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Junior Columnist: Ashley Weatherl
The Post's List of Top 25 Sexiest Men in RhyDin for 2010! December 7, 2010
Drum roll, please!
25. David Jones Just because the he-gossipers of the world have some kind of evil vendetta against this familiar face, it doesn't mean that I have to leave him off a list he is clearly suited for! Lords and ladies, since you do not know me as well as my male gossip counterpart, let it be known that I - like many of you women out there today - tend to have this thing for washboard abs that you can easily iron a shirt on. Let it also be known that I am a sucker for that corn-fed Iowa boy charm (though I have absolutely zero idea where this gent comes from). But compound that with conversations about spanking and bales of hay, and everything just kind of goes white and tastes like Dots candy for a little while. From what my sources tell me our David here is a gentleman, and seems to be totally, adorably into his girl these days. So who are you really going to believe, RhyDin" Me or that jealous counterpart of mine"
24. Tristan Larson There is always a Yin to every Yang, folks! Whether he's the Yin or the Yang in the AjaStan relationship (cut me some slack on the mashup - I've been doing nothing but ogling headshots of men all night and eating stale powdered doughnuts) we're not too sure, but one thing is for certain: that opposite theory is kind of embodied here. For every bit as perky and over-the-top as his girl, Aja, is, Tristan is calm and steady as a rock. Plus he's got the always-attractive blonde hair/blue eyes combo, and though that is a marriage of traits that often tends to wear men more than be worn, Tristan models it effectively and evens every sharp cut of his personality or body with a well-rounded sense of humor and good manners. They sure do teach those boys well down at the yards!
23. Artemus Kurgen It has come to my attention that some of you out there consider me to be superficial and shallow when it comes to my taste in men. First of all, excuse me if I respect the Olympian ideal and like to see some muscle rippling beneath the shirt. I'm sure you will agree with me that those kinds of standards aren't that much of a vice in RhyDin. And secondly, I'm not just proving a point by including the often grizzly- or mature-looking Art on the list of 25 Sexiest Men. All of us at the Gossip Column agree that Art has his own brand of attractiveness that lay both atop and beneath his skin - in the form of unmatched talent in dueling endeavors (most notably magic, we've heard), excellent instructional ability as a mentor, a terrific sense of humor, and a truly unparalleled amiability that he extends to all around him. And that, lords and ladies, is something truly sexy.
22. Jolyon Gardiner He's a professor, a vintner, an archeologist, and a charmer all in one. What's not to like" Jolyon makes a repeat appearance on our list for more than a handful of reasons - and the case of Rumors Mill lying in my basement, I assure you, has nothing whatsoever to do with them. In all our observations of Jolyon, we have never once seen him act like anything but a complete and utter gentleman. But his dashing good looks and his excellent manners often pale in comparison to his brilliance - as evidenced by his business know-how and extensive historical knowledge of many ancient Terran technologies. One needs only to take a tour through the Rumors Mill vineyards to see his genius in action! Oh, and when you do, bring us back a case of something, will you? Barbaresco or Chianti will do.
21. Ewan Corinsson I'll admit it. I'm a sucker for a gentleman. And there's nothing I like more than a guy who is quite obviously good with kids. Alright, so Taneth isn't exactly a kid, but her sweetness and bubbliness puts her close enough a lot of times in my opinion. And in our observations, Ewan has never been anything but unerringly patient and kind - and not just to Tannie-bubbles. According to friends, Ewan is more than a little bit charming and courteous - and yet at the same time, he is almost always spotted sporting some kind of armor getup, or at least is armed. Goodness me! That there is a man we wouldn't mind one bit going into battle with' or surrendering to!
20. Jake Thrash One does not simply walk into the Outback. Its rings are guarded by more than just wards. There are fanatics and drunkards there that do not sleep. But thankfully the Thrash and Crash-inspired Jake Thrash is not one of them. Jake makes it onto our list for being a true man's man. A veteran in the Duel of Fists, when Jake isn't spending time beating his opponents into a bloody pulp, he is carrying out his duties as the owner and proprietor of the Red Orc Brewery - the establishment we have to thank for the very popular Badsider beer. But Jake is more than just a handsome face and a pair of deadly mitts. He is a bit of a father-type around the dueling venues. Though he is not short on competitive edge, Jake rejoices in seeing fighting fledglings make a name for themselves, and has even been known to take a duelist or two under his wing. Let's be frank, people. Even with his fist flying at your face, it is impossible to dislike Jake Thrash.
19. Sheridan Driscol I have a confession to make, Rhypeople. We don't really think that Dris deserves to be all the way down at number nineteen; in fact, a vote in our office put him up in the top five. But my confession is this: Putting him down this low is our secret plan to flush him out of hiding. See. We know that Dris is sexy and irresistible. But more than that, Dris knows that Dris is sexy and irresistible. And we know that Dris knows that Dris is sexy and irresistible. And we'll bet he knows that too. So we're secretly hoping that he will be so outraged by this placement that he will write us or show up on our doorstep and demand a recount - I mean' demand a reprint. Don't get us wrong, though. We're not doing this for the sake of politics. We're doing this because we sincerely think that a day without Dris and his smexiness is a day that makes everyone just a little bit sad.
18. David Lo Riley doesn't call him a Chinese dish for no reason, people. Ex-Constable Hotstuff has been one of our favorites ever since he waltzed through the Inn's doors in uniform. Though Hotstuff tends to be one of the quieter sorts, he does this shadowy thing in his gal's presence that makes us all giddy and full of fluff on the inside. See, whenever E.C.H. and wily Riley are in the same room together, their movements tend to accommodate one another - like two cogs in the same machine. It's really interesting to watch, and in most other circumstances that mushiness might prompt us to pop a Pepto. But have you seen the man' And you thought Riley made us growl with appreciation. As a result of their explosive sexual energy, that pair is and probably will remain one of our favorite super couples. We fully expect their wedding celebration to be hot, hot HOT!
17. London It is no secret how much we love us some London over here, and not simply because his classic good looks tend to make myself and the she-interns drool all over the illegal headshots we took of him. While some men like Jake catch our eye for his manliness and larger-than-life personality, it is London's understated disposition that has always piqued our interest. Though he is ridiculously handsome, he doesn't flaunt it - nor does he have to, as it seems (based on our often-faulty surveillance of his personal business) he and his partner are doing quite well in the romance department. London makes it onto our list for being the quiet, artsy sort' although realistically speaking, it would be much more rewarding to see a painting or a statue made of him! Wowza!
16. Johnny Smith Yeah, yeah. So an argument could be made that we have a thing for a lot of the tenders at the Red Dragon Inn. But as previously mentioned in multiple articles before this one, most of the employees and drink-slingers at our favorite place (for getting wasted or shot) tend to be the most desirable RhyDinians ever. Case in point, Johnny Smith. Johnny is not only friendly and endearing, but rumor has it he can be a truly excellent shoulder or an ear to turn to when you're having a tough time. It's not often bartenders in a busy place like the R.D.I. can spare a moment to listen to you spill your sorrows, but Johnny is just that kind of fellow - the one who will hang up his apron and forgo his tips for the entire night just to make you feel a little bit better. Plus he's a total family man - the kind that boasts on his loved ones incessantly - which makes him aces in our book. In a sense, Johnny really is everyone's brother. And that kind of selfless personality makes him truly one of the sexiest men in RhyDin!
15. Vincent Smith Magic dude Vinny reminds us a little bit of that "most interesting" guy in that Terran television commercial. Cue the dramatic music. He ascended to Archmage because he wanted extra storage space for his trophies. His Nether Ray is the only "spell" in dueling history that is having an identity crisis. His enemies list him as their emergency contact. He is always on time, yet somehow manages to arrive fashionably late. He is" the most arrogant man in RhyDin. Don't get us wrong, though. We never said arrogance couldn't be sexy, and the sometimes-conceited front that Vinny puts up still doesn't detract from his attractiveness or his charm. If he decides to make commercials of himself following the publishing of this article, however, we may reconsider.
14. Leo Christos It's fairly often that most of our favorites at the Gossip Column come in pairs. Riley and David. Scotty and Harold. Eva and Mason. Fio and Ali. Sal and Sin. But while Leo has been spotted now and again with one of RhyDin's newest hotties, Gigi, he, we've found, is one of the few fellows around here that can impress us all on his own. Set aside that body of his that makes every man green with envy and turns every woman temporarily into an unstable test tube of teeming hormones. And let alone his piercing eyes that penetrate the soul, or his bad-boy attitude that winds women up in all the right places. What you have left is a very desirable man who is actually quite astute. We're willing to bet that his playboy fa"ade is some kind of cover for an intellect that scores off the charts. But between you and me" I'm rather glad that he spends his time and intelligence on flirting, and not on dumb things like books or research.
13. Scotty The list of RhyDin's sexiest men isn't the only thing Scotty is climbing these days, if you get what we're saying. Wink, wink. Good LORD, people! Get your minds out of the gutter! We were talking about climbing the corporate ladder! SHEESH! And by corporate, we're actually referring to the faaaabulous job that our favorite Scot has as a tender at the Red Dragon Inn. If you're no stranger to our Gossip Column, you know by now that Scotty and his man Harold are a pair that we are huge fans of. And we're not talking "hi, here's this year's Christmas card with our ugly mugs on it" fans. No, we're talking about squeal moments when we see one or the other out in public. Our Scotty makes it onto the list of sexiest RhyDin men because despite his good looks and dashing debonair smile, he hilariously decides to use his evil powers of wit and charm to entice RhyDinians into being just a little bit more scandalous on his shifts - say, with rounds or three of Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare drinking games. So which will it be then, Scotty' Truth' Or dare"
12. Victor Kazon Not a lot of the intense sort makes it onto our radar, but boy howdy does Victor ever make us go starry-eyed with fascination. This tasty morsel of something spicy is rarely - if ever - spotted without the sex-imbued femme Anyanka on his arm, but you better believe that doesn't make him stand out any less. Victor's sangfroid temperament and cleverness savors a little of an aristocrat, but his every tiniest gesture is rife with vivid, fiery passion' so much so that just looking at the man makes us smell a little bit like a smokehouse. We could honestly make billions selling Vic's and Anyanka's faces on bottles of colognes or perfumes, simply because everybody should want to have a little bit of their essence with them. Those two are sex on a plate, and we'd like seconds - with an extra helping to go, if that's not too much to ask.
11. Nigel Alder I know that subtlety is often the name of the game here and has been visited before, but our coveted Nigel here has it in spades. A man of few words, Nigel isn't often seen in circumstances that merit much attention. But this man exhibits a nature unlike any other; there is a complexity to him - a certain secret or a knowing that lies behind his eyes. He gets a look sometimes like he's seen the world, and he's lived the future - that he knows what is going to happen, and all this is happening to him for the second time - but still he wouldn't change one thing about it. Nigel is a brilliant man; we have no doubt about that. And that he doesn't waste words on things that don't need to be said only makes him all the more captivating in our eyes. And that wisdom and obscurity in his character is what draws us to him' and probably will for a very long time.
10. Kalamere Well he doesn't have his own G.D. cheerleading team for no reason. I find it staggeringly hilarious that so many of these people on RhyDin who have been around for what seems like foreeeeever still show up to get stabbed and completely smashed looking like they just celebrated their twenty-first. And believe you me, if anyone can get stabbed in style it's this guy right here. The Baron of Battlefield Park, word has it Kal has been spotted quite a few times in the company of the always gorgeous Teagan Rielea. Sources even confirm rumors that she frequents the haunted mansion located on his estate (and no, we're not talking about the Disneyland attraction, folks). Spooky! Well I don't know what the deal there is, but I can honestly say I don't blame her. There is something fabulous about a man who has no fear of pale, soulless husks. Or ghosts, either.
9. Rand al'Tan We're not exactly sure when exactly Rand became a blip on our radar, but we're fairly certain he gave all our equipment the BSOD when he started sporting skin-tight clothes to all his important affairs and flirting shamelessly with other men. And speaking of affairs" are we hallucinating, or isn't Rand married" Whether he is or not, we honestly haven't gotten one single glimpse of wifey, and we've been stalking - that is" we've been observing Rand rather frequently with big expensive binoculars. So if not, kudos to him for getting his tight' assets" back into the game. But if so, we do have to admit it takes some serious cojones to parade a hot young thing around in public like that with a ring on your finger. So we'll give it to Rand: He certainly is full of testi" well, he's full of a certain kind of fortitude is all we're saying.
8. G'nort Dragoon-Talanador I know what you're thinking, RhyDin. The answer is yes, I do understand the meaning of "sexy." And no, I don't think it is synonymous with "sleazy." Because while we'll admit that G'nort has on occasion lost control of his hands" and feet' and pelvis" we still do respect a man who can be so tenaciously vulgar, even in the face of certain death. After all, G'nort has been known to hit on women waaaaaay out of his league - those women coincidentally carrying waaaaaay sharp things that could waaaaay maim very sensitive parts of male anatomy. Call it foolhardy if you will, but we happen to find G'nort's confidence and persistence appealing. There. We admitted it. But to be honest, now we're terrified saying such things will inflate his ego so much it will carry him away.
7. Mason Even though mancandy Mason hasn't made too many public appearances of late, like his gorgeous lady Eva we feel obligated to include him on our list simply because he has been and probably will remain one of our absolute favorite RhyDinians ever. Mason seems like a stern, standoffish sort of fellow upon first impressions, but once you get to know him (or ensure he has a few brewskies in his sytem), he really has a heart of gold" and the naughtiness of a cat in a canary cage. No word yet on what he's busying himself with these days, but we do hope it is something deliciously scandalous!
6. Antonio Falconne In our eyes, Antonio is a bit like the Austin Powers of the RhyDin Realm. Women want him; men want to be him. And men want him. While I realize I'm only confirming the suspicions that R.D.I. tenders get special treatment when it comes to pondering where the sexiness of RhyDin is concentrated, you all have to agree with me that the Falcon is one delicious, delicious piece of delicious deliciousness. But all thoughts of using sundae toppings on him aside, word has it this handsome, congenial fellow is due to have a new pair of little ones any day now with his lovely (albeit flirty) wife EmDoc. That there is a couple that is positively oooozing with appeal, as Antonio seems to be of the opinion that the healthy way to live involves almost always giving into temptation. In that case, I will take that third helping of tres leches, thank you.
5. Tasslehofl Momus Getting kissed by Tass is one of the rites of passage here in RhyDin. Seriously. If you haven't been macked on by this charming old man, then you honestly can't consider yourself a true RhyDinian. And yes, we are talking to both men and women here, as this institution of a man is blind to gender. And age. And race. It just goes to show you, lords and ladies: You can not put an age limit on sex appeal, as we are fairly certain that Tass is the kind of fellow that lives and breathes it day to day. He's an icon for you meeklings (like weaklings, only' yeah) out there, constantly encouraging you to embrace your sexy side and do some hardcore flirting. Thus, Tass makes our list for spreading the fine art of physicality around this realm. Take notes!
4. Wolvinator Our gnawable Wolvinator made it onto our list last year simply because of his roguish smile and a body that I could chew on and eat off of religiously. But this year, Wolvinator makes it back on and higher because he is using his dashing good looks to fight crime in the public eye as the Minister of Defense. While what he is really doing in that office is one big secret and he doesn't make too many public appearances, the few times we have caught Wolvinator around the city, he has always made sure to shoot us a happy smile and ask us how our day is" which we would find completely endearing, if we weren't so busy staring at his chest. Call me superficial again, but I swear he's like the male equivalent of Kitty. The eyes just naturally go to the curves. Rumor has it he and his beautiful new wife Aly are doing fabulously - not that we had any doubt about that, seeing as that pair is a match made in heaven. When, oh when, can we expect to see some little Wolvies and Alys making mischief around these parts"
3. Lucien Viktor Mallorek He's quiet, he sips his scotch, and he diverts most of Tara's ruinous and deleterious attention. What more could a girl want' Lucky (a.k.a. Lucien) generally tends to be a pretty private person, but there is something about his presence that just makes us comfortable. Even though the man is known to draw conflict and all the wrong kinds of attention from time to time, his personality and overall disposition is still the kind that is extraordinarily magnetic - so much so that I'm afraid to carry my credit cards around him. Rumor has it Lucky has been spending an aaaawful lot of time at his shipyard and not terribly much time on the town enjoying himself. More than that, the few times he has been spotted oot and aboot, he has been chilling all by his lonesome! With a face that makes our eyes glaze-over and a presence that causes us to be all a-twitter with love, we can't imagine any reason why such a sexy, sexy specimen would ever be lacking in company. Could all not be right in Lucky Town" I certainly hope not!
2. Matthew Algiers Simon Does gover-resilient Matt necessarily have to be campaigning for an office to have posters made of him' Because if not, I'm totally not going to sell these. Matt has skyrocketed up to number two on our list not because of the noteworthy absence of a certain, sinful pair of gentlemen (which honestly makes me more than a little bit sad), but actually because we have seen a completely new side of Matt this year - and it truly makes me shiver with delight! When gover-resilient Matt was busying himself on a gubernatorial power trip, we unfortunately only got to see the diplomatic - and often bland - side of him. But since he's been out of office, not only have we gotten a taste of Matt's temper (which could set asbestos on fire. Seriously), but we have also had an opportunity to meet the irresponsible side of him. And I'll be honest, after seeing poor Matt so strung out those two years on political nonsense, it really is a rewarding thing to see the man let loose. We honestly never pegged Matt as a guy who lives on extremes, but if this is the direction he's decided to go in, we have to say we like it! No, we love it!
1. Alain DeMuer And last, but certainly not least, we give you the most sexiest man in RhyDin: Alain DeMuer! What is it about the strong silent type that makes us fall all over ourselves with glee" Truth be told, Alain was a shoe-in for the number one slot purely based off his irresistibly carefree perspective on life. Whether he's not actually quite that carefree we're not exactly certain, but Alain has just always struck us as the kind of man who would simply light up a smoke and shrug if he found out that a meteor was about to crash into the planet in ten seconds and destroy all life as we know it. For some bizarre reason that escapes our imagination, Alain is most often spotted smoking and having a drink by his lonesome at the 'ol R.D.I., and even that - and this hurts us to say - isn't terribly often. Since giving up his claim on his brainchild of a company, it begs the question: just what is the Baron doing with his spare time" Is it something scandalous" Is it something sexy' Is it something that will make us shriek in terror or applaud with pride? And if so, can we interest you in a book deal about it' Whatever the case may be, Alain is never without his cloak of mystery and nonchalance, nestled securely in that dangerously attractive exterior that makes us swooooon and want to throw roses in the wake left by his motorcycle exhaust. But even if we did, we have a sneaking feeling he would only shrug, light up a smoke, and race off to do other secret things. Just one of the many, many reasons why Alain DeMuer is the sexiest man in RhyDin!
The Post's List of Top 25 Sexiest Men in RhyDin for 2010! December 7, 2010
Drum roll, please!
25. David Jones Just because the he-gossipers of the world have some kind of evil vendetta against this familiar face, it doesn't mean that I have to leave him off a list he is clearly suited for! Lords and ladies, since you do not know me as well as my male gossip counterpart, let it be known that I - like many of you women out there today - tend to have this thing for washboard abs that you can easily iron a shirt on. Let it also be known that I am a sucker for that corn-fed Iowa boy charm (though I have absolutely zero idea where this gent comes from). But compound that with conversations about spanking and bales of hay, and everything just kind of goes white and tastes like Dots candy for a little while. From what my sources tell me our David here is a gentleman, and seems to be totally, adorably into his girl these days. So who are you really going to believe, RhyDin" Me or that jealous counterpart of mine"
24. Tristan Larson There is always a Yin to every Yang, folks! Whether he's the Yin or the Yang in the AjaStan relationship (cut me some slack on the mashup - I've been doing nothing but ogling headshots of men all night and eating stale powdered doughnuts) we're not too sure, but one thing is for certain: that opposite theory is kind of embodied here. For every bit as perky and over-the-top as his girl, Aja, is, Tristan is calm and steady as a rock. Plus he's got the always-attractive blonde hair/blue eyes combo, and though that is a marriage of traits that often tends to wear men more than be worn, Tristan models it effectively and evens every sharp cut of his personality or body with a well-rounded sense of humor and good manners. They sure do teach those boys well down at the yards!
23. Artemus Kurgen It has come to my attention that some of you out there consider me to be superficial and shallow when it comes to my taste in men. First of all, excuse me if I respect the Olympian ideal and like to see some muscle rippling beneath the shirt. I'm sure you will agree with me that those kinds of standards aren't that much of a vice in RhyDin. And secondly, I'm not just proving a point by including the often grizzly- or mature-looking Art on the list of 25 Sexiest Men. All of us at the Gossip Column agree that Art has his own brand of attractiveness that lay both atop and beneath his skin - in the form of unmatched talent in dueling endeavors (most notably magic, we've heard), excellent instructional ability as a mentor, a terrific sense of humor, and a truly unparalleled amiability that he extends to all around him. And that, lords and ladies, is something truly sexy.
22. Jolyon Gardiner He's a professor, a vintner, an archeologist, and a charmer all in one. What's not to like" Jolyon makes a repeat appearance on our list for more than a handful of reasons - and the case of Rumors Mill lying in my basement, I assure you, has nothing whatsoever to do with them. In all our observations of Jolyon, we have never once seen him act like anything but a complete and utter gentleman. But his dashing good looks and his excellent manners often pale in comparison to his brilliance - as evidenced by his business know-how and extensive historical knowledge of many ancient Terran technologies. One needs only to take a tour through the Rumors Mill vineyards to see his genius in action! Oh, and when you do, bring us back a case of something, will you? Barbaresco or Chianti will do.
21. Ewan Corinsson I'll admit it. I'm a sucker for a gentleman. And there's nothing I like more than a guy who is quite obviously good with kids. Alright, so Taneth isn't exactly a kid, but her sweetness and bubbliness puts her close enough a lot of times in my opinion. And in our observations, Ewan has never been anything but unerringly patient and kind - and not just to Tannie-bubbles. According to friends, Ewan is more than a little bit charming and courteous - and yet at the same time, he is almost always spotted sporting some kind of armor getup, or at least is armed. Goodness me! That there is a man we wouldn't mind one bit going into battle with' or surrendering to!
20. Jake Thrash One does not simply walk into the Outback. Its rings are guarded by more than just wards. There are fanatics and drunkards there that do not sleep. But thankfully the Thrash and Crash-inspired Jake Thrash is not one of them. Jake makes it onto our list for being a true man's man. A veteran in the Duel of Fists, when Jake isn't spending time beating his opponents into a bloody pulp, he is carrying out his duties as the owner and proprietor of the Red Orc Brewery - the establishment we have to thank for the very popular Badsider beer. But Jake is more than just a handsome face and a pair of deadly mitts. He is a bit of a father-type around the dueling venues. Though he is not short on competitive edge, Jake rejoices in seeing fighting fledglings make a name for themselves, and has even been known to take a duelist or two under his wing. Let's be frank, people. Even with his fist flying at your face, it is impossible to dislike Jake Thrash.
19. Sheridan Driscol I have a confession to make, Rhypeople. We don't really think that Dris deserves to be all the way down at number nineteen; in fact, a vote in our office put him up in the top five. But my confession is this: Putting him down this low is our secret plan to flush him out of hiding. See. We know that Dris is sexy and irresistible. But more than that, Dris knows that Dris is sexy and irresistible. And we know that Dris knows that Dris is sexy and irresistible. And we'll bet he knows that too. So we're secretly hoping that he will be so outraged by this placement that he will write us or show up on our doorstep and demand a recount - I mean' demand a reprint. Don't get us wrong, though. We're not doing this for the sake of politics. We're doing this because we sincerely think that a day without Dris and his smexiness is a day that makes everyone just a little bit sad.
18. David Lo Riley doesn't call him a Chinese dish for no reason, people. Ex-Constable Hotstuff has been one of our favorites ever since he waltzed through the Inn's doors in uniform. Though Hotstuff tends to be one of the quieter sorts, he does this shadowy thing in his gal's presence that makes us all giddy and full of fluff on the inside. See, whenever E.C.H. and wily Riley are in the same room together, their movements tend to accommodate one another - like two cogs in the same machine. It's really interesting to watch, and in most other circumstances that mushiness might prompt us to pop a Pepto. But have you seen the man' And you thought Riley made us growl with appreciation. As a result of their explosive sexual energy, that pair is and probably will remain one of our favorite super couples. We fully expect their wedding celebration to be hot, hot HOT!
17. London It is no secret how much we love us some London over here, and not simply because his classic good looks tend to make myself and the she-interns drool all over the illegal headshots we took of him. While some men like Jake catch our eye for his manliness and larger-than-life personality, it is London's understated disposition that has always piqued our interest. Though he is ridiculously handsome, he doesn't flaunt it - nor does he have to, as it seems (based on our often-faulty surveillance of his personal business) he and his partner are doing quite well in the romance department. London makes it onto our list for being the quiet, artsy sort' although realistically speaking, it would be much more rewarding to see a painting or a statue made of him! Wowza!
16. Johnny Smith Yeah, yeah. So an argument could be made that we have a thing for a lot of the tenders at the Red Dragon Inn. But as previously mentioned in multiple articles before this one, most of the employees and drink-slingers at our favorite place (for getting wasted or shot) tend to be the most desirable RhyDinians ever. Case in point, Johnny Smith. Johnny is not only friendly and endearing, but rumor has it he can be a truly excellent shoulder or an ear to turn to when you're having a tough time. It's not often bartenders in a busy place like the R.D.I. can spare a moment to listen to you spill your sorrows, but Johnny is just that kind of fellow - the one who will hang up his apron and forgo his tips for the entire night just to make you feel a little bit better. Plus he's a total family man - the kind that boasts on his loved ones incessantly - which makes him aces in our book. In a sense, Johnny really is everyone's brother. And that kind of selfless personality makes him truly one of the sexiest men in RhyDin!
15. Vincent Smith Magic dude Vinny reminds us a little bit of that "most interesting" guy in that Terran television commercial. Cue the dramatic music. He ascended to Archmage because he wanted extra storage space for his trophies. His Nether Ray is the only "spell" in dueling history that is having an identity crisis. His enemies list him as their emergency contact. He is always on time, yet somehow manages to arrive fashionably late. He is" the most arrogant man in RhyDin. Don't get us wrong, though. We never said arrogance couldn't be sexy, and the sometimes-conceited front that Vinny puts up still doesn't detract from his attractiveness or his charm. If he decides to make commercials of himself following the publishing of this article, however, we may reconsider.
14. Leo Christos It's fairly often that most of our favorites at the Gossip Column come in pairs. Riley and David. Scotty and Harold. Eva and Mason. Fio and Ali. Sal and Sin. But while Leo has been spotted now and again with one of RhyDin's newest hotties, Gigi, he, we've found, is one of the few fellows around here that can impress us all on his own. Set aside that body of his that makes every man green with envy and turns every woman temporarily into an unstable test tube of teeming hormones. And let alone his piercing eyes that penetrate the soul, or his bad-boy attitude that winds women up in all the right places. What you have left is a very desirable man who is actually quite astute. We're willing to bet that his playboy fa"ade is some kind of cover for an intellect that scores off the charts. But between you and me" I'm rather glad that he spends his time and intelligence on flirting, and not on dumb things like books or research.
13. Scotty The list of RhyDin's sexiest men isn't the only thing Scotty is climbing these days, if you get what we're saying. Wink, wink. Good LORD, people! Get your minds out of the gutter! We were talking about climbing the corporate ladder! SHEESH! And by corporate, we're actually referring to the faaaabulous job that our favorite Scot has as a tender at the Red Dragon Inn. If you're no stranger to our Gossip Column, you know by now that Scotty and his man Harold are a pair that we are huge fans of. And we're not talking "hi, here's this year's Christmas card with our ugly mugs on it" fans. No, we're talking about squeal moments when we see one or the other out in public. Our Scotty makes it onto the list of sexiest RhyDin men because despite his good looks and dashing debonair smile, he hilariously decides to use his evil powers of wit and charm to entice RhyDinians into being just a little bit more scandalous on his shifts - say, with rounds or three of Never Have I Ever and Truth or Dare drinking games. So which will it be then, Scotty' Truth' Or dare"
12. Victor Kazon Not a lot of the intense sort makes it onto our radar, but boy howdy does Victor ever make us go starry-eyed with fascination. This tasty morsel of something spicy is rarely - if ever - spotted without the sex-imbued femme Anyanka on his arm, but you better believe that doesn't make him stand out any less. Victor's sangfroid temperament and cleverness savors a little of an aristocrat, but his every tiniest gesture is rife with vivid, fiery passion' so much so that just looking at the man makes us smell a little bit like a smokehouse. We could honestly make billions selling Vic's and Anyanka's faces on bottles of colognes or perfumes, simply because everybody should want to have a little bit of their essence with them. Those two are sex on a plate, and we'd like seconds - with an extra helping to go, if that's not too much to ask.
11. Nigel Alder I know that subtlety is often the name of the game here and has been visited before, but our coveted Nigel here has it in spades. A man of few words, Nigel isn't often seen in circumstances that merit much attention. But this man exhibits a nature unlike any other; there is a complexity to him - a certain secret or a knowing that lies behind his eyes. He gets a look sometimes like he's seen the world, and he's lived the future - that he knows what is going to happen, and all this is happening to him for the second time - but still he wouldn't change one thing about it. Nigel is a brilliant man; we have no doubt about that. And that he doesn't waste words on things that don't need to be said only makes him all the more captivating in our eyes. And that wisdom and obscurity in his character is what draws us to him' and probably will for a very long time.
10. Kalamere Well he doesn't have his own G.D. cheerleading team for no reason. I find it staggeringly hilarious that so many of these people on RhyDin who have been around for what seems like foreeeeever still show up to get stabbed and completely smashed looking like they just celebrated their twenty-first. And believe you me, if anyone can get stabbed in style it's this guy right here. The Baron of Battlefield Park, word has it Kal has been spotted quite a few times in the company of the always gorgeous Teagan Rielea. Sources even confirm rumors that she frequents the haunted mansion located on his estate (and no, we're not talking about the Disneyland attraction, folks). Spooky! Well I don't know what the deal there is, but I can honestly say I don't blame her. There is something fabulous about a man who has no fear of pale, soulless husks. Or ghosts, either.
9. Rand al'Tan We're not exactly sure when exactly Rand became a blip on our radar, but we're fairly certain he gave all our equipment the BSOD when he started sporting skin-tight clothes to all his important affairs and flirting shamelessly with other men. And speaking of affairs" are we hallucinating, or isn't Rand married" Whether he is or not, we honestly haven't gotten one single glimpse of wifey, and we've been stalking - that is" we've been observing Rand rather frequently with big expensive binoculars. So if not, kudos to him for getting his tight' assets" back into the game. But if so, we do have to admit it takes some serious cojones to parade a hot young thing around in public like that with a ring on your finger. So we'll give it to Rand: He certainly is full of testi" well, he's full of a certain kind of fortitude is all we're saying.
8. G'nort Dragoon-Talanador I know what you're thinking, RhyDin. The answer is yes, I do understand the meaning of "sexy." And no, I don't think it is synonymous with "sleazy." Because while we'll admit that G'nort has on occasion lost control of his hands" and feet' and pelvis" we still do respect a man who can be so tenaciously vulgar, even in the face of certain death. After all, G'nort has been known to hit on women waaaaaay out of his league - those women coincidentally carrying waaaaaay sharp things that could waaaaay maim very sensitive parts of male anatomy. Call it foolhardy if you will, but we happen to find G'nort's confidence and persistence appealing. There. We admitted it. But to be honest, now we're terrified saying such things will inflate his ego so much it will carry him away.
7. Mason Even though mancandy Mason hasn't made too many public appearances of late, like his gorgeous lady Eva we feel obligated to include him on our list simply because he has been and probably will remain one of our absolute favorite RhyDinians ever. Mason seems like a stern, standoffish sort of fellow upon first impressions, but once you get to know him (or ensure he has a few brewskies in his sytem), he really has a heart of gold" and the naughtiness of a cat in a canary cage. No word yet on what he's busying himself with these days, but we do hope it is something deliciously scandalous!
6. Antonio Falconne In our eyes, Antonio is a bit like the Austin Powers of the RhyDin Realm. Women want him; men want to be him. And men want him. While I realize I'm only confirming the suspicions that R.D.I. tenders get special treatment when it comes to pondering where the sexiness of RhyDin is concentrated, you all have to agree with me that the Falcon is one delicious, delicious piece of delicious deliciousness. But all thoughts of using sundae toppings on him aside, word has it this handsome, congenial fellow is due to have a new pair of little ones any day now with his lovely (albeit flirty) wife EmDoc. That there is a couple that is positively oooozing with appeal, as Antonio seems to be of the opinion that the healthy way to live involves almost always giving into temptation. In that case, I will take that third helping of tres leches, thank you.
5. Tasslehofl Momus Getting kissed by Tass is one of the rites of passage here in RhyDin. Seriously. If you haven't been macked on by this charming old man, then you honestly can't consider yourself a true RhyDinian. And yes, we are talking to both men and women here, as this institution of a man is blind to gender. And age. And race. It just goes to show you, lords and ladies: You can not put an age limit on sex appeal, as we are fairly certain that Tass is the kind of fellow that lives and breathes it day to day. He's an icon for you meeklings (like weaklings, only' yeah) out there, constantly encouraging you to embrace your sexy side and do some hardcore flirting. Thus, Tass makes our list for spreading the fine art of physicality around this realm. Take notes!
4. Wolvinator Our gnawable Wolvinator made it onto our list last year simply because of his roguish smile and a body that I could chew on and eat off of religiously. But this year, Wolvinator makes it back on and higher because he is using his dashing good looks to fight crime in the public eye as the Minister of Defense. While what he is really doing in that office is one big secret and he doesn't make too many public appearances, the few times we have caught Wolvinator around the city, he has always made sure to shoot us a happy smile and ask us how our day is" which we would find completely endearing, if we weren't so busy staring at his chest. Call me superficial again, but I swear he's like the male equivalent of Kitty. The eyes just naturally go to the curves. Rumor has it he and his beautiful new wife Aly are doing fabulously - not that we had any doubt about that, seeing as that pair is a match made in heaven. When, oh when, can we expect to see some little Wolvies and Alys making mischief around these parts"
3. Lucien Viktor Mallorek He's quiet, he sips his scotch, and he diverts most of Tara's ruinous and deleterious attention. What more could a girl want' Lucky (a.k.a. Lucien) generally tends to be a pretty private person, but there is something about his presence that just makes us comfortable. Even though the man is known to draw conflict and all the wrong kinds of attention from time to time, his personality and overall disposition is still the kind that is extraordinarily magnetic - so much so that I'm afraid to carry my credit cards around him. Rumor has it Lucky has been spending an aaaawful lot of time at his shipyard and not terribly much time on the town enjoying himself. More than that, the few times he has been spotted oot and aboot, he has been chilling all by his lonesome! With a face that makes our eyes glaze-over and a presence that causes us to be all a-twitter with love, we can't imagine any reason why such a sexy, sexy specimen would ever be lacking in company. Could all not be right in Lucky Town" I certainly hope not!
2. Matthew Algiers Simon Does gover-resilient Matt necessarily have to be campaigning for an office to have posters made of him' Because if not, I'm totally not going to sell these. Matt has skyrocketed up to number two on our list not because of the noteworthy absence of a certain, sinful pair of gentlemen (which honestly makes me more than a little bit sad), but actually because we have seen a completely new side of Matt this year - and it truly makes me shiver with delight! When gover-resilient Matt was busying himself on a gubernatorial power trip, we unfortunately only got to see the diplomatic - and often bland - side of him. But since he's been out of office, not only have we gotten a taste of Matt's temper (which could set asbestos on fire. Seriously), but we have also had an opportunity to meet the irresponsible side of him. And I'll be honest, after seeing poor Matt so strung out those two years on political nonsense, it really is a rewarding thing to see the man let loose. We honestly never pegged Matt as a guy who lives on extremes, but if this is the direction he's decided to go in, we have to say we like it! No, we love it!
1. Alain DeMuer And last, but certainly not least, we give you the most sexiest man in RhyDin: Alain DeMuer! What is it about the strong silent type that makes us fall all over ourselves with glee" Truth be told, Alain was a shoe-in for the number one slot purely based off his irresistibly carefree perspective on life. Whether he's not actually quite that carefree we're not exactly certain, but Alain has just always struck us as the kind of man who would simply light up a smoke and shrug if he found out that a meteor was about to crash into the planet in ten seconds and destroy all life as we know it. For some bizarre reason that escapes our imagination, Alain is most often spotted smoking and having a drink by his lonesome at the 'ol R.D.I., and even that - and this hurts us to say - isn't terribly often. Since giving up his claim on his brainchild of a company, it begs the question: just what is the Baron doing with his spare time" Is it something scandalous" Is it something sexy' Is it something that will make us shriek in terror or applaud with pride? And if so, can we interest you in a book deal about it' Whatever the case may be, Alain is never without his cloak of mystery and nonchalance, nestled securely in that dangerously attractive exterior that makes us swooooon and want to throw roses in the wake left by his motorcycle exhaust. But even if we did, we have a sneaking feeling he would only shrug, light up a smoke, and race off to do other secret things. Just one of the many, many reasons why Alain DeMuer is the sexiest man in RhyDin!