http://i849.photobucket.com/albums/ab51/RhyDinLittleTheatre/61.jpg Chase Dawson Staff Reporter

There can be few people in Rhy'Din these days who are unaware of The Rhy'Din Post, and fewer still who are not at least familiar with the name of one of its most prolific editors. Be it news, satire, gossip, or home, the Post provides a service to all those who like to be up-to-date with the latest happenings in this diverse city of ours. The offices of the Post are charmingly situated, but the charm is all on the outside; within, you're as likely to be shouted at for taking up space as you are to be welcomed for visiting. Not a day goes by in these offices when someone isn't being handed their spleen on a plate.

It is hardly a surprise, then, that one of the highest ranking editors here is one Darien Fenner, a man known for his outspoken opinions and, some would say, arrogant attitude. Whether he is inciting riots in the street, flirting shamelessly with anything in a skirt, or simply terrorising the summer's new intake of interns, Mr Fenner is certainly someone who does not like to be ignored.

Invited to his office for an interview, I was directed to a chair and told to get on with things, which I'm sure is no surprise to those who have met Mr Fenner in the past. While handsome in his own way, always immaculately dressed in Armani or some other designer's crisp lines, there is - and I have been told, has always been - something about the editor that will either rub you the wrong way or turn you into a fan girl. I should think my own leanings have already become glaringly obvious; however, this is the news, and I should at least attempt to be as impartial as possible, if only for the sake of the much-admired Colleen, Fenner's wife of only a few months.

Whatever his faults, no one can deny that Darien Fenner has made his mark on this city. But what was it that brought to the melting pot that is Rhy'Din in the first place" What, indeed, brought him into the oft-dangerous world of telling the news in the first place"

His tone is amused as he answers this, clearly unused to being on the other side of the microphone. "Truth be told I started out as a physics maj'a at UNSW - that's th'University of New South Wales. On a whim I took an intro to journalism course, purely to fill my time durin' th'summ'a. Th'profess'a I 'ad f'r that course ended up bein' a big inspiration; 'E sort'a....channeled my focus. 'Elped me realize that global things could be analyzed an' interpreted on a local, rudimentary scale and wit' much bett'a rationale than th'field'a science c'n appreciate. Aft'a takin' 'is class 'n' gettin' to know 'im, I decided t'double maj'a. As y'can imagine, that quickly tapered off int'a C&J - Communication and Journalism, and lat'a Social Science."

And Rhy'Din" How did these experiences translate into bringing him here, to cause chaos with simple facts and fabrications" "I 'ad been told by one 'r two folks that th'turmoil in RhyDin was som'min worth seein' and possibly writin' about, so I made a point'a visitin'. 'Aven't made it back t'Earth since." A fact for which Earth, I'm sure, is grateful for every day.

By now, no one can be unaware of the chaos that ensued from the proposed legislation; rioting, both magical and mundane, injuries to ego and physical forms, and all incited by the coverage offered by Mr Fenner's office at the Rhy'Din Post. Never let it be said that Darien Fenner is afraid of offering his opinion. But what is it that makes him so fearless, even in the face of the majority's censure"

"Well, bein' negative comes wit' th'territory of bein' an opinionated columnist," he says with a smirk. "If you'd ask me that question professionally, I'd simply tell ya that th'short of it is I'm paid t'give my opinion. Those who aren't amenable to my writin' c'n just as easily turn th'page. But personally' I s'pose it's the analytic in me, wantin' t'parse out th'bollucks in everyday news and tell people another side of the story."

A little over two years ago, The Rhy'Din Post was just one among many editorials circulated in the city, enjoying no special importance and certainly no high degree of readership. Since Mr Fenner's appointment as editor, however, this has changed dramatically; the Post has risen to become the pre-eminent source of current affairs across the city, enjoying a readership in the tens of thousands. Is this entirely down to Fenner's involvement"

"I'll be th'first t'admit that I'm anythin' but gracious, but I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that the Post isn't th'first publication in RhyDin to make a business outt'a news. Not includin' gossip rags, papers like The Oracle, The Evening Shroud, and The Enabler made tracks long before the Post started gettin' popular - but that's whe'ah my good sportsmanship ends." Unsurprisingly, this comment earns a grin of the type that dines upon excrement. "I think if th'news is the'ah and if it is written well or if it is entertainin', people in RhyDin are gon'na read it. It isn't so much a matt'a of off-and-on interest as the availability of information. ....Chroist, I sound like Driscol. But it's true. If the'ah are good people willin' t'write about it, chances are the'ah are good....well, the'ah are people willin' t'read it."

There are some - indeed, there are many - who say that those who deliver the news in factual form should be impartial; that those who tell the news have a responsibility to offer no opinion either way in order to avoid unduly influencing the readers for or against the subject of their writing. In accordance with this, not a day goes by when the Post is not accused of having become increasingly biased when reporting on certain subjects, and the blame for this bias is laid squarely at the feet of Mr Darien Fenner, often confused with the true Editor in Chief.

With typically uncaring aplomb, he addresses this issue dismissively as follows: "It's actually not my lead'aship. The established Post Editor in Chief's chair .... ....I wouldn't want, even if it meant addin' an extra zero to my paycheck. As f'r what I write, I don't know if I would call it "impartial.?" Again, that infuriating grin is on display. "I present a different perspective on stories. I can't 'elp it if what I write isn't all plums and daisies, but I'm sorry t'say that the world we live in ain't plums and daisies eith'a. So I would say if ya want som'min suga'-sweet t'read, I recommend th'back of your brekkie cereal box."

So there you have it, Rhy'Din - if you do not wish to read his opinions, Darien Fenner suggests you read the back of those ever popular breakfast cereals, Coco-Plops and Crunchy Nuts, for the on-going saga of the Governor Fido Hailstone and her Exploding Wigs of Death. Or perhaps he has something else to recommend" Some perk of his job that he would suggest the discerning reader to try"

"Oh, th'oth'a articles in'th Post, certainly." Forgive me if I'm wrong, but I do detect a certain amount of sarcasm in this reply, despite the smile that came with it. "Aside from writin' as freely as I like, bein' able t'go one-on-one wit' th'names of RhyDin - and not just governors, eith'a. Celebrities, business owners, both famous and infamous....It doesn't matt'a whetha' they are perceived in a great or a bad way; I jes' enjoy th'interview process." But evidently not from the other perspective.

Contrary to the popular belief in the office that Mr Fenner is in love with himself whole-heartedly and has no time for anyone else, male or female, some of you may already be aware that he did, in fact, get married not too long ago, to Colleen McLeod. Setting aside my utter amazement for the moment, I just had to ask ....was this a failed publicity stunt, or does he actually love her more than his own immaculately coiffed 'do"

"I 'ardly think I need a stunt t'make my attentions public, but since ya asked, no. It was nothin' like tha'. My wife shares th'same sens'a spontaneity as I, so naturally she thought elopin' was a corker of an idea. 'Sides; I ain't big on rages or B&S's, so keepin' t'ourselves suited us 'jes fine." Is anyone else disappointed in the lack of an outright declaration of love in this answer" Note - the question refers to disappointment, not surprise.

But aside from his lovely wife (who really is too good for him, but that's beside the point, being my opinion), what interests the controversial man of many words"

"I follow sports."

Not so many words there, then. Unsurprisingly, though, he has more to offer on the subject. "Not th'duels much, though those are divertin' if I'm bored enough, but locally I'm a big fan of the hockey leagues - Spacers and Nian's, definitely, though between you an' me th'latt'a could work on their offense. Oth'awise, occupyin' a seat at th'Dragon and is as good a diversion as any when I ain't writin'."

Lastly, and I'm afraid I cannot disguise my pleasure at having reached the end of this interview, the ever-popular enquiry ....what can we expect from the tog dog himself in the months to come"

"Well, I can't say much for me. I will follow and cov'a as much as RhyDin gives me. But personally I look forward to seein' what th'new governor's council churns up, as well as th'activities of some of our more....lucrative business industries and dealings exports. Enterprises, that is." Was that slip up a mistake, or is he being deliberately provocative? Answers on a postcard, please.

Addendum: At the time of my interview with Mr Fenner, Emmet Bane had not yet announced the impending arrival of a little bundle of joy in the Fenner household. Let us offer our congratulations to Mrs Fenner, and the sincere hope that this child does not take after its father.

Disclaimer: All opinions stated within the text of this article are those of the author and the interviewee, Mr Darien Fenner. Any offense taken is entirely your own problem.