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Paige Connelly
Staff Reporter
Sixteen Questions With....Tara Rynieyn January 13, 2010
Many of us have seen Miss Rynieyn, but what do we know about this fascinating woman who often times appears to be quite mad"
I have sent her sixteen questions and she was gracious enough to respond. Get a cup of coffee or tea, and settle in as we learn about Miss Tara Rynieyn.
1> How long have you been in RhyDin"
Long enough to have seen what Talitha Lee looked like without grey hair. I know....shocking, right'
2> What is your fondest memory of life in RhyDin"
Walking into the Red Dragon Inn for the very first time and having Fenris Wulf smile at me. It just doesn't get any better than that.
3> In your opinion, Is Sinjin the sexiest man in RhyDin"
No, but he is one of the sexiest. There is no such thing as the sexiest man in Rhy'Din. All men are a gift from God and it is my intention to unwrap every single one of them before I die.
4> What is something most people don't know about you?
In a time where much of my life is plastered all over the gossip rags, one would think there is nothing at all that the public doesn't know about me but that it not true. My name is Anna Marie Rynieyn. That's what it says on my birth certificate. Hello!
And aside from making you all think my name is Tara all these years" I'm also terribly afraid of the dark.
Betcha didn't see that one coming, huh"!
5> How many times have you been married"
Fifty times, give or take a dead husband.
6> Which spouse was your favorite"
Although I tried to kill him every which way I could think of (and even had to consult a physician's desk reference at one point to come up with new ways to annihilate the miserable bastard and *still* failed), I have to say that Prince Vasaris was my favorite.
Whether it was because he insisted I apply live bees to my lips to get that "beestung" look, or that he cut out the heart of a distant princess somewhere to be made into an engagement ring for me, the fact of the matter remains, he was crazier than I am and I have to give the man some credit.
I would marry him again in a heartbeat, if I could, and then spend every waking moment of my life after that trying to stop his, once again.
Princey Pooh, if you're reading this, let's get back together, huh' Was it not you who said "Endless stars!" when you first met me" Was it not you who said I had the fire of a thousand Dziuppian War Hornets"
Didn't I make you a good Dark Queen of the Ever Aether" We had some good times mixed in with the bad. Anyway, call me on the cell.
555-TARA
If Lucien should pick up, just tell him you're my Unification advisor. That'll really freak him out!
7> Have you ever gone troll tipping"
No, but a troll once tipped me when I was working at the "Snake Pit" as an exotic dancer in my younger years. He gave me fifty gold! Back then that was a lot of money. Nowadays that is the going rate for a fangimanipedi over at Sarah's True Beauty Salon. I know Sarah awhile. She's a good kid. I'm one of her longest paying customers too and trust me when I say that no woman who comes out of her salon encompasses what I would even begin to think of as "true beauty", save myself of course. That's no mark upon Sarah either nor is it her fault.
Most of the women in this town are true hags, if anything, and just that Sarah is able to make them look presentable, is a frickin miracle. But I think it's important we continue to let them operate under the belief that they are pretty.
A girl's got to have something to live for even if it is a lie, eh'
8> What do you consider the best part of a hunt' The stalking or the kill"
The stalking. I always say I like to play with my food before I eat it.
9> If you knew you were going to be stranded on a deserted island for a long time - what 5 things would you take with you?
I would only take one thing with me and that is Anubis Karos. Because when you have Anubis Karos with you on a deserted island for a very long time, you don't NEED anything else. Savvy'
10> Is there someone you wanna date right now"
Nigel Alder, Lucien Mallorek, Thorn, Zev Zayveon, Leance DeCort, Alain DeMeur, Scotty & Harold Lee (at the same time), my brother Daniel, Darcy's brother David, G'nort, Harris the Dummy, Stephen Kidd, Shane Michael, Corlanthis, Reap, Baker (don't ask), Romax, Skid, my cousin Silphion, Darkmere, Tucker, Khael, the Kissing Bandit, Logan (but he has to leave his mints at home), Jolyon, Zonker, these two guys I met last night Kethan and Sir Forgedawn, Oliver, Emmit Bane, Neo, Marc Franco.....
I'm sorry, was there a limit here, because this, by no means, is an exhaustive list. I could go on...do you have enough parchment or should we go get more" Why are there lines running across this paper" Am I supposed to write in between them or on top of them' I've been sorta writing in a slant here as that is most comfortable for me....that and it looks funny. I hope you do not mind. Ooh, did you know this paper smells like pineapples" I like pineapples. They taste good.
11> Who is your favorite bartender"
While all the bartenders of the Red Dragon Inn have a special place in my heart (except for that psychopath Leyna!), Fayalki will forever remain my absolute favorite. He was one of my first friends here in Rhy'Din and he was kind to me during a time in my life when it was not popular to do so. I will never forget him and I miss him, terribly.
12> Would you share a popsicle with Ehz"
Sure, why not' I shared a nerf-bat with her once. She even taught me how to use it. I thought it was some newfangled sex toy to be quite honest but then she told me it was a weapon. I don't see the point in having a weapon which does not hurt but as Ehz explained it to me, it's the idea of pain that is the most scary for the victim, rather than the actual lumps they may receive. It was a lot of fun to beat the hell out of people with the nerf bat trying to prove her wrong, let me tell you. I think I may even still have it in my Hole in the Wall but I would have to go look to be certain. Anyway, what?s a popsicle" Is that a weapon too'
Can never have too many of those.
I have a chainsaw. I call it The Widow Maker.
Wanna see it sometime"
It makes a noise.
Zreee, Zreee.
13> What is your favorite of all the nicknames you've had in your life time"
The Cockroach Killa.
I earned every syllable of that nickname, a thousand times over.
14> How do you feel about garden gnomes"
The same way I feel about ants coming out of an anthill. You don't really want to crush them to death with your foot as you walk by because of how unfair it all my seem, but some things are just too much damn fun to pass up.
15> How big is your tab at the Inn"
According to the ledger, it is presently at $999,990 gold and that does not include the thirty or so gold I stole last month from the till to pay for my Zoltar's Fortune habit. I would appreciate it if you didn't print this as "stolen" but rather "borrowed", since I seem to think Panther might have a problem with my taking the money even though he is no saint himself. I personally know that cat's been dipping his hand into the town fund cookie jar and misappropriating all that money for longer than I've been alive.
How else do you think he paid for the repairs on his house, that shiny jewelry he bought S'jira and the pixie boxes on the old oak tree out front' Money certainly doesn't grow on that tree, honey!
You didn't think I knew about that Panth, did ya"! But I do! I know lots of things that I one day plan to expose, blowing the top off the myriad conspiracies going on in this town, WIDE OPEN!
Then you're all gonna be real sorry. Oh yeah. I'm doing it. You just wait and see.
16> Have you ever fed the stew"
Yes, I have, and I am not proud to admit this. I was there the night Sir Robert Grail made the first batch of his famous Stew, watching as he ladled it out into our bowls with childish glee even as we all issued a collective groan of despair. I loved Robert. He was a good friend of mine. So when he asked me what I thought of it, I lied and said it tasted good even though it did not. In truth, I vomited for a good week after eating that slop but I couldn't say that to him. You just didn't hurt a guy like Robert Grail's feelings. It wouldn't be right.
Anyway, years later, after Robert had long quit working at the Dragon, Chris, the RPS Guy, came in to deliver a package to me from Jack the Ripper. Old Jackie and I go way back. We have been at war for years, you see. Jackie's always been of the opinion that Rhy'Din wasn't big enough for the both of us and that I was treading on his turf, so to speak. So, to rattle me, I suppose, and get me to move away, he killed a lover of mine and mailed me his liver which I then deposited into Robert's Stew.
After mourning my lover, of course.
For a whole hour too, palming that liver, reminiscing on the times we spent giving each other hot oil massages and tonguing each other's ears. Gee, just thinking about it now as I write this brings a tear to my eye.
Now if only I could remember his name....
Sixteen Questions With....Tara Rynieyn January 13, 2010
Many of us have seen Miss Rynieyn, but what do we know about this fascinating woman who often times appears to be quite mad"
I have sent her sixteen questions and she was gracious enough to respond. Get a cup of coffee or tea, and settle in as we learn about Miss Tara Rynieyn.
1> How long have you been in RhyDin"
Long enough to have seen what Talitha Lee looked like without grey hair. I know....shocking, right'
2> What is your fondest memory of life in RhyDin"
Walking into the Red Dragon Inn for the very first time and having Fenris Wulf smile at me. It just doesn't get any better than that.
3> In your opinion, Is Sinjin the sexiest man in RhyDin"
No, but he is one of the sexiest. There is no such thing as the sexiest man in Rhy'Din. All men are a gift from God and it is my intention to unwrap every single one of them before I die.
4> What is something most people don't know about you?
In a time where much of my life is plastered all over the gossip rags, one would think there is nothing at all that the public doesn't know about me but that it not true. My name is Anna Marie Rynieyn. That's what it says on my birth certificate. Hello!
And aside from making you all think my name is Tara all these years" I'm also terribly afraid of the dark.
Betcha didn't see that one coming, huh"!
5> How many times have you been married"
Fifty times, give or take a dead husband.
6> Which spouse was your favorite"
Although I tried to kill him every which way I could think of (and even had to consult a physician's desk reference at one point to come up with new ways to annihilate the miserable bastard and *still* failed), I have to say that Prince Vasaris was my favorite.
Whether it was because he insisted I apply live bees to my lips to get that "beestung" look, or that he cut out the heart of a distant princess somewhere to be made into an engagement ring for me, the fact of the matter remains, he was crazier than I am and I have to give the man some credit.
I would marry him again in a heartbeat, if I could, and then spend every waking moment of my life after that trying to stop his, once again.
Princey Pooh, if you're reading this, let's get back together, huh' Was it not you who said "Endless stars!" when you first met me" Was it not you who said I had the fire of a thousand Dziuppian War Hornets"
Didn't I make you a good Dark Queen of the Ever Aether" We had some good times mixed in with the bad. Anyway, call me on the cell.
555-TARA
If Lucien should pick up, just tell him you're my Unification advisor. That'll really freak him out!
7> Have you ever gone troll tipping"
No, but a troll once tipped me when I was working at the "Snake Pit" as an exotic dancer in my younger years. He gave me fifty gold! Back then that was a lot of money. Nowadays that is the going rate for a fangimanipedi over at Sarah's True Beauty Salon. I know Sarah awhile. She's a good kid. I'm one of her longest paying customers too and trust me when I say that no woman who comes out of her salon encompasses what I would even begin to think of as "true beauty", save myself of course. That's no mark upon Sarah either nor is it her fault.
Most of the women in this town are true hags, if anything, and just that Sarah is able to make them look presentable, is a frickin miracle. But I think it's important we continue to let them operate under the belief that they are pretty.
A girl's got to have something to live for even if it is a lie, eh'
8> What do you consider the best part of a hunt' The stalking or the kill"
The stalking. I always say I like to play with my food before I eat it.
9> If you knew you were going to be stranded on a deserted island for a long time - what 5 things would you take with you?
I would only take one thing with me and that is Anubis Karos. Because when you have Anubis Karos with you on a deserted island for a very long time, you don't NEED anything else. Savvy'
10> Is there someone you wanna date right now"
Nigel Alder, Lucien Mallorek, Thorn, Zev Zayveon, Leance DeCort, Alain DeMeur, Scotty & Harold Lee (at the same time), my brother Daniel, Darcy's brother David, G'nort, Harris the Dummy, Stephen Kidd, Shane Michael, Corlanthis, Reap, Baker (don't ask), Romax, Skid, my cousin Silphion, Darkmere, Tucker, Khael, the Kissing Bandit, Logan (but he has to leave his mints at home), Jolyon, Zonker, these two guys I met last night Kethan and Sir Forgedawn, Oliver, Emmit Bane, Neo, Marc Franco.....
I'm sorry, was there a limit here, because this, by no means, is an exhaustive list. I could go on...do you have enough parchment or should we go get more" Why are there lines running across this paper" Am I supposed to write in between them or on top of them' I've been sorta writing in a slant here as that is most comfortable for me....that and it looks funny. I hope you do not mind. Ooh, did you know this paper smells like pineapples" I like pineapples. They taste good.
11> Who is your favorite bartender"
While all the bartenders of the Red Dragon Inn have a special place in my heart (except for that psychopath Leyna!), Fayalki will forever remain my absolute favorite. He was one of my first friends here in Rhy'Din and he was kind to me during a time in my life when it was not popular to do so. I will never forget him and I miss him, terribly.
12> Would you share a popsicle with Ehz"
Sure, why not' I shared a nerf-bat with her once. She even taught me how to use it. I thought it was some newfangled sex toy to be quite honest but then she told me it was a weapon. I don't see the point in having a weapon which does not hurt but as Ehz explained it to me, it's the idea of pain that is the most scary for the victim, rather than the actual lumps they may receive. It was a lot of fun to beat the hell out of people with the nerf bat trying to prove her wrong, let me tell you. I think I may even still have it in my Hole in the Wall but I would have to go look to be certain. Anyway, what?s a popsicle" Is that a weapon too'
Can never have too many of those.
I have a chainsaw. I call it The Widow Maker.
Wanna see it sometime"
It makes a noise.
Zreee, Zreee.
13> What is your favorite of all the nicknames you've had in your life time"
The Cockroach Killa.
I earned every syllable of that nickname, a thousand times over.
14> How do you feel about garden gnomes"
The same way I feel about ants coming out of an anthill. You don't really want to crush them to death with your foot as you walk by because of how unfair it all my seem, but some things are just too much damn fun to pass up.
15> How big is your tab at the Inn"
According to the ledger, it is presently at $999,990 gold and that does not include the thirty or so gold I stole last month from the till to pay for my Zoltar's Fortune habit. I would appreciate it if you didn't print this as "stolen" but rather "borrowed", since I seem to think Panther might have a problem with my taking the money even though he is no saint himself. I personally know that cat's been dipping his hand into the town fund cookie jar and misappropriating all that money for longer than I've been alive.
How else do you think he paid for the repairs on his house, that shiny jewelry he bought S'jira and the pixie boxes on the old oak tree out front' Money certainly doesn't grow on that tree, honey!
You didn't think I knew about that Panth, did ya"! But I do! I know lots of things that I one day plan to expose, blowing the top off the myriad conspiracies going on in this town, WIDE OPEN!
Then you're all gonna be real sorry. Oh yeah. I'm doing it. You just wait and see.
16> Have you ever fed the stew"
Yes, I have, and I am not proud to admit this. I was there the night Sir Robert Grail made the first batch of his famous Stew, watching as he ladled it out into our bowls with childish glee even as we all issued a collective groan of despair. I loved Robert. He was a good friend of mine. So when he asked me what I thought of it, I lied and said it tasted good even though it did not. In truth, I vomited for a good week after eating that slop but I couldn't say that to him. You just didn't hurt a guy like Robert Grail's feelings. It wouldn't be right.
Anyway, years later, after Robert had long quit working at the Dragon, Chris, the RPS Guy, came in to deliver a package to me from Jack the Ripper. Old Jackie and I go way back. We have been at war for years, you see. Jackie's always been of the opinion that Rhy'Din wasn't big enough for the both of us and that I was treading on his turf, so to speak. So, to rattle me, I suppose, and get me to move away, he killed a lover of mine and mailed me his liver which I then deposited into Robert's Stew.
After mourning my lover, of course.
For a whole hour too, palming that liver, reminiscing on the times we spent giving each other hot oil massages and tonguing each other's ears. Gee, just thinking about it now as I write this brings a tear to my eye.
Now if only I could remember his name....