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Junior Columnist: Carrie Michaels
You Know You Have Lived in RhyDin Too Long When... August 17, 2011
1. It's a lousy day when living interferes with your sex.
2. You have seen more women bleeding than you would at the Vagina Monologues.
3. When Eless wears the same thing two days in a row, you think time has stopped.
4. You only noticed the plague when it interfered with your commute to the local watering hole.
5. Wait' Things cost something"
6. You're seriously considering taking up golf.
7. Unless it is prepared by a complete stranger, you're not eating it.
8. Naked women have become uninteresting.
9. Of the six weddings you have attended in the past six months, half were yours.
10. Cupcakes are more welcome than college scholarships.
11. You think the "back alley' refers to ninety-five percent of RhyDin.
12. All the clothes you own are tailor-made or cost roughly the same as a Lamborghini.
13. If it's Friday, it must be tequila Friday.
14. If it's Monday, it must be tequila Monday.
15. The "X" and "Z" sections in your address book are out of space.
16. Smiling and eye contact are signs of overt aggression.
17. Hops is a vegetable group.
18. Lint-rolling your date's fur off your bed sheets is no big deal.
19. When blood rains from the skies, you complain about unseasonal weather.
20. The surest way of getting to West End is by following the police sirens.
21. Risa's outfit is the only color you've seen in a month.
22. You've memorized a library of comments to give reporters in preparation for the next tragedy or natural disaster.
23. You enlist an armored superhero's services to open a jar of pickles.
24. You schedule your mother's funeral and your son's baptism around the Warlord Tournament.
25. This article came from a stolen subscription.
You Know You Have Lived in RhyDin Too Long When... August 17, 2011
1. It's a lousy day when living interferes with your sex.
2. You have seen more women bleeding than you would at the Vagina Monologues.
3. When Eless wears the same thing two days in a row, you think time has stopped.
4. You only noticed the plague when it interfered with your commute to the local watering hole.
5. Wait' Things cost something"
6. You're seriously considering taking up golf.
7. Unless it is prepared by a complete stranger, you're not eating it.
8. Naked women have become uninteresting.
9. Of the six weddings you have attended in the past six months, half were yours.
10. Cupcakes are more welcome than college scholarships.
11. You think the "back alley' refers to ninety-five percent of RhyDin.
12. All the clothes you own are tailor-made or cost roughly the same as a Lamborghini.
13. If it's Friday, it must be tequila Friday.
14. If it's Monday, it must be tequila Monday.
15. The "X" and "Z" sections in your address book are out of space.
16. Smiling and eye contact are signs of overt aggression.
17. Hops is a vegetable group.
18. Lint-rolling your date's fur off your bed sheets is no big deal.
19. When blood rains from the skies, you complain about unseasonal weather.
20. The surest way of getting to West End is by following the police sirens.
21. Risa's outfit is the only color you've seen in a month.
22. You've memorized a library of comments to give reporters in preparation for the next tragedy or natural disaster.
23. You enlist an armored superhero's services to open a jar of pickles.
24. You schedule your mother's funeral and your son's baptism around the Warlord Tournament.
25. This article came from a stolen subscription.