The following article was seen on page five through seven of the RhyDin Post, April the nineteenth.
The 2010 Gubernatorial Debate: An Evaluation April 19, 2010
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/6264346944a710cfe80dc5.jpg Senior Columnist and Investigative Journalist: Darien Fenner
Ladies and gentlemen, apparently "farce" is the name of the game when it comes to government in RhyDin this term.
And when I say farce, I am by no means referring to James Madison's idea of government and information circulation when he said, "A popular government without popular information or the means of acquiring it, is but a prologue to a farce, or a tragedy, or perhaps both."
No. Nothing so insightful. When I say farce, I mean a government 'system of election' that some in RhyDin are beginning to consider nothing more than a topsy-turvy comedy of errors that occasionally pits some candidates against each other in a town hall.
An attendee of the 2010 Gubernatorial Debate this past Sunday was overheard making the following comment of the election itself:
"You know, I thought Jewell was nuts years ago when she said this was pointless, but I'm starting to agree in my old age."
And with candidates dropping out of the race for governor left and right for who-knows-why, who can possibly blame the constituent body for being a little bit cynical when it comes to politics" Perhaps cynical isn't even the right word for it.
But before we delve into the hyper critical aspects of what makes a good government or what attracts the public to voter's booths, let's try and look at what the 2010 election has to offer from an unbiased perspective.
Of the seven original candidates running, RhyDin's selection has been narrowed down to two. Silas Greyshott, Eleanor Legarde, and Thwei Cetanu were muscled out in the primaries, whittling the number of runners to four: Matthew Simon, Sheridan Driscol, Corlanthis Wystansayr, and Aaron Marshall.
Apparently, the stress of continually promising free booze was simply too much for Marshall, who not only neglected to attend the actual debate, but also announced his withdrawal from the running that evening, interrupting Simon's opening statement by proclaiming he was "like, quitting, yo' before bolting out of the Hall pursued by one of his assumed lackeys. Pardon. Groupies. Oh, apologies. This thesaurus is not particularly extensive. He was pursued by one of his assumed proponents. Here is to hoping that campaign funds weren't directly contributed to Marshall. If so, his constituents might want to reexamine the concept of a "free lunch' in a traditional, working economy.
That is what we do know, based on observation. Here is what you didn't know, as a public. Our reporters followed up with Marshall after he dropped out of the running. Here is what he had to say regarding his reasons to run in the first place:
"A lot think of my running as a simple joke on my part. After all, my campaign platform was entirely ludicrous. But truth be told, I was conducting a little test, you know" Like, I've become concerned with the people in this city; less and less does anyone seem to care much about anything but their own personal gain. It's <censored> crazy, yo. So, I thought: If I get past the preliminaries, there is absolutely no hope left for this city. And so, I ran. When I got it past the whole knock out voting, I was just like: This sucks. I can understand my friends voting for me, their friends, but the others" Dude. Not. Cool."
Perhaps the problem lies not with the candidates, but with the constituents" Then again, this was a man who seemed under the impression that free things equals money equals happiness.
Candidate Corlanthis Wystansayr at least managed to make it past the first question. It comes as no surprise that he submitted a quite diplomatic and well-spoken answer. After all, Wystansayr is a very capable orator, and performed extraordinarily well in the last two elections. The surprise, instead, was found in his abrupt withdrawal from the running following a query about the topic of slavery - A heated issue candidates were all-too-willing to get their hands on. Despite a solid answer, Wystansayr leapt off the stage and informally renounced his position in the race, instead seating himself with the rest of his constituents. Was his platform not solid enough to withstand the debate" Did he develop a sudden case of food poisoning" Obviously he didn't develop a rapid-onset case of stage fright. Exactly why would he withdraw, especially since his chances had been increased by almost twenty-five percent"
Here is what Wystansayr had to say when our reporters caught up with him:
"As I said at the debate, I won't compromise my values for the position. I cannot, will not, accept a position in which I must condone the practice of slavery. If that means trying to change things from outside the system before I run for Governor once again, then so be it, but I believe my decision was the right one."
Has that position changed in the last two years"
According to a few interviewed, they are shocked by Wystansayr's unusual behavior.
"I have voted for him faithfully each time he has run," claims a constituent. "I honestly can't believe he would so suddenly drop out like that. Who am I supposed to vote for, now?"
RhyDinians have begun express interest as to whom Wystansayr will endorse now that he has dropped out of the running.
Of the final two candidates, who will it be? Governor Matthew Algiers Simon, veteran to the gubernatorial office and first pick for duel-goers, or Sheridan "Dris" Driscol, luthier and self-proclaimed "friend" of RhyDin"
"Why you should vote for me is simple," explained Driscol in his opening statement. "It's time for a change, time for new ideas and new policies. It's time we stop pretending to be a community we are not and start embracing the diversity in which we are. Vote for me, and I'll promote what is instead of trying to change us into what we are not. This is RhyDin. It's time to remember that instead of pretending to be some other world in which we are not.?
Apparently, we are all under some strange sense of delusion, RhyDin. Our entire populace is suffering from some gruesome identity crisis! But don't look now - Driscol is here to help!
Continued on page six.
The 2010 Gubernatorial Debate: An Evaluation April 19, 2010
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/6264346944a710cfe80dc5.jpg Senior Columnist and Investigative Journalist: Darien Fenner
Ladies and gentlemen, apparently "farce" is the name of the game when it comes to government in RhyDin this term.
And when I say farce, I am by no means referring to James Madison's idea of government and information circulation when he said, "A popular government without popular information or the means of acquiring it, is but a prologue to a farce, or a tragedy, or perhaps both."
No. Nothing so insightful. When I say farce, I mean a government 'system of election' that some in RhyDin are beginning to consider nothing more than a topsy-turvy comedy of errors that occasionally pits some candidates against each other in a town hall.
An attendee of the 2010 Gubernatorial Debate this past Sunday was overheard making the following comment of the election itself:
"You know, I thought Jewell was nuts years ago when she said this was pointless, but I'm starting to agree in my old age."
And with candidates dropping out of the race for governor left and right for who-knows-why, who can possibly blame the constituent body for being a little bit cynical when it comes to politics" Perhaps cynical isn't even the right word for it.
But before we delve into the hyper critical aspects of what makes a good government or what attracts the public to voter's booths, let's try and look at what the 2010 election has to offer from an unbiased perspective.
Of the seven original candidates running, RhyDin's selection has been narrowed down to two. Silas Greyshott, Eleanor Legarde, and Thwei Cetanu were muscled out in the primaries, whittling the number of runners to four: Matthew Simon, Sheridan Driscol, Corlanthis Wystansayr, and Aaron Marshall.
Apparently, the stress of continually promising free booze was simply too much for Marshall, who not only neglected to attend the actual debate, but also announced his withdrawal from the running that evening, interrupting Simon's opening statement by proclaiming he was "like, quitting, yo' before bolting out of the Hall pursued by one of his assumed lackeys. Pardon. Groupies. Oh, apologies. This thesaurus is not particularly extensive. He was pursued by one of his assumed proponents. Here is to hoping that campaign funds weren't directly contributed to Marshall. If so, his constituents might want to reexamine the concept of a "free lunch' in a traditional, working economy.
That is what we do know, based on observation. Here is what you didn't know, as a public. Our reporters followed up with Marshall after he dropped out of the running. Here is what he had to say regarding his reasons to run in the first place:
"A lot think of my running as a simple joke on my part. After all, my campaign platform was entirely ludicrous. But truth be told, I was conducting a little test, you know" Like, I've become concerned with the people in this city; less and less does anyone seem to care much about anything but their own personal gain. It's <censored> crazy, yo. So, I thought: If I get past the preliminaries, there is absolutely no hope left for this city. And so, I ran. When I got it past the whole knock out voting, I was just like: This sucks. I can understand my friends voting for me, their friends, but the others" Dude. Not. Cool."
Perhaps the problem lies not with the candidates, but with the constituents" Then again, this was a man who seemed under the impression that free things equals money equals happiness.
Candidate Corlanthis Wystansayr at least managed to make it past the first question. It comes as no surprise that he submitted a quite diplomatic and well-spoken answer. After all, Wystansayr is a very capable orator, and performed extraordinarily well in the last two elections. The surprise, instead, was found in his abrupt withdrawal from the running following a query about the topic of slavery - A heated issue candidates were all-too-willing to get their hands on. Despite a solid answer, Wystansayr leapt off the stage and informally renounced his position in the race, instead seating himself with the rest of his constituents. Was his platform not solid enough to withstand the debate" Did he develop a sudden case of food poisoning" Obviously he didn't develop a rapid-onset case of stage fright. Exactly why would he withdraw, especially since his chances had been increased by almost twenty-five percent"
Here is what Wystansayr had to say when our reporters caught up with him:
"As I said at the debate, I won't compromise my values for the position. I cannot, will not, accept a position in which I must condone the practice of slavery. If that means trying to change things from outside the system before I run for Governor once again, then so be it, but I believe my decision was the right one."
Has that position changed in the last two years"
According to a few interviewed, they are shocked by Wystansayr's unusual behavior.
"I have voted for him faithfully each time he has run," claims a constituent. "I honestly can't believe he would so suddenly drop out like that. Who am I supposed to vote for, now?"
RhyDinians have begun express interest as to whom Wystansayr will endorse now that he has dropped out of the running.
Of the final two candidates, who will it be? Governor Matthew Algiers Simon, veteran to the gubernatorial office and first pick for duel-goers, or Sheridan "Dris" Driscol, luthier and self-proclaimed "friend" of RhyDin"
"Why you should vote for me is simple," explained Driscol in his opening statement. "It's time for a change, time for new ideas and new policies. It's time we stop pretending to be a community we are not and start embracing the diversity in which we are. Vote for me, and I'll promote what is instead of trying to change us into what we are not. This is RhyDin. It's time to remember that instead of pretending to be some other world in which we are not.?
Apparently, we are all under some strange sense of delusion, RhyDin. Our entire populace is suffering from some gruesome identity crisis! But don't look now - Driscol is here to help!
Continued on page six.