- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a brand new, renovated high-tech news studio with several flat screen television sets, projected RhyDin Post Sports hologram images, and in-action moving images of famous dueling legends projected on a few walls. At the bottom of a modern, massive, glass-covered black granite and mahogany desk are scrolling digital scores from the latest matches in the Outback, Arena, Twilight Isle and Annex. Three men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a khaki suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a black suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. In the center (Pslyder) is in humanoid form, has spiky dark hair, and is sporting a denim jacket over a grey t-shirt, a gleaming silver tricetra pendant in plain view, and a mildly amused smile. All three men, equipped with headsets, smile at the camera. -
Peter: How's it going, RhyDin" I'm Peter Pham, sports columnist!
Chris: And I'm Chris Reed, and I am sooooo geeking out right now.
Peter: Thanks for tuning in with us! As you may have noticed, we happen to have a guest with us this evening. Those of you who frequent the Outback may already be familiar with him, but why don't you go ahead and introduce yourself"
Pslyder: Well, y"all might know me as Pslyder, though Ah"m told Ah've been called th' Tank on "eah a time"r two.
Chris: - Raises his hand energetically. - Ooh! Ooh! That was me! I totally made that up! Right here!
Peter: Chris" Take a Valium, and please behave for our guest. Now Pslyder, What have you been busying yourself with lately' I know we haven't had the opportunity to see you around the rings much!
Pslyder: Well, truth be told, Ah've been takin". . .y"might call it a vacation. But don' fret none, Ah'll be back inna rings b"fo' y"know it.
Chris: I sure hope so. Lord knows we need us some Tank now and again.
Peter: I understand you hosted the Panther's Claw this time around, didn't you? How did that go"
Pslyder: Went fairly smooth, las" Ah recall. Mur sure weren't takin" any prisoners, thaht's fer sure. "Ad a few new faces, but not a big turnout. Ah"m "opin" th' next"n turns out bigger, jus" fer mah own ego's sake. - Chuckle. -
Peter: Let's talk about you for a moment, while we have you here. How long have you been dueling"
Pslyder: In general, "bout seven-odd years now. But only "bout six in Fist fightin".
Peter: Do you prefer Fists over the other sports"
Pslyder: Well, Magic"n Ah don' get along too much, though Ah've "eld mah own theah. Ah've "ad too many weapons ovah th' years t'really get a good solid feel fer Swords. But they ain" nothin" like a good knuckleduster.
Chris: I think I just fainted. Right then.
Peter: So you've been around the block for quite a while, then. Are there any particular duelists you know that you esteem more than others"
Pslyder: Hmmm. Well, knowin" mos" of th' ol" school duelists, it's "ard t"jus" pull one right outta th' air. But they is one who comes t"mind. Ah may not like 'im much, but y"cain" go knockin" "is skill. Thaht'd be th' Egyptian. Y"all pardon if"n Ah don' jus" come right on out an' say "is name. We ain" on such good terms, 'im an' Ah.
Peter: Ah, I see. Well you should have lunch with Chris sometimes. He is quite fond of that particular duelist, as well.
Chris: Can we" Seriously. Can we have lunch sometime" Please"
Pslyder: Might not be such a good idea theah, chummer. Ah tend t"eat mah lunch on th' "oof. If"n y"catch mah drift. But, if"n y"got th' stomach fer it, Ah think we c"n arrange somethin".
Peter: There you have it, Chris. Just don't go asking him for his autograph just yet.
Chris: That reminds me, though. Some of us at The Post are participating in the Fantasy Dueling League this year. If you had to pick three Fist fighters off the top of your head for your team, who would you pick"
Pslyder: Easy "nuff. Matt Simon, Kheldar Drasinia, an' "Arris D"artainian. Ah'd keep Jake Thrash in reserve, though. "E's a sneaky bugger. Good brewmeister, though.
Chris: - Throws his hands up and cheers. - Puh-heeeerfect segue!
Peter: What my colleague means to say is that we happen to have with us some footage from the latest IceDancer challenge between Matt Simon and Tasslehofl Momus, Psly. Would you be willing to help us out with a little commentary"
Pslyder: Sure thang. Null sheen, omae.
Chris: If I pretend I know what he said, will he still like me"
- Roll footage Round 1. SW/SW 1 All. -
Momus: He stepped in again, kicking out once more towards Matt's outer leg.
Simon: It's not the most watched challenge in history, but that didn't matter much; he went for Tass' legs.
Peter: Well, folks. You'll catch these two right here already in their second match of the challenge. And by the looks of things, either one or both is getting tired or frustrated.
Chris: Are you kidding" It looks like my man Simon is just getting ticked off and is showing Momus up in style. You break those kneecaps, man!
Pslyder: Well now. Ah "appen t"know firs"and thaht Tass ain" easy t"break. "E's kinda like a father figure t"me of late. But "eah, Ah"m seein" Matt start thangs off keepin" "isself in check. Startin" off like thaht, y"cut out all th' duckin" an' weavin" some folks like t"open up wit". Th' fact that Tass is thinkin" along th' same lines jus" keeps "em on even footing fer th' moment.
Peter: Great minds, eh"
Chris: Well I'm surprised to hear you start talking about mind games, Tank. In my experience, I've noticed that Momus spends a lot of his time doing just that. He's all about misdirection and playing largely on the defensive. And now you're telling me the exact opposite"
Pslyder: "Avin" fought Tass a time"r two, 'specially in this pas" Diamond Quest, "e ain" no slouch in th' thinkin" department. "Is main problem stems from a touch of temper. Y"get 'im frustrated, an' thaht's "alf yer fight won right theah.
Chris: Hang on, hang on. I've got to stop you again, there. From what I've seen, Momus is as stoic as they come.
Peter: Let me remind you, Chris, that you are observing his fighting style from an objective point of view. Pslyder has had the opportunity to get up close and personal.
Chris: Man. I really need to get out more.
Pslyder: - Chuckles. - Jus" wait. You'll see.
- End footage Round 1. Roll footage, Round 2. JB/FeSnK 2-1 Simon. -
Simon: Taking the opening when it's presented.
Momus: Is....clocked.
Chris: Ahhhh....this is why I love my man Simon. His jab is second to none in all of dueling history.
Peter: You'll have to excuse my colleague, Psly. Chris has a bit of a mancrush on Matthew Simon.
Pslyder: Yeah, Ah "eard all "bout thaht theah CrushBob thang.
Chris: You should totally start up your own team for Tour de RhyDin this year.
Pslyder: Think Ah'll take a pass on thaht. Ah still remembah th' Team Duelin" League. Whole lotta "eadaches theah. But, goin" back t' th' fight. Y'see "eah, "ow Tass is tryin" t'slip one by Matt' Matt's known fer thaht wicked back"and"a "is, an' fer frequently usin" it. Matt's showin" "is experience "eah, not fallin fer th' fakeout.
Peter: Sometimes all it boils down to is a keen eye when it comes to observing your opponent.
Chris: And he doesn't waste time, does he"
Pslyder: Thaht's definitely one thang Ah'll say about Matt. Wastin" time ain" in "is vocabulary.
Peter: Really' I thought he was a politician. Isn't that in their job description"
Pslyder: B"fo' thaht, "e flew fighter planes. Y"cain" really waste time when yer flyin". Trus" me on thaht"n.
