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Junior Columnist: Carrie Michaels
Top 25 Sexiest Men in RhyDin 2011! December 24, 2011
Well, I will outright admit that I'm not as articulate or classy as my predecessors, but let's give this thing a shot.
I present to you, the Post's Top 25 Sexiest Men of 2011!
25. CaelMal He whose last name we'll never remember. Or maybe he is one of those types who has no last name. But this shadow dragon hybrid has certainly garnered our attention since day one " and not simply for the fascinating way in which he behaves. No, we like this guy because against all appearances he seems to be a bit of a romantic. Frankly it stuns us a little bit, as what interaction we've seen in the past from his kind hasn't been the most friendly (not being prejudiced, just speaking from experience), but hey, there's always a rose on a stem of thorns, isn't there" Exactly how rosy this fellow is we're not sure just yet, but since he and his gal Rayva have a little one on the way we fully anticipate things may get a little bit rosier. Or" you know" the black equivalent, since he apparently has a thing for the color.
24. Rico Tharadon It seems as though Rico is just one of those fellows you're forced to like. Yeah, sure, he can be a little goofy at times (to the point where we're a little bit suspicious he has a few loose parts rolling around upstairs), but generally the guy is a pretty nice one. He's got the whole roughed-up pirate look going on, though, and for every bit as incongruous his friendly personality is, it tends to just fit. And for that, he at least deserves a bit of recognition!
23. Tuhor At this point you are probably wondering exactly where we are getting these guys from. Sure, the others on the upper end of the list make sense. But Tuhor" Who the heck associates with Tuhor besides Tuhor" Well, RhyDin, I only have one thing to say to you: We write what we see. And what we've seen from Tuhor is that troublemaking charm that so many women fawn and faint over. Besides, he always seems to be well-dressed and his looks aren't just cute; they're handsome. Since he is so secretive and has only recently reared his pretty head in public we are vastly low on extraneous information, and as a result the jury is still out on him. Still, we'll stick with our first impression and credit him a spot on our list' at least until proven otherwise.
22. Toby Aradam There is something impressive about a man who can constantly surround himself with women and not have his hands on their boobs every time they turn around (only some of the times. But then that's mere speculation on our end). Toby is usually one of those. He seems to be a genuinely caring individual, and though he is mostly quiet " especially in large crowds " from what we've heard he is a fiercely loyal and trustworthy companion. Now, it's been a while since we've heard about where he's been or how his love life is doing (and to be honest, we're pretty certain something horrific or terrifyingly strange has happened to him), but last we saw he's been tiptoeing through the tulips with Krazy Kingsley who is most likely hell-bent on cutting off a piece of his hair and using it to make a Toby hair doll. To that, we say RUN. There are too few good guys in RhyDin to be lost to crazy hair ladies. Not that there's anything wrong with hair " Toby's actually got a nice head of it. But before we digress completely, let's move on to Number 21.
21. Ebon Ilnaren What' WHAT" A family man can't be sexy' Oh, RhyDin. You have so much to learn. Just about every good-looking guy these days has a rugrat attached to him, we'll have you know. What makes Ebon stand out is he isn't afraid to be chained down. As a matter of fact, he's very proud of being the father-type, and you see that in just about everything he does and whomever he associates with. And just because he's off the market, it doesn't mean we can't look but not touch. He's a looker, ladies and gents. Make no mistake. But it's his dependability that has us captivated.
20. Dyarhk Normally we might be offended that this guy gets his kicks out of watching women in bikinis talk about world peace, but Dyarhk - in our personal opinion - tends to be the kind of fellow that is darn near impossible to hate. All hate that is flung at him usually just rebounds alongside a charming smile and jovial laughter, because this guy (when he's not facing immediate death, that is) really doesn't take anything seriously. And when he does" Call us crazy, but we're glad we're on his good side. I mean' We are, aren't we" We figure if we say "we like you? enough these guys will protect us and it'll ensure our survival in the event of something catastrophic. And until that theory goes unproven" O.M.G DYARHK IS SEXY AND WE LIKE HIM LULZ.
19. Rand al'Tan If Dyarhk doesn't take anything seriously, Rand straight up doesn't care. But this time, it is completely in a good way. Not once have we seen Rand get ticked off in or out of the rings, which means the guy certainly has a good head on his shoulders " and one hell of a pain tolerance. From what we understand he's also held a magic Tower before, which means for every bit as hot as his looks are, he doesn't mind taking time to cool off. What we know about his love life right now is unfortunately extremely limited, but rest assured, RhyDin; our finest people are on it. Until then, go about spying in your own time. We'll keep you informed!
18. Roderick Douglas It is unfortunate that every time Roderick is mentioned, that mention is taken as an opportunity to condemn his taste in women. So in the spirit of the holidays, we have resolved not to do that. Nope. We most certainly will not. We will not talk about how clearly backwards his preferences are or how he has deluded himself into appreciating a personality that just IS NOT THERE. No, we are good people, so we will not talk about it. What we will talk about is how a cheeky, handsome fellow like Roderick makes our Top 25 list this year. Roderick is not only of the amiable sort, but he is the merry kind who would happily spend his evening buying rounds of drinks while being the butt of incessant kilt jokes so long as it meant a good time would be had. And we like that kind of person. It is rare to find someone in RhyDin who isn't a perpetual sulk, and Roderick most definitely isn't. So regardless of that poor taste we definitely one-hundred percent will not talk about, he is still a smexy man to us!
17. Bashir So we may have hinted in our Top 25 women's list (which wasn't written by me, by the way) that Bashir and his gal Zahra spent the greater part of their lives in the bedroom. Let me be the first to say that this theory has not yet been disputed. However, we must still point out how sexy we think Bashir is, and not simply because he knows his way around the sack. His dashing Middle-Eastern looks aside, Bashir makes it onto our list because he is one faithful fellow. And by faithful, we mean he is the fiercely protective sort that can either drive a woman mad or make her utterly indecent. So far, we haven't decided which type Bashir elicits, but you can be sure he is certainly one to keep your eye on!
16. Leo Heracleides Leo Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrracleides (Bane is right. You really can't say that name sanely. Ever) inevitably has to make it onto our Top 25 list. Unless you've been living under a rock you know that the gossip column has featured the guy on an almost regular basis. And his clever product plugging aside, we like him quite a bit. Why, we can't exactly say. Maybe it's his secretive way around others, or maybe it's because you can probably cook a raw egg on his stomach (seriously. We're thinking his abs are Photoshopped). Either way, we're hugely curious about this bloke and demand to know what he is getting himself into. Or who. ZING!
15. Luke Boudreux The man who can land a true catch like Eless probably has one hell of a story going on' in his pants. Man. And we thought your heads were in the gutter. Actually as it turns out we like Luke quite a bit for his contagious sense of humor. Also, to snag a woman like Eless, he naturally has got to have the whole dreamy eyes thing going on. You know, the type with that intense smolder that gives you the impression he is madly in love with you even though you just walked up to take his order for beer and chicken wings" Yeah, that type. And then there's the fact that anything Eless lacks in dirty Luke is quick to make up for it with double entendres and intelligent-yet-filthy puns. He is the yang to her yin, and we couldn't be happier for them. And although we outwardly wish the two of them a happy, warm-at-the-hearth kind of marriage and life together, we will never stop holding a candle for the giggly college humor kids making p'nis jokes. Long live the p'nis jokes.
14. Jonathan Granger It's the hair. I'm sorry, ladies and gents. We get that Jon Granger supposedly has this phenomenal acting ability and a charming way with women and is supposed to be all intelligent and stuff, but the only reason we put Jon Granger on our list is for his hair. If the list hadn't been restricted to living, breathing organisms, we'd have simply nominated Jonathan Granger's Hair instead of Jonathan Granger. It's the handsome, airy, touchably soft kind of hair that only comes from genes and cannot be obtained by mere conditioner means alone. This is the hair of a god. A hair god. And we are his loyal servants, on a pilgrimage to touch his hair. Also, I'll give fifty bucks to anyone who can bring me a lock of it. Editor's note: The RhyDin Post does not condone acts of assault or theft.
13. Stephen Kidd If I recall, there was something mentioned about that one gossip writer of ours falling in love with Stephen all over again recently, was there not' Well we are not ashamed to say the feeling is mutual. Though in our case, Stephen never left our radar. Always the most entertaining of the Kidds (boorish is not always entertaining, you understand), Stephen tends to be generally liked by pretty much everyone in RhyDin. And why shouldn't he be? While he does have that piratey, perverse sort of mentality, any vibes he sends out are strictly good-natured (though consequences be damned). Moreover, his happy debauchery is usually widely well received, insomuch that most Red Dragon women don't really mind when he has his hand on their rear for an entire night. Now that's tolerance you can't buy. As such, for his mischief-laden madness we have decided to include Stephen on our Top 25 list this year" But we better not catch his hand certain places without our permission.
12. G'nort Dragoon-Talanador RhyDin, my dears, I know there are some of you who are outraged that G"nort has made out list again (those who are not G"nort, that is), but I am sorry to inform you that his high-and-mighty personality and impeccably well-timed puns have created a malignant bleeding ulcer in our pericardium and infiltrated their way into our hearts. Now. G is one hysterical ginger who knows his way around a sword, but this list is not about humor. It is about sexiness. Does G have sexiness" Is the world round" Statistically do gnomes keel over most often on Tuesdays" (Actually we'd like to know the answer to that one, so speak up if you've got it.) The answer is yes. And if you people have a problem with answer, take it to him. I'm sure he'd be happy to debate it with you.
11. Jochin In short, Jochin is the classic bad boy. RhyDin is full of them, we know, but Jochin is the bad boy of bad boys, complete with the gritty personality, the rugged, rough-edged looks, and the questionable respect for women that constantly makes him oscillate between being an almost-gentleman and a complete and utter bastard. But you know what? I know more than a few women who find that insatiably hot, and more than a few of them happen to be at our office. We are insatiably curious about the insatiable hotness, though. We know that Harper is doubtlessly attracted to him in that way (we pity the woman who isn't. That woman has no life), but we have to wonder. Are they thinking it's going to last' Most bad boys like Jochin tend to have a deep dark past that they don't like sharing. Is Harper going to be the one to tunnel her way in" We doubt it, but then again we're still thinking about hair.
10. Bjorn If Jochin is a bad boy, Bjorn is just bad. Mind you, that is not only the baaaaad kind of bad that drives most men to ask their girlfriends to buy a naughty French maid costume (which, FYI are so out. Schoolgirl is where it's at these days), but just bad. It seems like this guy has his fingers in just about everyone's pies. And we're not talkin" the oh-my-cherry-pie kind of pie. We're talking about the "yeah, I'll easily put your nuts in a sling" kind of look dreamcake Bjorn gives everybody. It's probably no surprise that he hangs with Riley's and Mesteno's crowd, but as I'm sure you've noted by now, we don't call him dreamcake for nothing. And that is because he is one steamy piece of tail whose cat-ate-the-canary smile makes some gals around here more than a little weak in the knees. Well, you know how it goes. Sometimes if you play with fire you get burnt. But then again, playing with fire can certainly heat things up.
9. Tasslehofl Momus It takes a very secure man to be able to cover himself in jelly and wander through the streets of RhyDin naked. Was it jelly' Maybe it was paint. Or maybe it was just the natural membrane that oozes out his pores that his body has since developed from his first streaking experiences. Who knows. But it just goes without saying that only a certain kind of man can pull off the stunts (the very, very naked stunts) that Tass can, and to be very honest we don't think any other man can do it with the same kind of finesse (very, very naked finesse). Add that to the fact that he's part dragon, and what you have is a very naked man with very naked stamina. And then more naked. God, so much naked.
8. Wolvinator Let it be a lesson to all of you naysayers out there: Just because you aren't around terribly much, doesn't mean we've forgotten about you. And you better believe we haven't forgotten about Wolvinator's muscle-bound torso. His broad shoulders. His impeccable hygiene (what? It's an attraction factor, make no mistake). Oh, yes. That man will be forever etched into our memories. And though he and his impossibly beautiful wife Aly (seriously. We miss you) haven't been around much, from what we've heard the Admiral is keeping busy with work. What work exactly we're not certain, but we're pretty sure it has something to do with saving the world or" I don't know. He might make a good florist. Regardless, Wolvinator's sex appeal has not and will never abate, nor will we remove the cardboard standee of him from our office. You're always with us, Wolvie. Always.
7. Matt Simon We're not going to lie, RhyDin. It depresses us a little bit that Matt Simon has dropped down the list so much. Right now we're not necessarily sure why. The guy is still very nice to look at, brawls regularly, and is married to a very pretty lady who makes nice things. So what?s his deal" Maybe it has to do with him not being in politics so much anymore that he doesn't feel particularly motivated to thrust himself on the RhyDin people or into public eye in general. And you know what? That is the part of Matt we probably liked the most. For the sake of his looks and his familiar personality we've decided to keep him on The List, but we do so only with a warning, sir: Get off your butt and make a point to be sexier!
6. Corlanthis Wystansayr What can we say' Ever since that convo between Tara and Candycane, we can't help but wonder about his abilities in the bedroom. Word on the grapevine is that our man Cor is none too savvy in that department, but until we hear about it firsthand (or poll all of RhyDin, which we are seriously thinking of doing), we plan to continuously embarrass this guy in our vicious, unending speculation. But we digress. We like Cor for more than just what is going on below the waist (we think" WE"RE SO CONFUSED). The guy is and always has been an outgoing, easily approachable fellow who seems to genuinely make an effort to invite people in" to his BEDROOM. Ha. No, but really, we like him for his personality and" his personality, and" you know. His persona, and" like" O.K. seriously. Level with us. " How big are we talking here"
5. Lucien Mallorek That's right, RhyDin. Our soft-spoken lawyer man-house has made it to our lists again! Why do we call him man-house, you ask" Why do you have that hideous thing growing off your face that you call a nose" Do not question our unerring logic. Anyway. Ever since mannister (like a barrister, but with more man) Lucien began seeing Kate rumor has it he's been tapping into the party part of his brain. Frankly this delights us and makes us euphoric on so many levels that a few of us were dragged out of our offices for random drug testing. Basically Lucien has got it. What is "it?" "It' is that rugged, dreamy quality that draws a woman to a man like pheromones and Axe (though those aren't necessarily mutually exclusive). And now he has thus skyrocketed up our list, simply for the fact that he is now apparently both the man a woman can bring home to mom and dad and the man who will do shots out of that same woman's cleavage. Blasphemy, you say' That is not our Lucien, you say' LET THE MAN LIVE, YOU PRUDES!
4. Ed Batten No, we are not putting him on his list for his money. His vast, vast amounts of money for which it would easily be a drop in the bucket to purchase, say, a pair of decent pearl earrings" We don't just like Ed Batten for his vast, vast amounts of disposable money, though. No siree. We like Ed because for as much as a playboy billionaire he is, he makes up for the playboy lifestyle by trying to be anything but egocentric. He doesn't always succeed all the time, but you have to give it to the guy for trying. Interestingly enough though the techno-mogul seems to be just about everywhere these days, we still know little about him from his Terran years. As far as we can tell that accent he has is something of the creole sort (though we can't speak for sure on that), which probably means that the guy didn't come from money. We have to admire him for that, and for what he's chosen to do with his money around here. And wouldn't ya know it' The guy ain't bad to look at either. Hence the special spot on our list.
3. Alain DeMuer RhyDin, RhyDin, RhyDin. We know you are depressed that Alain is not this year's sexiest. To be honest, we are a little also. But rest assured the Baron is still vastly sexy above his other sexy counterparts. Alain " formerly of D.E. " has always been a force to be reckoned with in both everyday life and in upright tangible resistance. What are we talking about' Why, the fact that this bloke is a smooth-talker who has put a number of fellows behind jail and doubtlessly bedded innumerable women simply with that smoky, devilish simper of his. Must I go on' I must. Nowadays Alain of Silver Mark (which doesn't have the same ring as D.E., no offense Sexiest 2010) seems to be bedding only one babe; but that does not necessarily mean his sexiness has diminished. No, chances are his sexiness is better utilized behind closed doors. Of course we are perfectly and completely fine with that, and in fact envy the woman who has his full attention. And so, regretfully we must bump him down a few notches, but this does not mean our lascivious dreaming will end.
2. Sinjin Fai Sin's fan base has never waxed or waned, RhyDin, as we're sure you've noticed by his nomination for Winterfest this year. Though his appearances may be few, they are always met with much glee and fanfare. Actually they usually go unnoticed until after the fact, and it is precisely that unassuming sneakiness that draws us to Sin like a moth to flame. That and his wiry, predatory stature" and his devilish smile" and his sardonic wit' and his raw, damn near indecent behavior that still to this day makes us just want to go all teeth and claws on him. Rrrawr. Basically, we just think Sin is the hottest thing ever and if we were allowed we would make him Sexiest Man in RhyDin every single year (maybe while giving Salvador the occasional win, just to give them something to bicker about). But though his steamy, delicious delicious debauchery has and never will diminish, we are forced to reduce his rank because WE NEVER SEE HIM. This must be remedied immediately. Team Sinners are beginning to convert to Team Sal, and once they do frankly we're not sure we can guarantee their safety.
1. Kalamere Ar'Din WHAT"! KALAMERE AR"DIN is the Sexiest Man in RhyDin"! You're dern skippy he is, people! This guy seems to make an awful, awful habit of flying under the radar, BUT NO LONGER. You cannot contain your sexiness, sir, however much you'd like to try to. The man is breathlessly good looking. We're talking belongs-on-the-silver-screen-so-Lelah-you-better-give-him-a-part good looking. He's got intense, penetrating eyes that you can easily get lost in and a body that has been honed and toned through years and years of practice in the dueling rings. Also, we needn't mention he's got a dueling record longer than Cor's" Let's just say it's long. The guy wrote the book on sword fighting. Well. Maybe he didn't, but he sure made some pretty sexy contributions. More than that, though, he is an unbelievably well-meaning person with a pain and problem tolerance bigger than Sin's" It's big. And we appreciate a guy who remembers the little things, like respecting others " including women " and having a decent amount of self-respect himself. And though his love life has been on the down, down low for a while now, we know that if he isn't happily settled already he very well soon be. After all" who wouldn't want to get it on' we mean, get down and dirty' we mean, knock boots with' we mean' go on a very nice date and have a nice talk" Oh heck. It doesn't really matter, because he's the SEXIEST MAN IN RHYDIN!
Top 25 Sexiest Men in RhyDin 2011! December 24, 2011
Well, I will outright admit that I'm not as articulate or classy as my predecessors, but let's give this thing a shot.
I present to you, the Post's Top 25 Sexiest Men of 2011!
25. CaelMal He whose last name we'll never remember. Or maybe he is one of those types who has no last name. But this shadow dragon hybrid has certainly garnered our attention since day one " and not simply for the fascinating way in which he behaves. No, we like this guy because against all appearances he seems to be a bit of a romantic. Frankly it stuns us a little bit, as what interaction we've seen in the past from his kind hasn't been the most friendly (not being prejudiced, just speaking from experience), but hey, there's always a rose on a stem of thorns, isn't there" Exactly how rosy this fellow is we're not sure just yet, but since he and his gal Rayva have a little one on the way we fully anticipate things may get a little bit rosier. Or" you know" the black equivalent, since he apparently has a thing for the color.
24. Rico Tharadon It seems as though Rico is just one of those fellows you're forced to like. Yeah, sure, he can be a little goofy at times (to the point where we're a little bit suspicious he has a few loose parts rolling around upstairs), but generally the guy is a pretty nice one. He's got the whole roughed-up pirate look going on, though, and for every bit as incongruous his friendly personality is, it tends to just fit. And for that, he at least deserves a bit of recognition!
23. Tuhor At this point you are probably wondering exactly where we are getting these guys from. Sure, the others on the upper end of the list make sense. But Tuhor" Who the heck associates with Tuhor besides Tuhor" Well, RhyDin, I only have one thing to say to you: We write what we see. And what we've seen from Tuhor is that troublemaking charm that so many women fawn and faint over. Besides, he always seems to be well-dressed and his looks aren't just cute; they're handsome. Since he is so secretive and has only recently reared his pretty head in public we are vastly low on extraneous information, and as a result the jury is still out on him. Still, we'll stick with our first impression and credit him a spot on our list' at least until proven otherwise.
22. Toby Aradam There is something impressive about a man who can constantly surround himself with women and not have his hands on their boobs every time they turn around (only some of the times. But then that's mere speculation on our end). Toby is usually one of those. He seems to be a genuinely caring individual, and though he is mostly quiet " especially in large crowds " from what we've heard he is a fiercely loyal and trustworthy companion. Now, it's been a while since we've heard about where he's been or how his love life is doing (and to be honest, we're pretty certain something horrific or terrifyingly strange has happened to him), but last we saw he's been tiptoeing through the tulips with Krazy Kingsley who is most likely hell-bent on cutting off a piece of his hair and using it to make a Toby hair doll. To that, we say RUN. There are too few good guys in RhyDin to be lost to crazy hair ladies. Not that there's anything wrong with hair " Toby's actually got a nice head of it. But before we digress completely, let's move on to Number 21.
21. Ebon Ilnaren What' WHAT" A family man can't be sexy' Oh, RhyDin. You have so much to learn. Just about every good-looking guy these days has a rugrat attached to him, we'll have you know. What makes Ebon stand out is he isn't afraid to be chained down. As a matter of fact, he's very proud of being the father-type, and you see that in just about everything he does and whomever he associates with. And just because he's off the market, it doesn't mean we can't look but not touch. He's a looker, ladies and gents. Make no mistake. But it's his dependability that has us captivated.
20. Dyarhk Normally we might be offended that this guy gets his kicks out of watching women in bikinis talk about world peace, but Dyarhk - in our personal opinion - tends to be the kind of fellow that is darn near impossible to hate. All hate that is flung at him usually just rebounds alongside a charming smile and jovial laughter, because this guy (when he's not facing immediate death, that is) really doesn't take anything seriously. And when he does" Call us crazy, but we're glad we're on his good side. I mean' We are, aren't we" We figure if we say "we like you? enough these guys will protect us and it'll ensure our survival in the event of something catastrophic. And until that theory goes unproven" O.M.G DYARHK IS SEXY AND WE LIKE HIM LULZ.
19. Rand al'Tan If Dyarhk doesn't take anything seriously, Rand straight up doesn't care. But this time, it is completely in a good way. Not once have we seen Rand get ticked off in or out of the rings, which means the guy certainly has a good head on his shoulders " and one hell of a pain tolerance. From what we understand he's also held a magic Tower before, which means for every bit as hot as his looks are, he doesn't mind taking time to cool off. What we know about his love life right now is unfortunately extremely limited, but rest assured, RhyDin; our finest people are on it. Until then, go about spying in your own time. We'll keep you informed!
18. Roderick Douglas It is unfortunate that every time Roderick is mentioned, that mention is taken as an opportunity to condemn his taste in women. So in the spirit of the holidays, we have resolved not to do that. Nope. We most certainly will not. We will not talk about how clearly backwards his preferences are or how he has deluded himself into appreciating a personality that just IS NOT THERE. No, we are good people, so we will not talk about it. What we will talk about is how a cheeky, handsome fellow like Roderick makes our Top 25 list this year. Roderick is not only of the amiable sort, but he is the merry kind who would happily spend his evening buying rounds of drinks while being the butt of incessant kilt jokes so long as it meant a good time would be had. And we like that kind of person. It is rare to find someone in RhyDin who isn't a perpetual sulk, and Roderick most definitely isn't. So regardless of that poor taste we definitely one-hundred percent will not talk about, he is still a smexy man to us!
17. Bashir So we may have hinted in our Top 25 women's list (which wasn't written by me, by the way) that Bashir and his gal Zahra spent the greater part of their lives in the bedroom. Let me be the first to say that this theory has not yet been disputed. However, we must still point out how sexy we think Bashir is, and not simply because he knows his way around the sack. His dashing Middle-Eastern looks aside, Bashir makes it onto our list because he is one faithful fellow. And by faithful, we mean he is the fiercely protective sort that can either drive a woman mad or make her utterly indecent. So far, we haven't decided which type Bashir elicits, but you can be sure he is certainly one to keep your eye on!
16. Leo Heracleides Leo Herrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrracleides (Bane is right. You really can't say that name sanely. Ever) inevitably has to make it onto our Top 25 list. Unless you've been living under a rock you know that the gossip column has featured the guy on an almost regular basis. And his clever product plugging aside, we like him quite a bit. Why, we can't exactly say. Maybe it's his secretive way around others, or maybe it's because you can probably cook a raw egg on his stomach (seriously. We're thinking his abs are Photoshopped). Either way, we're hugely curious about this bloke and demand to know what he is getting himself into. Or who. ZING!
15. Luke Boudreux The man who can land a true catch like Eless probably has one hell of a story going on' in his pants. Man. And we thought your heads were in the gutter. Actually as it turns out we like Luke quite a bit for his contagious sense of humor. Also, to snag a woman like Eless, he naturally has got to have the whole dreamy eyes thing going on. You know, the type with that intense smolder that gives you the impression he is madly in love with you even though you just walked up to take his order for beer and chicken wings" Yeah, that type. And then there's the fact that anything Eless lacks in dirty Luke is quick to make up for it with double entendres and intelligent-yet-filthy puns. He is the yang to her yin, and we couldn't be happier for them. And although we outwardly wish the two of them a happy, warm-at-the-hearth kind of marriage and life together, we will never stop holding a candle for the giggly college humor kids making p'nis jokes. Long live the p'nis jokes.
14. Jonathan Granger It's the hair. I'm sorry, ladies and gents. We get that Jon Granger supposedly has this phenomenal acting ability and a charming way with women and is supposed to be all intelligent and stuff, but the only reason we put Jon Granger on our list is for his hair. If the list hadn't been restricted to living, breathing organisms, we'd have simply nominated Jonathan Granger's Hair instead of Jonathan Granger. It's the handsome, airy, touchably soft kind of hair that only comes from genes and cannot be obtained by mere conditioner means alone. This is the hair of a god. A hair god. And we are his loyal servants, on a pilgrimage to touch his hair. Also, I'll give fifty bucks to anyone who can bring me a lock of it. Editor's note: The RhyDin Post does not condone acts of assault or theft.
13. Stephen Kidd If I recall, there was something mentioned about that one gossip writer of ours falling in love with Stephen all over again recently, was there not' Well we are not ashamed to say the feeling is mutual. Though in our case, Stephen never left our radar. Always the most entertaining of the Kidds (boorish is not always entertaining, you understand), Stephen tends to be generally liked by pretty much everyone in RhyDin. And why shouldn't he be? While he does have that piratey, perverse sort of mentality, any vibes he sends out are strictly good-natured (though consequences be damned). Moreover, his happy debauchery is usually widely well received, insomuch that most Red Dragon women don't really mind when he has his hand on their rear for an entire night. Now that's tolerance you can't buy. As such, for his mischief-laden madness we have decided to include Stephen on our Top 25 list this year" But we better not catch his hand certain places without our permission.
12. G'nort Dragoon-Talanador RhyDin, my dears, I know there are some of you who are outraged that G"nort has made out list again (those who are not G"nort, that is), but I am sorry to inform you that his high-and-mighty personality and impeccably well-timed puns have created a malignant bleeding ulcer in our pericardium and infiltrated their way into our hearts. Now. G is one hysterical ginger who knows his way around a sword, but this list is not about humor. It is about sexiness. Does G have sexiness" Is the world round" Statistically do gnomes keel over most often on Tuesdays" (Actually we'd like to know the answer to that one, so speak up if you've got it.) The answer is yes. And if you people have a problem with answer, take it to him. I'm sure he'd be happy to debate it with you.
11. Jochin In short, Jochin is the classic bad boy. RhyDin is full of them, we know, but Jochin is the bad boy of bad boys, complete with the gritty personality, the rugged, rough-edged looks, and the questionable respect for women that constantly makes him oscillate between being an almost-gentleman and a complete and utter bastard. But you know what? I know more than a few women who find that insatiably hot, and more than a few of them happen to be at our office. We are insatiably curious about the insatiable hotness, though. We know that Harper is doubtlessly attracted to him in that way (we pity the woman who isn't. That woman has no life), but we have to wonder. Are they thinking it's going to last' Most bad boys like Jochin tend to have a deep dark past that they don't like sharing. Is Harper going to be the one to tunnel her way in" We doubt it, but then again we're still thinking about hair.
10. Bjorn If Jochin is a bad boy, Bjorn is just bad. Mind you, that is not only the baaaaad kind of bad that drives most men to ask their girlfriends to buy a naughty French maid costume (which, FYI are so out. Schoolgirl is where it's at these days), but just bad. It seems like this guy has his fingers in just about everyone's pies. And we're not talkin" the oh-my-cherry-pie kind of pie. We're talking about the "yeah, I'll easily put your nuts in a sling" kind of look dreamcake Bjorn gives everybody. It's probably no surprise that he hangs with Riley's and Mesteno's crowd, but as I'm sure you've noted by now, we don't call him dreamcake for nothing. And that is because he is one steamy piece of tail whose cat-ate-the-canary smile makes some gals around here more than a little weak in the knees. Well, you know how it goes. Sometimes if you play with fire you get burnt. But then again, playing with fire can certainly heat things up.
9. Tasslehofl Momus It takes a very secure man to be able to cover himself in jelly and wander through the streets of RhyDin naked. Was it jelly' Maybe it was paint. Or maybe it was just the natural membrane that oozes out his pores that his body has since developed from his first streaking experiences. Who knows. But it just goes without saying that only a certain kind of man can pull off the stunts (the very, very naked stunts) that Tass can, and to be very honest we don't think any other man can do it with the same kind of finesse (very, very naked finesse). Add that to the fact that he's part dragon, and what you have is a very naked man with very naked stamina. And then more naked. God, so much naked.
8. Wolvinator Let it be a lesson to all of you naysayers out there: Just because you aren't around terribly much, doesn't mean we've forgotten about you. And you better believe we haven't forgotten about Wolvinator's muscle-bound torso. His broad shoulders. His impeccable hygiene (what? It's an attraction factor, make no mistake). Oh, yes. That man will be forever etched into our memories. And though he and his impossibly beautiful wife Aly (seriously. We miss you) haven't been around much, from what we've heard the Admiral is keeping busy with work. What work exactly we're not certain, but we're pretty sure it has something to do with saving the world or" I don't know. He might make a good florist. Regardless, Wolvinator's sex appeal has not and will never abate, nor will we remove the cardboard standee of him from our office. You're always with us, Wolvie. Always.
7. Matt Simon We're not going to lie, RhyDin. It depresses us a little bit that Matt Simon has dropped down the list so much. Right now we're not necessarily sure why. The guy is still very nice to look at, brawls regularly, and is married to a very pretty lady who makes nice things. So what?s his deal" Maybe it has to do with him not being in politics so much anymore that he doesn't feel particularly motivated to thrust himself on the RhyDin people or into public eye in general. And you know what? That is the part of Matt we probably liked the most. For the sake of his looks and his familiar personality we've decided to keep him on The List, but we do so only with a warning, sir: Get off your butt and make a point to be sexier!
6. Corlanthis Wystansayr What can we say' Ever since that convo between Tara and Candycane, we can't help but wonder about his abilities in the bedroom. Word on the grapevine is that our man Cor is none too savvy in that department, but until we hear about it firsthand (or poll all of RhyDin, which we are seriously thinking of doing), we plan to continuously embarrass this guy in our vicious, unending speculation. But we digress. We like Cor for more than just what is going on below the waist (we think" WE"RE SO CONFUSED). The guy is and always has been an outgoing, easily approachable fellow who seems to genuinely make an effort to invite people in" to his BEDROOM. Ha. No, but really, we like him for his personality and" his personality, and" you know. His persona, and" like" O.K. seriously. Level with us. " How big are we talking here"
5. Lucien Mallorek That's right, RhyDin. Our soft-spoken lawyer man-house has made it to our lists again! Why do we call him man-house, you ask" Why do you have that hideous thing growing off your face that you call a nose" Do not question our unerring logic. Anyway. Ever since mannister (like a barrister, but with more man) Lucien began seeing Kate rumor has it he's been tapping into the party part of his brain. Frankly this delights us and makes us euphoric on so many levels that a few of us were dragged out of our offices for random drug testing. Basically Lucien has got it. What is "it?" "It' is that rugged, dreamy quality that draws a woman to a man like pheromones and Axe (though those aren't necessarily mutually exclusive). And now he has thus skyrocketed up our list, simply for the fact that he is now apparently both the man a woman can bring home to mom and dad and the man who will do shots out of that same woman's cleavage. Blasphemy, you say' That is not our Lucien, you say' LET THE MAN LIVE, YOU PRUDES!
4. Ed Batten No, we are not putting him on his list for his money. His vast, vast amounts of money for which it would easily be a drop in the bucket to purchase, say, a pair of decent pearl earrings" We don't just like Ed Batten for his vast, vast amounts of disposable money, though. No siree. We like Ed because for as much as a playboy billionaire he is, he makes up for the playboy lifestyle by trying to be anything but egocentric. He doesn't always succeed all the time, but you have to give it to the guy for trying. Interestingly enough though the techno-mogul seems to be just about everywhere these days, we still know little about him from his Terran years. As far as we can tell that accent he has is something of the creole sort (though we can't speak for sure on that), which probably means that the guy didn't come from money. We have to admire him for that, and for what he's chosen to do with his money around here. And wouldn't ya know it' The guy ain't bad to look at either. Hence the special spot on our list.
3. Alain DeMuer RhyDin, RhyDin, RhyDin. We know you are depressed that Alain is not this year's sexiest. To be honest, we are a little also. But rest assured the Baron is still vastly sexy above his other sexy counterparts. Alain " formerly of D.E. " has always been a force to be reckoned with in both everyday life and in upright tangible resistance. What are we talking about' Why, the fact that this bloke is a smooth-talker who has put a number of fellows behind jail and doubtlessly bedded innumerable women simply with that smoky, devilish simper of his. Must I go on' I must. Nowadays Alain of Silver Mark (which doesn't have the same ring as D.E., no offense Sexiest 2010) seems to be bedding only one babe; but that does not necessarily mean his sexiness has diminished. No, chances are his sexiness is better utilized behind closed doors. Of course we are perfectly and completely fine with that, and in fact envy the woman who has his full attention. And so, regretfully we must bump him down a few notches, but this does not mean our lascivious dreaming will end.
2. Sinjin Fai Sin's fan base has never waxed or waned, RhyDin, as we're sure you've noticed by his nomination for Winterfest this year. Though his appearances may be few, they are always met with much glee and fanfare. Actually they usually go unnoticed until after the fact, and it is precisely that unassuming sneakiness that draws us to Sin like a moth to flame. That and his wiry, predatory stature" and his devilish smile" and his sardonic wit' and his raw, damn near indecent behavior that still to this day makes us just want to go all teeth and claws on him. Rrrawr. Basically, we just think Sin is the hottest thing ever and if we were allowed we would make him Sexiest Man in RhyDin every single year (maybe while giving Salvador the occasional win, just to give them something to bicker about). But though his steamy, delicious delicious debauchery has and never will diminish, we are forced to reduce his rank because WE NEVER SEE HIM. This must be remedied immediately. Team Sinners are beginning to convert to Team Sal, and once they do frankly we're not sure we can guarantee their safety.
1. Kalamere Ar'Din WHAT"! KALAMERE AR"DIN is the Sexiest Man in RhyDin"! You're dern skippy he is, people! This guy seems to make an awful, awful habit of flying under the radar, BUT NO LONGER. You cannot contain your sexiness, sir, however much you'd like to try to. The man is breathlessly good looking. We're talking belongs-on-the-silver-screen-so-Lelah-you-better-give-him-a-part good looking. He's got intense, penetrating eyes that you can easily get lost in and a body that has been honed and toned through years and years of practice in the dueling rings. Also, we needn't mention he's got a dueling record longer than Cor's" Let's just say it's long. The guy wrote the book on sword fighting. Well. Maybe he didn't, but he sure made some pretty sexy contributions. More than that, though, he is an unbelievably well-meaning person with a pain and problem tolerance bigger than Sin's" It's big. And we appreciate a guy who remembers the little things, like respecting others " including women " and having a decent amount of self-respect himself. And though his love life has been on the down, down low for a while now, we know that if he isn't happily settled already he very well soon be. After all" who wouldn't want to get it on' we mean, get down and dirty' we mean, knock boots with' we mean' go on a very nice date and have a nice talk" Oh heck. It doesn't really matter, because he's the SEXIEST MAN IN RHYDIN!