Topic: A prayer unanswered; the beginning of the fall

MastrStVrain

Date: 2006-04-09 21:23 EST
( It's a multi-parter :) There'll be some blood. I sorry. Oh, and....its kinda long. DISCLAMER: My grammar sucks. I've been drinking. )

And it had all been going so well.

Joseph StVrain found himself in the wheat fields of Karthe, which was a few miles north of the Kalean City of Balaan. It was October (in his mind, the local months were named differently) in the 2nd Era, 498. Currently, the war between the Kingdoms of Kale, Brog'dosh, and Sombrean was in its fourth year, with the Kalean Army finally able to push back the Orcish and Sombrean invaders to nearly the original, prewar borders. Joe was dressed in his Rougish armor: the design was similiar for all of his Squad of Rogues. It was dark brown leather, which hugged and surrounded mail on either side. While it might of been a pain in the butt to repair, the leather softened some blows and silenced the sound of rustling mail; which was invaluable to the Rogue's preferred line of work, which was guerilla warfare.

Just slightly after dawn, a low mist hung over the fields, artifically created by the moist breath exhaled from thousands of humans, orcs, and various other races enlisted for the battle. The sun had refused to rise, and instead hid behind a dark gray cloud cover, which provided a light drizzle; the pitter-patter of water droplets upon plate and chainmail nearly a low drumming.

Deep in the back of Joe's mind, as he crouched low to the ground, he thought about the trampled wheat under his feet, which was ready to be reaped. But that wasn't what caught his real attention. It was the over-extension of the Orc bearing down on him, whose two-handed, double sided axe cut the air just above him, which made the application of his broadsword to the thing's exposed neck all the easier. As he pulled his thrusted weapon back out of the twitching beast, he took a quick glance of the battle around him, which was well into progress already. The true battle had started well before dawn, lit by torchlight and fire-arrows. But now was different. His division of mercanaries had taken the center, and were doing well. The biggest problem his men had was the giant who wielded a warhammer the size of a man. But he would be dealt with, as the ranks of men between the giant and Joe were thinning. His flanks were holding up, and the archers on both sides hesitated firing into the groups of men in the center, waiting for a victor before loosing.

Instinct gnawed on the back of his mind....something wasn't right. But he pushed on anyway. In front of him, an orc raised his blade to strike down at one of his men, who'd been winded by the orc's elbow strike a moment before. He had no problem striking an opponent with his back turned, and thats exactly what he did, driving his own blade up and inside the ribcage before the creatures own blow could land. And now instinct, which had been nagging him quietly before, grabbed his ear and screamed into it. With a grunt of effort, he attempted to unfree his blade from the orc's shoulder....which held fast, caught on sinew and blood, so he pushed the creature away and turned....but he already knew what he was up against. His hands raised as a blur of a steel warhammer swung horizontally at him, held one-handed by the giant, who apparently didn't like him anymore. Both hands caught just under the warhammer faster than the eye could track....and even with him being as strong as he was, he would lose this game of leverage.

Slowed down just slightly by his arms, the warhammer struck him just left of his breastbone, the impact's force transferring through the mithril-reinforced dark brown leather cuirass he wore. He felt that whole side of his chest shatter instantly, but the mere force of the blow sent him flying....the pain would arrive when he hit the ground a few seconds later. Stars swirled in his vision. Winded, he writhed on the ground as he thought his chest would explode. The world slowed down. The sounds of steel clashing, and the cries of men and orc as they lay blooded subsided. There was only his ragged breathing. And the pitter of drizzle. And the ground shaking thrum-thrum as the giant advanced on him. That mother f*cker...

He needed something. A plan. A weapon. His head bobbled to either side, searching for something....there were his fallen brothers around him, but no weapons immediately available. Those gray orbs looked up at the palish, dirty skin of the giant as leered down at him, who wore a rag-tag collection of mail and leather armor. It glanced at its warhammer....which had obviously snapped from the impact on him, which now remained a sharped metal handle, about 6 feet long. Joe grinned, blood on his teeth, up at the thing....at least my ribs broke your f*cking weapon The thought was obvious on his face, which made the giant mad.

As it turns out, one of the first rules with dealing with giants is "Don't make it mad." And this giant was no exception, who placed most of its 600 pound weight on Joe's abdomen with a big, muddy, hairy foot, and raised the handle to drive it into Joe's already wounded chest. With no plan, no weapon, and no escape....Joe had nothing. His hands beat in futility on the only thing he could reach, the foot, as it began crushing his internal organs.

The handle came down, sharp, snapped end first. There was a crunching sound, followed by a wet one as the metal slipped and tore through his lung, and out the other side. His neck arched back, letting out a cry of pain....his breath out casting a reddish haze. There was blood haze on his face now....and those gray orbs turned to look up at the giant over top of him. He had no way out. Nothing. Or so he thought.

Deep inside his mind, something whispered to him. He knew what it was....it always gnawed at his consciousness....but now, inches to death, he listened. It promised power and immediate solutions to problems at hand. And Joe listened. It pointed out his failure as a leader....how his men, his brothers, died for his errors....and offered a solution, as all good manipulators seduce. Rage at his own inability festered. Rage at the loss of good men, his brothers, to these animals infurated him. And Joe gave in to the rage.

Those steely gray orbs narrowed as the looked up at the giant, whose yellow eyes and yellow broken teeth mocked him. That stupid looking face. His logical thought process broke down, and he didn't care. It wasn't important. He hated giants now....their whole f*cking species, and their smaller green-skinned sh*t-stains, the orcs. They were killing HIS men....and Joe lost it.

He let the other Side of his powers take hold....powers he'd tried so hard to avoid.

It seemed to take forever, to him, to be convinced to do such a thing. But to the world, it was a blink of an eye.

Those gray eyes gained a color....yellow, which formed immediately around the pupils. His lips curled in a hateful snarl as both leather clad hands took the pole which impaled him to the ground. His mouth opened, and the roar that came from him shook the ground nearby, echoing across the battlefield as the the sound waves bounced off steel, flesh, and the scenery. He pulled the broken warhammer handle out of him, even against the arms of the giant above him. Blue-white lightning sparkled from his fingertips, surging up the metal handle and causing the giant to release the broken warhammer handle as dark electrical energy arced across its flesh, searing. He sat up, oblivious to pain and reached under the leather cuirass of the giant....taking firm hold of the large, sweaty genitals of the thing above him, in a grip that was like a vice; completely fueled by rage and a power beyond then all. With a grab, twist, and a pull, the giant doubled over....and was promptly met in the eye with the bloodied, sharpened end of the warhammer handle; he buried the weapon all the way to where his first was holding it. And just as abruptly, he remembered himself....and pushed away his anger and rage. Which just as abruptly lost him his powers. The giant twitched a few times, exhaled, and collapsed back on Joe with a cry of agony from the one on the bottom. Both his blood, and the giant's soaked him...as he lay.

The voice, deep inside him, cackled at him, having scored a victory....then retreated, whispering at how he'd merely gotten a taste of the power that could be his.....and then shock set in. He was barely there now....physically unable to remove the crushing weight of the giant corpse above him, and mortally wounded, he waited to die....and prayed it would finally come to him....he'd lived way too long.

The yellow in his eyes retreated with the voice, and the pure gray orbs unfocused. He coughed, foaming blood on his lips. A picture from the past filled his mind....deep space surrounding a ship of metal, and he smiled. He saw a human face peer down at him, Martin he recognized, who looked up and screamed for a healer....but he could barely make out the voice. Joe's hand reached up and smacked Martin's lead to get his attention, and got it immediately, one of Martin's mail-covered hands gripping his.

"Rally....get all to top....watch....archers...cav...get....cavalry to....to.." His voice dropped to just a whisper as he ordered. Martin was one of his older men, thirty or so, with a wife and two kids. Responsible kind of guy. He'd make a good division commander. He'd done a good job at the Battle of....I'm unfocused....wow, shock must really be taking hold... But Martin wasn't satisfied. "Hold on, sir!" Martin screamed back at him above the clash of steel still ringing. "Calvary around to take the archers, sir?" Joe bobbled his head in affirmation. His vision began to tunnel....blackness covering up his peripherial vision. His breathing came in rasps. Jerky. Irregular. Finally I get to die.... His last true sight was several of his men attempting to lift the giant's corpse from off his body. Stupid f*ckers, go fight the battle... he tried waving them away. And then the neurons inside his brain fired as the chemical pathways broke down...and his sight became the last show of the culimation of his life; the last breath he expected to exhale was released in a sigh.

(continued at a time that is both later and not now) (But hey, seriously, let me know if you like it. I'm a little rusty.)

MastrStVrain

Date: 2006-04-10 23:07 EST
(Hey, drinkin again. :) ) ( I do, in no way, condone or glorify the use of alcohol and RP. Alcohol is bad, and horrible thing. It has horrible consequences....headaches, vomiting, passing out, and waking up next to an ugly girl. Or even worse, an ugly guy. ) ( Uhh...Jedi rock. George Lucas does too. Please don't sue me. :) )

....he'd heard about the pre-death flashbacks, and thought them to be just images and sound. And as the first bit of his life came back to him, he realized it was so much more. It was a smell that hit him first....an aroma of mostly flesh and a little hint of flowers that got him.....and he knew the first person he'd see. And in the swirl of emotion, he was lost.

"Mommmy! It hurrrts!" He heard a voice, high pitched and in a half sob cry out....the world started to fade in with colors....but it was hazy, distorted. He saw shapes....he was cold. Almost naked, from the feel of light clothing on him....almost an apron. He squirmed....God my arm hurts so much....please....make it stop...

"It'll be okay, Joey....I promise. Just let Mr. Two-Bee-Five take a look at your arm. I promise it won't hurt," A voice responded....it was so familiar....so comforting. He felt a thumb on his face and tried squirming away....but the warm digits pushed out the distortions of his vision, which turned out to be naught but tears. He squinted as he looked at the big, metallic framed creature as it hobbled over to him, where he sat on a large, white metal table. It had a big, evil looking green tube in the steely arm-pieces it used to manipulate objects, and its 'eyes', the bright yellow lights that stood in its 'face' leered at him. Oh my god....get that thing away from me...!

"No!! Mommy!" The high-pitched voice sobbed, glancing up, and with his unhurting arm, wrapped tighter around which, logically, was Mommy. And for the first time in nearly 130 years, Joseph StVrain looked up at the face of his mother. She had a soft face, and a large, reassuring smile that lit up her features. Green eyes peered down at him, and blondish curls were pulled back into a bun. To Joe, the man, she was obviously worried...a few of the lines in her face obvious. To Joe, the child....that face was his world, his everything. Wait....the day I broke my arm....oh god, no..... "Hey, Joseph...." Those green eyes became a little harder as they peered down at him. "Mr. Two-Bee-Five has to fix your arm, or it won't get better. My big soldier isn't afraid of a droid, is he" Do you think the clone troops are afraid of droids?" God, I wanted to be a clone trooper so bad....and fight the droid armies. I must be what now....3" 4" Probably closer to three.... His whole psyche turned defiant at her words....he was slowly losing the grip of who he was....and getting lost in the memories of he had been.

No. The clone troopers are tough. They wouldn't be afraid. He sniffed, puffing out his trembling lower lip in a pout. "No. 'he cwone twoopers are tuff." He set his jaw, and casted a glance towards the droid, grimacing a little as he held out his arm. "Tey're not afwaid." Fearing death, he watched as the droid, 2B5 reached out with those metallic talons and afixed the green cylinder to his arm....which hissed and bubbled as it settled slowly down upon his forearm. His hand tighted on his mommy....but he was going to be a clone trooper one day. He wasn't going to be afraid. There was a rush of liquid over his skin, where the green cylinder was afixed....

....And then he was skipping out of that wing, hand holding tightly on that of his mother's. I was brave, Mom....you saw it! Look at me! "I was brave! You saw!" He grinned up at his mother, lollipop stick protruding, one that 2B5 had given him for being a brave trooper. He tugged on his mother's arm to get her attention, as she was too busy looking straight ahead, navigating the interior of the Temple. The Hospital was in the Temple....at least, for the ones who didn't have a lot of money. The Temple was full of oranges and living things....which was all too drab for the little 5 year old, who tugged again on his mother's hand. But she stopped him. No, she had stopped completely. Caught in mid-skip, the child fumbled for footing and would have toppled if not for the firm grasp his mother had on his hand.

Those bright blues of his looked up at what stopped his mother....and it turned out to be two, tall grown-ups, clad in dark brown robes. He blinked up at them....of course he'd seen grownups like this before....they were all over the City. They liked to talk to him and tell him jokes, but were always so nice. Sometimes they gave him candy. Joe would trust them completely. It was something about the instincts of a child.

The smaller one on the left spoke, a young man who seemed to be in his late teens. "Excuse me, ma'am. My name is Qualar Priory. I'm not sure if you have been informed....but your child is a Sensitive. Myself and Master Lux-" but he was just as quickly cut off.

"No. I've told you many times...I'm not going to give you my child." His mother replied....there was a tone in her voice that all children understood, which was the "Immediately Stop" tone. Which usually followed with the "First-Middle-Last Name and spankings. Joe nearly dropped the lollipop out of his mouth. What's the matter, Mom' Why do they upset you? "Whattsa matter, Mommy' Why are dey makin' you mad?" He asked, glancing up at her....and looking back to the two brown robed adults in front of him.

The second of the two, older, placed his hands in front of his chest and lowered his torso in a bow, his head lowering. "My apologizes, ma'am. We meant no offense. We'll make sure not to bother you or your son if you need to enter the Temple." He motioned with his hand, and the two of them walked off, into the crowd...of other brown-robed adults, and some little kids, like him. Actually, there was a lot of people inside the antechamber. Almost all of them wore wore really drab clothes...dull browns or grays. There was no yelling. No loud noises. No playing. No fun was in the Temple.

For this was the Jedi Temple, deep in the heart of the City of Coruscant. And this, the deep of his mind recalled, was beginning of the nightmares that plagued him for decades. One that he'd awake shaking, sweating, his heart racing....and sometimes have to cry himself back to sleep, even as a grown man. He'd been forced to relive this event thousands of times. Here, in this temple, in a few seconds....started the Rise of the Empire. His first true memory....the only real memory he had of his mother besides pictures, would be the last time he'd ever see her again. In fact, his mind reflected....cue the scream.

A scream cut through the antechamber, causing all heads to turn towards the North entrance, over two hundred meters away. There stood a hooded, robed figure....clad entirely in black. It held something in its hand....a blue white light, which shown brightly. There was something brown at its feet, which lay in two pieces. A body. Fear cut him through him like a knife, and he wrapped around his mothers leg. The figure, even so far away, chilled his very bones to the core.

Behind the figure, clone troopers, shining in their white armor with blue markings, poured in the entrance....Maybe they would fight away the bad guy....

But instead, they raised the black rifles in their hands and fired into the crowd. The first row had no chance....paralyzed with fear at the black figure who marched into the room, blue-white light sizzling through people. Now there were screams of panic....and all the other brown-robed people inside the Temple suddenly had their own lights, all of different color. Red lances of energy shot out at the groups of Jedi, some reflected. Some not. The bodies started falling.

His mother, with strength seeming impossible to her frame, yanked him up and tucked him on her shoulder, legs pumping as she made for the South exit, away from everything. Joe, his head barely over her shoulder, saw the dark man go up the stairs to the second floor....where all the Jedi lived. People were screaming. His mother was. Tears were streaming down Joe's little cheeks as those azures stayed locked on dark, hooded figure....completely paralyzed with terror.

After a few more strides, his mother ground to a halt, and Joe finally took his eyes off the figure to look in front of him....and more, white-armored clone troopers entered the antechamber, also firing into the panicking crowd. He heard the clones' voices as they coordinated....their identical voice so eerie now. There was no other way out...Joe wrapped his little arms around his mother's neck, and sobbed into her....inside, he hurt so much....and he couldn't understand why. A few of the brown-robed Jedi gathered a few of the civilians together and made for another room....one of them, the younger one that had spoken to them before, took a hold of his mother's arm. There was panic in the teen's eyes....but a look of calm at the same time. All the brown-clad adults had the look. The group of them raced towards an open doorway....and Joe watched as the Jedi raised their lights and blocked the red lights that the clones shot at them. And Joe watched as one of their guardians was struck, and fell. And he watched as the clone troopers emptied more rounds into the fallen Jedi, the body twitching with each shot.

Inside the new room, a few of the Jedi worked to lock the door....there was no exit. The entire room was darkened, and lights shone from nowhere....indicating stars and their revolving planets, which glowed, oblivious to the plight of the incomers. The older one, with thinning hair spoke, as he immediately assesed the situation. "In here, we'll make our stand. Padawan Qualar, please take the miss's child and escape with him through the ventilation duct." He motioned towards a small grate inside the far corner of the room. There was a sad smile as he looked at the rest of them. "Which, I'm afraid, is only large enough for my Padawan and the child. Is that alright with you, ma'am?" The Master directed at his mother, who, wordless, nodded. Both her arms tighened around her son....tears of her own welling up and pouring out of those bright green eyes. They were all going to die. And the Master knew it. Saw it.

"You....you be good for Qualar, alright baby' You be strong...." She nuzzled into his cheek, which then offered a kiss to the same spot, her lower lip trembling. "Go with him, ok" Mommy loves you...oh god, so much baby...." And then loosed her grip on her son, trying to remove him from her....and the child, absolutely terrified, refused to release. Oh god, Mom, no, please, don't make me go away...I'll be good, I swear....I won't cry when my brother teases me....Please, Mom....no....

"No, Mommy...I wanna stay...." But a sound at the door cause him to jump....the sound of blaster-fire against the doorway. And his mother took the advantage, uncurling the squirming child and handing him to the teenage Padawan. Another thump, and some of the door began to glow. "Mommmy!" He wailed, struggling uselessly in the teen's grasp, who immediately went for the grate.

But this was where his dream usually ended. He always woke up by now....half petrified from fear of the dark figure, half mourning the loss of the only real blood relative he could remember. Unfortunately, repressed memories by his consciousness did not stay repressed. And the memory, in perfect clarity, continued...

"Qualar....May the Force be with you." He heard the older one say, as Joe struggled to peek his head over the shoulder of the younger one, peering up just enough to catch a glimpse at his mother....tears streaming down her face and one hand up, covering her mouth, the other attempting a quick wave towards him. His free hand, instead of struggling, offered a weak attempt at a wave back. He saw the three other Jedi turn towards the door, their bright colored lights back in their hands....one green, one blue, one yellow. "They're coming through!" One of them said.

Then Joe saw bit of brown cloth as he was shoved in the duct with the teen....it was a tight fight, no doubt. Joe clawed at the opening, not wanting to go through. The teen, Qualar, tugged him inside and closed the grate behind them, shuffling down the horizontal path. A few paces down he heard, and felt, an explosion, a blast of heat coming down even the ventilation shaft. He heard gunfire, and the higher-pitched sounds of what must of been the lights, which he knew as a man to be lightsabers. But the sounds of the lights, one by one, winked out, with the sounds of the blasters only increasing. At the last bit, to terrorize him at his own death, was the body of his mother falling in front of the gate. He saw her face....mouth open, staring at the sky. A white boot, all he could see, nudged the body. The muzzle of a blaster carbine lowered, sending a final red lance of energy at his mother's face, leaving fragments of flesh and bone. And this, too much for a the fragile mind of a child, overcame his ability to comprehend, and he plunged into darkness.

A thud caused him to awaken. He hit the ground....hard. There was something on him, which he tried to push off....and saw what it was. The body of Qualar laid half on him, the center of his back smoldering. Which meant.....Terror took him again, as those azure orbs looked up....and into the white face mask of a clone trooper, with blue markings on the white armor, its black eyes expressing nothing. The grill for its mouthpiece giving it the look of a painted skull. "What about this one?" A clone voice asked.

There were two more behind him, both stepping forward, the white boots clanging softly upon the metal deckplates. "Its not dressed like a Jedi. Check him. It could be a trick." Another clone voice answered. The closest one reached down, and with a black gloved hand wrapped itself around Joe's throat, yanking him from under Qualar's body and raising him to eye level with all three of the clones. It placed its blaster carbine muzzle right in Joe's chest, which was still warm from discharging. Joe didn't even bother a struggle....both hands grasping the wrist of the hand on his neck, delirious....half from lack of air, half from pure and unbridled terror. One of the other clones stepped forward and put something in front of Joe's eye, which shone bright and red before beeping. "No, its not one of them. Leave him. The Chancellor wants only the Jedi to be expunged for their treachery."

"That didn't stop us before." Another clone voice responded....they were all the same. The glove hand lowered him and let him go, Joe falling with a thud on the ground, along with a whimper. And with that, the three clones turned and strode off....and left Joe to whimper and cry to himself.

After what could have been hours, a hand touched him...though slightly clammy. The child, destroyed emotionally, did what any child would do, and wrapped around the leg of the humanoid, uncaring of who or what it was. There was a bubbling sound, and he was picked up....and there, held against the chest of some other humanoid creature, mindlessly nuzzling into the warm cloth as he stared off into space.....those orbs of his closed....

...And re-opened. Instead now, he saw the top of a tent. The tent he was in. And torchlight....and grim faces of people looking down at him. Well, more importantly, his chest....which hurt. A lot. Grunting slightly, he raised his head....and saw his own internal organs. He'd been cut open....and aparently his chest had been broken open....and now, he looked down at his own left lung, horribly deflated, and his other, which was still somewhat ok. Blood covered everything, the table, the tent, the arms of what obviously were Magisters. Or Medics. Or Healers. Maybe all of them. He actually saw his own heart, wrapped in its tight wad of sinew, beating for his life. "Hmm." He grunted, and lowered his head back down. He must of been in the Magister's tent. For surgery. On him. Probably trying to sew up. Probably going to fail.

He heard Martin, the man who tried to save him on the battlefield, begin screaming at the top of his lungs. "I TOLD YOU THAT HE HAD THE CONSTITUTION OF A ROCK! GIVE HIM MORE! NOW! BEFORE I F*CKING FILET YOU ALL RIGHT HERE!" There was the sound of a blade unseathing somewhere off, and almost immediately, Joe felt a light stinging pain in his neck. The world un-focused as the drug took affect....and swirled into another round of induced repressed memories.

(Whew. Sorry. Its long.) (I had to call my mother after this....maybe I've got some pent up emotion there. I cried. )

MastrStVrain

Date: 2006-04-16 21:40 EST
(And continued.....)

His life continued to flitter by him as subconsciously he fought for life.

They were just pictures now....the events concerning the next few years of his life watched as if they belonged to someone else; they had no emotional attachment whatsoever. He was barely alive, even as a child.

As it turned out, the hand that had picked him up and carried him away belonged to one named Shalakee, who was a female from the world Mon Calamari, a not-so Outer Rim world. Shalakee and her husband, Rackat both looked like humans crossed with catfish, whiskers and all. Shalakee was smaller, with brownish splotches on her dark reddish, clammy skin, while Rackat was brighter, with a red-orange set of scales with orange patches. Both had been traders....and quite unable to produce children. Such was the desire of Shalakee, she took the small human child for her own, and husband, wife, and child settled back on the world of Mon Calamari.

As the name suggested, Mon Calamari is an acquatic world, with 90% of its surface covered in water. Two species co-inhabited the world, having evolved together, oddly enough. The first, the Calamari, were the more accepted by galactic society: They were stunning space-ship builders and technicians. The second species, the Quarren, were just the opposite. Xenophobic, they were happier to live in the submarine-like colonies deep below the surface than the floating ports the Calamari preferred, like the planet of Manaan. But adventurous Quarren often lived in the floating cities, as trade was always better with the outside galaxy.

If the Calamari were human mixed with catfish, the Quarren were humans mixed with squid, with even small tenticles about its head, and a beak. Even with little suction-cups on their fingers. And they hated humans. Even little ones.

So Joseph, the man, watched his life unfold....going to school, learning both languages (Calamarian and Quarren), and living the life of the lone human boy surrounded by alien species. Was he picked on' Definately. Every day. But Joe, the child, wasn't responsive to it....ever since his mother had died he'd been a zombie....like a child merely going through the motions of life because he had no other alternative. He'd been just a shell. The two that cared for him, fed him, clothed him, and loved him as their own son were just bodies....they meant nothing to him. His new parents just thought human children were unaffectionate....the Calamari didn't understand humans at all.

Joseph, the man, hadn't dwelled on these times of his life. Ever. He could barely remember them. I can't believe I fell to such a state....

But like much of his life, events shaped who he was. And who he was going to be. In three days, Joe would turn twelve.

It was another day, and Joe walked from school, which was well into the lower decks of the floating station they all lived on. His backpack hung loosely from both shoulders, which were low and bent over slightly. His feet shuffled upon the slightly-damp plating. Everything had to be wet, as the both species required humid environments to survive. Those once bright-blue eyes were merely a dull steel color, aimed just a little higher than his deck shoes as they moved. His classmates thought him retarded. He had zero friends, and didn't say a word all day, instead, sometimes, sucking on his thumb. The Calamari in his class, the nicer ones, just avoided him. The Quarren, xenophobic in the first place, were more active in their dislike. They clicked their beaks at him as he passed, which to them, was a rude gesture. But the bigger ones didn't stop with just that.

A push from the side, which he never saw coming, sent him sprawling down a less used passageway, just outside the school quarters. Backpack went flying. Joe slowly moved to get to his feet, as if he'd tripped himself. He almost got there before a suction-cupped hand caught him right on the cheek, sending him, once more, onto the deck. Those dull gray orbs looked up....gazing through three adolescent Quarren, several years older than him. Joe's eyes didn't focus on anything; they just looked in the direction of things. Seeing, but not seeing. The Quarren clicked their beaks at him, and moved around him slowly, the biggest staying directly in front of him. Joe, again, slowly moved to get back to his feet.

human. ] The one in front of him spoke, in Quarren. Which he understood. Languages came so easily to him. Even if he barely applied them. The two on either side of him clicked in amusement. Joe didn't have any money. Not today. Not anyday. The three knew that, as they attempted to extort money from him three times a week. Joe didn't respond. Instead, those orbs lowered and he moved to walk home once more....but was intercepted by Quarren #2, who pushed him back....and so Joe merely stood there.

After a long, several moment uncomfortable silence, the Quarren spoke rapid-fire to each other....and with their beaks opening, they huffed....a Quarren version of a laugh. They all moved in, pushing Joe against one of the walls, which, like the deck, was convered in condensation. A slimy fist caught him in the ribs, doubling him over as the air left him. An equally slimy set of fingers caugt him by the neck, and lifted him off his feet, those deck shoes limp. Suction cups stuck to the flesh of his neck, and other sets of hands pushed his wrists back against the wall, pinning his upper body.

The largest Quarren, #1, moved face to face, its beak moving slowly as it hissed at him. the face loomed closer,

This close to another beating, Joe didn't even struggle. He never did. He hadn't fought the first time, or any other time....those gray orbs still gazed through the one in front of him....almost as if Joe's lack of air was due to some mystical Force, instead of the Quarren.

But this time was different. Deep, down inside Joe, something awoke. And it spoke to him, whispering unintelligble words. But words he, nevertheless, understood. Whatever it was, deep inside his mind, it gave him his first taste of emotion in nearly 8 years. Anger.

Those gray orbs, which had been staring off, suddenly snapped into a focus on Quarren #1. Those small nostrils flared, lips pursed together before raising in a snarl. The little body of his, pressed against the wall, suddenly went rigid....arms trying to swing, but held, just barely, by the arms of the Quarren #1's friends. Quarren #2 and #3 looked at each other nervously, before clicking their beaks in amusement. said #2. replied #3.

#1, with one hand still free, took the opportunity for another swipe with a cupped hand, catching Joe across the face and leaving marks where the suction cups tried to grip his skin.

And the thing that stirred inside of him gave him that second emotion. Hate, which permeated him through and through....or so he thought. With Anger, and its brother Hate, came something else. Something vast, and powerful....and for a brief moment, those gray orbs brightened, sharpened, and saw the world in a clarity that few would ever see.

The world slowed down, and colors faded....he looked down at his legs, still dangling uselessly, and watched as an ghostly image of his lower half went through motions of something. Nice and slowly. So Joe would understand. One leg curled upward, deck shoe planting against the wall. The other, with the first leg supporting this action, lashed out, the knee striking the lower chest of Quarren #1, the exact spot glowing, even as the ghostly image repeated itself. On the third showing, he did as the motion portrayed....with a cry of rage, throwing the first blow he'd ever at another living thing.

Left foot planting on the wall, it gave him support to drive his right knee into the Quarren's abdomen, with a cracking sound. Amphibious creatures, mostly supported with time in water, apparently had a weak endoskeleton. #1 buckled and dropped, grasping the spot it was struck. He felt the ghostly image of his head move, and, trustingly, moved with it, just as one of the sucker-tipped hands of #2 swung through the air, just barely grazing him. Which, unfortunately for #2, loosened its grip on Joe's wrist. He could feel what he ghostly image of himself was doing....how it was applying pressure, supporting itself, and moving to escape both grasps. And Joe did it....just barely behind the instructional 'movie'. And then he was on his feet again. With agility and strength beyond him, he followed the easy-to-use instructions....when he was too slow, and was struck, the blows didn't even phase him. And when he struck, he could feel their pain....watch it in their faces....and he loved it. In the flurry of blows from him, he knew he was invincible....powered by some Force beyond him. And anger was the key....it had to be.

Standing above the bodies of the groaning underneath him, he smirked, and collected his backpack. He made it to the main passageway before whatever Force had been powering him left him...and he stumbled, his body drained of the effort it had just put forth. He gasped for air, bent over against the cool passageway bulkhead, and let the condensation run down his face, eyes closed. Without the anger and hate to tap into....he nearly collapsed completely.

When finally he stood once more, those eyes opened....with a soft blue hue to their color. Joe blinked....as if he saw the world for the first time....and looked about at everything. His senses were overloading....the smell of damp metal, amphibian bodies, machinery....the sting of his skin where sucker-tips had caught his skin, pain in his ribs from one of the first blows, the cool dampness of the condensation-covered wall against his hand....the scale colors of both Calamari and Quarren who stood looking at him, the white colors of the passageway and the sparkles of reflected light where the water droplets ran down the bulkheads....the taste of blood in his own mouth, and his own sweat....the hum of electricity in the station, the whispers of both species peering at him.

Those azures of his spotted a classmate, a Calamarian, who stood a few feet away, with deep brown eyes that looked upon him. Though seemingly expressionless to outsiders, the displays of Calamari emotion were apparent to one who knew the signs; in skin tone, catfish-whisper position, and clammy sheen on their scales. Which, in this case, Joe recognized as pity.

Instead, Joe shot a quick, childish smile at her. "Hi." He said, somewhat breathlessly. And with that, shoulders a little straighter, he started his walk home....finally having broken out of the emotional shell that he'd put himself into.

Reaching home, he tossed off his backpack and went to Shalakee....the boy wrapping his arms around the Calamari female....for the first time with any meaning. With a little bit of a smile as he looked up at the slightly bewildered female, who hugged him back, he spoke, "Hi, Mom." He went over to Rackat, who lay in the large pool of water which filled more than half of their living spaces, and waved at the red-orange fish-man. "Hi, Dad." For the first time, he looked at his family; no longer where they just strangers that he was forced to live with.

And deep inside of his mind, the thing laid dormant....waiting for the key of Anger and Hate to unlock whatever it was that had powered him just a few moments ago.

And thus, Joe re-awoke....and spent the next few years grasping at the remnants of his childhood before they slipped through his fingers....and was forced to mature abruptly. Learning how to interact with his family, his classmates, and others. He made friends. He learned how to play. Getting into trouble for innocent mischief. Things that any child would have years to induldge upon, and master....Joe went through them in a naught but a few years.

And he matured....he had his first airspeeder lessons, and mastered their use before any of his other classmates. His first job, working for a store clerk....the joy of his first paycheck. The pride of ownership as he purchased a used Incom T-16.

And his favorite....his first kiss, and first love. But not to a Calamari. Nor a Quarren. A family of Selonians had moved onto their station, with a cute daughter his age....which he'd befriended and dated. Selonians were a much more elegant version of Wookiees. Much shorter, and slender....they moved with grace, instead of the bumbling the Wookiees often did as they were ordered about by their Imperial masters. Their skin was covered in a short, shiny, well kept coat of dark brown fur. He remembered their more private moments, him and the daughter fondly....their innocent love....the softness of her fur to snuggle against ( He'd always be partial to humaniods with fur, like Selonians or Bothans for the rest of his life)....the sweet taste of her lips...

........and it was lips he'd been thinking about when a pair pressed against his, mouth parted. His lungs burned for air but delirious, he started to push back against the lips before a blast of warm, humid air blew through those lips and filled his chest. And Joseph, instead of slipping his tongue inside the mouth that was pressed against his, as he wanted to, he coughed, sucking air instead of sucking face. The mouth pulled away.

Joe's eyes slowly opened...god, his lungs hurt. Both of them. And so did his chest....all over. Pain filled him, and nearly overloaded him. But he overcame. And with a grimace....peered up with those soft blue orbs at the two faces that hovered over him. One was definately one of the magisters/medic/healers that had been working on him before....but the closer face belonged to Martin, who grinned triumphantly before scowling down at him. "If you forget to f*cking breathe again, sir, I'm going to beat you to death with your god-damn sh*tty pudding." He said, holding up a cup of what looked like chunky hospital pudding.

Joe grunted, and with chest still afire with pain, responded, his voice just a little above a mumble. "I'd still kick your f*cking ass...," a slow draw of breath, "....you little sh*t-brick. You're just........pissed off I didn't give you any f*cking tongue this time..."

Martin gave a quick kissy face, "That's alright, sir....I got plenty from your momma while you were sleeping." The image of Martin kissing Shalakee, with her big slimy whiskers, almost made him die laughing. Seriously, as he ended up with a fit of coughing.

The healer spoke up next, in the local Kalean accent "Mr. StVrain....it has been nearly two weeks since your wound....and I'm not sure how, but you still live. No infection. No blood transfusions." The man's lips pursed, and he continued, eyeing Joe suspiciously. "When I replaced your dressings two days ago....your chest wound had scabbed over. A five inch puncture wound. I've never seen anything like that. And yesterday...." The medic's hands began to move in an agitated manner, "....the scabs had fallen off! There's only scar tissue! If you did not have lapses in breathing, I would of sent you back to your camp! What is that absurdity?"

Joe just smiled a little bit, and shrugged. "I'm an old war dog, doc.........dyin's just one of those.........new tricks." His gaze moved to Martin, sitting up slightly in his bed, inside the makeshift field hospital. "Hey, f*cker, I'm pretty sure........I slept right past beer-o'clock."

Martin guffawed, glanced to the slowly ticking clock and pointed. "Beer-thirty's comin' up in a few minutes, though, sir. I might be able to 'liberate' a few." With a snicker, he turned and slipped out.

Joe looked to the medic, and waved his hand dismissively. "I wouldn't worry about it, doc..........there's guys around here that need your.......your attention now. Go give'm a hand."

With the doc left, those orbs watched the wounded writhe on their cots....some even while they slept. A few had bloodied stumps instead of full appendages....one had his sheet over his head. He shook his head slowly....good men always died for causes that didn't always seem right. Or fair. Those grays looked up at the cloth ceiling....mentally praying to an imaginary Soldier god, whose job was to protect those who fought and died....that comforted those who lay dying on the battlefield or in some damn field hospital....who was supposed to comfort the loved ones, back home....A wife, a child....a mother, a father. God damn f*cking wars....

And with the beer having arrived, he began to nurse himself back to health....because in the end, the war still had to be fought. And it was a war he was going to win....even if he'd have to do it himself.

( Erm....this might be longer than I thought. Comments and suggestions are more than welcome. )