- The RhyDin Post's black and gold logo flashes with an epic, orchestrated introduction theme. The logo spirals off the screen, and displays a high-tech news studio with flat screen television sets, and a massive, glossy black desk. Two men sit behind the desk. To the left (Peter Pham) is in his early thirties, of Asian ethnicity, has gelled black hair, and is in a navy suit. To the right (Chris Reed) is of Caucasian ethnicity with dark brown hair, is in his late thirties, is wearing a black suit, and has a vertical scar running down one side of his face. Chris happens to be wearing a white, black, and red power tie. -

Peter: How's it going, RhyDin! I'm Peter Pham, sports guy!

Chris: And I'm Chris Reed, former dueler. Welcome to the Post's continuing coverage of the Tour de RhyDin!

Peter: I see your team colors are a little more subtle this time around, Chris.

Chris: Only as far as you can see, Pete. Wait until you see what I'm selling on Rhy-Bay.

Peter: I'm almost afraid to ask.

Chris: Two words, Pete. CrushBob Pogs!

Peter: Yes, well. Good luck with that. - Swivels his chair towards the camera again. - RhyDin, tonight we're happy to spotlight another two fabulous duelers -

Chris: - Interrupting. - One fabulous dueler. I don't know about the other one.

Peter: She's an Emerald, Chris.

Chris: Yeah, but she's on a team called the "Fun-Tastics." I do not approve.

Peter: You don't approve because she's not on your team.

Chris: Is that so wrong"

Peter: - Gruffly. - As I was saying. We're happy to spotlight two fabulous duelers from the Fists segment in Tour de RhyDin. In one corner, at 5"10" and weighing in at one hundred fifty pounds, two-time Talon winner and Emerald, fighting for team Fun-Tastics, Maranya Valkonan!

Chris: I think that's Ergin-Falconne, Pete.

Peter: - Looks off to the side. - Brent' Fire the intern. - Smiles back at the camera. -

Chris: Maranya Ergin-Fa" that's too many names, though. I do believe her kids are going to get hell for it. I'm going to call her EmDoc. It rolls off the tongue better.

Peter: You do that, Chris. And in our other corner, at sixty-one centimeters, and who knows how many pounds" ranked Glass, and team member for CrushBob, Napoleon Bonarat!

Chris: I am highly entertained that the governor let a rodent onto his team. I wonder if he's trying to appeal to the" voting demographic of that' uh' species?"

Peter: Who knows. I would think you'd be the last one to criticize your team, though.

Chris: Oh I'm not disappointed. CrushBob is still the perfect team. I demand that they get a feature in RhyDin Illustrated.

Peter: Uh-huh. Well good luck with that. In the meantime, let's have a look at this match, shall we"

Chris: Absolutely, Pete. Now I don't know how EmDoc got a two-foot tall critter into the ring with her - maybe she just needs something to pound on. Womanly frustrations and all that. - but I'm just going to say this rat's got some guts.

Peter: Careful, Chris. I hear this fighter's got a bit of a temper on her.

Chris: Pffff. I can take her. Or I can just appeal to CrushBob.

- Roll footage, Round 1. SW/SW 1 All. -

Chris: How did that even" how did they both score" Does Bonarat have like" an ant complex" Strength ten times his size"

Peter: It looks like that. Look how he gets a low blow in as Valko' er" EmDoc is trying to play rodent football. Harsh.

- End footage Round 1. Roll footage, Round 2. FaDU/SpK 2-1 E.F. -

Ergin-Falconne: Dropping down, she avoids getting kicked by Napoleon, and sticks out a leg, aiming to sweep him down again.

Bonarat: Spins, his feet finding nothing!

Chris: Oh lord" flying rats! HA! Get it' Because pigeons"

Peter: - Interrupting. - I get it, Chris. Although I hardly think Bonarat is put into that category.

Chris: You're right. Let's do this, CrushBob!

- End footage Round 2. Roll footage, Round 3. FL/FL 2-1 E.F. -

Bonarat: Instead, he just hugs her.

Chris: Buh' wha?"

Peter: I don't even" I thought the Duel of Fists was about bloodying up your opponent"

Chris: There is no hugging in dueling! What the CRAP, Bonarat"! Get to the CRUSHING!

Peter: That round unsettles me to a frighteningly high degree.

- End footage Round 3. Roll footage, Round 4. SW/DU 3-1 E.F. -

- Zoom in on Maranya disturbing the rat's footing. -

Peter: I'm not sure how I feel about this round. I would think that Bonarat would be fast enough to skitter out of the way.

Chris: You'd think so, Pete! I'm beginning to think that's Bonarat's strong point. Maybe the governor saw some potential in him!

- End footage Round 4. Roll footage, Round 5. SnK/SW 4-1 E.F. -

Bonarat: "Guh!" Drops to his butt.

Ergin-Falconne: Oops. Well she tries for his tummy anyway.

Peter: " I wonder how the rat expected to land that sweep. I saw the attempt, but I just don't see the logic. It's not a matter of skill. It's a matter of force-to-mass ratio.

Chris: I'm telling you, Pete. The dude has got some kind of mad ant-like skill. I'm willing to bet he can haul like a tractor over his head with ease.

Peter: That might be a slight exaggeration, Chris"

Chris: Stop discriminating! He can be skilled and small, you know!

- End footage Round 5. Roll footage, Round 6. JB/DO 4-1 E.F. -

Chris: See"! Now we see that skill of Bonarat's paying off. Look how nimble he is on his feet' Er" claws. Feet' Claws.

Peter: I'm going to say feet. But you're right about that observation, Chris. Bonarat knows how to haul tail.

Chris: EmDoc looks very unwieldy to that quick thinking and out-maneuvering. Nice one, CrushBob!

- End footage Round 6. Roll footage, Round 7. SW/SnK 4-2 E.F. -

Bonarat: Kicks out as he graps onto a rope.

Peter: I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that I really like the method Bonarat's using here. He utilizes the recoil from the ropes to launch himself at his opponent, and clearly identifies one of her many openings.

- White arrow follows the trajectory of Napoleon's kick, landing on Maranya's shoulder. Slow motion. Action replay. -

Chris: I'll agree with you there, Pete - No surprise! He's very astute. It looks here like EmDoc's a little too eager to play football with the guy again, and is underestimating his agility. Careful! One thing I learned in my many, many years of dueling. Don't ever underestimate an opponent. Whether it's a two-foot tall rat, or a five-year old girl.

Peter: You got beaten up by a five-year old girl, didn't you?

Chris: Twice.

- End footage Round 7. Roll footage, Round 8. FL/SnK 4-3 E.F. -

Chris: CrushBob is back on the board! YEAHHH! Those claws have to to scratch. Go on, Bonarat! Scratch up her pretty face! BAM!

Peter: That looked like it hurt, actually. I hope the EmDoc has some disinfectant somewhere. Never know what?s underneath those claws.

Chris: I'll bet he's got some poison or something! I would be more than pleased if Bonarat had some dark, sinister side!

- End footage Round 8. Roll footage, Round 9. FaLP/JB 4 All. -

- Close-up on the rat popping Maranya and retreating. -

Chris: And he ties it up! Take THAT, Emerald! Ha HA!

Peter: What was the EmDoc honestly trying to avoid" I see him going in completely straight. Maybe she expected him to deviate. Either way, we get a nice view of her flexibility' although it's obscured by rat feet.

Chris: You're just jealous because my team is winning.

Peter: It's tied, Chris.

Chris: Close enough! He's rocking it for a newcomer!

- End footage Round 9. Roll footage, Round 10. FaDO/FL 5-4 E.F. -

Ergin-Falconne: Spinning step to get away from the grabby paws. Then for the counter, no back kick, but a kiss to the ratty nose.

Bonarat: Doesn't get to grapple her, but still hangs on.

Chris: HIDEOUS! There is no KISSING inside the ring! There is massive bloodshed and brawling! What is this crud"!

Peter: I'm all for showing off the EmDoc's light-footedness, but next time, try whapping him. I don't care if he gives you the sad eyes. It's a friggen" duel. The point is to cause pain!

Chris: I'm glad we see eye to eye on something!

- Camera pans back to the studio, where Chris looks disappointed. -

Chris: CrushBob had a really big opportunity there, Pete. Would Bonarat have won, he could have earned his team six nobles!

Peter: As it is though, EmDoc has earned the Fun-Tastics one. Still. A win is a win, and that was an entertaining one to say the least!

Chris: Are you thinking Bonarat is one to watch"

Peter: You know" I'm going to say yeah. The guy is fast. He's definitely got an advantage there.

Chris: I agree. I'm eager to see what else he can do for CrushBob.

Peter: Quite! Don't discount Ergin-Falconne, though. She's not an Emerald and ex-Talon for no reason.

Chris: But seriously, EmDoc. NO KISSING IN THE FRIGGEN" RINGS!

Peter: - Clears his throat. - That does it for all of us at the sports center for the RhyDin Post. I'm Peter Pham.

Chris: And I'm Chris Reed. And remember, RhyDin. If there is a fight that you would like broadcasted, do not hesitate to contact us!

Peter: You stay sporty, RhyDin!

- Fade out. Voices still continue. -

Chris: Ever get the feeling we're under-appreciated"

Peter: And under-paid. Someone get me a coffee!

Unidentified: You fired all the interns, sir!

Peter: You heard him, Chris. Off you go. Caf" Latte.

Chris: But I"!

Peter: Go on, now.

Chris: - Incessant grumbling. -

- End tape. -