Topic: Anger

Taneth

Date: 2006-11-13 13:49 EST
"The passions seldom give good advice but to the interested and mercenary. Resentment generally suggests bad measures. Second thoughts and good nature will rarely, very rarely, approve the first hints of anger."

— Horace Walpole

Anger"hatred'sorrow'desolation; anything and everything that surrounded the negative emotions of a person were not feelings she was supposed to have. She was not a being meant for negativity, but rather for the light of the sun and not the dark of the night. The night is where Taneth found herself wandering, aimless and blind to anything around her.

As each step was taken she simply was letting her energy leave her, and it did in sparkles trailing down her arms and hands and to the ground. Her own special energy, the bright happiness that resided in her was now a pit of blackness. She did not hide this feeling from the world for she would not know how to cover what she truly felt nor did she understand how to control it.

Each moment replayed in her mind and the black pit in her stomach grew bigger. Taneth remembered Tara's words about James, about Taneth, and just the never ending tirade. She remembered feeling the black pit and she let it fester and grow until she could not stop herself and slammed her fists into the bar and released just a smidgen of that dark energy that had come to reside in her body. Of course, whatever objects on the bar blew up for those were things that had no place for such energy to go. Even worse was the kitchen; what a horrid mess that was as Taneth had taken out her uncontrolled anger upon that part of the inn then left. Lucky for her everything fixed itself.

"I hate you. You were great, but now I hate you.? Those were the words she left with Tara. Taneth felt it to be true as she still had anger for the little hellion.

As she continued to walk and wander, her nails dug into her palms. Her body was trying to reject the negative and build upon what was good. In many ways, this was her punishment for acting out in anger. Self infliction of a pain she did not feel but would suffer the wounds from. It would grow worse as she continued on in this blind state of anger, but perhaps this is where she was meant to be. No one had to suffer the happy, bouncy blonde and she could brood, sulk, and insult just like many of the other people of RhyDin. She would be normal in a world of abnormal.

Taneth

Date: 2006-11-13 14:34 EST
Jucath " home world of Taneth

This is a snippet of a scene in another realm but at the same point when the former bouncy blonde was losing herself in anger.

"I feel her, my Lord. She is in despair," the seer turned to face the leader seated at the table. "Oh yes, it is her."

At the woman's words, Lord Denac waved his hand at his gathering of priests. "Make sure the girls are ready for the ceremony. I do not want any setbacks."

The priests bowed and walked from the dining hall of Lord Denac, current ruler of Jucath. Denac, then, motioned for the seer to continue as he sat back in his chair. He is angry and his mouth is a tight, firm line.

"Do you know where she is?"

"No, my Lord, but given time I will find her. She cannot remain hidden for long."

"And this despair" Will she recover?"

"She has her family's blood, and she is the purest of her kind. She will recover, but at what cost' This land she is in will eventually destroy her for there is too much power and feelings and not enough control. Of that, you can be certain."

The Lord Denac pushed from his chair, which sent it crashing to the floor. "Then continue your efforts to find her. She needs to be returned here to me and fulfill her purpose."

"It will be done; blood to blood, my Lord."

Taneth

Date: 2006-11-14 00:31 EST
A general recounting of events that led Taneth back to the inn and into the warm embrace of her dear friend Kitty.

The night had no moon for Taneth it seemed as she continued to wander the streets of RhyDin until the sun dawned. The blonde had not a care of her own well being as she stumbled and tripped over rocks on the ground. Eventually, she finally fell upon her own doorstep. Dull eyes looked up at the little cottage and the dirt covered woman pushed herself up into a standing position. She swayed and stumbled into the door; fumbling around she managed to unlock it and find her way inside.

Taneth did not fall into the bed, which would have solved all her problems, but rather to her closet. She had enough presence of mind to pull a cloak out and wrap herself in it and cover up the scratches and scrapes on her arms. Her poor hands were another matter as she did not think of the gloves to cover up the scratches in the soft flesh of her skin. Once she was wrapped up, Taneth padded quietly out of her cottage and to the Red Dragon Inn.

Her mind again replayed over the events that led her anger, but she could hardly believe that she remembered. It was as if a door opened into a world of emotion that she did not know existed. She did not sleep, therefore she did not forget. Taneth paused at the backdoor of the inn and stared. She wanted to topple into the door and close her eyes, the pull of sleep was that strong, but she could not and would not until she was certain the mess had been taken care of.

Fingers and scratched palms pressed to the backdoor of the kitchen and she pulled it open with a breath. It never seemed this difficult before, but then she was not empty of energy before either. She slipped inside without much noise and looked around; it was all clean and in prime condition once again.

After the kitchen, she made her way out to the common room and simply stood there. What was she to do now" She could not remember for the life of her and she did not know how to behave. She felt a new emotion'shame. Finally, she moved and settled on a barstool. No one received a greeting, well, until Traeline had bounced over and hugged her. Taneth could not hug this girl, no, that would require more energy to expend and it would require love; she had no love yet'she was empty inside. Soon enough, Traeline left and Kitty came just as Taneth had laid herself on the couch and stared at the flames threatening their way out to consume her.

Kitty soon scooped up and snuggled Taneth, but she could not and would not respond to it. Her insides cried out to love Kitty, her dearest friend, but her body refused. She was still"empty. Eventually, Ewan made his way and left then Kitty offered the unimaginable: energy. She offered it as freely as Taneth usually did, and it was accepted.

At first, Taneth tried to give whatever she could to Kitty, but it only reversed on her and soon Taneth was receiving what extra energy Kitty had to spare. This, by no means, made her completely better but it gave her enough to remember friends and love once again. The blonde regained a bit more color and less of a dull, and she could talk and move more without feeling like she was going to faint. Kitty even put salve on her palms to heal the scratch marks left. She loved Kitty and told her that as she snuggled.

The talk came next and Taneth said she was now evil for her anger and the expression of it. A couple other people, Lucien and Alysia, became involved in the discussion. It is difficult for others to understand what someone has been taught in their young life. Taneth mentioned the priests to Lucien. Eventually, it all faded away when Taneth snuggled back against Kitty and everyone else left for the bar.

By the end of the night, Kitty took Taneth home with her to see James and to rest. Yes, rest is what would make it all better as it always did. She did not leave Kitty's home that night. No, she found a bed and slept, somehow the moon chose not to reject her this night as her skin began to shimmer and whatever residual anger was left began to simply be drawn from her. She would still have the marks from the previous night, but when she finally does awaken there would be very little, if any, memory left of what had led Taneth to finally lose her temper; and the bouncy blonde would return once again fresh and new.

Taneth

Date: 2006-11-14 01:02 EST
Thoughts of a dreaming Taneth while she stayed with Kitty.

I had not known such feelings before. Were they real" Were they really me" What were they' I know the words for them, but I do not know them. I am lost and confused in this world, Moon.

The moon has no answers for me. It has even rejected me the night before. Why, Moon' Were you also angry for my anger and wickedness" I know that the expression of anger is evil. I remember the teachings of the priests from so many years ago.

To express and feel anger is to be wicked. It taints the blood of my people and turns it black. It is destructive and only used to defeat that which needs defeating. I was not to defeat any person in this realm no matter their hatred for me.

Hatred was a new emotion for me, Moon. I have never felt it before and do not wish to feel it again. I did not like the sense of being alone and of feeling the burning. It hurt so much and I wanted to make something else hurt. I wanted for it to feel pain as I had felt pain. That is also wicked of me and I bore your punishment. I did not sleep. I did not forget.

My friends, they did not understand. I do not understand, Moon. They think me to be strange and stupid, perhaps, but I am not. All people and beings can be good. They do not have to suffer through the trials of wickedness. I believe in the good of everyone. It exists in this realm, but I wonder'did my world have such wickedness too' I do not remember seeing such, Moon.

I remember the village and I remember the temple, but I do not remember anything else. Did people suffer as some have suffered within this realm' Did fighting and pain live there" None have ever spoken of it, but perhaps"was it hidden" There are so many questions now, but I feel the light returning and blinding me.

It is very bright and warm like the sun and sweet as the fruit I love so much. It is growing, I can feel it consuming me, and I am trying to remember why it went away. What happened, Moon' Where am I" Why does it seem like it has been so long since I have been in the loving and warming embrace of the sun" Yes, I shall not dream any more, Moon. I will sleep and simply bask in the light.