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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
Thirty Beltane Booths They'll Never Have (Or Maybe Might)! April 14, 2011
BELTAAAAAAAAAAANE!
It's like Madness for flirts. My whole year revolves around this and it's almost upon us! I can't hardly wait to take all my clothes off, lather up in jell-o, and sing Shakespearian sonnets while taking shots of faewine on top of the buffet table. Again.
That was such a good year.
Who knows what kinds of Beltane booths are going to pop up this 2011" Here at the gossip column we contemplated a few ideas for what certain RhyDinians would rock (and fail miserably) at running. As for whether we'd actually want to see these booths up and running is up for debate. But hey, I guess if you have enough faewine anything is possible.
Without further ado, I give you: Beltane Booths They'll Never Have (Or Maybe They Might)!
G'rope G'nort! Just Ten G'old!
Rekah's Dentistry Booth Buy one root canal, get the next six free!
Aradam's Archery Aiming optional.
Taneth's Brain Teasers If a pompom falls in the Arena and no one hears it, who dropped my freaking pompom"!
Rhys's Ring Toss Not like he'll be using them to commit.
Aja Bird for PETAEC People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals Except Cats
Collie's Dating Tips The eighteen-minute gap on the tapes will be published.
Slothy's Fashions Clothes are so out this year.
Chester's Haunted House If he doesn't scare the panties off you, he'll gladly remove them himself.
Kalinda's Kissing Booth Just the mouth this time.
Harris's School of Diplomacy Making enemies faster than we can kill them, one day at a time.
Seirichi's Henna Applied with a henna cone or a poison-tipped stiletto. Same difference.
Dyarhk's Deadly Darts You couldn't axe for a better time!
Fiora's Free Footrubs We love the smell of B.O.
Sal's Delicacies The red all over everything is just corn syrup. Blood flavored corn syrup.
EmDoc's STD Screenings Refer your friends and get free Chlamydia!
Mur's Mini-Golf Now with Seligman electrocution level!
Aya's Awesome Apple Pies The secret ingredient is death.
Darkmere's Duets and Dancing Shrieking banshees in bright pink welcome!
Icer's Family Planning Booth Offering dragon-sized prevention in easy-open packages.
Sin's Sitting Room Yes. He'll actually be there.
Deathlord 'n' Evan's Skin-Stripping Awake feeling refreshed, renewed, and a quivering mass of bloody pulp. Ten gold per beauty treatment. All proceeds go to Save the Ferrets Foundation.
Gwen's Fantastic Fortunes I see stabbities in your future! And your brother will die. But also stabbities!
Cor's Cartwheel Classes Look, Ma! No hands!
Tara's Roach Racing The only things in RhyDin that go faster than virginity.
Jake's Jewels Just as precious above the clothes as they are below.
Samiel's Social Network Tent For the last time, I'm not adding a f*&ing dislike button.
Lelah's Lion Taming Uh' Of course it's not CG!
Aristigus's Advice Booth Step One: Collect underpants. Step Two: ? Step Three: Profit.
Vex's Vegan Vittles Now made with real manflesh flavor!
Thirty Beltane Booths They'll Never Have (Or Maybe Might)! April 14, 2011
BELTAAAAAAAAAAANE!
It's like Madness for flirts. My whole year revolves around this and it's almost upon us! I can't hardly wait to take all my clothes off, lather up in jell-o, and sing Shakespearian sonnets while taking shots of faewine on top of the buffet table. Again.
That was such a good year.
Who knows what kinds of Beltane booths are going to pop up this 2011" Here at the gossip column we contemplated a few ideas for what certain RhyDinians would rock (and fail miserably) at running. As for whether we'd actually want to see these booths up and running is up for debate. But hey, I guess if you have enough faewine anything is possible.
Without further ado, I give you: Beltane Booths They'll Never Have (Or Maybe They Might)!
G'rope G'nort! Just Ten G'old!
Rekah's Dentistry Booth Buy one root canal, get the next six free!
Aradam's Archery Aiming optional.
Taneth's Brain Teasers If a pompom falls in the Arena and no one hears it, who dropped my freaking pompom"!
Rhys's Ring Toss Not like he'll be using them to commit.
Aja Bird for PETAEC People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals Except Cats
Collie's Dating Tips The eighteen-minute gap on the tapes will be published.
Slothy's Fashions Clothes are so out this year.
Chester's Haunted House If he doesn't scare the panties off you, he'll gladly remove them himself.
Kalinda's Kissing Booth Just the mouth this time.
Harris's School of Diplomacy Making enemies faster than we can kill them, one day at a time.
Seirichi's Henna Applied with a henna cone or a poison-tipped stiletto. Same difference.
Dyarhk's Deadly Darts You couldn't axe for a better time!
Fiora's Free Footrubs We love the smell of B.O.
Sal's Delicacies The red all over everything is just corn syrup. Blood flavored corn syrup.
EmDoc's STD Screenings Refer your friends and get free Chlamydia!
Mur's Mini-Golf Now with Seligman electrocution level!
Aya's Awesome Apple Pies The secret ingredient is death.
Darkmere's Duets and Dancing Shrieking banshees in bright pink welcome!
Icer's Family Planning Booth Offering dragon-sized prevention in easy-open packages.
Sin's Sitting Room Yes. He'll actually be there.
Deathlord 'n' Evan's Skin-Stripping Awake feeling refreshed, renewed, and a quivering mass of bloody pulp. Ten gold per beauty treatment. All proceeds go to Save the Ferrets Foundation.
Gwen's Fantastic Fortunes I see stabbities in your future! And your brother will die. But also stabbities!
Cor's Cartwheel Classes Look, Ma! No hands!
Tara's Roach Racing The only things in RhyDin that go faster than virginity.
Jake's Jewels Just as precious above the clothes as they are below.
Samiel's Social Network Tent For the last time, I'm not adding a f*&ing dislike button.
Lelah's Lion Taming Uh' Of course it's not CG!
Aristigus's Advice Booth Step One: Collect underpants. Step Two: ? Step Three: Profit.
Vex's Vegan Vittles Now made with real manflesh flavor!