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Amelia Enderwood: Satirist
Women in Dueling: Glass ceiling not so much shattered as scuffed tiresomely February 24, 2010
Annie Miller, new CEO for Silver Lark Industries had some wise words for her colleagues in a 911 call the day of her promotion.
"I broke the glass ceiling! AAAHH! There's blood EVERYWHERE!"
When asked by the operator whether she was referring to a metaphorical debut in a man's world or if a shard of glass had in fact entered her former boss's aorta, only hysterical screaming ensued.
Chaos and massive bloodshed aside, lots of women these days would kill to be in Miller's shoes. And lately, more and more have become closer to doing just that. Rhetta Biggurson, a serial killer working in the fast food industry, claims that she has to murder twice as many people just to receive the same amount of recognition as her male counterparts.
"I got so tired of seeing the Watch making every effort to apprehend slavers and evil scientists and completely ignoring the women on "wanted" posters. I just want to be treated like any other homicidal psychopath."
Of late, the dueling venues in RhyDin have begun to seem like a fast-track elevator to the top, assuming the stress of leadership can be handled.
"We almost had a good situation going with Rielea," claims feminist and Women, Gnomes, and Salamander-and-Newt Look-Alikes for Equal Rights chairperson, Eugenia Yoni, said. "She was an exceptional Overlady who didn't take any guff from the chauvinists in the rings" Except when she did."
According to Yoni, the W.G.S.N.L.A., or Wogosalanala to its members who claim the pretentious endearment is not effective in the least, has been keeping a closer eye on dueling-related sports lately to ensure that women are making an acceptable dent in a frame already battered and barely hanging on its hinges by their male opposites.
"I understand that Baron Eternity has made his girlfriend his subordinate," argued Yoni of Kelathe Skelicia's recent appointment to Squire of Dockside. "What are we, in the dark ages" Next thing you know, his mandatory orders are going to be to go home and make him a sandwich."
Added Yoni later: "It is degrading. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go home and feed my cats."
Iris Potts, vice-chair for the W.G.S.N.L.A. took a break from leisurely criticism of misogyny to offer the following statement off the record:
"We aren't going to get very far in RhyDin if we stick to trivial rallies and mild protests. If we expect to chip away at the glass ceiling, we need someone ballsy. I hear men are great for that."
In related news, Fizzleburber Nestletoof, a stationary ceramic garden gnome from West End, is filing an injunction against the W.G.S.N.L.A. for discrimination.
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Women in Dueling: Glass ceiling not so much shattered as scuffed tiresomely February 24, 2010
Annie Miller, new CEO for Silver Lark Industries had some wise words for her colleagues in a 911 call the day of her promotion.
"I broke the glass ceiling! AAAHH! There's blood EVERYWHERE!"
When asked by the operator whether she was referring to a metaphorical debut in a man's world or if a shard of glass had in fact entered her former boss's aorta, only hysterical screaming ensued.
Chaos and massive bloodshed aside, lots of women these days would kill to be in Miller's shoes. And lately, more and more have become closer to doing just that. Rhetta Biggurson, a serial killer working in the fast food industry, claims that she has to murder twice as many people just to receive the same amount of recognition as her male counterparts.
"I got so tired of seeing the Watch making every effort to apprehend slavers and evil scientists and completely ignoring the women on "wanted" posters. I just want to be treated like any other homicidal psychopath."
Of late, the dueling venues in RhyDin have begun to seem like a fast-track elevator to the top, assuming the stress of leadership can be handled.
"We almost had a good situation going with Rielea," claims feminist and Women, Gnomes, and Salamander-and-Newt Look-Alikes for Equal Rights chairperson, Eugenia Yoni, said. "She was an exceptional Overlady who didn't take any guff from the chauvinists in the rings" Except when she did."
According to Yoni, the W.G.S.N.L.A., or Wogosalanala to its members who claim the pretentious endearment is not effective in the least, has been keeping a closer eye on dueling-related sports lately to ensure that women are making an acceptable dent in a frame already battered and barely hanging on its hinges by their male opposites.
"I understand that Baron Eternity has made his girlfriend his subordinate," argued Yoni of Kelathe Skelicia's recent appointment to Squire of Dockside. "What are we, in the dark ages" Next thing you know, his mandatory orders are going to be to go home and make him a sandwich."
Added Yoni later: "It is degrading. Now if you will excuse me, I need to go home and feed my cats."
Iris Potts, vice-chair for the W.G.S.N.L.A. took a break from leisurely criticism of misogyny to offer the following statement off the record:
"We aren't going to get very far in RhyDin if we stick to trivial rallies and mild protests. If we expect to chip away at the glass ceiling, we need someone ballsy. I hear men are great for that."
In related news, Fizzleburber Nestletoof, a stationary ceramic garden gnome from West End, is filing an injunction against the W.G.S.N.L.A. for discrimination.
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