Lack of carbohydrates, Pete. My brain isn't functioning normally.

Peter: Really' With all the junk you ate before, then, you should have been a rocket scientist.

Chris: It's still on my to-do list. I do like how centered Sartan is here, though, even if he isn't exercising all of his potential.

Peter: I like how you used the word "centered," Chris. Because I'd like to point that out, if that's O.K. with everyone. Andrew" Can we get a close-up"

- Zoom in on a stillframe of Sartan's wind-up. Frame-by-frame, the viewer is guided through the execution of his attack. -

Peter: If you'll notice here, even though he isn't using that much force, all of the control still comes from his center.

Chris: What our friend Pete here means is, even when he half-a**es his attacks, he still comes off being a bad-a**.

Peter: Not quite. I only meant to point out that in an accomplished fighter, no matter how much force is exerted, the control should always come from the center of your frame.

Chris: Did you say flame" What are you cooking"

- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. UC/FL 2-1 Matthews. -

Matthews: Warms up her arm annnnnddd flick right at the nose.

Sartan: "Hey hey." Jerking his head back. "No unprotected shots at the nose, thank you."

Chris: Didn't take much effort for her to get right in there, did it' Sartan, my man, I admire and appreciate you, but it's not like you to underestimate your opponent' even if she is a smokin' hot redhead.

Peter: You're just gunning for another sexual harassment lawsuit, Chris. But I'm going to disagree with you, there. Just because Sartan isn't using his full potential, it doesn't mean he's underestimating his opponent.

Chris: Like putting a sprinter on ice and telling him to run a marathon, huh"

Peter: Something like that. Although I wouldn't discount Matthews's talent, either. Maybe she's just quicker than she seems.

- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. SW/JB 2 All. -

Matthews: Sweeps and flops.

Sartan: A quick step forward as his right hand again seeks to push Sarah away.

Chris: Oh I love seesaw matches like this! Keeps the anticipation high!

Peter: And there you have it, anyway. There is the Sartan we know and love, with extraordinarily accurate and precise footing that carries him in faster than the speed of gravity.

Chris: I'm telling you, Pete. If he doesn't have a sponsor, he needs one. This guy would be rooooolling in the dough in no time. " Mmmm' doughnuts"

- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6. SnK/FL 3-2 Matthews. -

Matthews: Brings her leg up and kick stopped short of his shoulder.

Sartan: An indecisive reach towards her presents an open target.

Peter: Speaking of control" that was a beautiful stop by Matthews. Perfectly balanced, too. She has an odd technique, though. She's a lot more rigid than other fighters I've seen....Although I'm not necessarily sure that's a bad thing.

Chris: Like a bundle of matchsticks, that one. She needs to eat a butter croissant.

Peter: Eating vicariously, now"

Chris: You have no idea. I'm a little more concerned about my man Sartan, though. What's it going to take to light a fire under this guy's a-uh' backside" Am I going to have to throw Ravenlock in a ring there with him"

Peter: - Low whistle. - Oh-ho' low blow, Chris. Low blow. You will get hell for that one, I'm sure.

Chris: All I'm saying is I'd like a little bit of enthusiasm. You don't participate in a sport because you have to. You do it because you want to!

- End footage Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. JB/FaDU 3 All. -

Matthews: Jabs her fist out and swings overhead.

Sartan: Weaves his upper body to evade the punch, content to take a few steps away afterwards without any counter.

Chris: Speaking of low, though, down and up he goes like a spring! Man. That would have been the perfect opportunity for a counter, were he facing anyone else.

Peter: Quiet down and eat one of your sugar-free hard candies, Chris. Sartan is teaching us a very valuable lesson here - that you don't need brute strength in order to be an accomplished fighter.

Chris: I can't. They're all gone.

Peter: What is" The candy"

Chris: Yes.

Peter: Chris. I gave you a bag of sixty ten minutes ago.

Chris: I can't help it. They were maple-flavored. You know how I get about maple.

Peter: - Sighs. -

- End footage Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8. FAB/SW 4-3 Sartan. -

Sartan: Uses the flat of his shoe to essentially try and prod at Sarah's leg.

Matthews: Braces the wrong way.

Chris: About time we see a lead for this guy. I was beginning to worry.

Peter: I am very pleased with how quickly he caught that, though. It was almost a feint, you see"

Chris: Almost. Just goes to show you how far misdirection can go in a match like this. You throw your opponent off with the slightest look or gesture, and it can cost you not only a point, but a lead.

- End footage Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. JK/SnK 4 All. -

Sartan: Once again tries to prod at Sarah, this time with much less success.

Matthews: Jumps her leg up and kicks out, breezing past him, but giving him a start.

Peter: Oh, wow! Matthews is getting more and more impressive, isn't she" She certainly has springs built into her knees. But again, we see that stiffness in her technique. I actually think it may work for her.

Chris: Mmummfff-rrr"

Peter: Chris" Stop chewing on your blazer.

Chris: Wool doesn't taste that bad, you know.

Peter: What do you think of that superb kick by Matthews"

Chris: She's quick and she's flighty. I'll give you that. But as much as I like sudden death, I'd like to see Sartan keep a better lead on his opponent.

Peter: So much for being unbiased. I think I'm going to stick with Matthews here. Sometimes the new talent is where your eyes should be.

- End footage Round 9. Roll footage, Round 10. FL/JB 5-4 Matthews. -

Matthews: Sends him on a spin and nearly faints. "Emerald, here I come."

Sartan: His attempt at another shove finds itself turned away and he flashes Sarah a quick smile. "Good win, I'll have to catch you again when you do hit Emerald."

Peter: High aspirations, I see! But with a bright new star, you never know!

- Camera returns to the studio, where Chris has acquired several bags and boxes of cookies, crackers, chips, pastries, and cold meats. He pulls a chocolate chip cookie out of a box, layers it with sliced ham, Cheez Whiz, marshmallow cr"me, and Teddi Grahams, then squishes it together with a cracker on top. He shoves the whole thing in his mouth. -

Peter: Chris" What are you doing"

Chris: Mmrrrhsruffffn.

Peter: I'm sorry. I don't speak junk food.

Chris: - Swallows and picks up the Cheez Whiz can, shaking it. - What's it look like? I'm eating my feelings.

Peter: Chris. It was one loss for Sartan. And you should be proud of how wonderfully Matthews did.

Chris: Easy for you to say. - Leans back in his chair, puts the nozzle in his mouth, and sprays Cheez Whiz directly onto his tongue. -

Peter: Well. I happen to think they both did extraordinarily well! An excellent fight, the both of you!

Chris: Nobody will please me like you do.

Peter: Thank you, Chris.

Chris: Not you, Pete. I was talking to this bear claw. - Shoves the entire doughnut in his mouth. -

Peter: Right' Well, folks! As always, thanks very much for tuning in with us tonight. And remember. If there is a fight that you'd like covered, or some words you'd like to share, don't hesitate to write us! We love hearing from you! So until next time, I'm Peter Pham!

Chris: And I'm still hungry.

Peter: You stay sporty, RhyDin!

- End tape. -