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Amelia Enderwood: Satirist
Information Circulation Campaign Taken to New Heights; Local man finds more important use for Town Square Bulletin Board June 3, 2010
According to a new research study done by some blatantly publicized non-specific institute, privacy is becoming less and less of a concern to RhyDin citizens.
With better press, successful information circulation, and larger wall cracks in which to stash and conceal fiber-optic recording devices and microphones, it seems security and isolation has become a thing of the past for buzzing socialites. Secluded, private RhyDinians are being forced to either go with the flow of remorseless, teeming information, or speak up for their rights.
"I find it very alarming how little care this town has for its privacy," Georgianna Lissid, 25, said. "Someone really ought to do something about it. I mean, for all I know someone could be perched up in a tree in my backyard, spying on me as I do my yoga. It makes me nervous just to think about it."
"Oh absolutely. Privacy is a very important factor when it comes to RhyDin's health and economy," agreed Lars Benson as he polished a pair of binoculars. "Where is RhyDin going to be ten years from now, when our deepest, darkest secrets are being circulated in the Marketplace by some town crier" I find it repulsive. People need to have some time to themselves every now and then; to know that they are safe."
Added Benson: "Now can you go away, please" She's about to start her yoga, and I don't want her to get suspicious."
Other RhyDinians are more than eager to take advantage of this new information circulation policy, brought about in small part by the latest knowledge-spreading campaign the new Governor is rapidly becoming known for.
Eric Morrisson, a local bartender, claims this pseudo-gubernatorial policy should be taken quite literally.
"The way I figure it," Morrisson, 38, said, "I am prestigious enough for people to want to know what I am doing every nineteen minutes or so. RhyFriends worked out great for that at first, but not everyone has access to technology. That's why I've started using the Town Square Bulletin Board to advertise my tedious, everyday activities. Just so, like, people know what?s going on with me, you know?"
Morrisson fully expects enormous response from the thirteen hundred fliers full of useless information he has already scattered - if anything else, in the form of tears brought about by the sheer, crippling mundanity of it all.
"What I'll do is I'll post this all over the place, right?" explained Morrisson as he attached a neon pink paper touting his latest dry-cleaning pickup to the door outside the Red Dragon Inn. "And then I'll just sit back and wait for people to come in and ask me about it. It makes me important, you know, advertising myself. I think everyone should start doing it."
According to Morrisson, he is not the only one to take advantage of this literal interpretation of information circulation.
"Driscol was absolutely right," commented Morrisson as he covered the inn's doorknobs with post-its regarding when he planned to brush his teeth that evening. "Everyone needs to know everything about everyone else, like, A.S.A.P."
Sources claim that other RhyDinians are more than happy to jump on this particular word-train, only as long as it involves sharing facts solely about themselves.
Added Morrisson later: "I just found a lucky penny. This is going to require a whole other trip to the printers."
]
Information Circulation Campaign Taken to New Heights; Local man finds more important use for Town Square Bulletin Board June 3, 2010
According to a new research study done by some blatantly publicized non-specific institute, privacy is becoming less and less of a concern to RhyDin citizens.
With better press, successful information circulation, and larger wall cracks in which to stash and conceal fiber-optic recording devices and microphones, it seems security and isolation has become a thing of the past for buzzing socialites. Secluded, private RhyDinians are being forced to either go with the flow of remorseless, teeming information, or speak up for their rights.
"I find it very alarming how little care this town has for its privacy," Georgianna Lissid, 25, said. "Someone really ought to do something about it. I mean, for all I know someone could be perched up in a tree in my backyard, spying on me as I do my yoga. It makes me nervous just to think about it."
"Oh absolutely. Privacy is a very important factor when it comes to RhyDin's health and economy," agreed Lars Benson as he polished a pair of binoculars. "Where is RhyDin going to be ten years from now, when our deepest, darkest secrets are being circulated in the Marketplace by some town crier" I find it repulsive. People need to have some time to themselves every now and then; to know that they are safe."
Added Benson: "Now can you go away, please" She's about to start her yoga, and I don't want her to get suspicious."
Other RhyDinians are more than eager to take advantage of this new information circulation policy, brought about in small part by the latest knowledge-spreading campaign the new Governor is rapidly becoming known for.
Eric Morrisson, a local bartender, claims this pseudo-gubernatorial policy should be taken quite literally.
"The way I figure it," Morrisson, 38, said, "I am prestigious enough for people to want to know what I am doing every nineteen minutes or so. RhyFriends worked out great for that at first, but not everyone has access to technology. That's why I've started using the Town Square Bulletin Board to advertise my tedious, everyday activities. Just so, like, people know what?s going on with me, you know?"
Morrisson fully expects enormous response from the thirteen hundred fliers full of useless information he has already scattered - if anything else, in the form of tears brought about by the sheer, crippling mundanity of it all.
"What I'll do is I'll post this all over the place, right?" explained Morrisson as he attached a neon pink paper touting his latest dry-cleaning pickup to the door outside the Red Dragon Inn. "And then I'll just sit back and wait for people to come in and ask me about it. It makes me important, you know, advertising myself. I think everyone should start doing it."
According to Morrisson, he is not the only one to take advantage of this literal interpretation of information circulation.
"Driscol was absolutely right," commented Morrisson as he covered the inn's doorknobs with post-its regarding when he planned to brush his teeth that evening. "Everyone needs to know everything about everyone else, like, A.S.A.P."
Sources claim that other RhyDinians are more than happy to jump on this particular word-train, only as long as it involves sharing facts solely about themselves.
Added Morrisson later: "I just found a lucky penny. This is going to require a whole other trip to the printers."
]