- Camera returns to the studio, where Peter and Chris are engaged in a friendly discussion. They both look at the camera. -
Peter: Welcome back RhyDin! I'm Peter Pham!
Chris: And I'm Rat Ma-" I'm Chris Reed.
Peter: Thanks for sticking with us! We're ready to bring you the next installment of our featurette. This one has got none other than Governor Simon of CrushBob, pitted against Porthos from team Victoria" Victory's Secret.
Chris: HA! I told you!
Peter: A minor slip. What do you think about this match-up, Chris"
Chris: I'm actually really excited about this one, Pete, and not just because it's CrushBob. I'm grateful that an enthusiastic spectator brought this particular fight to our attention. Apparently it's got some interesting rules to it, agreed upon by the fighters beforehand.
Peter: What kind of rules"
Chris: Neither fighter is allowed to use his feet!
Peter: That's pretty interesting!
Chris: You bet it is! That means no sweeps, no kicks, nothin"! I'm stoked!
Peter: What are we waiting for, then" Roll the footage!
- Roll footage, Round 1 and 2. FaDO/AB 0 All; FL/FL 0 All. -
Chris: Interesting was actually the right word for it, I think! Simon is quick to get all antsy and run away from Porthos.
Peter: Yeah, but then he gets in there and grapples with him. Get off each other, gentlemen. This is a fists match, not a wrestling one!
Chris: Watch their feet, Pete. You can tell Simon is really wanting to hook Porthos on the knee, but he has to force himself to cement his shoe to the ground.
Peter: I wonder if Porthos recognized that his weaknesses lay in footing, and that's why he made Simon agree to this match.
Chris: You think" Hey! Someone took my advice for once!
- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3. JB/AB 0/+ Porthos. -
Porthos: "It seems we are destined to dance nonetheless, Mon Ami!"
Chris: Ohhh, he's a cocky bastard, isn't he" I like him!
Peter: But he's fighting your team, Chris!
Chris: Well yeah, CrushBob is still going to destroy him' but it doesn't mean I can't appreciate a fighter for his candor!
Peter: Still, Porthos was quick to bring up the arms. I wonder Simon's prevention of the using his legs are throwing off his sense of balance.
Chris: Absolutely, Pete. Simon is notoriously unpredictable in the rings. Having only upper-body moves available to him limits his technique. I imagine it's quite a challenge for him.
- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. CH/HK 1 All. -
Simon: The two men trade, each taking a blow from the other.
Porthos: They both landed a vicious strike, shaking the sting out of his fist before smiling.
Peter: Look at both of these openings here, will you?
- Slow motion, frame-by-frame playback of Round 4. A white circle is drawn around where each hand connects on either fighter. -
Chris: You're absolutely right. Their balance is completely thrown off. Simon is glued to the floor, and Porthos is getting too excited. He hardly notices the fist flying at his face!
Peter: I have to wonder if Simon did that on purpose, though.
Chris: You think he's setting Porthos up for a miss"
Peter: Let's find out.
- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6. DU/JB 1 All. -
Porthos: He connected with the thin air and went stumbling forward off balance, quickly recomposing himself.
Peter: Yep, I was right. This is Combat 101, right here.
Chris: It's absolutely brilliant, Pete.
- Camera pans back to the studio for a minute, where Chris is demonstrating a move sequence slowly. -
Chris: See" after that hit lands, the victim is dazed. You don't have the faculties to try and deflect another incoming punch, because usually you can't see a dang thing. The classic reaction is to retaliate blindly, to keep your opponent off you while you recover. - Snapping his fingers. - Simon takes full advantage of this, no pun intended, and gets down right under that swing with a well-timed duck. It's beautiful, it's clear, and it's calculated.
Peter: I think you're in love, Chris.
Chris: He's diabolical!
- Roll footage Round 7. FL/AB 2-1 Simon. -
Simon: Trying to get a decent handhold on Porthos' arms to twist him aside.
Porthos: He landed flat on his back after being flipped head over heels, laughing as he rose back to his feet. "Excellent!"
Chris: I have to hand it to a man who is laughing after he's had the wind knocked out of him.
Peter: Look at that perfect grab by Simon, though. Porthos saw him incoming, and automatically assumed he was going for a blow. Wrong!
Chris: Yo, dude! He's not that predictable!
Peter: At least he's attempting to err on the side of caution!
- End footage Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8 and 9. JB/HK 3-1 Simon; FL/JB 4-1 Simon. -
Porthos: Blood erupted from his nose, causing him to wince from the ferocity of the least damaging, but most effective of punches and he sought to somehow return the favor.
- Sounds are heard of Chris jumping out of his chair. -
Chris: Oh beautiful! Beautiful! Here we see Combat 101 all over again, but on the verge of extreme! Porthos comes in for a miss, and Simon uses that opening to snap one out.
- Slow motion, action-replay of Round 8, zooming in to Matt's fist connecting with his opponent's nose. -
Chris: Porthos is dazed, he can't see a bloody thing" Ha! Get it' Because there's blood!
Peter: You're hysterical, Chris. - Sarcastically. -
Chris: He can't see a thing, so he lashes out to keep Simon off him. Simon does him one better. Predicting this, he grabs a hold of that lunge and gives him a little toss! Upsy-daisy! Nice trip; see you next fall!
Peter: Not bad. Not bad at all.
- End footage Round 9. Roll footage, Round 10. UC/AB 4-1 Simon. -
Porthos: He managed to block the uppercut, probably looking as surprised as his opponent for he was proving time and time again why his comrades had chosen him Kyu with this particular style of duel.
Peter: Careful there, Simon. Getting a little too eager to close out the match. Porthos had plenty of time to recover between rounds, and he got a perfect view of that incoming fist.
Chris: Quick arms on Porthos's part there, Pete. I do have to admit speed is definitely on his side.
- End footage Round 10. Roll footage, Round 11. FaDO/FL 5-1 Simon. -
Simon: He tries, again, to backhand Porthos, just to even things out with the man's cousin.
Chris: Aha! I love what Simon does here. Porthos goes in for a grab, and the governor just WHAPS him! No way, man! Hands OFF!
Peter: I'm beginning to think the backhand is a signature move of his.
Chris: It is. Clearly you don't watch enough CrushBob matches.
Peter: I'm sorry. I have a life that doesn't revolve around just one team.
- Camera pans back to studio, where Chris looks smug. -
Chris: You know what? Say what you will, but CrushBob is still bleeding every other team out there of their points.
Peter: That's one loss by She-Simon, and one win by He-Simon. I'd say it's a pretty alright night for CrushBob, actually.
Chris: I'm calling it, Pete. CrushBob will take the Tour by storm. They're going to keep the jersey, and win the whole thing.
Peter: You heard him, folks. Everyone's favorite annoying ex-dueler is calling CrushBob for the win.
Chris: Who do you expect to' heyyyyy! What do you mean annoying"!
Peter: I didn't say anything. But I'm not ready to call a team just yet. It's too early to tell.
Chris: It's not even a contest, Pete. CrushBob is going to take this thing.
Peter: We're eager to know what you think, RhyDin. If you get the chance, call the number at the bottom of your screen, and cast your vote. Who do you think will win the Tour"
Chris: - Coughing. - Crush?
Peter: Don't let him influence you. Cast your vote. And remember, RhyDin. If there is a fight you want us to showcase, don't hesitate to write us about it! We want to hear from you!
Chris: Until next time, I'm Chris Reed.
Peter: And I'm Peter Pham. You stay sporty, RhyDin!
- End tape. -
