- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a high-tech news studio with flat screen television sets, and a massive, glossy black desk. Two men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a navy blue suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a khaki suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. Both men smile at the camera. -

Peter: How's it going, RhyDin. I'm Peter Pham, sports columnist.

Chris: And I'm Chris Reed, ex-dueler.

Peter: Welcome to the RhyDin Post's coverage of Sinjin Fai's Showcase Showdown. Chris and I have been enlisted to bring you a play-by-play of some of the most popular pairings this holiday season.

Chris: I don't know if it's this whole season, Pete. But the Showcase certainly had some capable duelers.

Peter: Coming from a man who spent the better part of his life in the rings, that's saying something.

Chris: - Laughter - I suppose so.

Peter: Let's get right into it then. Our first match was the Swords Showcase, with Maria Graziano vs. G"nort Dragoon-Talandor.

Chris: Both of these competitors have held baronies at some point, so it's safe to say they know their way around the sharp end of a sword.

Peter: There's probably something to be said for being dressed to success"

- Image of Maria Graziano's getup. Cargo pants and zip-up jacket. -

Chris: This is why I like this woman. She's completely practical. You don't get all decked out when you're planning on bleeding!

- Image of G"nort Dragoon-Talandor's getup. Sequined robe over silver boxer shorts. -

Peter: Dragoon-Talandor, meanwhile had the look and swagger of a Hollywood star, with a human-elven entourage and tooth-achingly bright boxing garb. You think he was compensating for something"

Chris: I don't know about that, Pete. But since round one, G"nort's showboating seemed to bite him in the ass.

- Roll Footage Round 1. LC/TH. 0-1 Graziano. -

Graziano: "Why don't you just keep sittin' by the phone waitin' for that phone call" How 'bout that?" The bat is wiggled over Maria's back shoulder and then in a swift motion, she brings it around and locks her second hand on it. Her back foot pushes her body forward, shoving the fat end of the bat in towards G'nort's chest.

Close-up on Gnort's contorted expression as the hit connects.

Slow-down. Action replay.

Peter: Ouch! Hell hath no fury like a woman's scorn.

Chris: See, at this point he should have been running for the hills. This woman carries a baseball bat. She means business.

- End footage from Round 1. -

Peter: Apparently Dragoon-Talandor needed to catch his breath after that wallop! He and Graziano spent the next two rounds dancing around each other mid-spat.

Chris: I wouldn't discount the fancy footwork, Pete. You can see what G"nort's trying to do here— he's trying to get a feel for Graziano's style tonight.

Peter: They're both veterans! No way has D.T. not figured her out already.

Chris: I wouldn't say so, Pete. Graziano seems like the kind of fighter who always has something new up her sleeve. Like here! BOOM! Not even giving the guy a chance!

- Roll footage of Round 4. LC/TH. 0-2 Graziano. -

Graziano: With the flip of a switch, she draws the bat back up battering ram style and shoves the bat in towards the same spot she had struck before.

Close-up on the hit, stopping G"nort mid-sentence.

- End footage Round 4. -

Chris: Seems to me like D.T. needs to spend less time chatting and more time reading his opponent.

Peter: It's what he does. How much are you willing to bet it's a distraction ploy' G"nort's been around the block a few times, Chris.

- Roll footage, Round 5. TH/HC. 1-2 Graziano. -

Dragoon-Talandor: Dips his shoulder now and drives the end of the Hammer in for blunt force trauma.

Graziano: First she's shoved backwards by his attack as hers sails harmlessly overheard. She coughs as she attempts to refill her lungs"

- End footage, Round 5. -

Chris: That had to hurt.

Peter: Payback is a b*tch.

- Roll footage, Round 6. LC/FDU. 2 all. -

Chris: DUCKING" You're ducking right into that one, Graziano! What the hell are you doing"

Peter: Looks like she misread that one, and paid for it.

- End footage, Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. SL/SS. 2-2.5 Graziano. -

Chris: But you want to talk about fancy footwork" Look at that beautiful dodge. She's a fricken" ballet dancer in the ring.

Peter: Uh-huh. A ballet dancer with a baseball bat.

Chris: I'd see that ballet! - Laughter. -

Peter: But realistically speaking, what was D.T. doing trying to get a slash in" Graziano is clearly receptive to the attack.

Chris: I saw an opening.

Peter: You just want to think you saw an opening.

Chris: Look. Right here!

- Close-up on previous round; slow-motion, white arrow is drawn onto the paused screenshot, pointing to Graziano's shoulder as she tries to get back up. -

Chris: He could have gotten in right here if he was quick enough, but Graziano's just a bit quicker. That woman's got skill.

Peter: Oh, get a room.

- Roll footage, Round 8. TH/SL. 3-2.5 Dragoon-Talandor. -

Graziano: She tries to go for #1 — making a point. However, clearly her point falls on deaf ears and she's left coughing in an attempt to refill her lungs once again.

Peter: Ouch. That woman is going to need to tape up her ribs once this is all done and over with.

Chris: How the hell did he get in under her" Graziano's way too quick.

Peter: You think they're taking notes from each other" I've seen this move before!

- End footage, Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. HC/LC. 4-3.5 Dragoon-Talandor.

Dragoon-Talandor: "Swings his Hammer to the shoulder, connecting as Bat leaves a dent the size of New Hampshire in his thigh.

Graziano: Fingers tighten on the handle end of the baseball bat as she takes a small step inward, rotating her hips and upper body around with the blow, was she takes the exchange to an exposed shoulder.

Chris: Agh! That had to hurt! Why in god's name would D.T. go high if he sees her coming"

Peter: It's genius, Chris. G"nort already knows he's a point ahead. No point in wasting a round blocking if her shoulder is exposed. So now he's at match point, despite the injury.

Chris: You say that, but she easily gains again. Look how she spends the next two rounds head-to-head with D.T. They're playing tug-of-war with the score!

- Roll footage, Round 10 and 11. FSS/HC. 4.5-4 Graziano; CP/LC. 4.5 all. -

Peter: I'll give you that, Chris. The great thing is that Graziano here is not being fazed. Even when her high misses, she just resets and goes in low. G"nort doesn't even see it coming.

- End footage, Round 11. Roll footage, Round 12. LC/TH. 4.5-5.5 Graziano. -

Peter: It's all over here. We've seen this combination at least three times in this particular duel, but it turns out that Graziano's got the upper hand.

White arrow is drawn on the screenshot to G"nort's crouching form.

Chris: See, he's still trying to recover from where she tagged him the last round. Graziano does not even give the guy a chance to get back up.

- End footage, Round 12. Screen returns to two gentlemen behind desk. -

Peter: So after twelve rounds, Graziano comes out the victor, trumping the requirement by half a point. Any thoughts on the fight there, Chris"

Chris: For the longest time, it looked like it was anyone's game. But let's face it. Graziano's a tempting, talented little spitfire. And I'd say Dragoon-Talandor should be looking into retirement. He's losing his touch.

Peter: Don't sell him short, Chris. D.T. is a master of the rings, and he keeps himself in awesome shape. I wouldn't be surprised if we saw him get another barony sometime soon.

Chris: Fine, but maybe he'll learn his lesson next time.

Peter: Lesson"

Chris: Never piss off a woman with a baseball bat.

- End tape 1. -

- Fade up on sports studio, where Peter and Chris have been having an entertaining discussion. They both look at the camera and smile. -

Peter: Welcome back, folks. And now we're on to our last and most exciting duel of the night. The Showcase for Fists pits Koyliak Simon vs. her husband, Governor Matt Simon.

Chris: Why do I have a feeling this could end very, very badly'

Peter: I'm getting that feeling too, Chris. I hear a heated discussion was flying beforehand. I mean' just look at what the woman is wearing.

- Image of Koy's delicate getup; full skirt and top. Zoom in on black stilettos. -

Chris: She is aiming to wound him. She wants to puncture his lung.

Peter: It looks that way, doesn't it' How can that woman walk in those things, let alone fight in them"

Chris: Looks like we're about to find out!

- Roll footage, Round 1. JB/FL. 0-1 Koyliak. -

K. Simon: 'dips down under his swinging arm, running straight for him with her upper half of her body lowered so she could headbutt him straight in the gut.

Chris: Holy crap! This woman isn't wasting time!

Peter: Look at the way she uses her body, Chris. She's flying on her feet. Koy's a natural-born fighter.

Chris: Man. But look at the Governor fly, though. And to think he once said that he was the most "grounded" of the other gubernatorial candidates!

- End footage Round 1. Roll footage, Round 2. SnK/FeJB. 0-1 Koyliak. -

Peter: Now she's going to spend the next round trying to psyche her husband out. Are you seeing this, Chris"

Chris: I don't see the point. He's already looking kind of whipped.

- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3. CH/CH 1-2 Koyliak. -

K. Simon: She makes up for the lost time fast enough when she rushes him again. This time she whipped the side of her hand down onto the spot where his neck met his shoulder. It put her close enough for him to do her a similar kindness/violence"

M. Simon: Koy would probably be in heaven after that collision; he met her halfway, elbow cocked.

Chris: That's more like it!

Peter: You were saying about the Gov being "whipped?"

Chris: I stand happily corrected.

White circle is drawn around Matt's elbow, with an arrow directed at the opening on Koy's torso.

Chris: Look at the way he takes full advantage of that opening" He doesn't even care that a hand is coming right for him. The man is a bull— he goes in charging!

- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. JB/SnK 2 All. -

Chris: Look at those fists!

Peter: What we see here is the Governor going right in to tag her before she can even lift up her leg. Look at the angle he's got on Koy' It's like the man isn't susceptible to gravity.

Zoom in on Koy's smiling face.

Chris: Am I the only one who is terrified of that' Why is she smiling when she just got nailed in the teeth"

Peter: I'm scared too, Chris. I'm scared too. I imagine the Governor is as well, which would explain why he and his wife spent the next round dancing around each other and showing off for no points.

- End footage, Round 4. Roll footage 5 and 6. LG/JK 2 all; FeJK/FaDO 3-2 Matt -

Peter: Take a look at round six. Here we're getting a good look at the Governor and Koy taking advantage of all those feints and fancies. Koy falls right for that feint, though, even though she's desperate to show off her sure-footedness in a nice dodge.

- End footage, Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. LS/JB 3 All. -

M. Simon: He tries to keep her close by tripping her down, but he's getting sent stumbling as his loving wife decks him.

Chris: Ouch! You think she's paying him back for that last round" Does this even count as domestic abuse"

Peter: I don't care. I'm still freaking out over how happy she is beating up her husband.

- End footage, Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8. FeJK/FL 3-4 Koy. -

K. Simon: Pushes back against the ropes and uses them to launch her right for him. She clotheslines him in the neck.

Pause on the tape. White circle is drawn around Koy, and an arrow pointing to her inevitable collision trajectory. Plays in slow-motion.

Chris: Look at this, look at this. She sees right through that feint, and using the freakin" ropes, she winds back, and" BOOM! - Cheering. - The Gov is DOWN!

Peter: She must weigh less than a hundred pounds to be able to fly like that!

- End footage, Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. FaLP/LS 4 All. -

Peter: We're playing tug of war with the score again as the Gov nails his beautiful wife in" Ouuuuch. The face" Come on, Gov. Have you no heart"

Chris: Probably. Look. He spends Round 10 riddled with guilt. He won't even touch her. Or her, him.

- End footage, Round 9. Roll footage, Round 10 and 11. FeJK/SpK 4 All; FaDO/SnK 5-4 Matt/ -

Chris: That guilt must have worn off pretty quickly, because the Governor takes the fifth point and the win with an open-palmed spinning backhand.

Peter: Say that five times fast.

Chris: Open palmed spinning backhand. Open palm spinnin" backend. Open puhspin"

Peter: Sometimes I wonder if you're better off just not talking.

Chris: In all seriousness, though, I've just got to hand it to the Governor. He owns this thing in eleven rounds, and wasn't even fazed by his wife's footweapons.

Peter: And look, no punctured lungs!

Chris: For now?

- Camera pans back to the studio, where both men look thoroughly amused. -

Peter: That about does it for us here at the Post. Remember to keep reading, and if there is a certain duel or challenge you want broadcasted, feel free to write me at my office, and I'll see about getting it covered. Until then, stay sporty, RhyDin! And don't kill each other out there!

- End Tape 3. -