- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a brand new, renovated high-tech news studio with several flat screen television sets, projected RhyDin Post Sports hologram images, and in-action moving images of famous dueling legends projected on a few walls. At the bottom of a modern, massive, glass-covered black granite and mahogany desk are scrolling digital scores from the latest matches in the Outback, Arena, Twilight Isle and Annex. Two men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a black suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a gray suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. Both men, equipped with headsets, smile at the camera. -
Peter: How's it going, RhyDin" I'm Peter Pham, sports columnist!
Chris: - Screaming into a cell phone. " I am NOT Long Legs Lucy. I am Chris Reed. CHRIS REED.
Peter: Thanks for tuning in with us tonight! Since not much is going on in the Arena until the WLT and the Summer Talon, we've decided to bring you a challenge match from the Outback, featuring none other than-
Chris: - Interrupting, still talking loudly into his cell phone. " Will I do what" Wait' what is that' EW! No I will not do that!
Peter: Chris, we're kind of on air right now. Would you mind holding you calls until after we've filmed"
Chris: I can't help it, Pete. I got my number changed because the ex-wife kept calling and asking for the alimony check and now my phone has been ringing off the hook.
Peter: Which ex" Lanie or Elyse" Or Sonya"
Chris: Which was the one with the frinkly toe"
Peter: That was Elyse.
Chris: Right. Not her.
Peter: Why is your phone ringing off the hook, though' Did they figure out your new number"
Chris: Actually, I think my number must be the old number for some kind of call girl service. Johns keep ringing and asking me to arrange" things.
Peter: Things" What kinds of things"
Chris: Let's just say they're not NOT things I have asked frinkly-toed Sonya for in the past.
Peter: Elyse.
Chris: Whatever. - His phone rings, and he picks up. " I"M NOT A WOMAN!
Peter: Thank you for ironing that out with us, Chris. Now if it's alright with you, I'd like to go ahead and get to our challenge match for the Pathfinder between Harris D"Artainian and Sarah Matthews.
Chris: - Still on the phone. " Hold on a second. - Holding it out to Peter. " Hey, Pete, you want to field some of these calls for me" Some of these guys sound pretty gay.
- Roll footage, Round 1 and 2. FaDO/FaDO 0 All; FaAB/FaLP 0 All. "
D"Artainian: He's on the move right from the start, shuffling his feet in an effort to find a superior angle of approach. He flinches, which leads to a hopstep backward.
Matthews: Braces, still observing her opponent.
Peter: Now I think a little context is in order, here. Important to note is the fact that while D"Artainian did win the match before this, Matthews won the first match in the challenge by two whole points and in only ten rounds. So I hold nothing against D"Artainian that he is playing the first couple of rounds cautiously.
Chris: Being able to gauge his opponent is part of what makes D"Artainian and excellent duelist. It's not his first rodeo, Pete. - Pause. " No, I wasn't talking to you! Is your name Pete" It is" Well I wasn't talking to you, so' Look, I don't know who gave you this number, but I do not have access to any women. Well, I do have access to women. Tons of women. But that's not what I" Well thank you, I think you have a very nice voice, also. It's kind of gritty, but not in an unattractive way.
Peter: And he wonders why his wives divorced him.
Chris: - Continuing. - Why yes, I do work out, thank you for asking!
- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3 and 4. FL/FL 0 All; FaAB/FaDO 0 All. "
D"Artainian: He eases into grappling range, but he can't get any leverage at all, eventually opting to simply push away with a grunt. Needlessly burning more energy as he circuits the ring, clucking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.
Chris: Man, I've heard of playing the field, but this is ridiculous.
Peter: You're talking to me now"
Chris: Actually, I'm talking to that greased cowlick you call hair. - Ring. " DANG IT.
Peter: I'll have to agree with you on the ridiculous sentiment, at least. Usually in this situation I would suggest that the reason for all this aimless grappling has to do with the energy deficit these two are facing by the third match of a challenge. But in all respects, Matthews has a much higher stamina than that.
Chris: Definitely. Her stamina has gotten her out of more than one tough spot. - Pause. " What' No, I didn't mean that kind of stamina, though I'm sure her stamina in that sense is pretty dang good, too. Huh' Oh, about five four, one twenty, pretty face, but' I don't know, let me ask. - Pause. " Hey, Pete" Do you think Matthews would be into S&M"
- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. SW/JB 1-0 D"Artainian. "
D"Artainian: He opts to take the initiative and his hips torque, windmilling a heavy overhand right toward the crown of Sarah's skull.
Matthews: Goes down and finds herself taking a hit.
Peter: You have to wonder now if those past few rounds were all a simple calculation on D"Artainian's part. By widening the circuit around Matthews, D"Artainian forced her into a running onslaught and in so doing was able to glean an opening. Very smooth. Very smooth, indeed.
Chris: I wouldn't put it past D"Artainian, but Matthews has just that same kind of mentality, and I am willing to bet she will move quickly to exploit the opening she has just created as well.
- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6. JK/CH 1 All. "
Matthews: Another feline like pounce and kick right for Harris' head.
D"Artainian: He follows up with a short elbow, but the leaping kick that collides with him from such close range knocks him backward and all the way off his feet, and he rolls awkwardly with the momentum until he stops on a knee.
Chris: Did I tell you? I so told you. Matthews doesn't have that Fists record for nothing.
Peter: I am all the more impressed with her agility and minimal response time. In the split second that D"Artainian was preparing a follow-up attack, she rebounded with " not just any kick " but a high kick. It's like she defies the laws of gravity.
Chris: You know, even in another life I'm willing to bet she'd be into the stuff that guy was asking for. Or that furry crud.
Peter: Furry"
Chris: Oh come on. Like you don't know what furry is.
Peter: Not that I'm aware of, no.
Chris: " Well I don't either.
- End footage Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. JB/FaDO 2-1 D"Artainian. "
Matthews: Her fist lashes out and misses, allowing her to get caught in his backlash.
D"Artainian: He waits for her to come to him this time, only to veer out of the line of fire and throw a digging body hook toward her kidney in a crisp counter.
Chris: But for every bit as impressive as Matthews can be, here is where D"Artainian really shines. What I've always liked about him is while there is some overlap between sports, D"Artainian really has perfected his technique down to an art. Matthews's landing is very sloppy here. Recognizing this, D"Artainian is quick to steer her right into his trap " a habit of his that extends into his Swords career.
Peter: And yet his form isn't quite as fluid as it is in Swords here. I see what you mean.
Chris: Exactly. - Ring. " What' Listen, buddy, if I had access to that I probably would never leave my dressing room and certainly wouldn't be here talking to you.
Peter: What else is new.
Chris: Hold on a second. - Pause. " Hey, Pete, don't forget to wind your watch.
Peter: What' Why"
Chris: You know. I wouldn't want you to miss any sleep on account of gaylight savings time.
- End footage Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8. FaDO/JB 2 All. "
Matthews: Pulls back out of the way and whips her leg out in retaliation, hitting his kidney in return as she growls.
D"Artainian: He steps in, closing the distance for another strike only to find himself victimized in a similar fashion, a short laugh escaping as she makes contact, blood dribbling from his lips.
Peter: Oh, very nice. Quick thinking and action for Matthews to take advantage of D"Artainian's shift in footing here. I'm sure you or I have said this before, but her strength definitely lies in her legs. Don't you agree, Chris" Chris"
Chris: - Rambling. " Listen, I really don't handle that kind of thing. - Pause. - Hey, I'm not playing hardball here, O.K." I'm simply' Wait, how much' And all they have to do is show up at that address and bring the handcuffs" Alright, consider it done. - Pause. " Hey, Pete, I got you a date for Friday.
- End footage Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. FaDO/JB 3-2 D"Artainian. "
Matthews: Growls as she's unable to strike again.
D"Artainian: There's no real limit to his brutality, and when he evades Sarah's straight punch a second time it's the heel of his foot that shoots outward toward her kidney this time in a debilitating side thrust kick.
Chris: I'm sorry. You were talking about Matthews's strength' I definitely think D"Artainian can teach her a thing or two from that exchange. I think I'll call that move the Nephron Neutralizer.
Peter: If you've watched our show before you know that Chris and I are constantly harping on being able to adapt to an opponent's particular technique or pace. Since Matthews here has about a half second delay before her upper-body shots, it's easy to see how well D"Artainian can readjust his own timing and execute an effective counterattack.
Chris: Absolutely. It's almost as if - Ring! " Oh, bloody hell. WHAT"
Peter: Chris, if you'll just turn off your phone"
Chris: Hang on a second" G"nort' Is that you? - Pause. " Huh. They hung up.
- End footage Round 9. Roll footage, Round 10. SnK/FaLP 4-2 D"Artainian. "
Matthews: Her leg is out, leaving her open as he bounds over it.
D"Artainian: He's still got considerable spring in his step even this late in the challenge and once he reaches the apex of his leap, successfully clearing Sarah's midlevel kick, he comes crashing down with a vertical kick of his own that careens toward her shoulderblade.
Matthews: There's a pop as that kick lands, but even as Sarah stumbles back she bites her tongue as she rolls her shoulder, effectively, for now, popping it back in place.
Peter: That one sure looked like it hurt.
Chris: I'll say. That kick of D"Artainian's had force that would rival The Tank's.
Peter: Even more impressive is how quickly he is able to navigate around Matthews's attack, displaying just about the same " if not more " amount of agility that she herself exhibited earlier in this match.
Chris: It reminds me a little bit of that scene from that one movie where that guy copies something. - Ring! "
Peter: Way to be specific, Chris.
Chris: Hello' May I ask who's calling" Elyse" ELYSE!" How did you get this number"! I mean' that is" Uh' No, I don't know any Chris Reed. My name is" Miss" F'reed" What do I do' I uh' arrange entertainment for lonely men.
Peter: If you ask me, that came to you a little too quickly.
Chris: Shut up. - Pause. " No, not you. Yes, lonely and bored men. - Pause. - No, I have not received any calls from a Chris Reed, but if I do I'll be sure to' I'm sure with you it wasn't THAT bad" - Pause. " WELL SOME PEOPLE CAN"T JUST TURN IT ON LIKE A LIGHT, YOU KNOW.
- End footage Round 10. Roll footage, Round 11. FaDO/SpK 5-2 D"Artainian. "
D"Artainian: A half step forward and his feet shuffle, then a full rotation of his body from the stable base of his pivot leg and that kick shears through the air in a wide arc, rounding high to make clean contact with Sarah's skull before her feet can carry her too far.
Matthews: Sarah pulls back, but at the sight of what Harris is doing both those big golden eyes go wide. She has little time to brace for impact, she finds herself barreled down in one big THUMP. For a moment or two she's dazed, very dazed, but she rolls to the side, coughs again, painting the mat red before she climbs up on unsteady feet.
Peter: Holy heck. For this late in his third match, D"Artainian sure can sum up a heck of a lot of power. Poor Matthews didn't even see that one coming.
Chris: What I particularly liked was that little shuffle at the outset of his move combination. It savors a little bit of boxing footing in that it keeps a fighter light on his feet. But employing it here definitely has the potential to mix up an opponent " as we see here. - Ring!
- Camera returns to the studio, where Chris is holding his phone to his ear. "
Peter: All in all, it was a pretty solid defense by D"Artainian, and seeing as this is attempt number two by Matthews, I have a feeling that it won't be the last time we see the two of them throw down.
Chris: - Speaking into the phone. " Do I own what"
Peter: And seeing as my colleague is preoccupied at the moment, let me just take this time to remind you that the Talon will be on September first, and the Warlord Tournament on August twenty-eighth. That'll do it for us tonight, though, so from all of us at the Post, I'm Peter Pham!
Chris: - Still into his phone. " AND I AM NOT A WOMAN!
Peter: You stay sporty, RhyDin!
- End tape. ?
