Topic: "I am not Running..I merely trying to survive.."

Iridal Algren Brae

Date: 2010-07-14 15:46 EST
Irda and Seraphan...Demon and Vampire...My history was a mesh of heart ache and loss...

Some say "Iridal, you are running...", I can only shake my head in disagreement for I am not running..no, never running....I am merely trying to survive.

I have spent far too much time wandering into and out of the various alley ways and stale smelling taverns of the west side of this town. It has been close to a month and still I have yet to find even one kindred soul. It was almost twilight now and I have made my way down through the docks and onto the beach. The air blowing from the sea is almost exhilarating as the serene sound of the waves crashing onto the shore offer a gentle calming to my erratic thoughts. Sad that the evening tide has become my sole companion and truest of confidants. The only means of finding a reason to wake with the dawn and continue on is finding the time to sit and collect my thoughts here in this battered book. Perhaps some day there may be something of value found written here.

She laughed then, laughed as she lifted her silver hued eyes out over the moon kissed waves before her. It was as though they were calling to her to loose herself within their depths where the constant pain and sorrow would longer plaque her. A silent promise of eternal peace. She shook her head forcing herself to snap out of it. Slender fingertips lift to caress the smooth silver face of her pendant before carefully tracing along the soft black feathers that hung there. She was being tested and she knew all too well what lie in wait of her should she allow herself to let go and give in the alluring voices that called to her from the folds of the shadows. She was not prepared to align herself with that darkness regardless of how strongly it coursed through her blood.

She held tight to the part of herself that wanted nothing more then to lower the inner guards within her that prevented her from giving in at last to that almost chaotic magick that sought so desperately to be free. It had happened but once in her life and the results were devastating. She knew to give in would be to ultimately loose all that she was within the all consuming chaos of that ancient magick. There was no distinction found. Her aunt had tried countless times to help her control it but it simply could not be done and so instead they worked and at last found a means of containing it but there was never a day that passed in which she was not reminded it was there, waiting. So much blood had been spilt by her own hands, her eyes witnessing death most only found in nightmares.

She knew no matter how hard she tried to remain on this path of self seeking redemption in the end her soul may ultimately be lost but that possibility was not enough to make her change her mind. She would find a means of redeeming herself in some way here in Rhydin. Eventually she would blend in and make a name for herself as her mother and father had done so many moons ago. It would all come with time and for her time was something she seemed to have an abundance of.

As she sat there, the steady salt kissed winds caressing her she remembered something a friend had said to her so very long ago..his voice conjuring up his image all to painfully. "You have to try and remember Iri, a gem cannot be polished without friction, nor a man or woman perfected without trials."

He was right...seemed like he was always right. So time continued on and for tonight she chooses to spend it here allowing the waves to continue to sing to her tattered soul.

Learn from yesterday, live for today and hope for tomorrow.