http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/Smilingwomanwithcrossedarmsuid11-1.jpg
Amelia Enderwood: Satirist
RhyDin is Despotic and Tyrannical, Local Serial Killer Says July 29, 2010
Enraged by alleged unfair treatment by the RhyDin Watch, Matt Maury the Chainsaw Murderer denounced RhyDin today as a "state imbued with tyrannical despotism" after unconfirmed charges of manslaughter were brought against him by a Watch constable.
"Seriously. The whole government is fascist," charged Maury as he relaxed in the Red Dragon Inn, weapon of choice humming idly in his lap. "These fools are just looking for an excuse to go all power-crazy and boss people around in here."
According to witnesses, Maury's charges were dropped soon after they were raised by Watch Officer Arrak Nidd.
"Well, I was thinking about arresting him," said Nidd, buffing his nails on his uniform. "But then I figured, well, all those bloodied, dismembered limbs could just as easily have been there when he arrived. Nothing wrong with that."
"They ain't welcome in here, those Watching peoples," huffed Red Dragon Inn regular, Freya Feiht, as she stuffed an entire cash register under her shirt. "It's not like we needs people baby sitting us or nothing."
"This gig is kind of boring me, anyway," continued Nidd. "The uniform is kind of cool, but I get annoyed when people don't fall all over themselves in fear and reverence."
Added Nidd: "I think I'll quit and go back to being a slaver. People actually looked at me then. Nowadays, if I wear the uniform, I look at someone, and it seems like they're going to impale me on a spike, remove my organs, and water their flowerbeds with my blood."
"One more Watch weenie looks at me the wrong way," asserted Maury matter-of-factly, "I'm going to impale them with a spike, remove their organs, and water my flowerbeds with their blood."
In related news, The Watch is investigating the mysterious apparent sawing-and-de-limbing curse in and around the Red Dragon Inn. Patrons are urged to watch their body parts for any obvious signs of removal.*
*Certain facts in the above article have been fabricated for the sake of satire.
]
RhyDin is Despotic and Tyrannical, Local Serial Killer Says July 29, 2010
Enraged by alleged unfair treatment by the RhyDin Watch, Matt Maury the Chainsaw Murderer denounced RhyDin today as a "state imbued with tyrannical despotism" after unconfirmed charges of manslaughter were brought against him by a Watch constable.
"Seriously. The whole government is fascist," charged Maury as he relaxed in the Red Dragon Inn, weapon of choice humming idly in his lap. "These fools are just looking for an excuse to go all power-crazy and boss people around in here."
According to witnesses, Maury's charges were dropped soon after they were raised by Watch Officer Arrak Nidd.
"Well, I was thinking about arresting him," said Nidd, buffing his nails on his uniform. "But then I figured, well, all those bloodied, dismembered limbs could just as easily have been there when he arrived. Nothing wrong with that."
"They ain't welcome in here, those Watching peoples," huffed Red Dragon Inn regular, Freya Feiht, as she stuffed an entire cash register under her shirt. "It's not like we needs people baby sitting us or nothing."
"This gig is kind of boring me, anyway," continued Nidd. "The uniform is kind of cool, but I get annoyed when people don't fall all over themselves in fear and reverence."
Added Nidd: "I think I'll quit and go back to being a slaver. People actually looked at me then. Nowadays, if I wear the uniform, I look at someone, and it seems like they're going to impale me on a spike, remove my organs, and water their flowerbeds with my blood."
"One more Watch weenie looks at me the wrong way," asserted Maury matter-of-factly, "I'm going to impale them with a spike, remove their organs, and water my flowerbeds with their blood."
In related news, The Watch is investigating the mysterious apparent sawing-and-de-limbing curse in and around the Red Dragon Inn. Patrons are urged to watch their body parts for any obvious signs of removal.*
*Certain facts in the above article have been fabricated for the sake of satire.
]