Topic: KNOCK Next Time!

Darien Fenner

Date: 2009-12-13 16:26 EST
"Where the heck did you get this?"

Emmet Bane stared wide-eyed at the poster a mousy junior columnist had handed him. There it was. Or rather, there he was: Looking magnificently handsome.

Then again, it was a wanted poster.

"Off the bulletin board. They're all over, Mr. Bane," replied his junior, wary.

"Any press is good press," Bane grumbled, feigning nonchalance.

"Do you know who put it out?" asked the gangly columnist, crossing his arms expectantly.

"I have my suspicions." After all, how could he not' The "It Man' flashed a wild grin at his junior, crumpled up the poster, and dumped it into the wastepaper basket. "If it sells, it sells, kid. And believe you me, that issue sold out all over RhyDin."

The columnist blinked, stunned. "You seriously don't care?"

Emmet let himself sniff derisively. "Not in the least. We done?" Brown eyes snapped to the bringer of bad news, who suddenly appeared all the more uncomfortable under the weight of Bane's apparent confidence. Was that a dismissal" It seemed like one. Quietly, the junior columnist turned around, and bashfully returned to the Post's bullpen with his tail between his legs.

After a pregnant pause, the "It Man' peeked out of his office sneakily, his head at the level of his doorknob. As a bee-bopping, bubblegum chewing deliverygirl swooped by with a package, he snagged her sleeve. Staggering with surprise, the teenager regarded him over the bright pink bubble between her lips.

"Hey, kid. Want to make one hundred bucks?" Bane rumbled, pulling her into his office.

The girl traipsed in with little coercion. "Do I!" Glee lit her eyes behind retro glasses.

With a grumble, Emmet snatched the crumpled poster out of the bin and a fifty out of his pocket, shoving them into her hands. "I want you to go around, and take down any of these that you see."

The girl blinked. "Uh. Where?"

"Everywhere!" the "It Man' barked back, shooing her out of his office. "You'll get the other half when it's done!" he added, and then slammed the door shut behind her.

Turning around, the gossip columnist glared out the window of his spacious office. The sprawl of RhyDin business and miniature playset of townfolk and automobiles squirmed ten floors below him.

"Think you can own this city without a fight, do ya" Think you can muscle me out!" HA! I eat people like you for breakfast! Then I have a PowerBar afterwards, because I'm not even that full!"

The gruff "It Man' pounded his chest. "I laugh in the face of danger! Nothing scares me!" Manly, mocking laughter reverberated off the walls of his office.

Just then, the door behind him slammed open, letting in a long-legged senior columnist from the floor below. "Mr. Bane, I need your signature on—" Her words were cut off by the most high-pitched, feminine screech she had ever heard.

The woman spied her senior's head peeking up from behind his desk, where he had promptly hit the deck mid-squeal.

"Jesus, Anna. KNOCK!"

How to Drown a Copy Cat with thanks to Franco's player.]]