Topic: Freaky 'Effin Friday (Mature Content)

Corlanthis Wystansayr

Date: 2009-04-17 04:58 EST
To say that it had been a trying day was something of an understatement. Between spending the night at a certain infamous club and then later locking lips with a certain infamous slaver who was NOT the owner of said club, Sami needed a break from her so called life. For most of the day she had been skating all over town and now she finally needed a break. It wasn't until she was in the market square that she also realized that some food might be a good idea. So, she followed her tastebuds straight to the familiar omelette shop owned by Corlanthis Wystansayr.

Cor was in. It was surprising how much time he spent there. But then most people would actually be surprised at how much work it was to run your own business. While Cor didn't keep long hours, he did have to keep certain things in order and that meant the occasional evening at the shop, if nothing else was going on and it just so happened Sami was in luck. He was seated at one of his tables, though the shades to the windows were drawn. And when the bell sounded her arrival, he blinked up, peering curiously at the Derby Dame.

"Evenin' Sami, what brings you my way?"

"Food, broheame." It was rare that Sami acknowledged the English language in its proper forms. In truth, she hated making complete sentences let alone using words that existed before they exited her mouth. Blue suede skates had been traded for strappy sandals and she had recently showered after her skating spree. The front tufts of feathery black hair were pulled up in a fashionable pouf to keep her forehead clear. Bono shades were taken off and tossed on the table as she went to pull up a chair.

"It just so happens that I had a cravin' for your eggs." There was a suggestive brow waggle from the girl.

Cor was dressed the part of the respectable business man, pen in one hand and a pair of black-rimmed reading glasses perched precariously on his nose. Given his slight stature, he probably resembled something of a clerk. Appearances could be deciving. He grinned and leered her upa nd down.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd think you just came on to me. We can discuss that after you've eaten if you're hungry, though." He gestured back at the ingredients counter with a thumb, and then suddenly perked up as an idea occured to him.

"And you know what, if you aren't feeling too picky, I just got some new herbs in early today while I was shoping. You could help me try them out and see if they're worth keeping around for the omelettes?"

"Dude, I'm always coming onto you. Have you seen your ass?"

Skinny limbs were gesturing with the usual zest and energy the Derby Dame exuded on a daily basis. Glamoured peepers peered at the counter in the distance and her boney shoulders rose and fell in a shrug. Sami crossed her legs as she relaxed. "As it happens, I actually qualified to be a guinea pig on my career placement test in college. Unfortunately, with the economy the way it is, well, those jobs are the first to go."

An exaggerated eyeroll here. "Lay it on me, egg-man."

"I have seen your ass!" Cor nodded at it appreciatively. "Please allow me to compliment you on it. And is that actually a career?"

Cor's green eyes were wide and believing as he pushed out of his chair and wandered slowly behind the break in the counter. He was *pretty* sure she was joking, but he did have something of a gullible streak. When you lived in the city were the impossible happened on a daily basis, it was hard to say what would be true and what wouldn't, and best just to assume it was.

"I don't think it actually is, no. Although she might have normally strung him along with this train of thought, Sami was feeling a bit less assholish today than she typically did. Granted, this sense of leniency did NOT stop her from oogling his derriere as he walked towards the counter. "Actually, I'm an art major. Get my diploma in like a month if you can believe it. And I never failed a class."

Nor should it have. After all, oogling him wasn't assholish, it was simply being polite! He glanced back over his shoulder, catching her in mid-oogle and tossing her a grin and a wink. And okay, maybe he shook his junk for extra effect too. At least until he was hidden by the counter. He was continuing to listen as he head into the back pantry, fishing around for a package wrapped in brown packing paper and tied closed with a bit if rough twine. He brought it back to the small bit of flat countertop and quickly had the twine cut, unwrapping the brown paper. As he did, the conversation continued.

"Oh yeah' Are you specializing in any kind of art or is this just a generalized kind of degree?" Curiousity and interest tinted his words. "I've no degrees myself, though I've always pondered taking classes here. Never really had anything like the schools here back where I come from."

There was a crooked grin and a snort of amusement with his bum-shaking antics. "Costuming, actually." True blues were occupied with folding a napkin into some nifty kinda shape. Sami wasn't really a wiz at origami, but that had never stopped her from trying. Dangling earrings of polished silver swayed and tapped against her neck as she tried to sit upright a bit more to better keep an eye on Coreo if he happened to wander back into view at any point in time.

"The schools around here aren't great, but they don't suck too bad either. And its cheap as hell to go here."

"Costuming" That's cool. I've got a few costumes stored away myself." Cor wasn't really thinking of plays or acting when he said that, though. And now, with the paper fully unwrapped a small box was left uncovered that had runes covering the various sides. This was not the peculiar part. The peculiar part was that they were glowing. All in all, not what you'd expect to find from your local spice merchant. But Cor couldn't read the runes, and so took it on faith that there wasn't anything wrong with them. He undid the simple lock on the front and lifted the lid. Immediately a pungent and slightly sweet smell filled the room.

"The person I bought these from said they'd allow me to see things from a new perspective. Personally, he was rather old, bald, and could barely see. I'm not sure he even knew he was talking to me."

" ....was he standing in a vat of radioactive goo?" The scent wasn't entirely off-putting and she was definitely going to try them regardless because at this point it was like a challenge. Sami was one of those people who found a cannister full of moldy year-old clam chowder and went around trying to wave it in anyone's face for a 'sniff'. Currently she was actually pulling a leg up beneath her in the chair with palms flat against the tabletop to give her better height.

"You know, it doesn't matter. Old people know all kinds of shit that we don't, right?"

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"Not that I could see no." But Cor twisted his head aside and lifted a leg to glance at the bottom of a foot incase he'd tracked anything back to the shop. "I suppose they do. Mostly what the seem to know is that they do more more than us young people. Don't always seem willing to part with that knowledge though."

A bit of a grumpy face before he closed the lid and set the box aside, moving back now into the pantry to pull some of the day's left-over batter from the fridge. Then a cast-iron skillet was put to oven out in the main room and let it begin to heat up as he turned back to Sami, leaning against the counter. "So, aside from that." A nod to the herbs. "Anything else you prefer in your omelettes?"

Feeling a bit restless when left to her lonesome there at the table, Sami rose and began meandering over towards the counter. The bizarre scent of the herbs had her curious and the empty shop made her more relaxed. "Something containing meat, peppers, tomatoes, and some cheese. I love mozzerella. It's probably the greatest thing since havarti."

The skinny misfit leaned against the front counter and let her elbows dig in as she 'bellied up' to the proverbial bar. "Dude, if this crap kills me I am allergic to penecillin and I have a DNR clause. I dun' want to limp away from this." Eyeing the mysterious box with raised brows. "Go big or go home." "You got a whiff of it same as I did. I can't imagine anything that smells that strong indulges in half-measures." He chuckled and put a healthy portion of batter into the now-heated skillet and he set about readying the other ingredients. Diced peppers, diced tomatoes, diced ham. And lots and lots of shredded mozzarella cheese. All that was set aside for later, then he opened up the box and set to dicing up the leaves contained therein. Again, the sweet smell filled the lobby of O.O.

"That really does have some kick to it. I wonder what it tastes like." Conversationally as Cor lifted up a smidged of diced leaf and dropped it onto the tip of his tongue. He savored it, suckling before swallowing it down, then was silent for a few moments before nodding. "Yeap, it tastes about how you'd expect it to. Almost felt my vision go double. Wanna try?"

"Are you serious"" A grimace washed over her face as the skinny minnie leered at the ingredients. A sane person would have said 'Hellz to the No' at this point. Thankfully she was apparently schizophrenic and thoroughly not-sane. "Of course I want to try it. It looks terrifying." With that she lunged forward with a palm open and held heavenwards to get a sample of the creepy-looking and crappy-smelling herbs that she was about to ingest.

He tried to find a reasonably small piece, placing it into her hand. One almost expected shafts of light and a choir singing in an ominous and dead language. But no. Mostly she just now had a tiny bit of herb in her hand. And Cor left her too it while he went back to the cooking omelette. He added the ingredients, including the diced bit of her and folded the whole thing over. Letting it cook for a bit longer before sending it flying into the air with a flick of his wrist to land on the other side, browning there now.

The seemingly harmless little half-leave was set atop the center of her tongue. Flavors were already leaking out of it even before she considered chomping down or swallowing. Wincing all the while she rolled the herb around in her mouth before there was an over-exaggerated gulp. Sami looked like someone had jush punched her in the kidney or something. "Man, that crap is foul. It's like someone just froze my tongue and then set it on fire with a diesel fuel spritzer. This is gonna be the most B A omelette ever."

With that she was all pumped and ready for her meal. Cor's mouth was half-open, as though he'd been about to say, "Man, wasn't that freaking great"!" He did not, however. Instead, after her opinion on the herb, he clopped his mouth shut with an audible, well, clop and just grinned.

"Yeah, should be something for the record books, to be sure." As everything cooked, the nearly overpowering scent of the herb mixed in well with the other ingredients, tempering it somewhat so that the overall aroma was sweet, but not too much so. And then Cor was flipping the finished omelette onto a plate where it cut down the middle into halves. He reached under the counter for two empty glasses. "Anything to drink" Or should we attempt this and get it over with before our taste buds rebel and declare war on us?" He grinned.

"Nah, man....I think this is gonna have to be a pretty straight forward sneak-attack. Let's destroy this mofo before it has the chance to knife us in the gullet." Apparently Sami was channeling her inner gansta' today. Actually she was reading a book on shiv-making this morning but she opted to leave that out of their current small talk. Fork in hand, she reached settled on a barstool and cut off a piece of the omelette. " I hope this gives me crazy-wild stamina in bed. That and bigger boobs.

"Seconded. But..uh, well, not that I guess it matters but what?s a gullet?" Cor then cut off a small square with a fork and speared it, raising it into the air as a kind of "toast". "I hope it gives you those things, too. That'd bode well for the rest of the evening." He waggled his brows at her then stuffed the omelette into his mouth. Upshot of both brows now and he stopped to peer at the food. A few more bites were quickly cut off and stuffed into his mouth to follow. Evidence said he was enjoying it.

"It's like your stomach, I think." She had no idea. The toast went over and despite her previous bad-mouthing of the herbs, Sami found herself enjoying the omelette considerably. The first bite had been chewed thoroughly and pondered before she swallowed. The following bites were far less ceremonial and she was more than happy to keep up with his pace.

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"Holy crap! It's actually really good. If it does give me an insane sex-drive as well this is going to be the hottest food in RhyDin!"

"If it does, I think I'm going to be a rich man."A moment of pondering, then a slight shrug. "Well, a richer man." More bites were forked off and into his mouth to chew. Then he nodded at her, as she ate, adopting as close to a "scientific" tone as he could swing.

"So tell me, Samilee Burke. How does this omelette make you feel" Do you wish to engage in sexual congress now" Do you feel it is something you want to do, over. And over. And over again?" A grin around another mouthful.

"Well, Chef Wystansayr..." A succulent bit of cheesy goodness was swallowed and the tip of her tongue ran the line of her lips, a thoughtful expression on her face. "....truth be told, the exotic undertones of the protein-packed dish has me contemplating the hypnotic rhythm of a thrashing pelvis over an elongated period of time." Another bite was taken, chewed and swallowed. Blue eyes were darting to the side for a few seconds and then returned to the face of the Omelette Maker and Professional Bullshitter.

"In short, yes. It does happen to make me quite horny. What say you to washing down this delicious delicacy with some high-powered sack rolling, hmm?"

"I think you've read my mind. A grin and a rather pointed leer. Then he looked thoughtful for a moment and peered down at he remaining bits of omelette. Which he quickly finished off. "So, maybe these let you read minds?" Momentary pondering of that and then as was his wont, he immediately switched gears to a brand new subject.

"Wait a sec—Thrashing"! Thrashing" My dear, there are a great many things I do with my hips, but never have they "thrashed". I'll educate you on the differences when we're finished here."

The remaining two bites were combined as one and hastily swallowed. "Dude, we're done here. Finished. El finito." Wrists with limp hands were held up for the taking. "Lead me away to be educated because I am one eager student!!"

"Sure, just let me get the plate in the sink." Which it was after a moment's notice, then he was back to her, crossing to the business side of the establishment and taking her offered hands in his own and giving her a tug doowards. "And lead I shall. Though, we going back to my place or yours for this celebration of sex and pleasure?"

"You know....I know a couple people who might technically still have keys to my apartment and could possibly pop a cap in a brother's ass for pluggin' me full o' goodness so....let's do your apartment." With that explanation, which was too much information, her brows ticked upwards and the skinny minnie wore a winning grin. She had a belly full o' omelette and she was gonna score. All in all this was not a complete failure of a day.

"Someone's brother is going to give you something good tonight?" Confused blinking had him pausing him place for a moment at the door to O.O. Clearly someone wasn't up on his urban slang. His brow scrunched up slightly. "And why would they be given a hat for it??

Cor resumed motion, moving out of the door and urging her after before locking up and setting in place the various wards that protected the establishment. Then the pair was off towards his townhouse.

Samilee Burke

Date: 2009-04-17 11:41 EST
Do you ever have those nights where you wake up the next morning and wonder how much you dreamed and how much is real" For instance, at some point you remember seeing a dwarf on a chandelier" Well, there was no dwarf and she was pretty sure that Cor didn't have a chandelier at his place. Regardless, either that omelette really had boosted her sexual drive or she was just far hornier than she recalled before they started the 5 hour power-session at the chef's apartment. Beneath the twisted covers she stretched and was surprised to feel the footboard barring her way. This had to be one hellz a' short bed.

Cor's eyes cracked as Sami stirred next to him. Sleep addled and, lets face it, more than little worn out from the previous night's adventures, Cor was more than a little slow on certain uptakes. Such as the fact that something seemed to be jabbing into his hip. For a moment, he wondered if they'd brought a toy into bed with them and left it there. In the meantime, there was a growing sense of..wrongness. Of difference. Certain things were not as they should have been and in a million different ways it all tried to shout through the fog currently enveloping his mind. He tried to shut it all out and rolled over, getting comfortable under the hand Sami had thrown over his side while they slept. Huh, they'd seemed a lot smaller earlier.

While she wasn't typically a snuggler the hope of a little morning romp was always enough to make her wake up a bit and check the surroundings. So many men woke up with that extra little bit of effort jutting out into the world even after a night of insane physical exercise. Curling a bit against the covers she leaned in and let her palm cup his hip. It was surprisingly smooth and rounded. It just now occurred to Sami that Cor must use some kind of moisturizer. This wasn't entirely surprising since alot of men were doing this nowadays. What did cause the Derby Dame to pause was the hair she felt brushing up against her abdomen. Arm hair. Her arm hair" Sami looked down in immediate alarm. Had she become the wolfman overnight'

"OH HELLZ NO!!!" This was the first sign that something was wrong. And of course, that cry caused him to go from muggy tiredness into full alert mode! His eyes cracked back wide open and alert as he glanced around quickly, Sami wasn't where he remembered her being, infront of him. Hm, he must have rolled around, so he turned to face her.

"Huh' Is every thi-WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?" Cor was staring gawk-eyed at the sudden appearance of a man in bed with him. Slim but toned. Appeared to be taller than him and had rather unruly brown hair and piercing green eyes. Rather handsome and he was somewhat surprised to find himself getting more than a little turned on. It was only then that he realized his voice wasn't quite as deep as it should have been and just *what* exactly had given rise to the severe sense of wrongness of earlier. The covers were tossed up and off the bed as he glanced down, wild-eyed and frightened.

"Oh..oh my god. Where...WHERE DID IT GO??

Samilee Burke

Date: 2009-04-17 11:42 EST
The ruggedly handsome and dashing brown-haired man promptly rose and fell out of the bed with a large thud. Amazingly he was still sporting a bit of a chubby for some reason or another. And were those boobs" They were boobs! Nice boobs! Where was Cor" Who was that gi—-Oh my god she knew those eyes. "Me" What the hell are you doing there?" HOLY GOD I AM SCHIZOPHRENIC!! I have two bodies!!!"

Hands were openly groping her masculine self as the man-Sami rose from the floor and stared to look for a mirror. "Where's it' Where's the bathroom?" What the hell!"!"

Cor lifted his eyes up from his oh-so-smooth nethers with a herculean amount of will, one arm raising and point off to the master-bath that adjoined the bedroom. He stared at the smooth flesh of the arm that extended out. He was unable to stop what was coming out next. "Make sure you put the toilet seat down when you're done, you brute!" He giggled. GIGGLED. Not the giggle of someone amused, but rather the giggle of someone suffering from a state of nearly blind panic. At least until something else that was said caught his attention. He glanced straight down. Oh. Fancy that he had boobs now. Time to see what that was like.

Sami felt like she was walking in moon shoes. These feet were so big and strange-feeling. For a moment she considered this proposition: Put the toilet seat down" Holy Lord in Heaven Above!!! Previously blue eyes (apparently now a piercing green) were angled down at her wang. A glorious thing this appendage was. Although she really only wanted a mirror to start with now she had a whole new agenda in mind. The bathroom door was shut and she let out a scream.:: "Eeee!" It sounded like a guy gettin' his junk snipped by ye local rabbi. In the mirror she saw the guy she was having sex with a few hours ago. Then she saw the toilet. From outside there would be the sound of a stream then something like a fascinated, bassy laugh. It was the laugh of victory. She was peeing standing up!!! "What the hell is going on?" The water ran in the sink, she HAD put the toilet seat back down, and wet hands were soon opening the door as she moved out stark naked into the master bedroom.

It wasn't until the sound of running water alerted him(her") to her(his") own particular needs of that nature. He tried to stumble out of bed, but his balance was off. Not only was there weight above where there shouldn't have been, and less weight below where there *should* have been, there was an innate sense of always knowing where he was..where he was stepping. Such things were apparently tied to his body and hadn't followed him over. It was akin to trying to walk acrossing a steeplying pitching level, with him flailing this way and that, trying not to fall. Eventually though, he did make it into the bathroom, passing by the taller Sami in the process. Once he was posed before the toilet he stood and stared at it, brow furrowing in concentration. Clearly this was going to be harder than he thought.

"You've....uh?" A sideways glance to the bathroom. As sad as this already was, Sami had no interest in watching her (him) pee herself while trying to figure this one out. "You've gotta squat and sit. Just kinda let go and it'll totally just fall outta you."

This was too painful to watch. Sami headed towards the bed and reached for her own set of pink panties that were on the floor. It wasn't that they didn't "fit" per say....more that they were cutting into her in the wrong areas and some stuff was still hangin' free and loose. The panties were cast aside and instead she reached for a pair of boxers and took a seat on the bed. "This is all just some big acid trip, right' I mean, crap like this doesn't just happen.?

Samilee Burke

Date: 2009-04-17 11:44 EST
Eventually the noise in the bathroom echoed what?d come before. Except this time with a feminine voice calling with Cor's unique tone and inflection. "I don't like not being able to direct this!" And then he finished her deed and washed he he came wandering back out., still somewhat wobbly and awkward.

"In this city' Who the hell knows what caused it. Some kind of cursed totem or maybe a mage that's pissed cause he didn't get a late evening snack" I have no idea." He flumped on the edge of the bed, and turned over to face himself. "How do you walk like this" I constantly feel like I'm about to fall over. Oh, and nice boxers." Nodding appreciatively.

"Yeah' Thanks! They really frame the way your ass looks, yanno?" With that Sami craned around to peer at her glorious man-booty. "And if you think that's bad just wait until you put some heels on. It's true madness. That's why we spend so many years bein' cranky. Heels, dude....heels." That last bit was almost hissed. With that she meandered over to the edge of the bed and plopped down.

"You know, I ought to be pissed but part of me thinks this is kinda cool. I mean, it sucks, but it couldn't been waaay worse."

"It takes some getting used to, that's for certain." One finger was lifted up again to poke curiously at his newfound chest. "But I can't honestly say it's the worst thing I've ever had to deal with." One shoulder was lifted and then rolled in a slight shrug. This sent his assets to jiggling all over again.

"And lets be honest, there's a lot to be learned here, I think." He tilted his head..up to send peepers pointing his way. Well, there was nothing really new about that. Bit peculiar to have to do it to himself though.

Sami leered at Cor's chest. Bare breasts were a fascinating thing, really. Still, she was trying to keep a check on things. Before this whole thing started, actually for years now, she had been thinking of getting her twins pierced. Seeing them from this angle really sealed the deal for Sami. They would look so fabulous with some metal in them. The Derby Dame tried to focus for a moment. "Well, I figure this is prolly just a short-term thing. I mean, it'll prolly wear off in like 24 hours or something. We just need to ride it out is all." Another sideways glance to her nude former self and she felt something brushing up against her hand. For a moment it caught her by surprise and then she crossed her legs with a snort.

"Man, I hope you're right about that. Maybe it'll help too if we can figure out what caused it. Possibly find someone in the city who can use that to reverse the condition." Had he'd been thinking more clearly it would have occured to him that the source was likely the omelette. But thinking clearly was really the least likely outcome of the morning. Not just because the situation had him all discombobulated, but because thinking was..different right now. There were new sources of input, new things to consider. His newfound blue eyes trailed across the naked chest in front of him and he had to clear his throat and look away as certain urges pushed to the forefront of recognition, leaving him all too aware of how alien the noise sounded in his throat.

"Well" here's to a hellza" interesting weekend ahead of us."

((OOC Note: From 11:00Est Friday April 17 to 11:59PMEst Sunday April 19, Corlanthis Wystansayr will be played by the mun of Samilee Burke. Samilee Burke will be played by the mun of Corlanthis Wystansayr. Happy gaming!))