Phil Conners walked down a street not too far from his house. He was on his way to lose yet another evening at his favorite pub. As he turned a corner a pigeon crossed his path. The bird stood looking up at Phil, or more specifically the pretzel Phil was carrying. "Damn birds," muttered Phil. The middle aged man looked at the bird. "You want this? Huh' Take it!" he said as he dropped the pretzel to the ground. The pigeon shot one look at Phil, then moved in on the discarded food. Cooing triumphantly the bird stood perched atop it's prize. With a bark of laughter, Phil kicked out at the bird. The startled pigeon was knocked back by the blow. Flapping it's wings madly, he started to take to the air. Then the foolish bird decided it wasn't ready to give up it's meal quite yet. Landing on top of the pretzel, the pigeon tried to carry it away with him. The pretzel, however, weighed more than the bird, and the pigeon wasn't able to get off the ground. Phil smiled to himself as he, once again, kicked the pitiful creature. In a flurry of feathers , the disoriented bird rose up. Determined to get it's revenge, the pigeon crapped on the fallen pretzel, then flew off, lopsided, into the night. "About time you bloody birds learned a proper fear of man," Phil said, as he knelt down. The birds droppings oozed down the side, as he picked up the pretzel. Smiling to himself, he continued on his way. Phil was in a good mood tonight.