tap, tap, tap
The sound seemed to echo and bounce off of the solid walls of the tiny bathroom.
tap, tap, tap
With each faint drum of the droplets as they hit the shallow plaster of the tub, their ruby red color splattering in a hypnotic pattern as if it were paint on a canvas slung by a new aged "artist". The scattered blots mesmerizing to the tortured blue gaze that fell upon them; tortured, yes but relief as well.
Her gaze wavering from the vivid artwork of her own making only to slide over to a new droplet forming, the blood seeping to the surface rapidly from freshly made cut, beading fatly before beginning its journey down her upturned forearm to the tip of her middle finger before the swell of blood left behind in the cut catches up to join. Once reunited the drop is fattened until to heavy to sustain its hold on the pad of her finger and releases to join the rest, another splatter on canvas.
tap, tap"
Her lashes slowly close over her dazed stare, cutting off the last image of the splattered bathtub. Her head drops a little and makes contact with the side of the tub. There is thin sheen of sweat that is glistening on her brow the coolness of the side of the tub like a cool cloth placed on a fevered brow is another welcomed relief. As she takes a slow, steady inhale of breath she captures the air around her and holds it hostage within her lungs for a few moments before she exhales, releasing it back changed; different than it was before she had taken it within her.
tap??".tap"
The exhale had done the same to her, changing her, cleansing her soul upon its exit from her body and leaving her body limp with satisfaction and relief. As she listened to the final few taps of blood as they fell their slowed and spacious sounds diminishing as her body worked to stop the damage she had done once again to that tender skin, she sat back slightly so that she was sitting on the backs of her calves, relieving some of the pressure on her knees from her previous position poised over the bathtub. How long had she been there" The silent cry from her knees told her entirely too long.
tap".
A small grateful smile curled her lips. Her left hand, still grasping the razor, she languidly moved her left arm from its perch next to the blood lined twin and listed softly to the side until she sat on the cold tile floor. Leaving the right arm over the tub, supported by her elbow on the side, her forearm still facing the ceiling the several small slits made in its otherwise soft thin layer of flesh, irritated and reddened but healing, she stretched out her legs. A soft popping noise as both knees made one final outcry to their indecent treatment before the pain ebbed and began to ease at the new position.
She tipped her chin up as her head went back, gently finding the wall. The small smile still on her lips, her lashes parted and her vision restored. All of the pain that had come flooding back, waking her from that same nightmare"all of the anguish at what her memory would give her no relief from as it played through the highlight real that was her twisted reality for two very long years"all of it, gone; washed away from her soul with each cut and each escaped drop just as she would wash away the evidence of her "therapy' session.
This always put her right again. This weekly ritual, cleansed her of the poison that lingered, ridding her of it as if it had never been is what allowed her to smile. This allowed her to be open-hearted as she had once been, as she longed to be as often as possible. This always put her right again.
The sound seemed to echo and bounce off of the solid walls of the tiny bathroom.
tap, tap, tap
With each faint drum of the droplets as they hit the shallow plaster of the tub, their ruby red color splattering in a hypnotic pattern as if it were paint on a canvas slung by a new aged "artist". The scattered blots mesmerizing to the tortured blue gaze that fell upon them; tortured, yes but relief as well.
Her gaze wavering from the vivid artwork of her own making only to slide over to a new droplet forming, the blood seeping to the surface rapidly from freshly made cut, beading fatly before beginning its journey down her upturned forearm to the tip of her middle finger before the swell of blood left behind in the cut catches up to join. Once reunited the drop is fattened until to heavy to sustain its hold on the pad of her finger and releases to join the rest, another splatter on canvas.
tap, tap"
Her lashes slowly close over her dazed stare, cutting off the last image of the splattered bathtub. Her head drops a little and makes contact with the side of the tub. There is thin sheen of sweat that is glistening on her brow the coolness of the side of the tub like a cool cloth placed on a fevered brow is another welcomed relief. As she takes a slow, steady inhale of breath she captures the air around her and holds it hostage within her lungs for a few moments before she exhales, releasing it back changed; different than it was before she had taken it within her.
tap??".tap"
The exhale had done the same to her, changing her, cleansing her soul upon its exit from her body and leaving her body limp with satisfaction and relief. As she listened to the final few taps of blood as they fell their slowed and spacious sounds diminishing as her body worked to stop the damage she had done once again to that tender skin, she sat back slightly so that she was sitting on the backs of her calves, relieving some of the pressure on her knees from her previous position poised over the bathtub. How long had she been there" The silent cry from her knees told her entirely too long.
tap".
A small grateful smile curled her lips. Her left hand, still grasping the razor, she languidly moved her left arm from its perch next to the blood lined twin and listed softly to the side until she sat on the cold tile floor. Leaving the right arm over the tub, supported by her elbow on the side, her forearm still facing the ceiling the several small slits made in its otherwise soft thin layer of flesh, irritated and reddened but healing, she stretched out her legs. A soft popping noise as both knees made one final outcry to their indecent treatment before the pain ebbed and began to ease at the new position.
She tipped her chin up as her head went back, gently finding the wall. The small smile still on her lips, her lashes parted and her vision restored. All of the pain that had come flooding back, waking her from that same nightmare"all of the anguish at what her memory would give her no relief from as it played through the highlight real that was her twisted reality for two very long years"all of it, gone; washed away from her soul with each cut and each escaped drop just as she would wash away the evidence of her "therapy' session.
This always put her right again. This weekly ritual, cleansed her of the poison that lingered, ridding her of it as if it had never been is what allowed her to smile. This allowed her to be open-hearted as she had once been, as she longed to be as often as possible. This always put her right again.