Topic: The Harvest Ball in Review!

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-10-18 01:14 EST
http://i738.photobucket.com/albums/xx21/dfenner_photo/521311356_3ef416f175-1.jpg Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane

Murder, Magnificence, and Missing Manners: October's Harvest Ball in Review! October 18, 2010

For once, I have to say that I am relieved to see some drama unfold that is actually planned and in good humor!

The Harvest Festival 2010 wound down spectacularly Saturday night in a comical and compelling series of events that challenged the acting and problem-solving abilities of RhyDin's fabulous, finely dressed folk! If you weren't there, you really missed something special; after all, mystery is at the very heart of creativity' and what are RhyDinians if not creative"

Needless to say, brother Johnny and Miss fabulous Juliane were present and accounted for, looking rather spectacular as Sherlock and She-Watson. Honestly, I do believe these two should make the steampunk style a part of their regular wardrobe, because boy howdy can they pull it off. Emo is a little farfetched for brother Johnny, but come on, people! Can't you see him strutting his stuff in a bowler hat and spectacles" He should at least give the suggestion a moment's consideration. Maybe She-Watson can help us talk him into it. Call us, sweetheart!

As expected, brother Johnny had the event running smoothly and efficiently, and made rounds of the Hall constantly to engage and encourage (as Johnny is wont to do, anyway). Thus far, we have heard nothing but resounding praise for his and his associates' work for the Harvest Festival evenings, culminating in a hilarious and entertaining night of mystery. After all, it's kind of a relief when murders in RhyDin seem to have a reason behind them. If RhyDin itself was a full-length novel, I swear there would be gaping plot holes enough to make any average book critic claw his eyes out.

Speaking of books! The characters played during the murder mystery were delightfully spot-on and hysterical. My interns were relieved to see London walking through the Hall doors in all his regal glory with some handsome chap that we unfortunately didn't quite get the name of. But in all honesty, any event that includes London is an event worth attending, no' Word has it London warmed to his role as James Monet very easily, and wound up taking on a character that may as well have just waltzed out of a Jane Austen novel. It really got me thinking....One of these days I'd like to see someone like London or Juliane whip out a little Austen in everyday conversation:

"It is your turn to say something now, Mr. Demery. I talked about the dance, and you ought to make some kind of remark on the insidious atmosphere of the room or the number of lurking, hooded villains."

RhyDin could use a bit of class, anyway.

And London wasn't the only one who warmed to his character alarmingly naturally. Saucy pirate wench Riley wound up playing the part of the snooty Honey Monet-Baggs, and my he-intern tells me that she seemed right at home playing a snob and bossing around poor love struck Penny Nellis (played by none other than Riley's partner-in-crime, Mataya) almost as effortlessly as that gossip guru Marc Franco played a jealous and licentious lover. Now we know toothsome Riley has a bit of that dominatrix in her, but gee whiz, lady. Don't let it all out at once. Thankfully a certain highwayman, the object of her affections for the night (who, judging by the way she tactfully arranged a full-on grope session on the dance floor, I can only assume was Ex-Constable Hotstuff, a.k.a. David Lo) didn't seem to mind. And who would" I challenge any man to say no to a former D.A. in thigh-high leather boots.

Darling Amber and her brother seemed right at home in the petty atmosphere Riley created, as bickering was never in short supply between these two. Still, there is something positively adorable about bringing a sibling to a costume ball and wanting to share the experience with them. Mik's costume just encouraged me to make my next shindig a toga party, though, so thanks for that!

On a side note, I'm having a bit of a love-hate relationship with the list of attendees at the ball, RhyDin. While I will admit that I was absolutely thrilled with some of the appearances I heard about, I was also very disappointed with a few noticeable absences - namely two, and that is Scotty and Harold. Apparently, the Scot has enough time on his hands to run a snogging booth and flirt shamelessly, but not enough to even stop in and participate in one of the social gatherings of the season. Where are their priorities" Honestly. I was looking forward to hearing allllll about these two, but alas. I am positively hurt. I do hope those lucky RhyDinians who got their snog on relished and cherished it, since judging by the way of things they probably won't have another Scot experience EVER. And apparently, neither will we. Hmph.

On the other hand, I was positively delighted to hear about not only appearances by Eless, who looked magnificently glam and gorgeous as a winged white lacy thing of some sort (who cares what it is" That babe can wear a potato sack and make it couture), but also - get this - Mason and Eva! O.M.G.! And not only that, but my she-interns inform me that they got to see much more of Mason than they are generally allowed to. I vote we create a beach night in the Red Dragon, if only to convince those two to whip out the tribal gear all over again. Word has it Mason was seen parading Eva around on his shoulder like the prize she is, which honestly makes us Awwww! with gusto. Those two are just as sweet and wonderful with each other as they were when they originally got together. It makes me consider the possibility that love might actually be sustainable in RhyDin" but only if you're as damn sexy as those two.

Damn sexy isn't that hard to come by, though, because Anyanka arrived looking abso-tively GORGEOUS in a gathered silver number and beautifully styled silver mask. Yes, she was masked, RhyDin, but unless that stunning woman has a doppelganger somewhere with the same brilliant fiery head of hair, flawless skin, and to-die-for hourglass figure, I'm going to put money down that it was our delicious Anyanka that decided to glorify the costume ball with her presence Saturday night. She and some faceless fellow in familiar fashion remained attached to each other the entire night, likely gossiping about the devious things they do. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume based upon the rumbling baritone voice heard through his disguise (that made my she-interns quake at the knees) that said fellow was none other than Anyanka's dashing Viktor. What is it about that pair that just makes all the others pale in comparison' Those two are so consistently abuzz and a-spark with chemistry I could write a romance novel in my head just watching them. Do I sense a book deal in the making" Is Viktor the next popular rebellious Byronic Hero with a troubled past' Is Anyanka the strong-willed femme solely capable of mending his broken heart' Someone get my lawyer on the phone! This is happening!

I seriously don't know how the original mef Maranya puts up with Antonio being wanted by' uh' every woman in RhyDin. No, really. If any woman claims she doesn't want him, I promise you she is lying about it. And you know what? I think secretly every man wants him too. Antonio didn't help ease that reputation much at all, for as the night dragged on and his very pregnant wife conversed with some armor-clad person and went all detective-slash-scientist-like on the murder mystery (the black hair wasn't as much a giveaway for her identity as the bump was!), he made rounds of the floor and gave out shiny things and jewelry to most all the ladies present. I feel sorry for the other folks in his house. In no time at all, that dashing fellow is going to have about twenty-five lusty lovers married into their little harem. Pardon me. Big harem.

While I'm not sure exactly how it's possible, Rena was spotted (finally!) playing the part of wallflower while seated somewhere in the middle of the crowd. Honestly, we don't get enough Rena around these days - let alone Rena in a smexy black number, so it was good to see her back in the habit of making public appearances. Does this mean she will make a comeback, or maybe even give those duels a kickstart by issuing a few challenges" Only time will tell!

Darien Fenner

Date: 2010-10-18 01:26 EST
Speaking of wallflowers" My interns tell me that some chick named Felicity (or that's what we think her name is) and her serpentine friend spent some of the night hanging back and trash-talking the ball. Now I like to think I'm a pretty considerate fellow (and handsome, and charming), so naturally I tried to give these gals the benefit of the doubt. But when there are repeat reports of these stuck-up broads acting like the waiter skimped on ice at their private country club, I get a little itchy' especially when it's clear how much effort brother Johnny and friends put into planning and bringing this whole shindig together. Excuse you, but unless you're there to enjoy yourself or to murder or stalk someone (hey, the Post people are impartial about social logic), then there is the door, and please don't let it hit you on the way out. Honestly. Doesn't anyone have manners these days"

Tension was sharp between who my interns believe was Mia and some suspiciously good-looking baboon (no, seriously). While no one seemed to catch exactly what was said, Mia's behavior and kinesics certainly did not reflect the sexy confidence of that leather getup she happened to be wearing. What did I tell you, RhyDin" Balls are just as good for dancing as they are for stalking and threatening. Thank god the Hall isn't liable for any incidents that may occur!

Fiora, meanwhile, remained by the snack table most of the night stuffing her lovely face with sandwiches. I know you have a stressful job, honey, but eating your weight in carbs really might not be the best coping mechanism. When Jatari landed a bit later (literally) the two teamed up and commenced tittering teenage girl transformation. Now I know not many of you speak teenage girl, but I have been fortunate enough to learn a few dialects in the course of my career. So for those of you who are puzzled by this feminine interaction, allow me to translate a little for you:

Fiora: EEEEEEEE! ("Excuse me, madam, but I must hereby express how delighted I am to make your acquaintance this evening.") Jatari: Ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Chica, you look so amazing! You're like Batman's smokin' hot sister! ("I concur. Your presence at this event contents and entertains me greatly. I kindly express my satisfaction that you have elected to attend an affair at which I have recently arrived. I must also add that I judge the state of your appearance to be exceptional, and that I believe your apparel is reminiscent of a fictional literary and cinematic protagonist's sibling.") Fiora: Yeah' ("I appreciate your generous compliment, but would prefer that you repeat it as I either suspect your flattering remark is erroneous or I seek confirmation on a self-interested basis.") Jatari: F-yeah, you are! ("I enthusiastically reaffirm my former declaration.")

We're looking into making a deal with Webster over a dictionary for these two. Apparently this kind of interaction is contagious.

Here is what utterly floors me, folks. In a town where everyone seems to have enough money to wear red carpet attire just to go grocery shopping, how can someone show up at an event wearing the same thing" Apparently Joey wasn't the only one sporting a Red Riding Hood costume, though she did manage to pull off a much more morbid version of that particular ensemble (and one we'd imagine suits her more, anyway). And when he wasn't flirting it up with the super-sexy showgirl Kitty, Kalamere was quick to make nice with Red Riding Slayer Joey, and for the better part of the night seemed awfully friendly with her. Interesting! As much as I adore true-blue romances, I think I adore scandal just as much. Here is what I do know: That particular friendliness extends beyond Teagan and Jo. I think I would fall all over myself if I found out Kalamere was making moves on both! Someone keep an eye on that one!

Meanwhile, Kate arrived a bit later on the masked Lucien's arm (so identified by breathtaking snow-something-or-other Eless) looking just as righteously regal as Sylvia in a brown and black lace number. After the three caught up over drinks and murder conversation (it's been known to happen more often than you think), Kate and Lucien were heard apparently considering rounding the night out by papering the Governor's mansion. Against all odds, Lucien seemed all for it, and for some bizarre reason was in a ridiculously good mood for most of the night! Now that is a relief! It is so very rare that we get to see our good-looking Lucien in such great sorts. We can only hope that it lasts. Then again, I can't blame him. Spending time with Princess Kate just seems to have that delightful effect on people!

I'll bet by now you want to know who the murderer was don't you? Well too bad! If you want to know, you'll have to ask the cast!

Until next time, you stay sassy, RhyDin!