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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
The Top Ten Hottest New Women to Watch! January 14, 2010
Don't ask us why, but for some reason despite RhyDin's reputation, it is still an ever-growing cultural hotspot! New citizens are flocking to this place for who-knows-why in numbers that are just plain ridiculous. But thankfully, among the crazy amount of orcs and not-so-attractive emigrants, RhyDin is being blessed with some classic beauty. We at the Post have therefore handpicked a solid ten women who are relatively unknown to RhyDin, and think should be in the spotlight!
10. Susan So we hear this totally gorgeous elf isn't a stranger to RhyDin. Sources tell us she has been known to visit relatively often, actually, and that she's a rather talented musician. We have to admit; we were a little bored at first. No offense - elves are hot and everything, and Susan is no exception, but most just aren't candid enough to catch our eye! Susan has got those classic elfish good looks - delicate facial features, beautiful eyes, and a stellar body. But what sets Sue aside from all the dullards out there is" get this" she's a pirate! No joke! And apparently she's totally flippant about her thieving hobby! What a delightfully wicked, wicked little minx! We have a feeling she likes wearing the pants in the relationship, so we recommend a man easygoing enough to tolerate a snappy temper but butch enough to rein her in! Grab her before she escapes again, guys!
9. Sarah M. Before you say anything, we know. But Emmet, you poor excuse for an evolved fertilized ovum! Sarah is one of the quietest people known to RhyDin! WE KNOW! That's why we want you to keep an eye on her! Sheesh! This gal has got a whoooole story behind her, we think. Just look at her, RhyDin. A woman that beautiful does not sip her drink in silence for no reason. She's got to be thinking about things. She just breathes mystery, doesn't she" With a charming face and a vogue blunt haircut, we have to wonder why she hasn't been snatched up yet. So go on, RhyDin! Do some snatching!
8. Ixora O.K. We know Ixora has been around for a liiiiittle bit longer than some of our other list-members, but we can't help it. We are absolutely in love with this woman! Sadly, she is very rarely spotted in the Red Dragon Inn, if at all. But thanks to some good investigative journalism, we've gathered some info on her; and rest assured - we are still head-over-heels! Don't let her sweet appearance fool you? O.K. Do. She has the most piercing eyes, and flawlessly attractive looks that make us weak in the knees. But rumor has it she is a complete spitfire! You would think that someone who seems like such an introvert would be one of those meek little bookworms, but noooope! We've heard when she's on her own Ixora is a greedy, naughty little hussy! And you know what? We absolutely LOVE it! We sincerely hope that she beats the next poor sod who tries to make a halfhearted pass at her into submission. C"mon, guys! It'll take more than that to win over Tricksy Ixxy!
7. Vanessa We're obligated to include Vanessa on our list because we refuse to believe that she has been tamed! This totally rockin" nightclub owner started out being a total bad ass, but now we hear she's just all over this guy named Jaye. Yeah, alright, he's hot. But we're sorry to say he just reeks playboy. No way is a guy like that the bundle of sweetness he pretends to be. He's bound to break her heart; and when he does, we've got ten galleons that say he'll never walk right again. Until he does, though, she's been resigned to endless - GAG - cuddling with what?s-his-face in public. Keep an eye on this one, RhyDin, because once she and Sugarcube Jayeface call it quits, we'll have our firecracker back! We're counting the days!
6. Bambi V. Now, now, RhyDin. Not every gal that needs to be watched is an obnoxiously outgoing little vixen! Case in point, we have just discovered a sweet little thing named Bambi that just about makes our teeth hurt. She has bold, beautiful looks that only augment her darling personality. We've heard she is a shy, meek little thing, but despite her handicap she is very independent. We've just got to say that we find that incredibly attractive, RhyDin. The girl stands on her own two feet and doesn't take any nonsense from anybody! Speaking of nonsense, though, we hear she's been seen with some guy named Abel. We're just not sold on this pairing, though. He seems like he's got more going than he lets on. If he breaks her heart, you better believe he is going to hear from us!
5. Torie Egads. This scrumptious morsel of a human being has hardly been around for less than six months, and already she's a member of the Deangirls Club' Don't ask where we heard that, RhyDin. Gossip never sleeps! But we've got to admit, it's kind of catchy! It seems like Dean has got his own growing entourage, and this gorgeous fox is no exception. But we just have to ask though - all Torie's ever seen eating is junk food; how the crap does she stay looking so HOT all the time" What's your secret, babe? And don't tell us it's your metabolism, because we just don't buy it! All jealousy aside, we're not totally sure about what Torie's relationship preferences are, but we hope they take her away from the Deangirls. This rockin" buttercup needs to be the center of attention!
4. Jane S. What is it about those clumsy librarian types that are so flipping hot" We've said it before, and we'll say it again - businessy cats have a wild side to them. Just take a look at this overdressed little thing. Yeah, yeah, she seems a little awkward at first glance, right' The glasses and the clunky shoes don't really do much for us either. But get this" she's been spotted in Magenta's company. You heard us right! Magenta! Artful temptress Magenta! You know that if Jane caught that babe's eye she's got quite a bit more to her. We are willing to bet the precious all-thumbs Janey-poo is a complete predator behind closed doors. If Magenta has any sense, she'll free that caged tigress! We just hope we're there when she does!
3. Ashira Wowee. First things first. Have you seen this woman' Does she not have the most amazing body you have ever laid eyes on' Makes you want to just pose her in the middle of Town Square as a living statue and ogle her for a few hours. You know" if she didn't freeze to death. From what we've heard, Ashira is a little bit quiet, and a little bit quirky. Apparently she's really reserved and quite the private person. You don't want to know how many people we had to bribe just to find out this gorgeous woman's name! We would respect her privacy and everything, but' we just can't. She's waaaaay too interesting, and we are just itching to figure her out. This gal's got some mystery to her, we think, so keep your eyes on her, RhyDin! And let us know what you find out!
2. Fiora S. Ohhh yeah, RhyDin. You better believe we're head-over-heels for this luscious little ball of trouble! Does she like being called Fi" Can we call her Fi" We're going to call her Fi. Consider it copywrighted. We want ten cents every time someone says it. Luscious Fi is so hilariously over-the-top we can't help but love her! And apparently we're not the only ones who feel that way. She's been here less than six months, and we hear Fi is already hugely popular. It's no wonder, too! That gal has got rockin" looks - very beautiful, but not in a generic kind of way. She's just got this explosive personality that draws people to her like a moth to a flame. A very, very hot flame that will set you on fire with LUST! We're not entirely sure what her pairing situation is, but we are dying to find out! Get in there quick, boys!
1. Quinn Yeah, yeah. Quinn is alllll over the news these days, isn't she" But you know what? We're O.K. with it, though, because we can totally see why. Quinn is definitely one of the hottest new RhyDinians to watch because she has a dynamic personality and oh-my-god-marry-me looks. Alas, darling Quinn is yet another member of the Deangirls entourage. We completely aren't buying it. We want to see this hot young thing out on the market and making half a dozen poor sods run errands for her and cater to her every whim. What does she see in Dean' Or better yet, what does he see in her? They are two completely hot individuals with polar personalities. Plus we hear Dean tuh-hoootally lost his head not too long ago and decked some guy who was hitting on his girl. Not cool, Dean! The tough guy scenario only works if your gal is the damsel in distress type, which, we assure you, Quinn is not. We would much rather like it if these two were free and single; they would cause much more chaos apart than together. Someone break them up! The hotness needs to be spread around!
The Top Ten Hottest New Women to Watch! January 14, 2010
Don't ask us why, but for some reason despite RhyDin's reputation, it is still an ever-growing cultural hotspot! New citizens are flocking to this place for who-knows-why in numbers that are just plain ridiculous. But thankfully, among the crazy amount of orcs and not-so-attractive emigrants, RhyDin is being blessed with some classic beauty. We at the Post have therefore handpicked a solid ten women who are relatively unknown to RhyDin, and think should be in the spotlight!
10. Susan So we hear this totally gorgeous elf isn't a stranger to RhyDin. Sources tell us she has been known to visit relatively often, actually, and that she's a rather talented musician. We have to admit; we were a little bored at first. No offense - elves are hot and everything, and Susan is no exception, but most just aren't candid enough to catch our eye! Susan has got those classic elfish good looks - delicate facial features, beautiful eyes, and a stellar body. But what sets Sue aside from all the dullards out there is" get this" she's a pirate! No joke! And apparently she's totally flippant about her thieving hobby! What a delightfully wicked, wicked little minx! We have a feeling she likes wearing the pants in the relationship, so we recommend a man easygoing enough to tolerate a snappy temper but butch enough to rein her in! Grab her before she escapes again, guys!
9. Sarah M. Before you say anything, we know. But Emmet, you poor excuse for an evolved fertilized ovum! Sarah is one of the quietest people known to RhyDin! WE KNOW! That's why we want you to keep an eye on her! Sheesh! This gal has got a whoooole story behind her, we think. Just look at her, RhyDin. A woman that beautiful does not sip her drink in silence for no reason. She's got to be thinking about things. She just breathes mystery, doesn't she" With a charming face and a vogue blunt haircut, we have to wonder why she hasn't been snatched up yet. So go on, RhyDin! Do some snatching!
8. Ixora O.K. We know Ixora has been around for a liiiiittle bit longer than some of our other list-members, but we can't help it. We are absolutely in love with this woman! Sadly, she is very rarely spotted in the Red Dragon Inn, if at all. But thanks to some good investigative journalism, we've gathered some info on her; and rest assured - we are still head-over-heels! Don't let her sweet appearance fool you? O.K. Do. She has the most piercing eyes, and flawlessly attractive looks that make us weak in the knees. But rumor has it she is a complete spitfire! You would think that someone who seems like such an introvert would be one of those meek little bookworms, but noooope! We've heard when she's on her own Ixora is a greedy, naughty little hussy! And you know what? We absolutely LOVE it! We sincerely hope that she beats the next poor sod who tries to make a halfhearted pass at her into submission. C"mon, guys! It'll take more than that to win over Tricksy Ixxy!
7. Vanessa We're obligated to include Vanessa on our list because we refuse to believe that she has been tamed! This totally rockin" nightclub owner started out being a total bad ass, but now we hear she's just all over this guy named Jaye. Yeah, alright, he's hot. But we're sorry to say he just reeks playboy. No way is a guy like that the bundle of sweetness he pretends to be. He's bound to break her heart; and when he does, we've got ten galleons that say he'll never walk right again. Until he does, though, she's been resigned to endless - GAG - cuddling with what?s-his-face in public. Keep an eye on this one, RhyDin, because once she and Sugarcube Jayeface call it quits, we'll have our firecracker back! We're counting the days!
6. Bambi V. Now, now, RhyDin. Not every gal that needs to be watched is an obnoxiously outgoing little vixen! Case in point, we have just discovered a sweet little thing named Bambi that just about makes our teeth hurt. She has bold, beautiful looks that only augment her darling personality. We've heard she is a shy, meek little thing, but despite her handicap she is very independent. We've just got to say that we find that incredibly attractive, RhyDin. The girl stands on her own two feet and doesn't take any nonsense from anybody! Speaking of nonsense, though, we hear she's been seen with some guy named Abel. We're just not sold on this pairing, though. He seems like he's got more going than he lets on. If he breaks her heart, you better believe he is going to hear from us!
5. Torie Egads. This scrumptious morsel of a human being has hardly been around for less than six months, and already she's a member of the Deangirls Club' Don't ask where we heard that, RhyDin. Gossip never sleeps! But we've got to admit, it's kind of catchy! It seems like Dean has got his own growing entourage, and this gorgeous fox is no exception. But we just have to ask though - all Torie's ever seen eating is junk food; how the crap does she stay looking so HOT all the time" What's your secret, babe? And don't tell us it's your metabolism, because we just don't buy it! All jealousy aside, we're not totally sure about what Torie's relationship preferences are, but we hope they take her away from the Deangirls. This rockin" buttercup needs to be the center of attention!
4. Jane S. What is it about those clumsy librarian types that are so flipping hot" We've said it before, and we'll say it again - businessy cats have a wild side to them. Just take a look at this overdressed little thing. Yeah, yeah, she seems a little awkward at first glance, right' The glasses and the clunky shoes don't really do much for us either. But get this" she's been spotted in Magenta's company. You heard us right! Magenta! Artful temptress Magenta! You know that if Jane caught that babe's eye she's got quite a bit more to her. We are willing to bet the precious all-thumbs Janey-poo is a complete predator behind closed doors. If Magenta has any sense, she'll free that caged tigress! We just hope we're there when she does!
3. Ashira Wowee. First things first. Have you seen this woman' Does she not have the most amazing body you have ever laid eyes on' Makes you want to just pose her in the middle of Town Square as a living statue and ogle her for a few hours. You know" if she didn't freeze to death. From what we've heard, Ashira is a little bit quiet, and a little bit quirky. Apparently she's really reserved and quite the private person. You don't want to know how many people we had to bribe just to find out this gorgeous woman's name! We would respect her privacy and everything, but' we just can't. She's waaaaay too interesting, and we are just itching to figure her out. This gal's got some mystery to her, we think, so keep your eyes on her, RhyDin! And let us know what you find out!
2. Fiora S. Ohhh yeah, RhyDin. You better believe we're head-over-heels for this luscious little ball of trouble! Does she like being called Fi" Can we call her Fi" We're going to call her Fi. Consider it copywrighted. We want ten cents every time someone says it. Luscious Fi is so hilariously over-the-top we can't help but love her! And apparently we're not the only ones who feel that way. She's been here less than six months, and we hear Fi is already hugely popular. It's no wonder, too! That gal has got rockin" looks - very beautiful, but not in a generic kind of way. She's just got this explosive personality that draws people to her like a moth to a flame. A very, very hot flame that will set you on fire with LUST! We're not entirely sure what her pairing situation is, but we are dying to find out! Get in there quick, boys!
1. Quinn Yeah, yeah. Quinn is alllll over the news these days, isn't she" But you know what? We're O.K. with it, though, because we can totally see why. Quinn is definitely one of the hottest new RhyDinians to watch because she has a dynamic personality and oh-my-god-marry-me looks. Alas, darling Quinn is yet another member of the Deangirls entourage. We completely aren't buying it. We want to see this hot young thing out on the market and making half a dozen poor sods run errands for her and cater to her every whim. What does she see in Dean' Or better yet, what does he see in her? They are two completely hot individuals with polar personalities. Plus we hear Dean tuh-hoootally lost his head not too long ago and decked some guy who was hitting on his girl. Not cool, Dean! The tough guy scenario only works if your gal is the damsel in distress type, which, we assure you, Quinn is not. We would much rather like it if these two were free and single; they would cause much more chaos apart than together. Someone break them up! The hotness needs to be spread around!