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Gossip Columnist: Emmet "The It Man" Bane
Twenty-Five Campaign Slogans for 2011 February 9, 2011
Hello again, RhyDin my loves! Now....I'm not one to normally get into politics, and truth be told I probably couldn't tell you the difference between supply and demand and the ethics of carrying around a sexually-charged rabbit between your boobs every day, but there seems to me to be a big deal made about the RhyDin elections every year. And why shouldn't there be? It's only the one office of government that we actually have. And who better to entrust it to than people we know absolutely nothing about"
For fun, we at the Gossip Column got together and contemplated what it would be like if certain RhyDinians ran for office this year. What do you think you'd see on their campaign posters"
Salvador Delahada: "No, voting for me still won't make you hip."
Mason: "At least you won't know when I'm lying."
Harris: "I've upped my goals and standards. Up yours."
Red: "I've destroyed enough things in my life to know how to rebuild them."
Rand al'Tan: "If the first lady doesn't approve, I'm sure the first mistresses will."
Locke D'Vestavio: "Well" I look good, don't I?"
Kitty Helston: "I'm up here, bub."
Gabe: "Because I've got nothing better to do."
Daniel Brooks: "SEX, SEX, SEX!!! Now that I've got your attention, vote for me."
Koyliak VanDuran-Simon: "I'm at least the lesser of two evils."
Skid: "Voting for me is a vote against boring people."
Audrey Horne: "Save the animals. Adopt, rescue, sue for sexual harassment."
Alper Ergin II: "I'm at least good at pretending to be busy."
Cally: "It's O.K., I have an app for that."
Jonathan Granger: "I'll help as long as the cowboy hat's not on the doorknob."
Mack: "Unlike the other candidates, I've been sober for two months!"
Slate: "No drugs tests for anybody!"
Gigi Granger: "Tell Mike it was only business. I always liked him."
Lucien Mallorek: "A little Prozac goes a long way."
Ammy Spiritor: "I have more than enough problems to keep Murphy's Law occupied."
Robert Kidd: "I put the 'intimacy' in" legi?n'timacy."
Taneth Mercer: "If you like hugs, vote for me!"
Wesker: "I'm not one to be mysterious, but I can't tell you to vote for me or not and I can't tell you why."
Harper: "Having seen the former governors in office, I can assure you I am overqualified for this position."
Corlanthis: "Because life is too short not to worship me."
Twenty-Five Campaign Slogans for 2011 February 9, 2011
Hello again, RhyDin my loves! Now....I'm not one to normally get into politics, and truth be told I probably couldn't tell you the difference between supply and demand and the ethics of carrying around a sexually-charged rabbit between your boobs every day, but there seems to me to be a big deal made about the RhyDin elections every year. And why shouldn't there be? It's only the one office of government that we actually have. And who better to entrust it to than people we know absolutely nothing about"
For fun, we at the Gossip Column got together and contemplated what it would be like if certain RhyDinians ran for office this year. What do you think you'd see on their campaign posters"
Salvador Delahada: "No, voting for me still won't make you hip."
Mason: "At least you won't know when I'm lying."
Harris: "I've upped my goals and standards. Up yours."
Red: "I've destroyed enough things in my life to know how to rebuild them."
Rand al'Tan: "If the first lady doesn't approve, I'm sure the first mistresses will."
Locke D'Vestavio: "Well" I look good, don't I?"
Kitty Helston: "I'm up here, bub."
Gabe: "Because I've got nothing better to do."
Daniel Brooks: "SEX, SEX, SEX!!! Now that I've got your attention, vote for me."
Koyliak VanDuran-Simon: "I'm at least the lesser of two evils."
Skid: "Voting for me is a vote against boring people."
Audrey Horne: "Save the animals. Adopt, rescue, sue for sexual harassment."
Alper Ergin II: "I'm at least good at pretending to be busy."
Cally: "It's O.K., I have an app for that."
Jonathan Granger: "I'll help as long as the cowboy hat's not on the doorknob."
Mack: "Unlike the other candidates, I've been sober for two months!"
Slate: "No drugs tests for anybody!"
Gigi Granger: "Tell Mike it was only business. I always liked him."
Lucien Mallorek: "A little Prozac goes a long way."
Ammy Spiritor: "I have more than enough problems to keep Murphy's Law occupied."
Robert Kidd: "I put the 'intimacy' in" legi?n'timacy."
Taneth Mercer: "If you like hugs, vote for me!"
Wesker: "I'm not one to be mysterious, but I can't tell you to vote for me or not and I can't tell you why."
Harper: "Having seen the former governors in office, I can assure you I am overqualified for this position."
Corlanthis: "Because life is too short not to worship me."